Fields of Gold Part Nine Continued

[deansdarkdream]

 
Dedicated to my Angels. I love you with every beat of my heart.
Title: Fields of Gold
Authors: Deans Dark Dream, L & A
Pairings: Dean/Sam,
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Based on a RL love story. Slash, rimming, hummers, love.
Disclaimer: I don't own Dean, Sam, Cas or Adam.
Summary: Max develops his skill as an artist. Dean becomes emotional at a party with friends. Dean, Sam and Max deal with the emotional fallout from the trial.
A/N: The section of the story with the trial was very difficult for me. This part was sent back and forth a half dozen times between me and the RL men this story is about. I want to thank you both for your help with this. Love you two so much! Always DDD  

Fields of Gold
Part Nine Continued

As we neared the couch, he stepped behind me and hooked his thumbs into the elastic waist of my tights, hauling them below my knees in one smooth move. My cock got caught for a moment and then sprang free, brushing against his hand as he wrapped his arms around me. He bumped his knees into the back of mine, dropped me to the floor, and pushed my chest down onto the couch. I heard his zipper and then he was behind me, nudging the head of his cock at my hole. I was beginning to wish I'd remembered lube when I heard the 'pop' of a snap-top bottle and felt the cool drizzle hit my ass. Bless you, Vincent.

Sam wasted no time poking the head of his cock into me. I sucked in a breath as he slowed for a moment, waiting until I pushed back into him before pressing steadily on in, stopping only when his balls were mashed against mine. He'd started on his knees, then he got to his feet, standing outside my legs, thrusting down into me. My prostate didn't stand a chance at that angle, which was fine with me. I wanted to be fucked quick and hard, and Sam knew me well enough to know that.

He hung onto my shoulders and banged away, yanking me back against his thighs as he battered my prostate into submission. I had a death grip on my cock, stroking quickly, and in record time, my balls were churning. My heart was hammering in my chest, and the harsh sound of our breathing filled the otherwise silent room until the first blast of my orgasm caught me unawares. I yelped as it ripped its way up my cock, spewing onto the towel Vincent had put out for us.

As my ass pulsed around Sam's dick, he plowed deeply into me and hung there for a second, trembling as the storm built. Suddenly he grunted harshly, and began to jerk through one of the hardest orgasms I've ever felt him have. Each time his body convulsed he shuddered, shaking me as well.

After a few moments, he pulled free of me, and went over backwards until he was flat out on the floor. I turned to face him and sat down between his knees on the towel. Sam's softening cock lay across his open fly, oozing a final few drops of cum onto his chef's pants. He lay still for a couple minutes before speaking, one hand splayed on his heaving chest and the other flung out across the floor.

"Fuck, you turn me on!  It's a good thing I'm a healthy man, or that one would have killed me."

He reached a hand to me and I crawled to his side, lying down with my head on his upper arm and my hand on his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair, fisting his hand and tugging gently now and then. It felt great, and I dozed off in the total relaxation that a really good orgasm leaves behind. Finally, though, Sam stirred.

"Wake up, baby, I gotta get back to work."  He pulled me up so he could look at me. "What was that all about?  You okay?"

I shrugged and kissed him. "Yeah, I just had a yen for you."

"A yen, huh?  Well, I've always got a yen for your hot ass, so don't be shy about giving in to those urges. You hungry?"

I hadn't been, having eaten lunch with Tay not all that long ago, but now I was starving, so I followed him back down the steps and into the kitchen, sitting on the stool where it had all begun almost nine years ago. My cock was still chubby and pretty obvious in my tights, so I draped a napkin across my lap, just like that first night I'd sat there.

Sam made me a plate piled with all the best that Stiva's had to offer and shared it with me, stopping by for an occasional bite while supervising dinner preparations. Vincent sat a basket of bread next to my elbow, along with a glass of wine, and I stayed there for another hour and a half, watching Sam manage the busy kitchen with ease.

There's something about watching the person you love do a thing they're really good at. My heart pinched a little whenever Sam caught my eye and smiled at me, his teeth flashing white in his dark face. I knew I was feeling overly emotional, and a couple times I was close to tears, sitting there in the bright white kitchen.

During a lull, I finally got up and made my way to the back door. Sam followed me out, holding me close with an arm over my shoulder. When we reached my car, he turned me to face him, planting his crotch on mine so that I was pinned against the door. He gathered me close and just held me for a minute before leaning back to look at me.

"You've been talking to Adam, haven't you?" he asked. I nodded. He studied my face for a moment before saying, "I don't like seeing you unhappy, Dean, but I can't fix that one for you."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm okay. I just needed to see you."

