(no subject)
Dear Dean,
My question is twofold:
1. A series of (mostly) unrelated events has led to my being handcuffed to a headboard. It's a long and embarrassing story that mostly involves a lot of tequila and a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. You have a bit of a reputation as a master locksmith, so I thought I'd ask your advice. Please help me, Dean! You're my only hope! (Well, short of calling Macgyver, but, frankly, he doesn't have your… assets.)
2. I'm getting a tattoo and I was wondering if you had any advice on useful symbols that would look good. If it helps, that tat's going on my hip.
Any words of wisdom?
Dear Skynyrd Fan,
If you're handcuffed to a headboard, how are you writing an email to me? The freaky powers of your brain? Get with it, lady, no way am I falling for that one. Last time I got involved in that sort of foolishness, I woke up in a dumpster the next morning with shaved legs and not a scrap of clothing on me.
I still refuse to believe that the only freakin' thing Sammy could find for me to wear back to the motel room was a dress. Jesus Christ.
Chicks with tattoos are hot, though, so maybe I'll forgive you for your pitiful attempt at catching me off guard. Dean Winchester is always alert, man. Keep with the program.
I'm always partial to naked ladies, myself. That way, when I'm mapping out your tattoo with my tongue, I'll have two naked ladies to look at. Kinda feels like buy-one-get-one-free day at the supermarket.
LOVE Dean
Dean would like to state, for the record, that Sam no longer has any hair.