Reflections on ED

[deathbath]

I look at this girl at my gym l who is clearly plagued by anorexia and think how it's so crazy that I was 10 times worse than her, at my rock bottom about a year ago from this time. It's only been about seven months since I've by health standards 'recovered' but I wonder if I will ever think normally again.
People look at this girl like she's crazy

Comments

[journalface]

i think you're really brave for posting this and i'm glad to hear that you've had some success overcoming your ed.

i think the mindset of a lot of people not plagued by anorexia or bulimia is one of jealousy. believe it or not, a lot of people who don't have restrictive or purging disorders wish they had that control. they look at that girl and wish they were thinner, or had the discipline (for lack of a better word) to compulsively work out or restrict their eating. they're just as uncomfortable with themselves as that girl is and so they talk shit to make themselves feel better.

[deathbath]

hey, thanks for reading what i write. i'm glad there are some people who take this seriously ...
what you said is right on. very insightful and real - i'm glad there's people like you to talk too ...

[fact_and_theory]

i've suffered with ed's in the past as well, and ultimately my metabolism took the beating. i've gained 30lbs over the past year and a half. needing to lose 10lbs turned into 15lbs, 15 turned into 20, and then one day 30lbs. i just look at myself in disgust once again, and wonder how i got here. i'm currently struggling because i don't know how to lose weight in a 'healthy way', but i also don't have it in me to put myself through what i used to in the past

[deathbath]

wow, i would of never guessed ... it means a lot for you to share that with me.

and seriously, it makes me sick how insensitive people can be ... i really understand.
love<3

[trbulnt_spnstr]

hey i was just reading courtney's friend's page and saw your post. I read this sentence (well, sentence fragment), and it really hit home for me: but I wonder if I will ever think normally again. I was anorexic when I was in 6th grade, and it took me about 7 or 8 years to deal with the continued mental instability around food/weight/exercise. I still have some issues, (for example, when I start losing weight I will start addictive disordered thinking so will have to gain it immediately or else I'll start dieting again). I've read a lot of studies that say it takes on average 7 years for a 'recovered' person with an eating disorder to have a 'normal' relationship with diet and exercise.

I hope your journey takes much less time. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling much better. I know what you mean about people shoving shit in your face. People don't know how to deal with the sickness their loved ones have so often. It is really sad, and hard.

Best wishes.