He kissed me goodbye and I drove back to the barn still depressed, but comforted, and glowing from the rowdy sex. I pulled into the yard just as Katie was hopping out of her car with a big smile. She bounced over to hug me and plant a kiss on my cheek. I hugged her back, holding on longer than usual, and she must have sensed that I needed something because she tightened her arms and just stood there holding me. She smelled nice, and her body was warm and soft where it pressed against mine, and I began to understand a little of what drew Max to her. Not to desire, but to understand.

Max pulled in just then, so I released her. She looked into my face for a second longer, then turned away and launched herself at him. He was used to her by now, and caught her under the arms to swing her around. She laughed and kissed him, and then he turned to me.

"I finished the Branson's portrait. The one of the girl and the pony. I want to show it to you before I take it to them. I like it, but I'm not sure if it's what they wanted, exactly."

He reached into the back of his truck, lifted out the picture, which was wrapped in an old sheet, and propped it on the back bumper. He folded the sheet back, giving Katie and me our first look at his latest creation. I didn't know the Bransons other than by reputation rich, conservative, mid thirties but I'd assumed that they wanted a somewhat formal portrait of their nine-year-old daughter Julia on a spit and polished little show pony of some sort. With that in mind, I gazed at Matt's picture in a state of shock.

A fat, shaggy, brown and white Shetland pony stood dozing in ankle-deep grass eyes closed, hip-shot as a young girl in t-shirt and old jeans lay on her back at his feet with her hands behind her head and her eyes closed to the sun. She had one knee bent as she smiled a dreamy nine-year-old's smile, and you could practically hear the bees buzzing in the wildflowers that dotted the field.

Max had done this one in watercolors, then gone over it with pen and ink, detailing facial features, blades of grass, the wrinkles in her jeans, the 'feathers' on the pony's fetlocks. As I let my eyes roam across the painting, I could almost feel the tickle of the grass on the back of Julia's neck, and the sense of contentment that both she and the pony felt. By the time Max uttered an agonized, "Well?" I was grinning in delight.

"Does the pony really look like that?"  I asked.

"Not any more. They trimmed him up after the first time I was there. Now he looks like a show horse. But he did, and he was a lot cuter then."

"Did they ask you for a formal pose?"

He shook his head. "Mrs. Branson just said she wanted a picture of Julia with Daisy and it had to be an odd size 17x20 to fit in an old frame she has. So I did one that I thought really caught what the two of them are like together."

"Well, I don't know the woman, but that's an amazing picture of a kid and her pony. They're gonna love it."

"God, I hope you're right."  Max blew out a breath. "I guess I'll take it over there. Wanna come?" he asked Katie. He slipped the picture carefully back into its sheet, and I made a mental note to buy him some carrying portfolios so that he could make a little classier presentation.

They came zooming into the yard an hour later. Max leaped out and jogged over to where I was talking to one of the owners about their overdue vet bill. He waited until I finished, vibrating with excitement, and then shoved a check in my face. He and I had discussed what he should ask for the picture back when he agreed to do it. Apparently, Mrs. Branson had agreed because the check was for the full $2000.

"She liked it, huh?"  I grinned at him.

"Well, she scared the shit outta me at first. She just stood there staring at it, and then she started crying.

When she calmed down a little, she told me that it wasn't at all what she expected, but that it was exactly what she wanted."

"Kind of like what Chloe told you about the dog picture. Seems you have a knack for catching the little nuances that make it really personal. I'm really proud of you, baby."

We celebrated that night with Max's favorite desert Snickers cheesecake a Stiva's specialty that I tried to stay away from because it had to be a thousand calories a bite. I shared a piece with Sam, who frowned at me every time I picked at the candy topping. After the fourth time he clunked his fork into mine.

"Damn it, just eat it normally, will you?  You're picking all the good stuff off."

"That's the least fattening part," I whined.

"Oh, Christ, just enjoy it. I'll work it off you later."

So I did, and he did.

Sunday was clear and hot, perfect for a pool day with friends. Maria had prepared all sorts of salads and side dishes, and Sam had a couple big trays of stuff ready for the grill. Max and Katie had ridden in the morning, and were now playing in the pool. As I watched, Katie trotted out to the end of the diving board and leaped in on top of Max.

They both climbed out a few minutes later to lie in the sun, and I looked at them fondly. Katie was wearing the smallest bikini I'd ever seen. It was bright pink, and contrasted nicely with Max's slinky black speedo. Neither suit left much to the imagination, but the way things had been going with them, I supposed I should be happy they were wearing anything at all.
Jesse and Ben pulled in around twelve, shirtless with their swim suits peaking out the tops of their shorts. The sight of Jesse's spectacular chest and arms had me entranced until Sam walked past me and pinched my ass. "Get a grip, Dean," he muttered as he went out to greet them.

