Why do I bother?

[deathwish86]

I hate writing. Better yet, I hate typing. I'm only doing this now because someone asked me to. I feel much more comfortable talking instead of this computer stuff. I guess thats just more proof that I don't quite fit in this world. Like I said though, this is because someone I love wanted my thoughts written down so she could reread them. Maybe

Comments

[claytonsgrrl]

I didn't know Michelle washed down pills with Rum. We'll need to have a sit down about this. Vodka is so much better for that type of thing.

[harley322]

I don't even remember reading this the first time around, but if I did, then obviously I was too absorbed in my own bullshit to bother talking to you about it. I'm sorry I hurt you with my self-destructive behavior... but it's a pattern with me. Every time something goes wrong in my life, it's been easier to hurt myself than deal with the pain any other way. I know that's wrong, but it's just always how I handled things. The pills, the drinking, the cutting... it had nothing to do with you. It wasn't intended to hurt you. It was a problem within myself that I didn't know how to deal with. There was something in myself that I didn't like. Joe was hurting me, and he was supposed to marry me, so if the guy who was supposed to love me so much could treat me like crap, then I must really be as bad as I thought. I did take your words into consideration, and believe me, it felt good to know that someone still loved me. You did matter. I was just too involved in my own shit to see that I was hurting you. I was acting selfish, and that was