Discretion (3/?)
Pairing: Annie/Jeff
Spoilers: Through 2.03
Word Count: 1993
Rating: PG-13 for language
Disclaimer: I do not own Community.
Description: Missing moment for The Psychology of Letting Go
Author's Note: As always, a million thanks to 0penhearts for the beta, encouragement and general awesomeness.
Previous Chapters
III: Humanity
“This is no God.”
Jeff makes his way across campus, fists clenched at his sides, his entire body numb with anger and this little nagging something that makes him want to lean over into the bushes and throw up.
Fear? Pshhhh. Yeah, right. Jeff Winger is not a pussy. Jeff Winger does not DO fear.
No, no, this is the realization that everything is wrong. Every conviction and belief, every principal of self-government that he’s prided himself on his entire life - is wrong. It’s ALL wrong.
Shit, what’s the point of any of this?
“Save the pelicans?”
He freezes mid-step and pivots slowly in the direction of the fluttery, familiar voice. Annie’s only a few feet away in front of the ridiculously elaborate “Save the Gulf” display. She’s standing close to some guy Jeff’s never seen, her hand resting lightly above his elbow.
Jeff scowls and stomps over.
When he reaches Britta he grabs one of the fliers out of her hand and waves it around.
“Save the pelicans? Why bother? They’re all going to die eventually anyway. Just. Like. Us.”
Britta scowls and tries to wrench the flier out of his grasp. They grapple with it for a moment until it rips in half. “Ugh. What is your deal?” She smacks him in the chest with her half.
“My deal? My deal, Britta, is that you spend all this time and effort screaming at people about things that no one else cares about. Or cares enough about to give up precious time and money, when they could be frittering it all away on frappaccinos and hours on the couch watching American Idol. What’s the point huh? What’s. The. Point? Nothing’s ever going to change. And in the end, we’re all DEAD.”
As he talks he slowly rips up what’s left of the flier into little pieces that fall scattered around their feet.
Britta’s lips purse and twitch in that way that means she’s winding up for a good and long Jeff Winger you are a complete tool sermon of self-righteousness when Annie giggles again. They both turn as one, identical looks of annoyance coloring their features.
Annie, oblivious to Jeff’s meltdown and obvious pain and suffering is still smiling up at the nameless random idiot that’s drooling over her like an un-neutered puppy.
“It’s just so sad,” she’s saying. “All those animals covered in oil? They’re so helpless. The pictures make me want to cry.”
The guy nods intently, “Oh yeah, me too.”
Annie beams up at him.
Jeff snorts, “Seriously? Have some dignity man.”
Annie looks over, startled. “What?”
Beside him, Britta makes a scoffing, high-pitched laugh. “Dignity? Please.” She holds out her hands. “Pot, meet Kettle. Kettle, meet Pot. Oh hi Pot, I’m a self-absorbed douchebag, how about you?”
Jeff dismisses whatever the hell kind of point she’s trying to make with a wave of his hand and zeroes in on Annie, who has actually resumed talking about fluffy-wuffy pelican babies and fluttering her eyes and DOESN’T SHE REALIZE HE IS HAVING A CRISIS HERE?
Jeff actually feels all the blood rushing to his head like he’s about to have some kind of mini stroke or something.
Screw the pelicans.
“The cute ones are probably going to die first,” he blurts out.
And it must come out louder than he intends because everyone in the general vicinity sort of stops and stares. Annie’s mouth drops open. Behind him Jeff can practically hear Britta convulsing with some combination of rage and semi-maniacal glee at Jeff once again making a spectacle of himself.
“Jeff, what’s going on?” Annie says slowly.
Random Idiot glances between them, takes note of the look on Jeff’s face and quietly inches away.
For a brief moment Jeff has a flickering sense of I’m officially a crazy person realization. No longer the suave, silver-tongued lawyer, he’s now been reduced to that guy that screams at wide-eyed teenagers in the middle of a community college campus for no reason other than the fact that he’s getting older by the day and NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN STOP THAT and… okay, yeah, there’s the crazy again.
“Oh nothing,” he snarls. “Absolutely nothing. Which is all any of this is ever going to amount to.”
“Okay? You’re not making a lot of sense right now.” She inches toward him like she’s going to rest her hand on his arm but Jeff shrugs out of her reach.