As he and Jesse stepped into a long, close hug, Sam squeezed his eyes tightly shut and pressed his face down into Jesse's shoulder, the muscles in his arms standing out as he clutched Jesse to him. At that moment, with one of those rushes of understanding that leave you light-headed and a little ill, I realized that he was much more apprehensive about the impending trial than I'd thought. After a minute or so, as Ben looked on with a little smile, they broke apart, but Jesse kept a hand on the back of Sam's neck as they came into the kitchen.

I hugged Jesse and Ben, grabbed a handful of wine coolers from the fridge, and we headed out to the pool. Max leaped off his towel when he saw Jesse, and flew into his arms. Jesse rocked him back and forth for several moments, his face pressed to Max's as he whispered in his ear. Max clung to him, his slender form engulfed in Jesse's big arms. Max had come so far since Jesse and Sam had rescued him from a frightened, abused child to a loving, talented young man and I would not let Rand hurt him any further.

Katie stood up more slowly, staring at Jesse with wide eyes. He looked her up and down over Max's shoulder, smiling at her until she returned it with a tentative one of her own.

"You must be Katie," he said as he released Max. "Nice suit," he added as he dropped his shorts to reveal a skimpy square-cut suit the same shade of pink as her bikini. It was snug, low cut, and well packed, and nobody but Jesse could have pulled it off. He looked like an ad for Muscle Beach magazine as he held out his hand to Katie. "Come here, darlin'. I don't bite."

He pulled her to his side with an arm around her shoulders, and they turned to grin at us, both of them dropping into body builder poses. Together they looked like the mixed pairs swim suit champions good looking, well built, and barely dressed.

After a moment, he grabbed her arm, put a hand on her hip, and lifted her effortlessly onto his shoulder. She shrieked and clutched at him as he took a couple long strides and leaped into the pool. Max hopped in after them, and the water churned as the three of them rough-housed. Jesse picked up whichever one of them was closest, and tossed them as far as he could across the pool as they yelled and thrashed. After the emotional reunion, Jesse was doing his best to lighten the mood.

We had a lazy lunch, moving to the shade of the patio while we ate Maria's excellent chicken enchiladas and rice. The afternoon passed slowly, and then at one point Sam, Max, and Jesse went in the house. I knew they were going over what to expect in the courtroom, so that it wouldn't be as big a shock for Sam and Max. For an hour or so, I lay in the sun thinking about how I didn't know Sam quite as well as I'd thought. That made me feel terrible, because I expected he wouldn't have missed something like that if the situation had been reversed.

When they came back out, Max's eyes were red. He went to Katie, who pulled him close for a moment, then took his hand and led him away along the path to the jungle pool. As they settled onto a bench by a fountain, I could see Katie talking steadily, and figured Max would be okay with her.

Sam looked tired as he came to me, scooting me over on the chaise lounge so that he could lie down with his arm across my chest. I pressed my face to his and spoke softly into his ear. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't realize . . ."

He rubbed his hand slowly down my side until it rested on my hip and pulled me closer.

"It's okay, baby. I didn't realize myself until I saw Jesse today. I guess cause he was there, seeing him kind of brought it all back."  He turned his head to kiss me. "Just stay here with me for a bit."

He settled down, and as we lay there, I felt him gradually relax against me. It was peaceful and healing, and when we finally roused ourselves an hour later, Sam gave me a tender, intimate smile, the kind he usually reserves for after sex, and I knew we'd be okay.

Cas showed up around four, followed closely by Sky, and Gabriel. Zane and Chris rolled in about fifteen minutes later, and David showed up five minutes after that. Cas had run into David a few times here at the house, so they knew each other a little, and Chris surprised us when he said he owned a painting David had done years ago. David began to smile as Chris described a grassy hill at dawn with a flock of partridge in the foreground.

"God, I remember that one. One of the last oils I did. I sold it at that art fair they had one year at the high school."  He looked more closely at Chris. "And I remember you!  You worked me over until I practically gave you that painting."

Chris laughed. "Yeah, I wanted it something fierce, but I only had like $42 to my name. I want you to know that I've gotten more enjoyment from that painting than any other piece of art I own. It's where I go in my head when I need to relax. So, thanks for giving me a deal."

They went off talking about art, and I marveled at the little connections between people that you often never have any idea of. Now all we were missing was Tay. I'd almost given up on him when he poked his head into the kitchen as I was in getting more ice.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, coming over to look out at the pool. He was wearing shorts and a tank top, and he looked great. I'd never seen him in anything but his work clothes, and now I couldn't wait to get him out of his shorts so I could see his entire body. I walked over to him and draped an arm across his shoulders.

