AIM Logs, Vol 2
Who | Christian and Alexis (with an appearance from Adrien and Dominic Blackthorn)
What | AIM logs, Vol 2.
Status | Closed. (some logs incomplete)
Warnings | Awkwardness, Violent!Christian, Panic-Attack!Alexis, some fluffiness.
What | Where Christian saves Alexis from sexual assault.
Where | A hallway, and Alexis’ room.
Alexis Berges: Today wasn’t a good day. I felt him following me so I tried to get to a public place quickly...but I soon felt my back pressed against the cold walls and his hands rested lightly at my hips, I slap at him, "Stop don't touch me." I say as sternly as I can, fear bubbling up in me and threatening to choke me. He does stop an I hear him whisper for me not to tell anyone and it would be okay. My suspicion wasn't even as bad...I yell but he covers my mouth and instantly I freak out, kicking and screaming as I felt his hand slide under my dress. Panic. Chaos. Terror. That's all I hear in my mind and I know I was having a panic attack, I feel like I can't breath and my entire body is shaking. My suspicion of doctors is true. They only want us for one reason. I feel a hand pulling at my underwear and I try to stop it.
Christian Wayland: I've been wandering around aimlessly all morning, just kind of zoned out in my own little world, thanks to a certain substance I was able to get my hands on during a recent trip in to town. As I'm moving down one of the corridors, I hear someone call out but then get sharply cut off. I don't recognize the voice. Time is moving too slow, like someone pressed the 'slo-mo' button. It's not until I round another corner that I see him, towering over Alexis and definitely not looking like he was trying to help. I'm a little slow on the uptake, but my feelings for Alexis have my body moving two steps ahead of my brain. Before I've fully processed anything, I'm pulling at the nurse's arm, shouting at him to let her go.
Alexis Berges: I hear someone yell, but I feel like I'm underwater, nothing sounds right. I'm too far gone in panic to do anything but keep kicking and now that the hand on my mouth is gone, my screams ring out again. The nurse obviously wasn’t happy to be interrupted by whoever it was stopping him and soon I heard a huge thumb, it sounded like the nurse punched the man. He let go of me and I slide on the wall to the floor, curling into a tight ball. I should probably run but those thoughts are far gone, I can't focus on anything but breathing as those thoughts of being hurt as a little girl flood me and feel so real again.
Christian Wayland: A fist connects with my face, but I'm hardly phased; there's far too many endorphin's in my blood right now for me to feel it. I respond with my own punch, hitting him square in the nose, followed by a punch to his stomach, and then a kick to the shin for posterity. "Get the fuck out of here," I growl at him, keeping my guard up in case he's going to come back for more.
Alexis Berges: Obviously the nurse didn't like that a patient could do him damage but still he didn't need to get in trouble, no one was meant to know of him and Alexis. So he splits, running down the hall. I still lay there on the floor, my wits still evade me so I can't figure out what’s going on. It whimper and cries quietly, hugging my knees as if I'm holding myself together for I don't fall to pieces.
Christian Wayland: I stand for a second, watching him run and feeling very smug about myself before remembering Alexis is still crumbled on the floor. I rub the bruise forming on my cheek and walk over to her, kneeling next to her. "Hey," I whisper, bending right down so my face is next to hers. "Hey, Alexis."
Alexis Berges: I gasp when I hear a voice right in front of me and shrink away, tears still flooding my eyes. I start to come around, enough to try figuring out who it was. It took me a moment to realize it was Christian. I sniffle and hide my face, so embarrassed, he did nothing but touch me but I felt so dirty, like I felt back then. Disgusting and worthless. I sill tremble but I'm pulling myself back together now. I open my mouth to try to say something but all that comes out is a choked sob.
Christian Wayland: Still in a relative haze, I'm completely at a loss of what to do with her. I can't leave her here, but would she trust me enough to help? "Here, lets get you out of here," I place my hand over one of hers, knowing that she'll probably freak out more. I try being stern with her, hoping it might help me get through to her.. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm taking you to a safe place."
Alexis Berges: I jump when he touches me but I don't react much beyond that, oddly so. After what just happened I'm amazed to find that a touch can be comforting instead of purely terrifying. I take deep breath, I want to say that there are no safe places but I can't get those words on my lips without more sobs falling out. I feel weak, there was no way I could stand up and just walk away. There was no where sage to go anyway, out here or in a room were just the same.
Christian Wayland: I figured it would come to this. In one foul swoop, I scoop the girl up, holding her bridal style. She's surprisingly light, considering what little strength I have. "I've got you, you'll be fine," I try to reassure her as I take the first few steps back down the corridor. Hopefully the burnt grass smell all over my clothing doesn't do anything to distress her more because right now, I've completely forgotten about it. "Your room's closest, we'll go there, okay?"
Alexis Berges: I do pick up on the smell, I can't name it though, it's not horribly unpleasant but just.. bleak. I bite my lip and focus on staying calm while he held me, I haven't been picked up since I was a little girl, it was so strange. I'm coherent enough to understand him so I nod but I still can't talk, scared the sobs would break loose again.
Christian Wayland: We make it there as quick as I can manage, and I place her down onto the bed, leaving her side only long enough to go and shut the door. I walk back and take a seat on the bed next to her. "You're okay?" I ask, after giving her a few moments.
