Home (2/5)
Pairing: Jeff/Annie, Britta/Everyone, ensemble
Word Count: 4045
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: Season One
Description: Graduation 2013, complete with flashbacks to the past four years.
Disclaimer: I do not own Community. Community owns me.
Author’s Note: Fic Exchange Gift for rashaka (Prompt: kissing, non-age related angst, someone supporting Jeff/Annie, Bonus: almost caught on campus) Err… change “on campus” to “in hotel room” and it’s all there.
PART I
Part II
home is wherever I’m with you
~*~*~*~
A long hot shower, a change of clothes and a nap have helped ease Jeff from his post-road trip funk and he leans back in his seat feeling relaxed and easy. The ice in his scotch clinks together as he tilts his glass this way and that way before taking a sip, enjoying the taste on his tongue, the warm burn as it slides down his throat.
He looks at Abed across the bar-height table they've claimed in the corner, watches him scribble furiously into a notepad. “What are you doing?”
“Taking notes.” He looks up. “I admit. I’m a little confused. I’m not sure how this is going to play out. See, Jeff, finales are tricky. They very rarely reach the high expectations of the audience and they’re so often ruined by cliché moments of sentimentality or disappointing answers to mythological questions.”
Jeff nods. He’s used to this by now, to playing along, to maybe getting swept up in Abed’s surreal cinematic take on life. “And what mythological questions need to be answered in our world?”
Abed pauses, “Exactly. There are no unanswered questions. There’s no last minute obstacle that needs to be cleared. And the focal couple of the series have already resolved their sexual tension and realized they’re better off as friends. I’m not sure what else can happen. Unless you think we’ve all actually died and this is just some kind of middle afterlife we’ve dreamed up so we can be together again.”
“Yeaaahhh, I’m going to go with no on that one.”
Britta plops down at the table with her drink. “Jeff. I’m surprised to see you here. There’s a table over there of barely legal wannabe skanks who have been giving you the eye all night long. How have you not already gotten on that?” She tilts her head, “Lost your game old man?”
Jeff doesn’t even need to look over to see what she’s talking about. The girls in question had caught his eye earlier and while he can appreciate some of what they are throwing down, their proclivity for shrieking every time a Lady Gaga song plays on the jukebox borders on headache inducing. But he’s not about to admit this to Britta. He takes a sip of his scotch, peering over the glass toward the bar where Shirley and Annie are huddled close together whispering.
“I’m biding my time. Drop a few winks here, a couple nods there and pretty soon they’ll be eating out of the palm of my hand.” He leers at Britta suggestively.
“Uggh. You’re gross, you know that?”
“Don’t deny your feelings Britta. You know you want another-” He’s cut off as she claps her hand over his mouth.
“Please don’t say anything that’s going me make me want to throw my drink in your face.”
“Jeff and Britta pretend to be mildly repulsed by each other but really they are both lost in the overwhelming emotion of how they are going to miss this back and forth, this unlikely friendship that started-”
“Abed!”
“Sorry.”
~*~*~*~
November 2011
Annie brought David with her when she came home for Thanksgiving and they all got together at Shirley’s that Saturday to meet him and find out if he was as “sweet” as she had been claiming for the past few months.
He was tall and wiry and seemed a little shy at first surrounded by these people who were loud and opinionated and half-crazy but pretty soon he was talking with Abed about his sister who was in film school at USC and arguing with Troy about which BCS conference had the best chance at the championship Bowl Game that year. At some point he made an off-handed comment about a summer he spent building orphanages in Haiti with some church group and both Britta and Shirley seemed to visibly melt and suddenly David was the honorary eighth member of their group.
Pierce seemed to be the only real holdout and he muttered to Jeff as they were standing in the doorway of the kitchen, “We already have enough men in this group.”
“Well Pierce, maybe next time Annie will bring home a girl for you.
As soon the words left his mouth he regretted it and Pierce’s eyebrows waggled suggestively. “College is a time of experimentation. Isn’t that right Britta?” He called out the last part loudly.
Britta didn’t even look up, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, but the answer is no.”
Jeff took a pull of his beer and watched Annie as she moved across the room and sat next to David. They turned toward each other, talking quietly as she smiled and reached up to curl her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Something made him laugh loudly and his hand came up to rest on her knee. For a moment it seemed that they were both completely oblivious to anything else in the room.
And later (not that it really mattered because it was enough that she was really, authentically happy) Jeff ended up standing near him in the living room as David talked about how he was thinking about going into law and Jeff actually kind of liked this guy and he wasn’t sure why he was so surprised.
When he hugged Annie as she was leaving and whispered, “He is a good guy, definitely not a douchebag,” he really truly meant it.
~*~*~*~
Annie giggles, leaning into his arm. Jeff looks down at her with a smile. “Oh laugh it up. Remind me again, who was it that slammed my head into a table? Twice?”