"You haven't missed a thing. I think there's only three guys you don't know. The older guy sitting next to Sky is David, Max's art instructor. The other two are Jesse in the pink suit, and his partner Ben."

Tay stood there for several minutes, just looking at everyone. I stayed with him watching his eyes slide up and down Sky, linger on Jesse's muscles, admire Sam's hard body wondering what he was thinking. Finally, he took a deep breath, and I figured he was ready to join the party. I handed him some liquid courage in the form of a cold beer, and we walked outside.

Sam and Max were the only ones who knew what Tay was struggling with, but we're a fairly civilized bunch, so I knew no one would embarrass him. Sam got to his feet when he saw us, coming over to greet Tay warmly. Max was comfortable enough to hug him, something that surprised both Tay and me, but Tay quickly hugged him back. Katie gave him a dazzling smile, which he returned somewhat shyly, as if she was an unexpected distraction. I have to admit ­Katie's blond, curvy femininity in the midst of all our gay maleness was an odd juxtaposition.

Jesse was watching Tay with that piercing gaze of his, and I figured he could read him easily unsure, undecided, and uncomfortable. After Tay sank into a lawn chair and busied himself with his beer, Jesse got up for more chips, and then wandered his way to the empty chair next to Tay. There he stayed for the next twenty minutes, smiling and talking. Tay nodded now and then, spoke occasionally, and finally grinned at something Jesse said to him. As Jesse stood up, he gripped the back of Tay's neck and gave him an affectionate shake. Tay watched him walk away with a smile, and I felt good that he was here with us, knowing that what he hadn't really acknowledged yet was accepted here without question.

The day stayed warm, and we all ended up back in the pool for a last frolic before dinner. Tay stripped off his tank with no problem, but was a little slower with his shorts, waiting until most of us were in the water before dropping them to reveal a suit similar to Jesse's, but a nice safe navy with red trim that looked new. I figured he'd bought it for today, and my heart went out to him, coming here this afternoon for a glimpse of a life so different from what he knew, but maybe exactly what he was meant for.

He was nicely built broad shouldered, and a little heavier than he looked in clothes. His belly was flat and solid, his legs strong. The black wedge of hair on his chest was thickest in the center, lightening as it swirled out across his nipples, and narrowing as it fell down the center of his stomach. The sight of him took me quickly back to the blow job, and I could almost taste him again as I recalled the feel of his cock in my mouth.

His suit started several inches below his navel, and those several inches were adorned with a trail of dark curls that spilled from his belly button down into the suit. The pouch of the suit was stuffed with his fat dick and huge nuts, and as he turned to walk to the pool, several pairs of eyes followed the shifting cargo in his shorts. I got a kick out of being the only guy who knew exactly what was in there.

I let him get almost to the edge of the pool and then ran at him, grabbing him in my arms and flinging us both into the pool. We sank for a moment, all tangled up together before he broke loose from me with a surge of muscles and rose to the surface, grinning at me. The brief contact with his almost naked body started a tingle in my crotch that I enjoyed until the cool water calmed me down.

Max had climbed onto Jesse's shoulders, Katie onto Chris's, and they were trying to topple each other into the water. They were evenly matched, so this went on for a while, until I could tell everyone was getting tired. Finally, Chris sort of launched Katie at Max, and all four of them went under in a tidal wave that almost drowned the rest of us. Katie called it a day at that point, going into the house to change and grab something to eat for the drive home.

It was cooling down by then, so the rest of us toweled off, stripped off our suits, and put our shorts and t-shirts back on. This was accomplished wherever we'd left our clothes, so most of us were standing around the pool area butt naked as we dried off. Tay hesitated only a moment before turning slightly away and tugging his suit down.

Out popped that incredible cock of his, not much smaller soft than it was hard. Most of us were all shriveled up from the cool water of the pool, but Tay's dick was thick and full, arching out over his low-hanging balls. The black tangle of his pubic hair emphasized the deep pink of his penis.

"Damn," Zane said in a reverent tone, "that's some dick you got there. You happy to see us, or is that its natural condition?"

Tay glanced down at his cock like he wasn't quite sure what Zane was talking about.

"That's about what it always looks like," he replied, looking up to see all of us gazing in admiration. He flushed a deep red, and reached for his shorts.

"Shit, don't be shy. If I had a dick like that, I'd go naked all the time."  Zane laughed at the thought.

"Honey, if you had a dick like that, we'd never leave the house," Chris stated, which got a laugh from the rest of us, and the moment passed.