Alexis Berges: I rub my temples and try to stop the sniffling. "y-yes..." I say and rub my arms, trying to get rid of the chills. I’m still trying to get a hold of myself but I knew I would be haunted by this for a long time.. The next thing I do is something odd. I sit up and wrap my arms around one of Christians and say nothing.
Christian Wayland: She latches on and I don't say a thing. Instead, I brush some hair from her face, then some tears from her cheeks. She needs to ride this out in her own time. I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, finally feeling my cheek start to burn. It's no doubt gone purple and blue, but I won't know that until I see another mirror.
Alexis Berges: It's so out of character for me to purposely touch someone like I was Christian. But he saved me. And I felt deeply that he wouldn't hurt me...at least in -that- way. I close my eyes, my nose brushing against his arm. I take deep breaths and after maybe 20 minutes I'm calm again. "Did he hurt you...?" I asks now that I can breath
Christian Wayland: I grunt in reply, the pain now having had time to spread and trigger a dull headache. Too much movement, and I could end up with a migraine that wouldn't help Alexis at all. "I'll be fine."
Alexis Berges: I frown "You're hurt.." I say and sit up a little more, "I'm sorry..." I sniffle because I know it's my fault and it makes me feel bad...I don't know what it is that makes Christian special, but he was different to me then other people, he didn't make me feel constantly scared or like I could be hurt at any moment. He was just...just something. I haven't even bothered with my bruises that run along my arms and hips from him holding me so roughly, I bruise easily. Not that I can see them but I've been told and I feel them.
Christian Wayland: I open one eye so I can properly see when I press a finger to her lips. "It's nothing," I stress. "Just shh. I'm trying to avoid a migraine." My other hand reaches into my pocket and produces something I was going to save for later, had the nurse not interrupted me and caused all this grief. "Would you be offended if I smoked a joint? I'll be less likely to have an episode... and I'm willing to split it..." I normally wouldn't ask, but this is her room, and she's the one who's distressed and needs comfort. I'm just looking out for safety right now, which includes me and my AiWS.
Alexis Berges: I’m surprised when he touches my lips, a bit of a scary spot for me, like my neck, hips and obvious sexual places. But I realize his intention quickly so I don't freak. "A joint...?" I say, my brows push together a little, "I won't be offended." I respond, nibbling my lip. "I've never done that...so I better pass." I say politely. I was scared of such things. So many horror stories from my parents did that.
Christian Wayland: "It's good for pain," I mutter around the joint, which I've now placed between my lips. I light it, and take the first, long drag, holding it in, as evident by the way my next few words sound. "I won't force you though," I turn my head away from her and exhale "More for me." I'm addicted only in the sense that it helps keep the AiWS and associated migraines under control. Rationing is hard, since I only get more when I'm allowed a trip in to town.
Alexis Berges: "Will it hurt me...?" I asks, I don't think he'd do something to hurt me...and it's not hurting him.. "I'm curious...I'm just a little nervous...what if my brain hemorrhages?" I say. I may sound a little silly but I was just cautious.
Christian Wayland: I smirk a little as I take the next puff. "You might cough a little at first... it does different things for different people. Makes me numb, slows things down." I pause, taking another drag and holding it in. This one makes me cough on the exhale, and Alexis will hear me pound on my chest as I try to catch my breath properly.
Alexis Berges: I bite my lip because his cough sounded bad. I take a deep breath, "I'll try it.." I say, and of I don't like it I just won't ever do it again, right? I realize I'm still attached to him and I slowly let go now.
Christian Wayland: "Sorry," I mutter after clearing my throat. "You're sure you want to try?" I reach for her hand and carefully make sure she'd holding the joint correctly. "You can back out any time..."
Alexis Berges: I purse my lips a little and don't respond. I take a drag but I don't think it hit my lungs so I do it again and hold it... it sure as hell did this time because I cough like I inhaled sand. I've never even smoked a cigarette so that was ..new. I blush brightly, sure I looked like a fool.
Christian Wayland: First thing I do when she starts coughing is make sure the burning paper and herb doesn't drop and set the bed on fire. Second, I give her back a rub, letting her cough it out. "I know it burns," I acknowledge, "You're okay."
Alexis Berges: I take deep breaths best I can, "That feels horrible.." I choke again and touch my head because I feel a little swimmy already. "How's it help pain if it hurts?" I ask. It did burn and I don't feel different. But I lean slightly to the right without realizing in doing it.
Christian Wayland: "You get used to it." Is all I can think to offer in reply. My own pain is already slipping away, and I wave the glowing tip of the joint in front of my face, watching the ember trail slower than I was moving it. "It takes a while, though."
Alexis Berges: I nod a little and tug on the fabric of my shirt idly. "Hey Christian..." I say "why...would you let yourself be hurt to help me?" I ask
Christian Wayland: I shrug. "I don't know.. instinct? I saw you, saw him, and something clicked..." The joint is a little over half gone now and I absently hold it out to her. "Another drag?"
Alexis Berges: I masochistically try another drag, I cough again but not as bad. "Thank you.. for saving me." I say and nod "so much..."
Christian Wayland: I reach an arm around her and pull her closer without much thinking. "He was an asshole," I'm smiling a little, and she no doubt heard it in my words.