She winces and reaches up to feather her fingers across his temple. “I apologized for that!”
“I had a headache for three days.”
“That was pretty scary,” Troy says with wide eyes. Then he stops, thinks about it. “But also weirdly hot.”
“Why is it that when a woman asserts her power in any way, it’s always misconstrued as being of a sexual nature?” Britta breaks in.
Troy turns toward her, “Britta, I’m not even sure exactly what you just said, but I’m pretty sure it was the opposite of cool. Why can’t something just be hot because it’s hot?”
Britta looks confused as she tries to follow his logic. Jeff snorts, “Well, speaking as the person whose head was smashed into the table, it was not hot. It just hurt like hell.” He glares at Annie again.
“Jeff, I was just trying to assert my badassness.”
“Well, badassness asserted. Please don’t use my face to do it next time.”
Troy snorts, “Now that’s what she said.”
Everyone stares at him, except Britta who laughs. “That kind of works actually.” A split second later she looks around the table, mortified, “Oh God. Please don’t tell Pierce.”
Troy’s still laughing to himself, “I’ve got to hand it to him, that joke is still funny.”
“Where is Pierce?” Annie asks as she scans the bar.
“I think he went to bed a while ago.” Jeff stops. “Actually, his words were, ‘The female moans of pleasure you hear tonight coming down the hall will be from my room…. But. I’m pretty sure that’s Pierce Code for I’m tired and I’m going to catch an episode of Murder She Wrote before turning in.”
Annie laughs but then someone at the table next to them suddenly bumps into her from behind and her drink goes splashing across the table. On either side, Troy and Jeff reach out to hold her steady and then turn to face the culprit.
“Oh man, I am so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you okay?”
She turns around and finds herself looking up at a guy that is all chiseled jaw and blue eyes. His shaggy blonde hair falls across his forehead as he smiles down at her.
“Oh. Um. I’m fine.”
He glances down and then back up, eyes trailing over her body. “You’ve got that right.”
Annie’s smile falters and her eyes widen a little. Britta lets out a derisive snort.
Chiseled Jaw looks at Annie’s drink which is now dripping onto the floor in a puddle. “I guess that’s my fault. How ‘bout I buy you another one over at the bar? He glances down again but this time his eyes don’t make it any further than the neckline of her shirt.
“No thank you?” Annie grimaces then instinctively leans back toward Jeff who takes his cue and throws his arm around her shoulder.
“Babe. I’m going to the bar, you want anything?”
She gazes up at him with an exaggerated look of schmoopiness, “Thanks babe. My usual?”
“You got it.”
He squeezes her shoulder and casts a warning stare toward the guy as he skirts past him toward the bar.
Chiseled Jaw looks confused for a second, then casts his sights on Britta.
“Hey gorgeous.”
She rolls her eyes and turns her back on him. “Yeah right.”
Jeff leans over the bar to get the bartender’s attention. “Scotch and a Ketel Cranberry. Thanks.”
“And a beer.” Troy calls out as he joins him.
They both look back at the table where Annie and Britta are actively ignoring Chiseled Jaw as they lean across the table and giggle. He looks momentarily annoyed and then heads over to the group of barely legal girls who all giggle at the sight of his approach.
“You guys are weirdly good at that.”
“What?”
“You and Annie. That fake boyfriend girlfriend thing you do. It’s weird.”
Jeff shrugs, “Is it? It’s not like we do it all the time.”
“That’s why it’s weird.”
Jeff looks at him, “What?”
Troy stares back, “What?”
“Nothing.”
People are being weird today. Jeff feels confused. “I think you’ve been hanging out with Britta too much.”
Troy turns to him with wide eyes, “Why? What did you hear?”
And now he’s even more confused. “What?”
“Nothing,” Troy says slowly, pulling back to look at Jeff through narrowed eyes.
They stare at each other until Troy’s gaze shifts away. “She’s kinda hot right?”
“Annie?”
“Britta.”
“Oh.” Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. Maybe he’s already had enough to drink today. “Yeah. Well, yeah. But I thought you said she needed a haircut. Or something. To consider it.”
“Yeah, I did. But it’s weird. It’s like the more I get to know her, the hotter she gets. Maybe she’s wearing different makeup or something.”
“Or you know, it could be that the things you’re getting to know about her make her seem even hotter to you.”
Troy pauses, “Whoa. That makes sense. Hey, maybe that’s what happened to Annie.”
“What do you mean?”
“Annie was not hot in high school. But I didn’t know Annie in high school. But now I know her and she’s all hot and everything. So… does that mean she was always hot? But I’m only seeing it now that I know she’s a pretty cool chick?”
Jeff nods slowly, “According to your logic here. Yes.”
“Wow. This is wrinkling my brain. I should tell Abed about this. He could totally use this in one of his movies.”
