I don't like how lazy ive become
how indifferent I am to everything
how complicated things are/i make things
...how I don't care enough to do anything about it.

But the beauty of it is just that...I don't care.
The glass is still half full, I'm actually happy with myself right now.
I've adopted this attitude, you can take from it what you wish:
( Read more... )

Sarah Kost, you have brought me back to life.

This February break was not enough for me. I feel that I need to get out of town, away from everyone and everything that is familiarity. I miss the yearly trips to Florida that my family used to take. It was just us, visiting my grandma and meeting all her cute old friends, tanning by the pool and ( Read more... )

i'm done writing my feelings in here.
they change too often for me to keep up with them in my own head, let alone on a computer screen.
i'll still be around to read for everyone.

on hiatus until further notice.

the breakup phonecall.
is complete.

holy shit.

it was the right thing to do. it's in my gut.
it's in my heart.

I miss:

summer.
when the country parkway posse was tighter than double knotted shoelaces.
someone.
my passion for music.
my dedication to school.
when i didn't know what hurt was.
elizabeth, steven, ryan, watch island.
suzuki.
natalie.

Something is seriously wrong with my thinking and reasoning. I seem to always set myself up for letdowns. I wrote my last entry just 6 days ago and I'm already regretting it. Maybe regret isn't the right word, maybe just wishing I hadn't come off so strong. Jordan makes me happy, he's a wonderful person...I don't want to sound cocky or conceited ( Read more... )

I don't even know how or where to start, but one thing I can say is that I am happy. I love how I have to get used to being called and complimented and loved when I should have started being exposed to those things last March. I walk around with a smile planted on my face and steam roll over everything that could possibly ruin that. My appearance ( Read more... )

I have been such an odd mix of feelings lately. I think I've finally found who I am but it's as if I'm not happy with it...or I am happy with it but I'm too concerned with what other people think so then I think negatively of myself and try to pick out things to change.

jazz colloquium 2006.
<3.

Three weeks without internet. Surprisingly, it was nice. I actually got things done. I enjoyed the simple life, but after a while it gave me too much time to sit around and think, and too much thinking leads to me bringing myself down. I look at reality, and my realist mind ruins everything. All the ingoing thoughts come out negatively. I raise ( Read more... )