Alexis Berges: I feel a little fuzzy, his arm around me doesn't bug me like it normally would. It just didn't really seem to matter right now. I rest my head on his shoulder "Yes. He keeps bothering me but he never went that far.." I say
Christian Wayland: I rest my cheek on the top of her head. "He shouldn't bother you again, I broke his nose. Explaining that will be hard." I close my eyes and watch faint colours swirl behind my eyelids. "I won't always be there, though..."
Alexis Berges: I know he won't always be there, that scares me..."I know." I say, it's amazing how close I am to him and yet I feel alright. I feel a little hum of energy in me and yet such a mellowness. "Thanks still.."
Christian Wayland: "Mmm.." I reply, finishing the last smokable piece of the joint. I reach down as best as I can without moving too much to stub it out on the bottom of my shoe and place the spent butt on the nightstand. Alexis embodies so much of what I've never had before in the way of a friend, a family... the only person I've ever considered letting in. I give her a light squeeze, a silent thank you, fully aware that my more unusual actions were normally non-existent actions caused by the marijuana.
Alexis Berges: I feel my cheeks heat up a little when he squeezes me. I wonder why he's even touching me...why I'm letting him. Thought aside I don't pull away, but rather enjoy the strange sensation of being touched and not feeling so scared, it's been foreign to me. The only person that could in the way Christian was had been my twin sister. Never anyone outside of my family and especially a man...but yet here I am. I feel slower, light weight, if that makes sense. Every touch vibrates, like when you touch your leg after its coming around from falling asleep. I assume it's the drugs so I don't worry.
Christian Wayland: It's good to know that she's calmed down from the ordeal. I know it's not going to go away, the same as I know when my high wears off, a migraine will probably be right around the corner. When that happens, I plan to be back in my room, alone, able to deal with it myself. In the meantime, this quiet and decidedly not awkward moment is nice. I'm finding myself able to switch off, yet still have something invested into the situation for when it's needed..
Alexis Berges: I sigh softly, a relaxed noise. I think a moment before I say "Want to play a game again?" I ask, wanting to break the silence, not that it was uncomfortable. "I can start if you like." I offer, my head still rested on him.
Christian Wayland: With my mind disconnected, it takes a second for her words to reach the processors. When they do, the response I give is a little slurred, with everything back into a 'slo-mo' for me. "Alright, sure."
Alexis Berges: "What's your favorite color?" I ask, simply and innocent. I may ask bigger things later but right now I was just playing it easy. I feel like my thoughts are just strolling along as they please, slow and relaxed instead of the usual brisk run they were usually at. It was odd.
Christian Wayland: "Blue," I reply after a moment. Nice and neutral. I suppose this is 20 Questions again, which would mean her question needed to be reciprocated. I ask the first thing that comes to mind: "What's your favourite animal?"
Alexis Berges: "Horses.." I say. Which is strange because they're the reason I'm blind.. it's the only animal I remember in great detail. "Where would you want to go if you could go anywhere?" I ask
Christian Wayland: There's no real contest in my mind. "Home.." It's a moot point though, since I really don't have a home outside of Blackthorn. I'm really meaning more of wanting to go back to Ireland, but it didn't occur to me to be that specific. "How did you become blind?"
Alexis Berges: I'm surprised he would pick such a question so fast...I take a deep breath, "Um...I was 3..I snuck into my uncles horse pen.. the horse kicked me, in the head. I was in a coma for a long time...they thought I'd die. But when I came around.. I was blind." I say with a frown
Christian Wayland: It was interesting that she answered so willingly, yet I was left a little confused. "Why do you still like horses, then?" I've never really trusted them, and if one kicked me, I don't think I'd want to be around them ever again.
Alexis Berges: I don't know why I answered, but maybe it was because I wanted honest answers if I ever asked him such personal things.." They remind me of home." I say, "I remember them in detail in my mind ..." I shrug. He asked personally, my next would be as well "Why we're you in foster care?" I ask
Christian Wayland: I shrug. "Just was." Every time I asked about my parents, the subject was always danced around, and by the time I ended up in the home for troubled youth, I stopped asking, realizing it was probably for the same reason I was shuffled through the system, from one home to another; that there was something wrong with me.
Alexis Berges: I frown "You just were...?" I ask, "I don't think your parents would just ...get rid of you at random.." I say but feel like I'm prying too far in so I stop.
Christian Wayland: "I don't know anything about them." I think this is the most personal confession I've made to Alexis yet. I sit up a little, and look her straight in the eye, a little of that pent up anger for the past showing through. "Four foster homes and a home for troubled youth make it obvious that something's wrong, don't you think?"
Alexis Berges: I shake my head, "I think it was something wrong with them. Not you." I say, I'm being honest. It's never a kid fault for being given away, especially of they're young. "I don't think it was your fault." I say, I feel his eyes on my and I look down.
Christian Wayland: The agitation is still there. "I'm institutionalized. There's obviously something wrong. They all saw it." I bring a hand up and pinch the bridge of my nose. She means well, I know, but 24 years of believing it's my fault is hard to undo.
Alexis Berges: I just sigh a little, I know how he feels because I felt like that being sent here. "You're sick, Christian. They couldn't have known that." I say and shrug. I take a breath, lightly touching his shoulder.