The bartender sets their drinks in front of them and Troy drifts back towards the table with his beer but Jeff just stares back down at the vodka cranberry sitting in front of him, trying to figure out why suddenly everything seems so muddled.
~*~*~*~
December 2011
Jeff and Britta started meeting out for drinks every Friday night. And sometimes Saturdays. And an occasional Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday.
One morning she just woke up in his bed and it wasn’t altogether unexpected. Neither was the fact that it happened again a week later and then two days after that and then suddenly she had a toothbrush at his place and she started stocking his favorite cereal in her pantry.
There was a steadiness to it that they both appreciated and needed, and they knew each other well enough that they just sort of skipped over all the quirks and novelties of a new relationship (which they both claimed to hate anyway). So when he hogged the covers she had no qualms about stealing them back and then pushing him off the bed and when she tried to get him to go to an art show with her he didn’t think twice before laughing derisively and giving an unequivocal no.
It felt anticlimactic when he reached to hold her hand in the hallway for the first time (and unsurprising when she jerked away at first and then said, “oh, yeah, okay”) and the “Britta and I are dating” conversation was met with a chorus of it’s about time and oh, that’s nice and wait, weren’t you guys already dating?
It didn’t take long before they were just Jeff and Britta - one of those couples that just made sense together, even if sometimes it felt to Jeff like he had discovered some kind of weird narcissistic way to date himself.
~*~*~*~
By 11:30 everyone but Annie, Jeff and Britta has gone to bed and the entire bar has quieted down, leaving only a few scattered patrons watching Sport Center highlights and a couple in the corner, heads bent close to each other over a table.
“Five bucks says that’s his secretary and his wife’s at home putting the kids to bed.”
“Jeff!” Annie smacks his shoulder, “Why do you have to assume the worst?”
“She’s right, you know. Some men are capable of thinking with something other than…” Britta glances towards his lap.
“Hey. I’m just reading the situation. He’s in a hotel bar, on a weeknight, wearing a business suit, he checks his phone under the table every five minutes or so. These things add up to one conclusion.”
“Don’t listen to him Annie. This is coming from the guy that slept with Pierce’s stepdaughter after knowing her for two hours.”
Annie nods seriously, “And that cougar with the collagen lips and the obnoxious kid.”
“Twice.”
Jeff glances back and forth between them in bewilderment. He raises an eyebrow at Britta, “This isn’t looking too good on you right now either you know.”
Her eyes light up in challenge. “Coming from the guy who kissed one of my best friends five minutes after I told him I loved him?”
Jeff chokes, his eyes shooting over to Annie who freezes with her drink halfway to her lips.
“You told her?!” he cried.
Annie sputters then turns to Britta, “I told you not to tell him!”
Britta glances between them and snorts. “I thought it wasn’t a big deal.”
Jeff watches as Annie’s face flushes bright red. “I’m sorry!”
“Annie. Annie.” He shakes his head at her slowly.
“We were drinking! And it just… I don’t know, came out.”
Britta nods, “We were drinking. A lot. She also told me about that other time.”
His mouth drops open, “Oh. Um.”
“Oh god,” Annie moans as she covers her face with her hands.
Jeff stares at the top of her head. His heart is doing something weird in his chest like he’s on the verge of a panic attack and it really has nothing to do with Britta knowing these things because he knows she doesn’t really care, but the thing is - he’s not supposed to care either.
He levels a glare at Britta as she innocently sips her water.
“Doesn’t it feel better to have it all out there?”
Annie lets out another moan and Jeff’s lips turn up into a slow grin.
“Speaking of secrets being revealed. Britta, is there anything you’d like to share with the class? Maybe about someone else in the group that you made out with?”
Britta’s face goes pale and Annie’s hands drop back to the table. She gasps, “Britta, did you?”
“No! No, of course not.”
Annie and Jeff glance and each other and then Annie’s eyes get wide, “Oh please tell me it wasn’t Pierce.”
Britta scrunches up her nose. “No. It wasn’t Pierce.”
“Oh.” Jeff and Annie exchange another mischievous glance. “So it wasn’t Pierce. But it was somebody?”
Britta’s mouth drops open as she realizes what they just got her to admit. “Not fair. That’s not.” She shakes her finger at them and hops off her chair. “You know what? I’m going to my room.”
“Britta.” They both call after her, laughing, but she’s already flounced out the door with a huff.
Annie grabs Jeff’s arm, “So, who is it?”
“I don’t know. It was actually just a hunch I had. It could be any of them.”
“Even Shirley?”
“Less likely. But still a possibility.”
“We have to find out.” Annie seems positively gleeful at this.
“My money’s on Troy.”
“Really?” She tilts her head in thought. “I was going to say Abed.”
“You didn’t hear the conversation I had at the bar earlier.”
“So? Have you ever seen Britta and Abed together?” She thinks about it a little bit and then nods, “They would be adorable.”
