Why are there two or three men posters dominating this discussion?
Because women aren't commenting?
Is there something I'm doing that is preventing women from commenting here? A full day passed before I commented at length.
it is not our duty to educate when we check
You may not believe me, but I agree.
That said, I have seen forums in which comments produce only a blizzard of brief call-outs but very little discussion takes place. I'm hoping other folks have better answers than mine about how we could produce a richer discussion than that.
What About the Menz garbage
I actually agree with that, too.
I think it's very useful to include some consideration of how men are hurt by patriarchy in the picture, it can easily claim center stage, which is disastrous. Some forum shut down any mention of men's encounter with patriarchy beyond Men Are Privileged, which is also a bummer ... though better than being choked with BS from MRAs. Is there a way we can do better?
Actually, women are commenting, but gee - it's not very interesting to do so when there's two guys in a circle jerk who seem very interested in continuing to privilege their maleness over other persons. You know, folks who aren't actually thinking about deconstructing their maleness whatsoever? I have played that game and I've dealt with men like that, which includes you btw, and it's exhausting and I'd rather work on my knitting.
At least after a few hours of knitting, my sweater's that much closer to being done. Getting into a revolving discussion with men about male privilege, when they want things like a) no or limited discussion about sexism's impact on women and b) to demand education when told to check their privilege... I end up with a headache and pissed off after a few hours.
it's not very interesting to do so when there's two guys in a circle jerk who seem very interested in continuing to privilege their maleness over other persons.
Seriously. When one person sets out a structured set of the rules he thinks the community ought to have, including "Ground rules" both "principles" and "specifics," it's pretty hard to get a word in edgewise. Likewise when two men are in a very lengthy and wordy, yes, circle jerk. It's frankly not something I'm that interested in inserting myself into, which is why I made an independent comment. And yet, despite my efforts, still somehow the first response I get is from one of these two men -- the one I specifically asked, as politely as I could, to sit down and shut up for a while.
the stuff that erupted in that other post was so creepy. kudos for the people who countered that blase rape apologist randomness. i barely even have the energy to mod feminist even tho it doesn't have major flareups anymore after the team instituted policies. this comm is actually scarier to me than dbw, bc as annoying as dbw is, you don't have white people being blase about physically attacking poc. i'm not making a broader race vs. gender statement here, i'm just comparing the two comms. please don't flame me.
" the obligation is on the offender to figure out how they showed their ass this time. "
An obligation they can simply drop without any trouble isn't an obligation. Likewise, if something bothers you and you don't explain it...even a person who wanted to help might be stymied. Who owns the problem?
Put another way; you went to the trouble to devote a website to addressing something you don't like, but give a pass to the people with the most control over it. Isn't that kind of conflicted?
So you have set up a discussion where the burden of proof is on the accused not the accuser! I say you are using your privilege as moderator to setup the conversation to benefit your own point of view. You really want everyone to think and act like you. You don't even see it yourself. I can't think of anything more disgusting and low than a person that hates themselves and the people around them so much that they poison their own community. Shameful.
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Because women aren't commenting?
Is there something I'm doing that is preventing women from commenting here? A full day passed before I commented at length.
it is not our duty to educate when we check
You may not believe me, but I agree.
That said, I have seen forums in which comments produce only a blizzard of brief call-outs but very little discussion takes place. I'm hoping other folks have better answers than mine about how we could produce a richer discussion than that.
What About the Menz garbage
I actually agree with that, too.
I think it's very useful to include some consideration of how men are hurt by patriarchy in the picture, it can easily claim center stage, which is disastrous. Some forum shut down any mention of men's encounter with patriarchy beyond Men Are Privileged, which is also a bummer ... though better than being choked with BS from MRAs. Is there a way we can do better?
Reply
At least after a few hours of knitting, my sweater's that much closer to being done. Getting into a revolving discussion with men about male privilege, when they want things like a) no or limited discussion about sexism's impact on women and b) to demand education when told to check their privilege... I end up with a headache and pissed off after a few hours.
Reply
Seriously. When one person sets out a structured set of the rules he thinks the community ought to have, including "Ground rules" both "principles" and "specifics," it's pretty hard to get a word in edgewise. Likewise when two men are in a very lengthy and wordy, yes, circle jerk. It's frankly not something I'm that interested in inserting myself into, which is why I made an independent comment. And yet, despite my efforts, still somehow the first response I get is from one of these two men -- the one I specifically asked, as politely as I could, to sit down and shut up for a while.
Reply
Reply
An obligation they can simply drop without any trouble isn't an obligation. Likewise, if something bothers you and you don't explain it...even a person who wanted to help might be stymied. Who owns the problem?
Put another way; you went to the trouble to devote a website to addressing something you don't like, but give a pass to the people with the most control over it. Isn't that kind of conflicted?
Reply
So you have set up a discussion where the burden of proof is on the accused not the accuser! I say you are using your privilege as moderator to setup the conversation to benefit your own point of view. You really want everyone to think and act like you. You don't even see it yourself. I can't think of anything more disgusting and low than a person that hates themselves and the people around them so much that they poison their own community. Shameful.
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