Christian Wayland: "Or, they just didn't want to have to deal with me. Making up every excuse they could think of, even illness, to get rid of me." A sensitive switch has been tripped, and yes, I am just stubborn enough that I'll continue to argue.
Alexis Berges: "I don't see why." I say, "I think your fascinating.." I say, not much worried about it, still under the influence of weed. I wrap my arms back around one of his, "I think they were insane." I mumble
Christian Wayland: "Why, because I'm the only one who will pay you any mind besides the nurses?" The words just came pouring out since I had clicked into defence mode and a 'Christian is nothing' state of mind. "I don't need your pity."
Alexis Berges: I bite my lip and pull away, my face hot and cherry red. That wasn't my reason but I couldn't explain why to him because I myself didn't understand it...I'm just embarrassed right now and I don't know what to say to him. "I-I'm sorry..." is all I can think to say and it almost comes out like a question, my voice broke because I can't deal with things like this, people don't always make sense and I just don't know what to do and I get scared and freaked out when I can't make sense of things so I feel my eyes well up with tears.
Christian Wayland: Instinct makes me want to call her pathetic, to say to her no wonder that nurse took advantage of her when she makes it too easy by being so small and defenceless. To question why I even bothered with her in the first place. I don't say any of this though, because that piece of me that cares for her stops me. I get up and pace the room, frustrated because I can't say any of it.
Alexis Berges: I sigh a little and wipe my eyes, "sorry..." I apologize time for getting emotional. I stand up, rubbing my arms "do you want me to leave...?" I asks quietly, "I...I was only trying to help.."
Christian Wayland: I let out a growl and kick the desk. "Stop apologizing!" Gripping the back of the desk's chair, I sigh. Do I want her to leave? It's her room, I should be the one leaving. "Do what you want," I say with another sigh, "I don't care."
Alexis Berges: I jump when I hear his violent reaction. I couldn't risk caring what he wanted or that it was my room I just need to get away from him. I reach out, finding the door and walking our quickly, closing it behind me. I sigh I don't know what happened...
Christian Wayland: Sometimes I just get set off, and I guess talking about the foster homes and my parents happened to be today's hot-button topic. I go to follow Alexis out the door, but instead of confronting her, I breeze past her, on the way to my own room, needing to be by myself to cool down.
Alexis Berges: I cringe when my door opens, I didn't know why he was coming out here, I had to admit I was scared. When he leaves I go back in my room and lay down. Trying to sort out what happened, I didn't mean to offend him or upset him...I didn't want him to be mad at me..
Christian Wayland: Maybe an hour after I had stormed out of Alexis' room, there was a huge ruckus going on - lots of shouting, banging, smashing. Obviously a fight of some sort going on. Alexis would be able to hear snippets of what the staff that are running by her door are saying - things about sedation, restraint, a violent patient - but no one was saying who the patient was.
Alexis Berges: I don't know why my first thought was Christian but it was. So I peek out of my door, listening to the running staff. I walk out and feel along the walls until I was close enough to ear what was happening
Christian Wayland: There was a full fledged fight in the process of being broken up in the common room Alexis had come to. Amid all of the shouting, she would be able to hear me screaming slander, but might not register right away that my opponent is the same nurse who had given her trouble earlier today. There's more crashing noises as I struggle against the men restraining me, my foot hitting a vase that was sitting on a table and sending it to the floor.
Alexis Berges: I listen to the chaos and recognize Christian. I listen harder and recognize the man that followed me around and tried to hurt me. I walk forward, arms held out in front of me, "Christian?!" I say
Christian Wayland: I don't immediately hear Alexis, more concerned with the struggle and trying to get free. It's hard, but I manage to slip out, lunging for the nurse and putting everything I have into tackling him to the ground, then just laying into him. The whole thing's a complete mess with blood flying everywhere and my complete disregard for my own safety. This asshole confronted me, to show me a lesson after I had attacked him this morning, but I was going to have none of it.
Alexis Berges: I cant see so I don't fully know what's going on, I move forward but am stopped by a nurse, "Stop! What's happening ?" I asks, frantic. My first thought was that the nurse man came to hurt Christian.
Blackthorn Nurse: "Miss, I need you to go back to your room now," The nurse says to Alexis, taking her hand to guide her back to her room.
Christian Wayland: On the other side of the room, I'm pulled off the male nurse and restrained again, a straightjacket put on, and then being dragged off towards my room, where they'll no doubt strap me to the bed for three days... or longer, if I'm still putting up a fuss.
Alexis Berges: I slap the woman's hand away, "Don't TOUCH me!!" I hiss because I'm so sick of being manhandled and touched at all, it's the reason I'm here and they're intensifying it. "Just stop!" I yell, so out of my nature to get loud, "Tell me what's happening! What're you doing to Christian?" I ask and slap her hands away again.
Blackthorn Nurse: "Miss," The nurse signals to two other staff members "I'm not going to tell you again, you need to go back to your room. Christian is just having a little problem, but he's being looked after. He'll be /fine/."
Alexis Berges: "Stop hiding things from me! I'm not crazy! I'm only here because I'm scared of YOU doctors! And I should be! That man fighting with Christian tried to rape me!" I yell, though even when I'm loud I'm still tame. I finally say the word rape "Christian stopped him and saved me!"