They spend the next five minutes arguing over who it’s more likely that Britta locked lips with and which pairing actually makes sense until they realize that it all makes sense and Annie suggests that they make Team Abed and Team Troy shirts to wear to graduation the next day.
~*~*~*~
March 28th 2012
David was snoring softly on the other side of the bed as Annie stared at the ceiling, too amped up on adrenaline to sleep. She finally grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand and typed a quick text message.
“guess what? got that internship I was telling you about”
She pressed send and waited but a few minutes passed, and then a few more and she was about to give up because it was 12:30 in the morning and he was probably sleeping or…
The phone vibrated in her hand, startling from her thoughts, the green glow from the LCD screen illuminating the room.
“Jeff Winger Calling.”
Annie shot another glance toward David as she quietly slipped out from under the sheets and tiptoed across the room, pressing the phone to her ear and whispering a “Hello?” as she stepped into the hallway.
“Hey,” he whispered back.
She couldn’t help the smile that blossomed over her face.
“You didn’t have to call. I just wanted to tell you-”
“No. It’s okay. I was awake. I… Congratulations. That’s amazing.”
“Yeah.” Annie settled herself into a corner of the couch, leaving all the lights off so that the room was lit only by the faint silvery glow of moonlight from the open window.
“So? When do you start? What are you going to be doing exactly? Are they going to be paying you? They should pay you. I’m sure you’ll probably be running the place by the end of your first day.”
Annie ducked her head against the couch.
“Um. Two weeks. I don’t know. Probably getting people coffee or something. And no, it’s not paid. But there are job possibilities after the internship is over.”
“Wow. Look at that. Our Annie, already conquering the world.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that-“
“Oh no. You would. Come on Annie. I know there’s that part of you that’s just ready to burst with self congratulation. Let it out.”
Annie giggled and then erupted, “It is amazing, right? They only choose one student a year and they chose me and the editor told me that they were impressed with my skills, in writing and editing, and I think… I think this could be huge. And I don’t know if it’s exactly what I want to do but it doesn’t really matter right now. Cause Annie Edison, she’s finally going places.”
This last part maybe came out a little too loud and Annie shot a cautionary glance toward the bedroom door but Jeff was laughing.
“That’s my girl.”
Annie flushed and pressed the phone more firmly against her ear. She sank down into the couch a little bit, “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”
“No. I was awake. We got in late.”
Annie nodded but was quiet.
“Did you celebrate?”
“We went to dinner.”
“Well.” She heard something like couch springs creaking, imagined him sprawled out in his apartment, or maybe Britta’s. “When you’re in town again we’ll all take you out. Or. Pierce is really into bartending right now. He could make you what he is calling a “Slippery Orgasm.”
Annie scrunched up her nose, “Ew. No. Seriously?”
“Seriously. Annie, I wouldn’t joke about this. And neither would Pierce. Abed made the mistake of showing him Cocktails and now he’s convinced that he’s Tom Cruise and he’s trying to learn how to sling drinks like a real bartender but he just keeps breaking glasses and ending up with 100 proof vodka all down his pants. He walks around smelling like a distillery all day.”
Annie giggled, “So what’s in a Slippery Orgasm?”
“I don’t even know. Some combination of buttershots and Kahlua and Tabasco sauce, whatever it is, it smells foul. Troy’s the only one that’s been brave enough to try it and he was sick for three days afterward.”
“Well, I’ll remember to stay away from Pierce and his Slippery Orgasms,” she murmured… then realized exactly what she just said. “Ughh.”
Jeff laughed, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you never have to experience one. Alcoholic or not.”
“Ugghh,” she repeated. “This conversation is making me feel ill.”
“That makes two of us.”
They were quiet then for a long stretch and her eyes were starting to flutter closed as she listened to his light breathing on the other side of the phone.
“Annie,” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
“Are you falling asleep?”
“No. Maybe.”
“Go to sleep.”
“M’kay. Jeff?” She roused herself out of the drifting state she was about to fall into.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. For calling.”
“Anytime. And, really, I’m proud of you.”
“I know.”
“Go to sleep.”
“Mmm. Hmm.”
Jeff ended the call and settled back down into the couch with a glance toward the bedroom where Britta was sprawled out across the bed, probably snoring. He thought about the times she sometimes let him slide his hand under her skirt in public places, the joke she told at dinner that made him laugh so hard wine went up his nose, those scattered moments when she relaxed against him with her eyes closed like she could really maybe be happy.
He picked up the remote and flicked on the television, leaned back to watch an episode of Law and Order he had seen a hundred times, tried not to think about the countless times when she still pulled away, or her uncanny ability to cut him off and launch into an hour long diatribe about the injustices of the world when all he wanted to do was ask her advice, or that sometimes this look would flash across her eyes like maybe she was just bored with this entire thing.