Sam cooked up steaks, ribs, and hot links, and we dined on the patio again, sitting around one large table together. Tay was between Sam and Gabriel, looking happier than I'd seen him in months. Many men go their entire lives suppressing their homosexuality, but I hoped that Tay would find the strength and the courage to acknowledge his. Whatever the consequences, it had to be better than the abject misery I'd seen on his face at the barn a couple weeks ago.

Sky was sitting next to David with Jesse on his other side. He and Gabriel hadn't spent much time together today, and I had to agree with Sky that maybe they just weren't meant for each other. That got me wondering about Max and Cas. Was that going to become a permanent thing?  Max still went out with Sam's cousin Eddie now and then, dancing and God knows what else. After stocking Max up with his first batch of condoms, I'd quit keeping track, so I had no idea what Max was up to and who he was up to it with.

Conversation ebbed and flowed as we ate, and as I listened, I was struck by the variety and complexity of this group of men I called friends. We were artists, chefs, business owners, financial planners, horse trainers. We were as different in many aspects of our lives as one person could be from another, but we were all honest, caring men, men who tried to live good lives. On the spur of the moment, I stood up and stepped behind the chair to my right. Sam stopped eating and looked up as I bent over Chris with my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you for being here tonight," I said softly into his ear. "I treasure your friendship."

He looked up at me in surprise, searching my face with curious eyes. I'm not sure what he saw, but he looped an arm up around my neck and pulled me down to hold me close for a moment.

When he released me, I moved to the next chair where Zane smiled at me as I hugged him. Cas was next, and by then everyone was silent, watching me. One by one, I moved around the table, saying something personal to each of them, letting them know what they meant to me.

Sky returned my kiss warmly, and his 'I love you, too' was the first time I'd heard that from him. Jesse didn't say a word, just grasped my arm in an iron fist, and held me tight for a moment. Tay was next to last, seated to Sam's left. I rested my hands on his shoulders as I leaned down to his ear.

"You belong here with us," I told him.

He nodded, reaching up to put his hands over mine. "I know," he whispered, our faces close. When I kissed him lightly, he returned the kiss.

By the time I got to Sam, I was out of words and close to tears, so I just buried my face in the curve of his shoulder. He gripped my wrist and pulled me around onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me as I composed myself.

After a moment, David asked Max how his latest commission was going, and attention turned away from Sam and me.

"That was a wonderful thing you just did."  He nuzzled into the hollow of my collarbone, speaking softly so that only I could hear him. "Is it any wonder that I love you so much."

A while later we all wandered down to the hot tub, steamy and inviting in the cool evening air. The dim garden lights were enough to see by, so I left the tub lights off. My emotional display at the dinner table had had an effect on everyone, and we were quiet as we undressed and slipped into the bubbly water.

I ended up with Tay on one side of me and Sam on the other. Sam slid a hand up my thigh, and as I spread my legs a little to let him in, I bumped into Tay's knee. He didn't move away from the contact, and after a moment, I settled one hand onto his muscled thigh and the other on Sam's.

Talk turned to the trial. Jesse had been working with the DA's office, mostly persuading reluctant witnesses to come forward with information. They had a solid case, and there wasn't much doubt that Rand would go away for a long time.

If he never saw daylight again, it would be too soon for me. I knew that Sam was strong enough to get through the trial whole, but I was concerned about Max. I looked at him now, his head on Cas's shoulder, eyes closed, and wondered if the love and respect Sam and I had given him these past nine months would be enough.

David was the first to call it a night, and when he climbed out of the tub, Jesse and Ben left also, and that started an exodus. Within a few minutes, it was just Cas, Max, Tay, Sam, and me. When Max yawned for the third time in ten minutes, Cas stood and tugged him to his feet, saying, "I think it's past our bedtime, Max."

Sam had been playing with my balls for the last twenty minutes, and I was starting to think seriously about clamping his hand around my bobbing cock, but Tay seemed in no hurry to leave, and I wasn't real comfortable fooling around with him right there. Sam, however, had no such inhibitions, and turned toward me so that he could get both hands on me. With one hand on my dick, he slid the other between my legs and under me so that he could tickle my ass with a fingertip.

As I dropped my head back against the tub ledge, Tay glanced at me. I'm sure he recognized the look on my face because his eyes darkened and his thigh tensed under my hand. I slid my hand up his leg until my little finger touched his nuts, then began to squeeze his leg in the same rhythm Sam was stroking me.

As I neared orgasm my breathing quickened, and in between my own pants, I could hear Tay's. His nuts lifted away from my finger for an instant, and then pushed back firmly. When it happened quickly a second and third time, I realized he was jerking off. That really wound me up, and in the heat of the moment, I reached for his balls, grabbing them gently and tugging them down, then kneading them in my hand. Tay's leg lifted against mine as he spread his legs for me, so I shoved my hand a little deeper and pressed a finger just below his sack.

