I'm pleased to announce a new program here at the embassy, inspired by my online interaction. I like to call it the Cohdopian Correctional Care Carton
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Oh, it's all right, I do enjoy receiving feedback, positive or negative. In the case of Ms. von Karma, I'm sure she's only looking out for my best interests. She's very kind!
I'm so glad to hear that you like the idea.
For sports related items, I could send you a water bottle emblazoned with our Cohdopian butterfly? Or a pair of hand knit socks? We also have a set of balls for playing the traditional Cohdopian sport of aahnrühd, which comes with instructions!
If by "kind" you mean "heavy-handed with a whip", then sure! She's a firecracker, that one.
Anyhow. Tempted as I may be by a nice pair of socks for the cold prison ground... Aahnruhd, you say? A new sport sounds like just the thing to pass the time around here! Sign me up, Ambassador.
Ah, she is always very nice to me and has never once struck me.
And I'll be happy to send you the aahnrühd balls! I think it's a rather fun sport. I used to play it frequently when I was a child. I do hope you'll like it, Mr. Portsman.
Gotta admit Mr. Ambassador, I agree with some of the people saying that the inmates are already too pampered. Most of them are there for putting other innocent lives through hell, so forgive me if I find your idea to be a waste of money.
But the fact that you seem to care so much about criminals is still respectable, I guess.
Thank you for your honest opinion, Mr. Crescend. I greatly appreciate it! I'll take it into account when deciding whether to continue this program.
It's not so much of an expense, really. We give samples of most of those items away to begin with, and anything else I'm funding personally. I've already given much more away to the Prosecutor's Office and the Police Department.
I've read that rehabilitation programs lower crime rates! I've been doing some research on the subject since meeting and interacting with prisoners online, some of whom are quite nice, though I know many of them are guilty of terrible crimes. But perhaps I should rethink the form my program takes!
It's good to hear that, sir. I don't doubt that you'll make a positive impact to our society, now that it's taken out some of the freaking trash around the embassy.
Rethink is good. Revise is good. Whatever floats your boat. I can't disagree with those facts, and perhaps there are some who deserve second chances. Just sayin that there are many who don't, and it's them you gotta take into consideration.
Yes, I was quite sorry about everything that happened at the embassy. I had no idea anything of the kind was going on. Everyone working here has been thoroughly re-vetted since the incident.
I'll certainly take that into consideration, thank you.
My staff runs checks on everyone I correspond with online, so I know what crimes all the prisoners I speak with have been convicted of. You're right, some of their crimes were rather dire!
[Klavier does not follow his own advice, obviously]der_gewinnerMay 18 2010, 17:09:28 UTC
Herr Ambassador, I couldn't help but notice you are getting some flak for this idea. I see nothing wrong in providing amenities to the incarcerated; there are many charities in place to do that very thing.
All I would recommend is that you save some of your own money for you. One day you will want to settle down and buy a house in the Caribbean with your husband. Don't attempt to spend all your money at once, ja?
Thank you very much, Mr. Gavin! I'm happy to know you approve of the idea. I honestly didn't think there would be so much opposition to it, but I appreciate everyone expressing their opinion so openly. It gives me something to consider.
Ah, I do save some, however--I probably shouldn't be saying this, but--ambassadors are, in my opinion, overpaid. I do think my job is extremely important, even vital, yet the amount I'm paid compared to those in other essential jobs, like schoolteachers and the police, it's astounding. It's my pleasure and my honor to donate the surplus of my income to those who truly need it.
There's nowhere else in this world I'd rather live than Cohdopia! I already have a house there. However lovely the States are, I always miss the sweet, green meadows of home, not to mention the company of my dear family. I look forward to one day living there with my husband and watching my nieces and nephews grow into young women and men: the bright future of Cohdopia.
Was that your organ? I see! Yes, we've given it a very good home.
It's now in the Cohdopian Embassy's theater. The organ happens to be one of our national instruments, so I thought it would be a lovely addition. The national anthem sounds quite stirring when played on it.
Golden butterflies and flowers have been added to the organ by Cohdopian artists, as they are our national symbols! I can send you a picture of it, if you like.
And I'm glad you're not worried about the ink, Mr. Gant. I can send you some candies or literature instead.
I'm admittedly much less knowledgeable of what happens to an individual after their incarceration... but it seems self-evident that positive reenforcement is only effective when there is a positive behavior to enforce.
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So what does Codhopia have to offer an athlete like me?
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I'm so glad to hear that you like the idea.
For sports related items, I could send you a water bottle emblazoned with our Cohdopian butterfly? Or a pair of hand knit socks? We also have a set of balls for playing the traditional Cohdopian sport of aahnrühd, which comes with instructions!
Do let me know which you'd like.
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Anyhow. Tempted as I may be by a nice pair of socks for the cold prison ground... Aahnruhd, you say? A new sport sounds like just the thing to pass the time around here! Sign me up, Ambassador.
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And I'll be happy to send you the aahnrühd balls! I think it's a rather fun sport. I used to play it frequently when I was a child. I do hope you'll like it, Mr. Portsman.
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But the fact that you seem to care so much about criminals is still respectable, I guess.
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It's not so much of an expense, really. We give samples of most of those items away to begin with, and anything else I'm funding personally. I've already given much more away to the Prosecutor's Office and the Police Department.
I've read that rehabilitation programs lower crime rates! I've been doing some research on the subject since meeting and interacting with prisoners online, some of whom are quite nice, though I know many of them are guilty of terrible crimes. But perhaps I should rethink the form my program takes!
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Rethink is good. Revise is good. Whatever floats your boat. I can't disagree with those facts, and perhaps there are some who deserve second chances. Just sayin that there are many who don't, and it's them you gotta take into consideration.
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I'll certainly take that into consideration, thank you.
My staff runs checks on everyone I correspond with online, so I know what crimes all the prisoners I speak with have been convicted of. You're right, some of their crimes were rather dire!
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All I would recommend is that you save some of your own money for you. One day you will want to settle down and buy a house in the Caribbean with your husband. Don't attempt to spend all your money at once, ja?
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Ah, I do save some, however--I probably shouldn't be saying this, but--ambassadors are, in my opinion, overpaid. I do think my job is extremely important, even vital, yet the amount I'm paid compared to those in other essential jobs, like schoolteachers and the police, it's astounding. It's my pleasure and my honor to donate the surplus of my income to those who truly need it.
There's nowhere else in this world I'd rather live than Cohdopia! I already have a house there. However lovely the States are, I always miss the sweet, green meadows of home, not to mention the company of my dear family. I look forward to one day living there with my husband and watching my nieces and nephews grow into young women and men: the bright future of Cohdopia.
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It's now in the Cohdopian Embassy's theater. The organ happens to be one of our national instruments, so I thought it would be a lovely addition. The national anthem sounds quite stirring when played on it.
Golden butterflies and flowers have been added to the organ by Cohdopian artists, as they are our national symbols! I can send you a picture of it, if you like.
And I'm glad you're not worried about the ink, Mr. Gant. I can send you some candies or literature instead.
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Perhaps I should discontinue the program after all.
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I simply wanted to do something nice for my friends in the prison, like Ms. Paups and Mr. Armando.
Do you have any other ideas for something I might do? I was considering a jobs for ex-prisoners program as well.
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