PART III
Word Count: 4045
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: Season One
Description: Graduation 2013, complete with flashbacks to the past four years.
Disclaimer: I do not own Community. Community owns me.
Author’s Note: Fic Exchange Gift for rashaka (Prompt: kissing, non-age related angst, someone supporting Jeff/Annie, Bonus: almost caught on campus) Err… change “on campus” to “in hotel room” and it’s all there.
PART I
Part II
home is wherever I’m with you
~*~*~*~
A long hot shower, a change of clothes and a nap have helped ease Jeff from his post-road trip funk and he leans back in his seat feeling relaxed and easy. The ice in his scotch clinks together as he tilts his glass this way and that way before taking a sip, enjoying the taste on his tongue, the warm burn as it slides down his throat.
He looks at Abed across the bar-height table they've claimed in the corner, watches him scribble furiously into a notepad. “What are you doing?”
“Taking notes.” He looks up. “I admit. I’m a little confused. I’m not sure how this is going to play out. See, Jeff, finales are tricky. They very rarely reach the high expectations of the audience and they’re so often ruined by cliché moments of sentimentality or disappointing answers to mythological questions.”
Jeff nods. He’s used to this by now, to playing along, to maybe getting swept up in Abed’s surreal cinematic take on life. “And what mythological questions need to be answered in our world?”
Abed pauses, “Exactly. There are no unanswered questions. There’s no last minute obstacle that needs to be cleared. And the focal couple of the series have already resolved their sexual tension and realized they’re better off as friends. I’m not sure what else can happen. Unless you think we’ve all actually died and this is just some kind of middle afterlife we’ve dreamed up so we can be together again.”
“Yeaaahhh, I’m going to go with no on that one.”
Britta plops down at the table with her drink. “Jeff. I’m surprised to see you here. There’s a table over there of barely legal wannabe skanks who have been giving you the eye all night long. How have you not already gotten on that?” She tilts her head, “Lost your game old man?”
Jeff doesn’t even need to look over to see what she’s talking about. The girls in question had caught his eye earlier and while he can appreciate some of what they are throwing down, their proclivity for shrieking every time a Lady Gaga song plays on the jukebox borders on headache inducing. But he’s not about to admit this to Britta. He takes a sip of his scotch, peering over the glass toward the bar where Shirley and Annie are huddled close together whispering.
“I’m biding my time. Drop a few winks here, a couple nods there and pretty soon they’ll be eating out of the palm of my hand.” He leers at Britta suggestively.
“Uggh. You’re gross, you know that?”
“Don’t deny your feelings Britta. You know you want another-” He’s cut off as she claps her hand over his mouth.
“Please don’t say anything that’s going me make me want to throw my drink in your face.”
“Jeff and Britta pretend to be mildly repulsed by each other but really they are both lost in the overwhelming emotion of how they are going to miss this back and forth, this unlikely friendship that started-”
“Abed!”
“Sorry.”
~*~*~*~
November 2011
Annie brought David with her when she came home for Thanksgiving and they all got together at Shirley’s that Saturday to meet him and find out if he was as “sweet” as she had been claiming for the past few months.
He was tall and wiry and seemed a little shy at first surrounded by these people who were loud and opinionated and half-crazy but pretty soon he was talking with Abed about his sister who was in film school at USC and arguing with Troy about which BCS conference had the best chance at the championship Bowl Game that year. At some point he made an off-handed comment about a summer he spent building orphanages in Haiti with some church group and both Britta and Shirley seemed to visibly melt and suddenly David was the honorary eighth member of their group.
Pierce seemed to be the only real holdout and he muttered to Jeff as they were standing in the doorway of the kitchen, “We already have enough men in this group.”
“Well Pierce, maybe next time Annie will bring home a girl for you.
As soon the words left his mouth he regretted it and Pierce’s eyebrows waggled suggestively. “College is a time of experimentation. Isn’t that right Britta?” He called out the last part loudly.
Britta didn’t even look up, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, but the answer is no.”
Jeff took a pull of his beer and watched Annie as she moved across the room and sat next to David. They turned toward each other, talking quietly as she smiled and reached up to curl her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Something made him laugh loudly and his hand came up to rest on her knee. For a moment it seemed that they were both completely oblivious to anything else in the room.
And later (not that it really mattered because it was enough that she was really, authentically happy) Jeff ended up standing near him in the living room as David talked about how he was thinking about going into law and Jeff actually kind of liked this guy and he wasn’t sure why he was so surprised.
When he hugged Annie as she was leaving and whispered, “He is a good guy, definitely not a douchebag,” he really truly meant it.
~*~*~*~
Annie giggles, leaning into his arm. Jeff looks down at her with a smile. “Oh laugh it up. Remind me again, who was it that slammed my head into a table? Twice?”