“Sense? You know what doesn’t make sense? If I don’t eat bacon, I might still have a heart attack. If I don’t drive drunk I might still get in a car accident. And if I don’t like flying I can avoid planes. But nothing’s stopping a plane from falling out of the sky and ONTO MY HOUSE.”
Annie’s eyes widen.
Britta snorts, “Oh, it’s always about you isn’t it? THAT’S what’s wrong with this country! We’re so self-absorbed with our own immortality that we’re blinded to the destruction we’re reigning down on this planet!” Her last few words get shouted in the direction of nearby passersby who shoot her looks of mild annoyance.
Annie and Jeff ignore her
“Jeff, seriously?”
He clenches his jaw, inhaling loudly through his nose, “I got the results of my blood test.”
Annie’s lips part in a silent gasp. She moves closer and finally manages to grab hold of his sleeve. “What is it?” she asks quietly, her eyes searching his face frantically.
“I have high cholesterol,” he relents.
She continues to stare at him as if she’s waiting for more. When he doesn’t say anything her lips quirk up into an amused grin. “Is that it? Jeff, it’s not that big a deal! You scared me!” Her hand presses to her chest as she lets out a deep breath. “You can take medication for that.” And then she laughs reassuringly and pats his arm.
She’s laughing? She thinks this is funny? How can she think this is funny?
“Awww. Did poor Jeff finally realize that he’s not a perfect human specimen?” Britta’s fake pouty voice cuts into his thoughts and he tries to level her with a glare that she only returns with a roll of her eyes.
Annie continues, “You know, my dad has high cholesterol. It’s not-” The words die in her throat as Jeff whips his head back around to stare at her incredulously.
“What?!”
She shakes her head in confusion and then maybe a little bit of fear as his face goes red.
“Fuuuuuu….” Jeff makes a strangled noise and pushes past her, muttering obscenities under his breath as he stalks back in the direction of the cafeteria.
~*~
He’s feels more relaxed than he’s been in long while as he makes his way to the parking lot, having left Pierce and Troy bouncing off the walls of the library in an ice cream-induced sugar rush. Across the quad he sees Annie and Brita emerging from the gym. They both have loose, damp hair and Britta is wearing a pair of sweatpants and what looks to be Troy’s football jersey half hanging off her shoulder. The two women hug before parting ways.
Jeff smiles lightly as Annie walks in his direction. She’s wearing Abed’s Boondocks shirt and a pair of red jersey shorts that hang down below her knees. When she catches Jeff’s eye she sighs and looks down at her completely un-Annie-like ensemble.
“I look ridiculous.”
“Nah.” Jeff shrugs because no, she does not look ridiculous and anything else he would normally (if this were any other woman) say would be entirely inappropriate.
There’s a brief mental gymnastics routine in his head as he fights back an utterly irrational jealousy of Abed and an image of Annie in a button-down dress shirt (his dress shirt) while simultaneously perusing his endless arsenal of snarky one-liners.
“Looks like the rescue workers got all the oil out of your little duckling feathers.” He flicks at her hair and grins.
Cue mental pat on the back. Well done Winger.
Annie’s smile falters and she stares blankly up at him.
Crap.
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I know. The oil spill is no laughing matter. Who do I make the check payable to?”
Nope. Still the wrong thing to say. Annie’s expression darkens as she steps in closer.
“What is wrong with you?” she hisses.
“Uhh. Well, sometimes I can be too awesome.” He gives her his best default charming smile - raised eyebrow, crooked grin.
Annie’s eyes narrow as she searches his face for something.
Apparently she doesn’t find it because she just frowns and shakes her head. “You’re a jerk,” she mutters and turns away.
Okay, honestly. He doesn’t care. He’s a jerk. It’s true. (Actually, he’d probably even use a stronger word here but it’s Annie so yeah, “jerk” works). But here’s the thing, if he’s going to have people thinking that and calling him names to his face, he at least wants to have some idea of what he actually did.
Against his better judgment he jogs after her.
“Hey, wait.”
She doesn’t slow down but looks sideways at him as he catches up.
“Annie, I-”
“Were you really going to take Pierce to the morgue?”
“What?” THAT’S what she’s actually upset about right now?
She stops and widens her eyes pointedly in a clear expression of “DUH.”
