I really have no idea why he's so obsessed. I doubt anyone does, save him. Regardless, you are the person he's projecting this onto. Therefore you are going to need to deal with it sooner or later. Running away will solve nothing. It may even make the situation much worse.
Regret is meaningless. If you regret something, then do what you can to atone for it or drown in your own negativity. Allowing your emotions to overwhelm you is foolish.
Voice/PrivatedeathlessnessApril 7 2011, 20:30:02 UTC
[Atone? Funny you should use that word.]
Atoning is all I have left. I thought once I'd managed to atone for all my sins, and that I could rest in peace. Apparently the gods had other plans. Now I'm stuck here, and right back where I started.
[He growls in annoyance, and there's a sound as if his head just struck the wall.]
If you atone, you should do it for yourself, not for anyone else. Not God nor man. The most important person you want to forgive yourself is you. Not the person you've sinned against, not God, not anyone else. You do it so you can live in peace. Atoning isn't a way to make your afterlife restful. It's a way to make you able to live with yourself, and to make others able to live with you. Guilt never leaves, not fully, but to simply waste your life is pointless
( ... )
Voice/PrivatedeathlessnessApril 7 2011, 21:51:27 UTC
[So near and yet so far, Liquid.]
I'm under no illusions. Atoning is a purely selfish thing, at least in my case. It can't bring back the dead, but I can't die with a clear conscience until I've paid for my sins.
[It was death, not life, that the gods had forbidden him.]
...I knew a man once. He told me that humankind must live to atone for all the sins we've committed. He was a good man, the kind of man most can only strive to be. But you said it yourself, didn't you? Sometimes it's those who deserve life who die, and the most pitiful and unnecessary who still live. "Thus is life."
Only fools seek death. The dead are gone. They are worth nothing in this or any other world. If others have died because of you, then you will never succeed in atoning for them as long as you seek death. But perhaps that's what you want.
[A slight pause. Hm. Turning his own words against him...]
Voice/PrivatedeathlessnessApril 7 2011, 22:04:30 UTC
A dead man with a legacy is worth far more than a living fool with none.
[He's quiet for a moment or two, considering Liquid's last comment. It's not an observation he was happy with, but he supposed he couldn't really argue with it, either.]
That's... probably to be expected. We grew up together. We were like brothers, for the longest time.
You don't need to tell me that twice; I tried to kill mine.
You also told me you're afraid to try, in case you fail. If nothing else, you could make him happy. [A pause.] Or at least give him the illusion of happiness.
Not to mention you're the sole person here who could actually keep him under control.
It's regarding Yaha.
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WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MAN, NOT A- A- GERBIL OR SOMETHING! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS!
...Hmph. Well, I can't force you, although he's more likely to try.
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I suppose now you can see just how off the mark his perfect image of me is. So you'll understand, the person he loves isn't me. Never has been.
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Atoning is all I have left. I thought once I'd managed to atone for all my sins, and that I could rest in peace. Apparently the gods had other plans. Now I'm stuck here, and right back where I started.
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[He growls in annoyance, and there's a sound as if his head just struck the wall.]
If you atone, you should do it for yourself, not for anyone else. Not God nor man. The most important person you want to forgive yourself is you. Not the person you've sinned against, not God, not anyone else. You do it so you can live in peace. Atoning isn't a way to make your afterlife restful. It's a way to make you able to live with yourself, and to make others able to live with you. Guilt never leaves, not fully, but to simply waste your life is pointless ( ... )
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I'm under no illusions. Atoning is a purely selfish thing, at least in my case. It can't bring back the dead, but I can't die with a clear conscience until I've paid for my sins.
[It was death, not life, that the gods had forbidden him.]
...I knew a man once. He told me that humankind must live to atone for all the sins we've committed. He was a good man, the kind of man most can only strive to be. But you said it yourself, didn't you? Sometimes it's those who deserve life who die, and the most pitiful and unnecessary who still live. "Thus is life."
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Only fools seek death. The dead are gone. They are worth nothing in this or any other world. If others have died because of you, then you will never succeed in atoning for them as long as you seek death. But perhaps that's what you want.
[A slight pause. Hm. Turning his own words against him...]
You and Yaha are quite similar.
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[He's quiet for a moment or two, considering Liquid's last comment. It's not an observation he was happy with, but he supposed he couldn't really argue with it, either.]
That's... probably to be expected. We grew up together. We were like brothers, for the longest time.
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!
[...]
Then how can you just ignore him now, when he needs help? What sort of brother just abandons the other?
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You also told me you're afraid to try, in case you fail. If nothing else, you could make him happy. [A pause.] Or at least give him the illusion of happiness.
Not to mention you're the sole person here who could actually keep him under control.
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