She winces and reaches up to feather her fingers across his temple. “I apologized for that!”
“I had a headache for three days.”
“That was pretty scary,” Troy says with wide eyes. Then he stops, thinks about it. “But also weirdly hot.”
“Why is it that when a woman asserts her power in any way, it’s always misconstrued as being of a sexual nature?” Britta breaks in.
Troy turns toward her, “Britta, I’m not even sure exactly what you just said, but I’m pretty sure it was the opposite of cool. Why can’t something just be hot because it’s hot?”
Britta looks confused as she tries to follow his logic. Jeff snorts, “Well, speaking as the person whose head was smashed into the table, it was not hot. It just hurt like hell.” He glares at Annie again.
“Jeff, I was just trying to assert my badassness.”
“Well, badassness asserted. Please don’t use my face to do it next time.”
Troy snorts, “Now that’s what she said.”
Everyone stares at him, except Britta who laughs. “That kind of works actually.” A split second later she looks around the table, mortified, “Oh God. Please don’t tell Pierce.”
Troy’s still laughing to himself, “I’ve got to hand it to him, that joke is still funny.”
“Where is Pierce?” Annie asks as she scans the bar.
“I think he went to bed a while ago.” Jeff stops. “Actually, his words were, ‘The female moans of pleasure you hear tonight coming down the hall will be from my room…. But. I’m pretty sure that’s Pierce Code for I’m tired and I’m going to catch an episode of Murder She Wrote before turning in.”
Annie laughs but then someone at the table next to them suddenly bumps into her from behind and her drink goes splashing across the table. On either side, Troy and Jeff reach out to hold her steady and then turn to face the culprit.
“Oh man, I am so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you okay?”
She turns around and finds herself looking up at a guy that is all chiseled jaw and blue eyes. His shaggy blonde hair falls across his forehead as he smiles down at her.
“Oh. Um. I’m fine.”
He glances down and then back up, eyes trailing over her body. “You’ve got that right.”
Annie’s smile falters and her eyes widen a little. Britta lets out a derisive snort.
Chiseled Jaw looks at Annie’s drink which is now dripping onto the floor in a puddle. “I guess that’s my fault. How ‘bout I buy you another one over at the bar? He glances down again but this time his eyes don’t make it any further than the neckline of her shirt.
“No thank you?” Annie grimaces then instinctively leans back toward Jeff who takes his cue and throws his arm around her shoulder.
“Babe. I’m going to the bar, you want anything?”
She gazes up at him with an exaggerated look of schmoopiness, “Thanks babe. My usual?”
“You got it.”
He squeezes her shoulder and casts a warning stare toward the guy as he skirts past him toward the bar.
Chiseled Jaw looks confused for a second, then casts his sights on Britta.
“Hey gorgeous.”
She rolls her eyes and turns her back on him. “Yeah right.”
Jeff leans over the bar to get the bartender’s attention. “Scotch and a Ketel Cranberry. Thanks.”
“And a beer.” Troy calls out as he joins him.
They both look back at the table where Annie and Britta are actively ignoring Chiseled Jaw as they lean across the table and giggle. He looks momentarily annoyed and then heads over to the group of barely legal girls who all giggle at the sight of his approach.
“You guys are weirdly good at that.”
“What?”
“You and Annie. That fake boyfriend girlfriend thing you do. It’s weird.”
Jeff shrugs, “Is it? It’s not like we do it all the time.”
“That’s why it’s weird.”
Jeff looks at him, “What?”
Troy stares back, “What?”
“Nothing.”
People are being weird today. Jeff feels confused. “I think you’ve been hanging out with Britta too much.”
Troy turns to him with wide eyes, “Why? What did you hear?”
And now he’s even more confused. “What?”
“Nothing,” Troy says slowly, pulling back to look at Jeff through narrowed eyes.
They stare at each other until Troy’s gaze shifts away. “She’s kinda hot right?”
“Annie?”
“Britta.”
“Oh.” Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. Maybe he’s already had enough to drink today. “Yeah. Well, yeah. But I thought you said she needed a haircut. Or something. To consider it.”
“Yeah, I did. But it’s weird. It’s like the more I get to know her, the hotter she gets. Maybe she’s wearing different makeup or something.”
“Or you know, it could be that the things you’re getting to know about her make her seem even hotter to you.”
Troy pauses, “Whoa. That makes sense. Hey, maybe that’s what happened to Annie.”
“What do you mean?”
“Annie was not hot in high school. But I didn’t know Annie in high school. But now I know her and she’s all hot and everything. So… does that mean she was always hot? But I’m only seeing it now that I know she’s a pretty cool chick?”
Jeff nods slowly, “According to your logic here. Yes.”
“Wow. This is wrinkling my brain. I should tell Abed about this. He could totally use this in one of his movies.”