That look. Dammit.
“Yeeeeees. But.” He holds up a finger for emphasis. “Intent without action is not a crime.”
Annie looks appropriately disgusted. “Jeff, I’m not some random member of the jury that you can just… verbally seduce into submission.”
His eyebrows fly up into his hairline.
“You think I’m seducing you?” And okay, there’s maybe a little bit of a believe me babe, if Jeff Winger is seducing you, you’d know it behind his words.
Christ.
“I’m. No! Jeff. NO!” She splutters. “Not like that.”
He laughs (mainly for his own benefit because he needs to not stare at the way her blush is spreading down her neck). “Whatever. You’re the last person who should be lecturing me on, what was the word you used again? Seducing people for personal gain.”
She freezes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Hey,” he shrugs. “I may know how to verbally beat a jury panel into submission. But you’re guilty of pretty much the exact same thing. You just have a different MO. How much money did you make today just by throwing out a few well placed smiles and hair flips?”
Annie’s face crumples almost immediately and it’s like a punch to the gut that leaves him winded.
“Hey, it’s not a bad thing, I-”
“Britta’s right,” she murmurs.
“Well that’s a sentence that should never be repeated. And also, what?”
She’s nodding to herself, staring fixedly at a spot on his shirt. “I manipulate people. I do. I’m one of those girls.” Her nose scrunches up like it’s a dirty word that leaves a foul taste in her mouth.
Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. Trying to keep up with the train of this conversation is making his head spin. This girl is exhausting.
“Look. Annie, you know what you want. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“And if people get hurt?”
“Then people get hurt! It happens!”
She’s frowning at him, disapproval written all over her face.
“Hey,” he points at her accusingly, “You come to the guy with a broken moral compass, you’re gonna have to deal with getting advice that doesn’t exactly point due north toward pure honorability.”
“You don’t have to be like that you know.”
He shakes his head smugly, “Don’t be so sure. I can’t always be the image of me that you have in your head.”
Annie looks up in surprise, her shoulders slumping a bit. “You’re right.” The look in her eyes remains dark though, determined. “And neither can I.”
She turns and walks away. This time Jeff doesn’t follow.
Spoilers: Through 2.03
Word Count: 1993
Rating: PG-13 for language
Disclaimer: I do not own Community.
Description: Missing moment for The Psychology of Letting Go
Author's Note: As always, a million thanks to 0penhearts for the beta, encouragement and general awesomeness.
Previous Chapters
III: Humanity
“This is no God.”
Jeff makes his way across campus, fists clenched at his sides, his entire body numb with anger and this little nagging something that makes him want to lean over into the bushes and throw up.
Fear? Pshhhh. Yeah, right. Jeff Winger is not a pussy. Jeff Winger does not DO fear.
No, no, this is the realization that everything is wrong. Every conviction and belief, every principal of self-government that he’s prided himself on his entire life - is wrong. It’s ALL wrong.
Shit, what’s the point of any of this?
“Save the pelicans?”
He freezes mid-step and pivots slowly in the direction of the fluttery, familiar voice. Annie’s only a few feet away in front of the ridiculously elaborate “Save the Gulf” display. She’s standing close to some guy Jeff’s never seen, her hand resting lightly above his elbow.
Jeff scowls and stomps over.
When he reaches Britta he grabs one of the fliers out of her hand and waves it around.
“Save the pelicans? Why bother? They’re all going to die eventually anyway. Just. Like. Us.”
Britta scowls and tries to wrench the flier out of his grasp. They grapple with it for a moment until it rips in half. “Ugh. What is your deal?” She smacks him in the chest with her half.
“My deal? My deal, Britta, is that you spend all this time and effort screaming at people about things that no one else cares about. Or cares enough about to give up precious time and money, when they could be frittering it all away on frappaccinos and hours on the couch watching American Idol. What’s the point huh? What’s. The. Point? Nothing’s ever going to change. And in the end, we’re all DEAD.”
As he talks he slowly rips up what’s left of the flier into little pieces that fall scattered around their feet.
Britta’s lips purse and twitch in that way that means she’s winding up for a good and long Jeff Winger you are a complete tool sermon of self-righteousness when Annie giggles again. They both turn as one, identical looks of annoyance coloring their features.