Sam bit the side of my neck just then, and as I began to shoot, I squeezed Tay's nuts harder than I meant to. He cried out and bucked under my hand, pumping into the swirling water as I massaged his balls. I opened my eyes, rolling my head to him. His face was contorted with the force of his climax, the tendons in his neck were taut, and his body jerked with each spasm of his cock.

I released him before he was finished, figuring it would be less awkward if he decided to be weird about me helping. I kept watching him until his eyes opened, focusing slowly on me as he came back to himself. We stared at each other for a long minute before I smiled at him.

"Glad you came over this evening?"

He just nodded without speaking, and stood to climb out of the tub. I watched him dress, tucking that chunky cock into his baggy shorts, and tugging on his shirt. He squatted down and put a hand on each of our shoulders. "Thanks for tonight. I enjoyed it."

I tipped my head to rest my cheek on his hand. "See you next week."

After he left, Sam hugged me as I began to stroke him. He nuzzled my ear, squirming slightly as I pinched his nipple.

"I'll say one thing for you, Dean. You know how to throw a party."

We chuckled and headed up to bed. Sam jumped on me as soon as we hit the mattress, climaxing quickly as I sucked him off with a finger up his ass. We took a short shower to rinse off the cum and chlorine, then snuggled up together for one last night before the trial began.

Early on the first day of the trial the three of us climbed into the car I'd hired. The federal courthouse was an hour away, and I didn't want us to have to cope with our emotions and traffic by driving ourselves. I’d thought about taking hotel rooms for a few days, but the comforting familiarity of our own home seemed like a better idea.

Despite knowing that Rand would be in the courtroom with us, it was still a shock for Max and Sam when he was led in. Max glanced at him and quickly looked back at me for reassurance, his eyes wide and frightened. I put him between Sam and me, holding his sweaty hand, and wishing irrationally that Rand had somehow died before this ever came to trial.

Sam stared him down, holding his gaze until Rand looked away. There was a fierce resolve in Sam that I'd never felt from him before. From the moment we'd awakened that morning, he had been focused and intent. He was sweet to me, knowing that I was dreading this, but he was distant, and I knew his thoughts were elsewhere.

I'd never seen Rand before, and I was struck by how ordinary he appeared until he met my eyes. His cold, flat stare prickled the hairs on my arms, and I studied his face, wondering at a person who could do the things I knew he’d done. I reached across Max for Sam's hand, praying that the trial went quickly and smoothly, so that we could get back to our lives.

The three of us sat there, taking comfort from each other and waiting for things to get started, when I felt a hard hand settle onto my shoulder. Jesse's face appeared between Max and me, hugging us together so that our faces pressed to his. Having him there was a huge relief. I knew that Rand couldn't get to us, but Jesse's solid, capable, kick-ass presence was just what we needed.

"Thank you," I whispered to him. He gripped my shoulder more firmly for a second, and then shifted over to talk to Sam. I watched relief flood across Sam's face, and I felt that twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing no matter how much you love someone that you simply cannot be everything they need.

Cas was not in the courtroom at Max’s request. A few days before, I’d told Max that Cas could ride with us, but Max said he wasn’t coming. I looked at Max questioningly until he finally replied.

“I just don’t want him there. I’ve told him a lot about what happened to me before, but I don’t want him to hear it all again like that.” So it was just the three of us, and Jesse.

The morning passed slowly as we listened to judge's instructions and opening remarks from both prosecution and defense. I watched the defense lawyer, wondering what Rand could possibly have said that would make him sound innocent.

At one point the DA began talking about a man who had been a victim as a child, and fifteen years later, had been instrumental in Rand's arrest. I suddenly realized he was talking about Sam, and turned to him as he took a deep breath, his jaw tight.

They called Sam's name halfway through the second day. He squeezed my leg briefly, and took the witness stand, speaking calmly as the DA ran him through events leading up to the night he'd met Rand.

The defense attorney voiced a barrage of objections about the DA leading the witness. Some intense arguments between the DA, the desperate defense attorney, and the judge ensued, and after the judge threatened the defense attorney with contempt, things calmed down.

As Sam began to describe how Rand grabbed him into the car that first night a skinny seventeen-year-old struggling against a grown man who outweighed him by fifty pounds his voice tightened perceptibly.