The bartender sets their drinks in front of them and Troy drifts back towards the table with his beer but Jeff just stares back down at the vodka cranberry sitting in front of him, trying to figure out why suddenly everything seems so muddled.
~*~*~*~
December 2011
Jeff and Britta started meeting out for drinks every Friday night. And sometimes Saturdays. And an occasional Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday.
One morning she just woke up in his bed and it wasn’t altogether unexpected. Neither was the fact that it happened again a week later and then two days after that and then suddenly she had a toothbrush at his place and she started stocking his favorite cereal in her pantry.
There was a steadiness to it that they both appreciated and needed, and they knew each other well enough that they just sort of skipped over all the quirks and novelties of a new relationship (which they both claimed to hate anyway). So when he hogged the covers she had no qualms about stealing them back and then pushing him off the bed and when she tried to get him to go to an art show with her he didn’t think twice before laughing derisively and giving an unequivocal no.
It felt anticlimactic when he reached to hold her hand in the hallway for the first time (and unsurprising when she jerked away at first and then said, “oh, yeah, okay”) and the “Britta and I are dating” conversation was met with a chorus of it’s about time and oh, that’s nice and wait, weren’t you guys already dating?
It didn’t take long before they were just Jeff and Britta - one of those couples that just made sense together, even if sometimes it felt to Jeff like he had discovered some kind of weird narcissistic way to date himself.
~*~*~*~
By 11:30 everyone but Annie, Jeff and Britta has gone to bed and the entire bar has quieted down, leaving only a few scattered patrons watching Sport Center highlights and a couple in the corner, heads bent close to each other over a table.
“Five bucks says that’s his secretary and his wife’s at home putting the kids to bed.”
“Jeff!” Annie smacks his shoulder, “Why do you have to assume the worst?”
“She’s right, you know. Some men are capable of thinking with something other than…” Britta glances towards his lap.
“Hey. I’m just reading the situation. He’s in a hotel bar, on a weeknight, wearing a business suit, he checks his phone under the table every five minutes or so. These things add up to one conclusion.”
“Don’t listen to him Annie. This is coming from the guy that slept with Pierce’s stepdaughter after knowing her for two hours.”
Annie nods seriously, “And that cougar with the collagen lips and the obnoxious kid.”
“Twice.”
Jeff glances back and forth between them in bewilderment. He raises an eyebrow at Britta, “This isn’t looking too good on you right now either you know.”
Her eyes light up in challenge. “Coming from the guy who kissed one of my best friends five minutes after I told him I loved him?”
Jeff chokes, his eyes shooting over to Annie who freezes with her drink halfway to her lips.
“You told her?!” he cried.
Annie sputters then turns to Britta, “I told you not to tell him!”
Britta glances between them and snorts. “I thought it wasn’t a big deal.”
Jeff watches as Annie’s face flushes bright red. “I’m sorry!”
“Annie. Annie.” He shakes his head at her slowly.
“We were drinking! And it just… I don’t know, came out.”
Britta nods, “We were drinking. A lot. She also told me about that other time.”
His mouth drops open, “Oh. Um.”
“Oh god,” Annie moans as she covers her face with her hands.
Jeff stares at the top of her head. His heart is doing something weird in his chest like he’s on the verge of a panic attack and it really has nothing to do with Britta knowing these things because he knows she doesn’t really care, but the thing is - he’s not supposed to care either.
He levels a glare at Britta as she innocently sips her water.
“Doesn’t it feel better to have it all out there?”
Annie lets out another moan and Jeff’s lips turn up into a slow grin.
“Speaking of secrets being revealed. Britta, is there anything you’d like to share with the class? Maybe about someone else in the group that you made out with?”
Britta’s face goes pale and Annie’s hands drop back to the table. She gasps, “Britta, did you?”
“No! No, of course not.”
Annie and Jeff glance and each other and then Annie’s eyes get wide, “Oh please tell me it wasn’t Pierce.”
Britta scrunches up her nose. “No. It wasn’t Pierce.”
“Oh.” Jeff and Annie exchange another mischievous glance. “So it wasn’t Pierce. But it was somebody?”
Britta’s mouth drops open as she realizes what they just got her to admit. “Not fair. That’s not.” She shakes her finger at them and hops off her chair. “You know what? I’m going to my room.”
“Britta.” They both call after her, laughing, but she’s already flounced out the door with a huff.
Annie grabs Jeff’s arm, “So, who is it?”
“I don’t know. It was actually just a hunch I had. It could be any of them.”
“Even Shirley?”
“Less likely. But still a possibility.”
“We have to find out.” Annie seems positively gleeful at this.
“My money’s on Troy.”
“Really?” She tilts her head in thought. “I was going to say Abed.”
“You didn’t hear the conversation I had at the bar earlier.”
“So? Have you ever seen Britta and Abed together?” She thinks about it a little bit and then nods, “They would be adorable.”