Christian Wayland: The nurse obviously doesn't believe her. The two support staff she called in both grab Alexis by an arm. "Take her to her room," She instructs, "I'll go talk to the doctor, see if I can't get something to calm her down."
Alexis Berges: I instantly start screaming, Calling out for the head doctor I'd met, "Adrien! Adrien! Help!!" I scream and fight against them.
Adrien Blackthorn: Lucky for Alexis me and my brother Dominic were already on our way to the ruckus. I suddenly hear Alexis scream and take off running with my twin. "What's going on?" I ask when I enter the room. Dominic looks frustrated to be having these issues so early on whereas Adrien looks worried.
Blackthorn Nurse: The nurse looks surprised, but immediately puts on an air of professionalism. "Oh, Doctors, there was a minor disturbance, but we have it under control. I was just advising Miss LaBlanc to allow these gentlemen to escort her back to her room, where it's safe."
Alexis Berges: I'm still freaking out when the twins enter and I'm frantically wondering where Christian is, "Where's Christian??" I asks, fighting away from the nurse
Adrien Blackthorn: "Dominic will go see to him." I say with authority "please release Alexis, she has aphephobia and I'm certain you're scaring her." I say and once they tell me I send Dominic after Christian.
Dominic Blackthorn: Dominic sighs and goes to where Christian was held, "Christian?" he says and walks up to the man in the straight jacket "what happened?"
Christian Wayland: I'm thrashing about the moment the doctor walks into the room, looking incredibly angry and very much disturbed. I squeeze my eyes shut a few times and try to shake the matted hair from my face. When I talk, it's a stuttered growl. "F-fuck you and fuck your n-nurses."
Blackthorn Nurse: Back with Alexis, the nurse does as she's told, giving a curt nod to the good doctor. "I am sorry, sir. I'll go about my other duties now. Excuse me." She motions for the other two who were holding Alexis to follow.
Dominic Blackthorn: Dominic drowns "Alexis and Dr Adrian said to check on you and find out what happened. So cool it and explain" he says, a low tolerance for the patients.
Adrien Blackthorn: I stop the nurse "What exactly happened here?" I ask her, brushing my hair out of my face and looks at Alexis who looks terrified and the guilty looking makes nurse.
Alexis Berges: I hug myself, thank god for Adrian. I wait to hear the nurse side of the story before I say anything
Christian Wayland: "If you s-staff k-knew how to do their j-jobs and not ATTACK PATIENTS!" I rock in the chair they have me strapped to, knowing the effort wouldn't get me anywhere but trying anyways. The room's bright, I'm pissed off, my head hurts, and I can't tell which of the Blackthorn twins I'm talking to because I have one black eye and the other one is going nuts with proportion and perspective distortion.
Blackthorn Nurse: The nurse stops and turns back. "Yes, of course. I'm terribly sorry. It would seem Mr. Wayland attacked a staff member. We tried to handle it as tactfully as possible. The nurse said he has no idea how it happened - he was making his rounds, and out of nowhere, the patient came at him."
Dominic Blackthorn: "Forget that for a moment and tell me what happened so I can get to the bottoms of this!" Dominic raises his voice, he made it obvious who he was because of his temper.
Alexis Berges: "You're lying!" I say, mad at the nurse, "That man tried to ..rape me the other day.. Christian stopped him!" I say "He probably wanted to get him back.." I say.
Adrien Blackthorn: I frown, "I'll look into this and see if it's the truth. Until then I suppose that Christian will have to be quarantined and I will watch this accused nurse...Alexis please go back to your room, it'll be okay I promise"
Christian Wayland: I go limp in the chair and grit my teeth, almost muttering my answer. "He tried to rape Alexis..." I'm not proud of myself for admitting I helped her in any capacity, but by getting the information out there, hopefully this whole debacle will be avoided in the future. "The pig deserved what he got."
Blackthorn Nurse: "I can only go by what I have been told," The nurse says to Alexis, before turning back to Adrien. "Very well sir. Will there be anything else?"
Adrien Blackthorn: "No. Nothing else." I say and signal her that she's free to leave. I stand in front of Alexis "Are you okay..?" I ask.
Dominic Blackthorn: Dominic frowns "Alright then. Adrien will be here later. Just.. relax." he says and walks out to find his brother.
Alexis Berges: I jump back when I feel him move closer "Yes. Is Christian?" I asks, I don't know why I worry but I do. "Can we go check?"
Adrien Blackthorn: "He's dangerous right now so I can't let you see him. But please go to your room. I will check the security cameras for evidence and I'll get back to you both fast" I say. I see Dominic walk in now "what did he say?"
Dominic Blackthorn: "He said that the nurse tried to rape Alexis." Dominic says. "Take Alexis to her room I'm going check the cameras.
Adrien Blackthorn: I do as my brother says and take Alexis back to her room and try to calm her. I later get word that Alexis assault is on the cameras. Security seizes the man who tried to rape her and I go with Alexis to retrieve Christian. We walk inside his solitary room.
Christian Wayland: I'm still sitting limp in the chair, having completely tired myself out with all of the resistance. I'm just kind of staring at the wall, watching it pulse and swirl with each pound that my head makes. When I hear two sets of footsteps enter the room, I don't move my gaze. "I told you what you needed to know. Leave me alone."