He paused when he came to the physical details of the rape, and I could see him gathering himself for the horrors that lay ahead. I watched as he described in excruciating detail how Rand had torn him open, and then left him bruised and bloody on a street corner at three in the morning. I felt light-headed and hollow as Sam told about bleeding for three days, too terrified and ashamed to tell anyone, wrapping his bloody underwear in newspaper before stuffing it in the bottom of the garbage can.

Hearing what I knew to be an act of brutal violence reduced to clinical, courtroom-acceptable terms such as 'erection' and 'anus,' somehow made it even more awful, if that was possible. I glanced at the jury; each of them was riveted to Sam's face, their expressions showing various stages of revulsion and disgust. I wondered for a moment if that was due to the homosexual nature of the rape, or simply because it was an act of violence against a boy not unlike some of their own children.

The DA moved on to the point in time when Sam broke off his relationship with Rand, asking him what had been his motivation to make the break. Sam had been looking at the DA, but now he turned to me and locked onto my eyes.

"I met someone and fell in love. I knew then that I had to get away."

I stared at Sam as a smile spread across my face. Knowing that he loved me was one thing; hearing him announce it in a courtroom full of strangers, with a court reporter taking it all down word for word, was quite another. He held my gaze for a long, intense moment before turning his attention back to the DA.

Sam went on to describe the day he was attacked at our house. Rand and two of his guys had jumped him as he let himself in the side door from the garage. They'd ripped his clothes off as they dragged him down the hall. At this point Sam's torn shirt was held up as an exhibit. I looked at it, vividly remembering that day I’d found it at the bottom of the stairs and realized something was truly wrong with Sam.

As Sam described his injuries from that day, slides were shown on a large screen. The first one was of Sam's wrists, deeply scored and bleeding from the yellow rope that had been embedded in his flesh. The second one was a photo of his back, marked with the oozing black burns. The third one was a close-up of the worst burn, seared a quarter inch deep into his body; the skin crisp, black, and curling around the edges. As I looked at those larger-than-life pictures, the horror of that afternoon swept over me.

"Oh, God," I moaned softly as Max stared at the screen in sick fascination. He'd heard the story from Sam while they were still in Dallas, but the photos were graphic evidence of just how bad it had been. Max began to shake, and I struggled to get myself under control so that I could comfort him. Jesse clamped a hand on the back of my neck, and wrapped his other arm around Max with his hand spread over Max's chest.

I closed my eyes, concentrating on the warmth of his firm grip, and after a moment, it was enough to steady me. Matt had turned to rest his head on Jesse's arm, and seemed to be calming down a little. As I looked at his pale, shaken expression, I began to get very concerned over how he would cope when it was his turn in the witness box.

Sam was on the stand for four solid hours. The defense attorney never interrupted his testimony again and I listened to every word Sam said. He spoke of the aftermath of the attack, how it had affected him emotionally, how it began to erode our relationship. Watching him relive the worse days of his life changed something in me. As I listened to Sam talk, listened to the tremor in his voice, I began to hate Rand with a smoldering intensity I hadn’t thought I possessed. No matter what punishment he was given, it wouldn't be enough to atone for the atrocities he had inflicted on the man I loved.

When the now subdued defense attorney was finished with Sam, he stood up and took a long slow look at every person in the jury box. Then he turned to stare at Rand for a moment before looking away in disgust. He sat back down next to Max, but reached across him to grip my hand hard.

Sam was quiet on the drive home, staring out the window, lost in thought. Max wasn't in much better shape, sitting close to me with my arm across his shoulders. Cas met us at the house, hugging Max wordlessly as we went into dinner. Maria had come back for the evening to take care of us, quietly serving us beef stew and warm homemade bread with apple pie for desert. Comfort food meant to take our minds off our troubles.

Sam barely spoke through supper, and afterward he led me past the den straight up to our room. His face was tired and sad as he undressed and crawled under the covers. We curled up together, letting the closeness of our bodies work its magic on our damaged spirits. He was silent for a long time, and then he finally whispered to me, "Tell me that you still love me after hearing that filth today."

"Oh, Sam, I love you." I nuzzled into him as he crushed me to him. “I love you.” He was trembling, and I tried to wrap myself around him, rolling onto him when he turned onto his back. “I will always love you.”

We lay there a long time, our bodies touching from face to toes, and Sam gradually relaxed. I dozed a little bit, but woke to the pressure of Sam's cock hardening into my belly.

I raised my head. It was dark now, but the moon was full, and in its milky light I could see Sam looking at me, his eyes troubled.

"I need you, Dean." His voice was low and thick with desire, and it surged through me, ending in a burst of heat in my crotch.

As he spoke, his erection throbbed between us. I sat up and straddled his hips, trapping his cock behind me so that it pressed along the cleft of my ass. I rose and fell just enough to drag the head of his dick across my hole, and it wasn't long before we were both precum-slick and breathing hard.