Annie, oblivious to Jeff’s meltdown and obvious pain and suffering is still smiling up at the nameless random idiot that’s drooling over her like an un-neutered puppy.
“It’s just so sad,” she’s saying. “All those animals covered in oil? They’re so helpless. The pictures make me want to cry.”
The guy nods intently, “Oh yeah, me too.”
Annie beams up at him.
Jeff snorts, “Seriously? Have some dignity man.”
Annie looks over, startled. “What?”
Beside him, Britta makes a scoffing, high-pitched laugh. “Dignity? Please.” She holds out her hands. “Pot, meet Kettle. Kettle, meet Pot. Oh hi Pot, I’m a self-absorbed douchebag, how about you?”
Jeff dismisses whatever the hell kind of point she’s trying to make with a wave of his hand and zeroes in on Annie, who has actually resumed talking about fluffy-wuffy pelican babies and fluttering her eyes and DOESN’T SHE REALIZE HE IS HAVING A CRISIS HERE?
Jeff actually feels all the blood rushing to his head like he’s about to have some kind of mini stroke or something.
Screw the pelicans.
“The cute ones are probably going to die first,” he blurts out.
And it must come out louder than he intends because everyone in the general vicinity sort of stops and stares. Annie’s mouth drops open. Behind him Jeff can practically hear Britta convulsing with some combination of rage and semi-maniacal glee at Jeff once again making a spectacle of himself.
“Jeff, what’s going on?” Annie says slowly.
Random Idiot glances between them, takes note of the look on Jeff’s face and quietly inches away.
For a brief moment Jeff has a flickering sense of I’m officially a crazy person realization. No longer the suave, silver-tongued lawyer, he’s now been reduced to that guy that screams at wide-eyed teenagers in the middle of a community college campus for no reason other than the fact that he’s getting older by the day and NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN STOP THAT and… okay, yeah, there’s the crazy again.
“Oh nothing,” he snarls. “Absolutely nothing. Which is all any of this is ever going to amount to.”
“Okay? You’re not making a lot of sense right now.” She inches toward him like she’s going to rest her hand on his arm but Jeff shrugs out of her reach.
“Sense? You know what doesn’t make sense? If I don’t eat bacon, I might still have a heart attack. If I don’t drive drunk I might still get in a car accident. And if I don’t like flying I can avoid planes. But nothing’s stopping a plane from falling out of the sky and ONTO MY HOUSE.”
Annie’s eyes widen.
Britta snorts, “Oh, it’s always about you isn’t it? THAT’S what’s wrong with this country! We’re so self-absorbed with our own immortality that we’re blinded to the destruction we’re reigning down on this planet!” Her last few words get shouted in the direction of nearby passersby who shoot her looks of mild annoyance.
Annie and Jeff ignore her
“Jeff, seriously?”
He clenches his jaw, inhaling loudly through his nose, “I got the results of my blood test.”
Annie’s lips part in a silent gasp. She moves closer and finally manages to grab hold of his sleeve. “What is it?” she asks quietly, her eyes searching his face frantically.
“I have high cholesterol,” he relents.
She continues to stare at him as if she’s waiting for more. When he doesn’t say anything her lips quirk up into an amused grin. “Is that it? Jeff, it’s not that big a deal! You scared me!” Her hand presses to her chest as she lets out a deep breath. “You can take medication for that.” And then she laughs reassuringly and pats his arm.
She’s laughing? She thinks this is funny? How can she think this is funny?
“Awww. Did poor Jeff finally realize that he’s not a perfect human specimen?” Britta’s fake pouty voice cuts into his thoughts and he tries to level her with a glare that she only returns with a roll of her eyes.
Annie continues, “You know, my dad has high cholesterol. It’s not-” The words die in her throat as Jeff whips his head back around to stare at her incredulously.
“What?!”
She shakes her head in confusion and then maybe a little bit of fear as his face goes red.
“Fuuuuuu….” Jeff makes a strangled noise and pushes past her, muttering obscenities under his breath as he stalks back in the direction of the cafeteria.
~*~
He’s feels more relaxed than he’s been in long while as he makes his way to the parking lot, having left Pierce and Troy bouncing off the walls of the library in an ice cream-induced sugar rush. Across the quad he sees Annie and Brita emerging from the gym. They both have loose, damp hair and Britta is wearing a pair of sweatpants and what looks to be Troy’s football jersey half hanging off her shoulder. The two women hug before parting ways.