Adrien Blackthorn: "I'm Doctor Adrien Blackthorn, you spoke with my brother Dominic. It's been confirmed that you're innocent of any blame so I've come to let you out if you're calm enough" I explain.
Alexis Berges: I listen to Christian and Adrien speak. I sigh, I still think Christian hates me after the last time... And now he was hurt because of the nurse and that was my fault too...I nibble my lip and stay near the door
Christian Wayland: So just like that? I was expecting quarantine for longer, I wanted to get well acquainted with this jacket. I chuckle, though it sounds a little demented. "I attacked him and you're letting me go..." I drag my eyes to the pair of them, and recognize Alexis over by the door. "And you brought her too... I thought I was dangerous?"
Adrien Blackthorn: "I'm not an idiot, Christian. He deserved it but please refrain from anymore fights alright?" I say "you were dangerous to the doctor but I don't believe you'd hurt a girl you protected" I explain. I think I better sedate him before returning him to his room
Alexis Berges: I look down when he mentions me. Biting my lip a little hard. I just don't know how to deal with him and that makes me nervous
Christian Wayland: "Heee deserved it," I echo, shifting in my seat. If I could, I probably would've given the doctor a salute when he instructs me to refrain from getting into any more fights. Instead, my head bobs up and down, with fingers crossed beneath the sleeve of the jacket. It's not the first, and definitely not the last fight I'll ever see... just the first where the intention wasn't to put myself in a coma.
Adrien Blackthorn: I frown and decide not to unbound Christian until he calms down. I keep Alexis behind me also. "You have to calm down, ok?" I tell the man.
Alexis Berges: My brows push together, why is he acting this way? It makes me a little nervous along with the worry from thinking he was hurt.. "Are you alright?" I ask
Christian Wayland: At the moment, I'm about as calm as I'm going to get, without having been given any medication or sedation. If he were to unbind me now, it would be hard to say what would happen next. He was right in saying earlier that I wouldn't hurt Alexis, and I'm not stupid enough to attack one of the head doctors. My head lulls back to one side. "I don't know, I mutter, not offering much of a proper answer. to either of them.
What | Where Alexis invited Christian on a trip in to town.
Where | Christian’s room and in the nearby town.
Christian Wayland: I've spent the better part of three days alone in my room, only disturbed to be given food and medication. It wasn't so much the effects of the sedation, as it was the general 'excitement' of the interactions had tired me out, body and mind. I have been in no mood to be around anyone - not even Alexis. While the majority of my mind was enjoying the seclusion, there was still that small part of me wondering what she had thought. She's now seen me in two different positions of vulnerability, and has heard the kinds of things I will say to those who don't matter. I don't have the same sort of respect for the Blackthorn twins as Alexis does. To me, they're just another metaphorical restraint system. Currently, I'm sitting at the desk, picking through the lunch that was dropped there. It's nothing I'm too interested in - some sort of meat-veggie-potato meal. I've only eaten about half of the meat portion, and mixed the veggie and mashed potatoes around to simulate having eaten those two. Satisfied with the ruse, I pad right back to the bed where I lay down with my back to the majority of the room.
Alexis Berges: It's not that I'm avoiding anyone. But I haven't readily left to search out the company of anyone. I was appreciative that Adrien helped me, though I feel deeply he was another motive for helping besides just being nice. I don't trust him. Or any doctor or staff. They were all just here for money and the benefits. And I'm sure there are more staff here that just want to take advantage of me, thinking they can say I'm just crazy so they won't get in trouble...I sigh as I think this, hugging him knees where I sat in bed. Why was I here? How could this ever help me?...it couldn't. I'm only here because my parents got sick of caring for me. I don't trust them either, because there is no one to trust. No relative or friend, human or god can be trusted to look out for your best interest. I really don't want to move about after realizing I’m all I have. Christian crosses my mind but I dispel the thought, he doesn't like me, I offended him, why would he? I stand up out of bed, remembering that today I can go into town....maybe I'll ask Christian.. maybe he'll forgive me. I walk to his room, careful but quick because I don't like being in the halls, I felt like a target. I knock on his door and hope he opens.
Christian Wayland: There's no answer when Alexis knocks. When I get like this, it's hard to break through that wall that I put up against the outside. The staff usually like it because it means I won't be any trouble. They just have to do the bare minimum in the way of care, and that's exactly what I figure is going on with the knock on my door. It's probably the nurse coming to take away the tray of food.. or dose me again... or whatever it is they have to or want to do.
Alexis Berges: "Christian?" I call as I knock again, listening closely. I wonder if I got the wrong room. I touch the Braille next to his door, no, I had the right room. I wait patiently, maybe he was asleep ...I still worry about being in the hall, though. I knock again, "It's Alexis..." I say
Christian Wayland: Alexis.. do I really want to see her? Why is she here? I still don't answer her, but I do shift, hugging the portion of the pillow my head's not on to my chest. I think deep down I'm just a little anxious.
Alexis Berges: Maybe he's not inside...but something inside of me wonders of he's inside and is just mad at me for bringing up his past...I sigh, admittedly a little sad at the thought. I don't want him to be mad at me. I didn't know anyone else here, maybe that's why I was so seeking of his approval...maybe it's because I've never talked to people outside of my family that aren't doctors, maybe because I've never spoken to a man before...I only ever talked to my uncle and my father.. I frown, resting my he's against the door frame. Why do I worry so much? They tell me that’s its the Asbergers, it makes me more of a loner, which I am, but it apparently makes it hard for me to understand people on a emotional level ..so with that in mind I always felt like I was doing or saying something wrong.. so I stay away from people. I give it one last try, "If you're in there...a nurse is taking me into town today...I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come.. if you're in there.." I say.