I braced my hands on either side of Sam's shoulders and kissed him deeply as he reached between my legs to slide a finger into me. I shuddered with pleasure when he pumped it a few times. With his other hand, he reached under me to grasp the base of his cock. He began to push it slowly into me alongside his steadily pumping finger, and I arched my back as the sensations intensified.

We never broke eye contact as the full length of him eased home. At some point, he'd removed his finger, and now I could feel the veins and ridges of his penis as he moved ever so slowly back out of me. With just the head of his cock in my ass, I leaned down and kissed him.

I've kissed Sam in so many different ways, times, moods, and settings that I would have sworn I knew his mouth as well as I knew my own, but this kiss was different. Hungry, passionate, a little desperate it was full of the tension of the day, and the relief of being alone together, safe in our bed, connected as intimately as we could possibly be. As we kissed, he slid back into me, so that the kiss ended with us moaning into each other's mouths, almost vibrating with desire.

We stayed like that for a long time, moving slowly against each other, kissing, saying 'I love you' into the hush of the night. Sam touched my face often, his warm palm pressed to my cheek, his gentle finger tracing the line of my jaw. His nipples hardened under my hands as I rubbed his chest, and his cock danced inside me when I lightly pinched one. Then he caught my wrists, pulling me down to lay flat on him. His heart thudded against my ribs, beating out the rhythm of his increasing arousal.

I began to feel like I could stay there forever Sam buried deep, our hands and mouths on one another. We've made love in all manner of ways in the years since we'd met slow and loving; rowdy and noisy; sweet and playful; bruising and a little rough. All had their particular charms at the time, but gradually I realized that tonight was something we'd never experienced together. Tonight our aching souls were finding solace in the joining of our bodies.

Suddenly he began to thrust strongly into me. He gripped my hips with steely fingers, slamming me down onto him as his breathing changed from the hard pants of excitement to the beginning gasps of tears. As he began to climax, he finally started to cry three hard, choking sobs that held all the hurt and fear and outrage that he still carried with him. I held him tight, and soon he quieted to shuddery breaths that blew warm and moist against my neck.

"Jesus," he murmured, his voice hoarse with exhaustion. "It frightens me how much I need you."

"Go to sleep, sweetheart. I'll be right here. I'll always be right here."

I kissed him and wiped the tears from his face as he rolled onto his side and backed into me. For one of the few times in our relationship, we fell asleep with me holding him. My right arm was under his neck, and my left was wrapped around him with my hand on his chest. As he started to drift off, he took my wrist and slid my hand down his belly to cup his testicles. He kept his hand over mine, pressed firmly into him, until sleep took him.

I lay awake for a long time, listening to him breathe, feeling his body relax against me. Until now, I had always felt as though I needed Sam more than he needed me, an imbalance common to most relationships, I suppose. But tonight, kissing him, looking into his eyes as he pumped slowly into me, I knew that he needed me just as much. I brushed my mouth over the back of his neck, breathing him in, before letting myself drift away.

I woke at 3am, suddenly aware that something wasn't right. Sam was breathing peacefully as I eased out of bed, dragged on shorts, and stepped into the hall. The door to the guest room was open, so I walked silently to the end of the hall and peeked in. Cas was alone in the bed, sleeping as deeply as Sam.

I backtracked to Max's room, but it was empty. Concerned now, I trotted down the stairs, and padded along the hall to the den. He was there, huddled under a quilt in his favorite chair. He lifted his head when I came into the room, but didn't say anything, just watched me with haunted eyes. I brought him to his feet and into my arms, hugging him until he relaxed a little. Then I led him back upstairs to our room.

Sam woke up when Max slipped under the covers, pulling him close as I put my arm over them both. None of us spoke, we just held each other, nuzzling and kissing a little until we dozed off. I left our door open so that Cas could find Max if he woke up before we did.

When we got up at seven, Cas was gone, watching over things at the barn while I was tied up with the trial. Max showered with us before going to his own room to dress. He was quiet, but returned my encouraging smile as we ate breakfast.

We made it through the next two days by spending pretty much every moment together. I don't know what Max said to Cas, but the second night he was there to greet Max when we got home, and then left after supper. Max stayed close to Sam or me in the evenings, watching when one of us left the room, keeping a hand on whichever of us he was sitting with. It was reminiscent of his first few weeks with us when he needed all the love and reassurance we could provide. At night, we all climbed into our big bed, arms and legs over one another. There was no sex after that first night between Sam and me. We simply needed to be together.

Fields of Gold Part 10

Thanks Daemon for Max & Dean! Hugs DDD     Sam & Max at Stivas