Mmm.... two-day baked mud.
*collapses in a fit of dirt, grease and festival grime*
Highlights:
* 50-Cent being bottled off and booed off stage to chants of "50-Cent is a wanker." Well, what did they expect putting him on before Green Day?
* The Rasmus being bottled off, and the 'Burn the Rasmus' banner. Heh.
* wicker-girl and Rachel's Moorrissey banner. It was crafted from a low-grade bag of animal feed some firewood came in, and we drew a quiff on the cow. And wrote 'meat is murder' on it. Look out for it on festival highlights -- they were at the very front.
* In fact, Morrissey's set wasn't half bad. You can't argue with 'How Soon is Now' opening the set. Although I didn't stay for all of it. There's only so much Moz one woman can take.
* Graham Coxon was just about to launch into his cover of 'That's When I Reach for My Revolver' when The Darkness' pompous fireworks went off. "Why didn't we get any fireworks?" He lamented, and then the whole crowd chanted 'Graham! Graham! Graham!' Far more likable than Justin Hawkins, and not a catsuit in sight.
* In the tradition of Reading cover versions, The White Stripes' cover version of 'Maps' was ace.
* The Futureheads. I expected NME wank along the lines of Bloc Party, and was pleasantly surprised. I'm glad too, because before them were Eastern Lane who would have been okay had their vocalist not been so tuneless it caused me physical pain.
* The entire Carling Tent being perfectly silent and waving lighters in the air for Devendra Banhart.
* A large percentage of Libertines fans. Stop shouting, "we want Pete," and being aggressive moshing wankers, and get stoned and see Stereolab or someone instead. Or take your aggression out on a portaloo. Poor Carl.
* A hotpant-clad Peaches, singing about shaking your tits and shaking your dicks, spitting fake blood into the audience, and simulating blow jobs and bondage on female dancers clad in miniature black top hats and red strap-ons. I've never seen security look so embarrassed to be at a gig.
* Being directly in front of the rather attractive bassist of Sons and Daughters in her white, see-through dress with a light shining right behind it. Mmm. Oh, yeah, and the band were good too.
Lowlights:
* Har Mar Superstar doing an impromptu strip-tease during Ash's set, and Tim Wheeler rallying the crowd, asking, "who wants to see Har Mar naked?" The moment he put his hand down his greying y-fronts and tugged on his micropenis was the moment my heterosexuality vanished. Plus they did 'Girl From Mars' early on in the set, and I missed it.
* The twunt next to me during Franz Ferdinand, who danced Irish jigs in a rather crowded spot, elbowed me, and made up his own lyrics to 'Michael' with loud and copious usage of the phrase 'fuck me with a snooker cue' when he didn't know the words.
* Whichever twit decided to put The Shins on before Kasabian. Corollary: The Shins get heckled. I admit I don't adore The Shins, but the sheer volume of Kasabian fans were worrying.
* The Streets attempting a cover of that vile 'Milkshake' song, which has made it get stuck in my head all day. I know some people love The Streets, but I've always been slightly underwhelmed by them and unable to see why people think they're so original and fantastic. Probably because I'm a stuck-up future NME writer or something.
In other news, I will be very grateful if I never hear The 5678s cover of 'Woo Hoo' or 'Fit But You Know It' by The Streets again. Especially when sung by drunk, smelly men in a conga line with water pistols. Even so, bring on Reading 2005!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to write smutty fanfiction.
Highlights:
* 50-Cent being bottled off and booed off stage to chants of "50-Cent is a wanker." Well, what did they expect putting him on before Green Day?
* The Rasmus being bottled off, and the 'Burn the Rasmus' banner. Heh.
* wicker-girl and Rachel's Moorrissey banner. It was crafted from a low-grade bag of animal feed some firewood came in, and we drew a quiff on the cow. And wrote 'meat is murder' on it. Look out for it on festival highlights -- they were at the very front.
* In fact, Morrissey's set wasn't half bad. You can't argue with 'How Soon is Now' opening the set. Although I didn't stay for all of it. There's only so much Moz one woman can take.
* Graham Coxon was just about to launch into his cover of 'That's When I Reach for My Revolver' when The Darkness' pompous fireworks went off. "Why didn't we get any fireworks?" He lamented, and then the whole crowd chanted 'Graham! Graham! Graham!' Far more likable than Justin Hawkins, and not a catsuit in sight.
* In the tradition of Reading cover versions, The White Stripes' cover version of 'Maps' was ace.
* The Futureheads. I expected NME wank along the lines of Bloc Party, and was pleasantly surprised. I'm glad too, because before them were Eastern Lane who would have been okay had their vocalist not been so tuneless it caused me physical pain.
* The entire Carling Tent being perfectly silent and waving lighters in the air for Devendra Banhart.
* A large percentage of Libertines fans. Stop shouting, "we want Pete," and being aggressive moshing wankers, and get stoned and see Stereolab or someone instead. Or take your aggression out on a portaloo. Poor Carl.
* A hotpant-clad Peaches, singing about shaking your tits and shaking your dicks, spitting fake blood into the audience, and simulating blow jobs and bondage on female dancers clad in miniature black top hats and red strap-ons. I've never seen security look so embarrassed to be at a gig.
* Being directly in front of the rather attractive bassist of Sons and Daughters in her white, see-through dress with a light shining right behind it. Mmm. Oh, yeah, and the band were good too.
Lowlights:
* Har Mar Superstar doing an impromptu strip-tease during Ash's set, and Tim Wheeler rallying the crowd, asking, "who wants to see Har Mar naked?" The moment he put his hand down his greying y-fronts and tugged on his micropenis was the moment my heterosexuality vanished. Plus they did 'Girl From Mars' early on in the set, and I missed it.
* The twunt next to me during Franz Ferdinand, who danced Irish jigs in a rather crowded spot, elbowed me, and made up his own lyrics to 'Michael' with loud and copious usage of the phrase 'fuck me with a snooker cue' when he didn't know the words.
* Whichever twit decided to put The Shins on before Kasabian. Corollary: The Shins get heckled. I admit I don't adore The Shins, but the sheer volume of Kasabian fans were worrying.
* The Streets attempting a cover of that vile 'Milkshake' song, which has made it get stuck in my head all day. I know some people love The Streets, but I've always been slightly underwhelmed by them and unable to see why people think they're so original and fantastic. Probably because I'm a stuck-up future NME writer or something.
In other news, I will be very grateful if I never hear The 5678s cover of 'Woo Hoo' or 'Fit But You Know It' by The Streets again. Especially when sung by drunk, smelly men in a conga line with water pistols. Even so, bring on Reading 2005!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to write smutty fanfiction.