Christian Wayland: I hear her words, but they sound further away than she actually is. I can hear the emotion in her voice, and instinct wants me to close up more. I can't ruin whatever it is I have with her, though. She's the only person in years I've ever felt any attachment for. It's incredibly hard, but I drag myself from the bed and take what feels like a thousand steps to the door. The doorknob turns, and I only open the door a crack before turning around and retreating back to my 'safe zone'. The closest thing she's going to get to a formal invitation to come in.
Alexis Berges: I hear the door open and raise my brows in slight surprise...so he was inside.. and he was ignoring me. I frown a little and walk in, closing the door behind me. I lean again it and listen for a moment to see if it was only him here. "Am I bothering you?" I ask, if I am I wish he'd just tell me instead of making me guess...I rub my arm, his silence makes me feel awkward. "..are you mad at me?" I ask.
Christian Wayland: I'm back to being curled up on the bed again. I'd answer her, but I don't know how well my voice is going to work after three days of not saying anything, and she's blind so she won't see if I nod or shake my head. Having opened the door to allow her entrance should be enough to show that I still care in some capacity.
Alexis Berges: I take it that he is...but why'd he let me in? I brush my hair back and let my hand fall to my neck after, rubbing it, frustrated. Why won't he answer me..? I say nothing for a long moment. "I'm sorry..." I finally say, my apology is quiet but I'm sure my voice conveyed that I truly meant it..
Christian Wayland: The first words out of my mouth in three days and they have to be "Stop apologizing," My voice cracks, but the silence on my end is finally broken, though I'm not compelled to say anything more.
Alexis Berges: I have to bite my lip to stop myself from apologizing.. for apologizing. I sigh a little and just stand there awkwardly, unsure what to do or say. I stop biting my lip so that it doesn't bleed. "..do you want to go into town with me?"
Christian Wayland: In to town? It's incredibly rare that I ever get the opportunity go outside of this place. Usually I'm the last one that comes up on the list, and even then, my 'day pass' is never a guarantee. I drag myself up to a sitting position, though I keep my eyes turned down towards the floor. "I guess," I finally answer after several more seconds, but there's not an ounce of emotion in my voice. It doesn't sound cold and uncaring, just.. emotionless.
Alexis Berges: I walk over to the end of the bed and lean over, resting my hands on it. I want to know what ups with him so I take my chance and push, "Are you okay?" I ask, looking up in the direction his voice had come from.
Christian Wayland: "Yes." A flat out lie, and she'll probably see right through it. There is something wrong with me, but I can't really pinpoint an exact cause. I glace towards her, from behind scraggly and unwashed hair, watching her to see what she's going to do. I don't feel threatened, I just don't want to get caught unguarded.
Alexis Berges: I sigh, "Then why are you acting so...dead?" I ask, it's the best way to explain it. He sounded like a corpse, emotionless and hoarse.
Christian Wayland: Welcome to another aspect of who I am. "I'm fine." I re-iterate, forcing emotion that just comes out sounding stressed and irritated, but I really don't mean it like that. I let out a sigh that sounds closer to how I feel, and drop my eyes back to the floor. It's hard to convey how I feel right now, but Alexis had the right idea. I personally would use the word empty rather than dead.
Alexis Berges: I sigh, I don't understand but he doesn't seem to want me to right now. All I know is I got that way when I felt like life wasn't going anywhere and I feel like that a lot here so it would make sense for him to feel a little shitty. "C'mon.." I say, "maybe you'll feel better with some fresh are.." I say and stand up straight. Going into town may do us both some good.
Christian Wayland: She might be right. I like being cooped up by myself, but maybe just having some of her company could make me feel better. She helped put me in this mood in the first place, maybe she's the right person to take me out of it. She'll hear the bedding shift as I lean and reach for my shoes, putting them on. I then get up and walk to the desk where I take a hooded sweatshirt from the back of the chair and pull it on. The hood will help with keeping the sun out of my eyes. I step over to Alexis once I'm prepped myself. "I'm ready,"
Alexis Berges: I listen to him move about until he's standing in front of me, "Okay.." I say, happy I could at least convince him to come out of his room. "Can you help me find the main entrance? The nurse is waiting for us there." I explain and turn around, feeling along the wall until I find the door handle.
Christian Wayland: "Sure," I reply when she asks for help. There's hesitation when it's my turn to step over the threshold of my room. It's like this every time. I take a deep breath and just go, taking a second for composure once I'm out in the hallway. I turn to look at Alexis, whom I know is waiting for my guidance. Since I'm not feeling particularly verbal, which is a must when being in Alexis' company, I reach out to take her hand. Mine will feel cold and maybe a little dry, thanks to the side-effects of the medications I've been forced to take. I give her hand a little tug towards her right "It's this way."