Jeff smiles lightly as Annie walks in his direction. She’s wearing Abed’s Boondocks shirt and a pair of red jersey shorts that hang down below her knees. When she catches Jeff’s eye she sighs and looks down at her completely un-Annie-like ensemble.
“I look ridiculous.”
“Nah.” Jeff shrugs because no, she does not look ridiculous and anything else he would normally (if this were any other woman) say would be entirely inappropriate.
There’s a brief mental gymnastics routine in his head as he fights back an utterly irrational jealousy of Abed and an image of Annie in a button-down dress shirt (his dress shirt) while simultaneously perusing his endless arsenal of snarky one-liners.
“Looks like the rescue workers got all the oil out of your little duckling feathers.” He flicks at her hair and grins.
Cue mental pat on the back. Well done Winger.
Annie’s smile falters and she stares blankly up at him.
Crap.
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I know. The oil spill is no laughing matter. Who do I make the check payable to?”
Nope. Still the wrong thing to say. Annie’s expression darkens as she steps in closer.
“What is wrong with you?” she hisses.
“Uhh. Well, sometimes I can be too awesome.” He gives her his best default charming smile - raised eyebrow, crooked grin.
Annie’s eyes narrow as she searches his face for something.
Apparently she doesn’t find it because she just frowns and shakes her head. “You’re a jerk,” she mutters and turns away.
Okay, honestly. He doesn’t care. He’s a jerk. It’s true. (Actually, he’d probably even use a stronger word here but it’s Annie so yeah, “jerk” works). But here’s the thing, if he’s going to have people thinking that and calling him names to his face, he at least wants to have some idea of what he actually did.
Against his better judgment he jogs after her.
“Hey, wait.”
She doesn’t slow down but looks sideways at him as he catches up.
“Annie, I-”
“Were you really going to take Pierce to the morgue?”
“What?” THAT’S what she’s actually upset about right now?
She stops and widens her eyes pointedly in a clear expression of “DUH.”
That look. Dammit.
“Yeeeeees. But.” He holds up a finger for emphasis. “Intent without action is not a crime.”
Annie looks appropriately disgusted. “Jeff, I’m not some random member of the jury that you can just… verbally seduce into submission.”
His eyebrows fly up into his hairline.
“You think I’m seducing you?” And okay, there’s maybe a little bit of a believe me babe, if Jeff Winger is seducing you, you’d know it behind his words.
Christ.
“I’m. No! Jeff. NO!” She splutters. “Not like that.”
He laughs (mainly for his own benefit because he needs to not stare at the way her blush is spreading down her neck). “Whatever. You’re the last person who should be lecturing me on, what was the word you used again? Seducing people for personal gain.”
She freezes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Hey,” he shrugs. “I may know how to verbally beat a jury panel into submission. But you’re guilty of pretty much the exact same thing. You just have a different MO. How much money did you make today just by throwing out a few well placed smiles and hair flips?”
Annie’s face crumples almost immediately and it’s like a punch to the gut that leaves him winded.
“Hey, it’s not a bad thing, I-”
“Britta’s right,” she murmurs.
“Well that’s a sentence that should never be repeated. And also, what?”
She’s nodding to herself, staring fixedly at a spot on his shirt. “I manipulate people. I do. I’m one of those girls.” Her nose scrunches up like it’s a dirty word that leaves a foul taste in her mouth.
Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. Trying to keep up with the train of this conversation is making his head spin. This girl is exhausting.
“Look. Annie, you know what you want. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“And if people get hurt?”
“Then people get hurt! It happens!”
She’s frowning at him, disapproval written all over her face.
“Hey,” he points at her accusingly, “You come to the guy with a broken moral compass, you’re gonna have to deal with getting advice that doesn’t exactly point due north toward pure honorability.”
“You don’t have to be like that you know.”
He shakes his head smugly, “Don’t be so sure. I can’t always be the image of me that you have in your head.”
Annie looks up in surprise, her shoulders slumping a bit. “You’re right.” The look in her eyes remains dark though, determined. “And neither can I.”
She turns and walks away. This time Jeff doesn’t follow.