[exaggeratedly loud whispering]
HEY. DID IT TURN ON? Seems like the damn thing comes on every time someone moves while doing something embarrassing, so kicking it to the floor oughtta hit the right buttons, right? Oh, hey, I think the light's blinking--! ANYWAY.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. I AM BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN MY APARTMENT AND AM ABOUT TO GET CUT
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