im in ur livejournals, redefining "updated sporadically"
When, in the course of human events, a person has trouble sleeping for a few days, they will inevitably begin entertaining thoughts such as: "What am I doing with my life? What have I contributed to society?
What indelible imprint have I left upon this world?" And so it was that I spent some 36 sleepless hours on icanhascheezburger.com, putting captions on pictures of animals.
Daunted by the possibilities of this new media, I began cautiously, drawing inspiration from the standard phrasebook of the lingua franca of lolcat:
I dabbled in the power of suggestion...
...and explored the potential of solitary words.
And yet, the icanhascheezburger community did not respond to my contributions. Was my work uninspired? I tried to forge a more personal connection with the subjects of the photos:
I touched on current events:
I appealed to the highbrow types...
...the nerd types...
...and the pop culture reference types.
By this time I felt I had hit my stride, and churned out works of what I took to be genius:
...as well as lesser works which were nonetheless deserving of praise:
And yet, where were the adulatory voices of my peers? Where, the adoring multitudes? In desperation, I tried to introduce new logic into the world of photocaptioning, such as the fact that German shepherds speak German, exclusively:
...and the fact that most angry individuals are just trying to get their paper route money:
Still, nothing. The cats of my internet began to reflect the bitterness of my own apparent failure.
At the end of this great social experiment, only two of my pieces had garnered the admiration of a large number of internet patrons:
And thus, bittersweet ends my sojourn in the land of the image macro. Though I failed to reach the dizzying heights of fame to which I aspired, I also failed to impress the collection of humorless idiots who comprise much of icanhascheezburger's active community, which is a success in itself. And hopefully, I have succeeded in crashing the browsers of at least a few people who unsuspectingly clicked on an lj-cut and got smacked with ten thousand images. A life well lived, ladies and germs. Fifty more years to go.