They spend the next five minutes arguing over who it’s more likely that Britta locked lips with and which pairing actually makes sense until they realize that it all makes sense and Annie suggests that they make Team Abed and Team Troy shirts to wear to graduation the next day.
~*~*~*~
March 28th 2012
David was snoring softly on the other side of the bed as Annie stared at the ceiling, too amped up on adrenaline to sleep. She finally grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand and typed a quick text message.
“guess what? got that internship I was telling you about”
She pressed send and waited but a few minutes passed, and then a few more and she was about to give up because it was 12:30 in the morning and he was probably sleeping or…
The phone vibrated in her hand, startling from her thoughts, the green glow from the LCD screen illuminating the room.
“Jeff Winger Calling.”
Annie shot another glance toward David as she quietly slipped out from under the sheets and tiptoed across the room, pressing the phone to her ear and whispering a “Hello?” as she stepped into the hallway.
“Hey,” he whispered back.
She couldn’t help the smile that blossomed over her face.
“You didn’t have to call. I just wanted to tell you-”
“No. It’s okay. I was awake. I… Congratulations. That’s amazing.”
“Yeah.” Annie settled herself into a corner of the couch, leaving all the lights off so that the room was lit only by the faint silvery glow of moonlight from the open window.
“So? When do you start? What are you going to be doing exactly? Are they going to be paying you? They should pay you. I’m sure you’ll probably be running the place by the end of your first day.”
Annie ducked her head against the couch.
“Um. Two weeks. I don’t know. Probably getting people coffee or something. And no, it’s not paid. But there are job possibilities after the internship is over.”
“Wow. Look at that. Our Annie, already conquering the world.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that-“
“Oh no. You would. Come on Annie. I know there’s that part of you that’s just ready to burst with self congratulation. Let it out.”
Annie giggled and then erupted, “It is amazing, right? They only choose one student a year and they chose me and the editor told me that they were impressed with my skills, in writing and editing, and I think… I think this could be huge. And I don’t know if it’s exactly what I want to do but it doesn’t really matter right now. Cause Annie Edison, she’s finally going places.”
This last part maybe came out a little too loud and Annie shot a cautionary glance toward the bedroom door but Jeff was laughing.
“That’s my girl.”
Annie flushed and pressed the phone more firmly against her ear. She sank down into the couch a little bit, “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”
“No. I was awake. We got in late.”
Annie nodded but was quiet.
“Did you celebrate?”
“We went to dinner.”
“Well.” She heard something like couch springs creaking, imagined him sprawled out in his apartment, or maybe Britta’s. “When you’re in town again we’ll all take you out. Or. Pierce is really into bartending right now. He could make you what he is calling a “Slippery Orgasm.”
Annie scrunched up her nose, “Ew. No. Seriously?”
“Seriously. Annie, I wouldn’t joke about this. And neither would Pierce. Abed made the mistake of showing him Cocktails and now he’s convinced that he’s Tom Cruise and he’s trying to learn how to sling drinks like a real bartender but he just keeps breaking glasses and ending up with 100 proof vodka all down his pants. He walks around smelling like a distillery all day.”
Annie giggled, “So what’s in a Slippery Orgasm?”
“I don’t even know. Some combination of buttershots and Kahlua and Tabasco sauce, whatever it is, it smells foul. Troy’s the only one that’s been brave enough to try it and he was sick for three days afterward.”
“Well, I’ll remember to stay away from Pierce and his Slippery Orgasms,” she murmured… then realized exactly what she just said. “Ughh.”
Jeff laughed, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you never have to experience one. Alcoholic or not.”
“Ugghh,” she repeated. “This conversation is making me feel ill.”
“That makes two of us.”
They were quiet then for a long stretch and her eyes were starting to flutter closed as she listened to his light breathing on the other side of the phone.
“Annie,” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
“Are you falling asleep?”
“No. Maybe.”
“Go to sleep.”
“M’kay. Jeff?” She roused herself out of the drifting state she was about to fall into.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. For calling.”
“Anytime. And, really, I’m proud of you.”
“I know.”
“Go to sleep.”
“Mmm. Hmm.”
Jeff ended the call and settled back down into the couch with a glance toward the bedroom where Britta was sprawled out across the bed, probably snoring. He thought about the times she sometimes let him slide his hand under her skirt in public places, the joke she told at dinner that made him laugh so hard wine went up his nose, those scattered moments when she relaxed against him with her eyes closed like she could really maybe be happy.
He picked up the remote and flicked on the television, leaned back to watch an episode of Law and Order he had seen a hundred times, tried not to think about the countless times when she still pulled away, or her uncanny ability to cut him off and launch into an hour long diatribe about the injustices of the world when all he wanted to do was ask her advice, or that sometimes this look would flash across her eyes like maybe she was just bored with this entire thing.
PART III