Alexis Berges: I hadn't expected that, really. It doesn't bother me that he's holding my hand, it's quite the opposite I realize, but I didn't let the thought stay for long. What really got me was I just thought it would be out of his nature, especially when he was in a obviously less then pleasant mood. I realize I'm looking into everything too much...so I stop, whisper a thank you and follow him. Christian, I realize, makes me have to think a lot...I just don't get him.
Christian Wayland: I don't say much else while guiding her to the main entrance, only giving her instructions relevant to surroundings and things to watch for. When we get there, and the nurse greets us, I let go of Alexis' hand and pull my hood up, fixing my hair so I can see, but still have enough covering that my eyes won't start to sting when we leave. I'm already squinting a little just being in the somewhat bright hallway.
Alexis Berges: It feels like he let go all to suddenly. I frown at myself, thoughts like that seem to come more and more often. I bite my lip a bit an ignore it. The nurse asks where we want to go first, I turn to Christian "Somewhere you want to go?" I ask, I had no where particular in mind so I'll let him pick first. I just wanted to get candy, a simple need but a nice thing to have here when you didn't have anything better to request.
Christian Wayland: I shrug. There's one thing I wouldn't mind getting more of, but it's not exactly something I can ask the nurse about, being that it's a little illegal since I don't have a prescription. If I think of anything else along the way, I'll probably mention it, but for now, "Whatever you want," I say to Alexis.
Alexis Berges: "Candy store...?" I suggest, a little embarrassed by such a childish request. But I couldn't think of anything else. "that okay...?" I asks. The nurse nods and leads us out to the car, trying to help me into the back but I brush her hands away and find my own way inside.
Christian Wayland: It just has to be a really nice day outside. I blink against the bright sun few times upon heading out the door, and keep my head down as I follow to the car. I get into the back next to Alexis and buckle up, as per the nurse's instructions.
Alexis Berges: I feel around and find the seat belt but have a hard time trying to click it and I get slightly frustrated. "I can't find it.." I sigh and try to find it again. I don't know why everything had been so frustrating. I give up and run my face. The nurse buckles Alexis and cranks the car.
Christian Wayland: I would've helped, had the nurse not gotten there first. As such, I just kind of sit and look out the window, watching the landscape pass. She was at least a little bit right in saying the fresh air might do me good. I'm feeling a little better, but still not enough to put effort into proper conversations. That could change though... I can't even remember what shops there are in the town near Blackthorn, so I could be find myself surprised.
Alexis Berges: I rest my head against the glass and for the first time in such a long time I feel sad...because I wish I could see.. I want to see what’s passing this car by, what color it is, how the sky looks, what Christian looks like...what -I- look like.. what do I look like? I frown deeper now, I don't remember what I look like since I was 3..am I pretty? I touch my face and wonder. I close my eyes and drop my hands, taking a shaky breath. The nurse asks me if I'm okay "y-yes.." I say quietly but give no more as I wait until we arrive.
Christian Wayland: When Alexis takes that shaky breath, I glance her way, seeing how sad she looks. It's a conflict of interest with her being sad and myself being selfish. I've gone almost too long without caring about her. It takes another push, but I reach over and take her hand, just holding it but saying nothing. Little bits of progress towards the mood of mine that Alexis prefers.
Alexis Berges: I'm surprised when I feel Christian take my hand, I look over, seeing nothing as always but I wonder what he looks like now. I say nothing but I lace my fingers with his, giving his hand a light squeeze to show that I appreciated it. He at least cared enough to give me that small comfort, it means a lot to me. Not long later we're in town, I know this because the nurse tells me and pulls up in front of the candy shop. I open the door but don’t let go of Christian, I know someone will have to lead my and I greatly prefer him over the nurse.
Christian Wayland: When we arrive, I go to let go of Alexis' hand so I can exit the car, but she's not so keen on letting me do that. I assume I'm going to have to compromise with her, so I unbuckle my seatbelt and shuffle myself across the seat to exit through her door. I know she's going to want me to help her along, to find things she's looking for and make sure she doesn't get hurt, and that's okay with me. We wait for the nurse, and then I lead Alexis towards the door, opening it for her to enter ahead of me. "The door's here," I say simply, propping the door with my foot, and guiding her free hand to the door frame so she knows where it is.
Alexis Berges: He's just full of surprises. One day I think he hates me and the next he's helping me like he actually cares.. maybe its just me confusing myself because I think so much. So I decide not to. I let him lead me along and help me find the door, "Thanks." I say and quite honestly? It's a little scaring being out and about, so I'm happy I have him with me and I'm even more happy to have him guide me, his hand in mine made me feel safer. "Hey Christian?" I say "what sort of candy do you like?" I ask and follow blindly after him, where ever he leads me.
Christian Wayland: I stop just inside the door, pulling the hood of my sweater down because it's not as bright in here. I take a second to look around, getting a feel for the layout of the shop, looking at Alexis when she asks me what type of sweets I prefer. I think the question over for a moment, before making a decision. "Toffee... or chocolate.."
Alexis Berges: "We should get both.." I say, "Red liquorice and pixie sticks too.." I tell him with a slight smile, I try to push my worries away and just enjoy the day out with him. "The doctors said I can have as much as I want. So you can too." I tell him, wondering if he enjoyed candy like it did.
Christian Wayland: Having my own little stash of sweets would be better than some of the food we're served. I haven't had anything nice like candy in a long while. Now armed with the knowledge of where Alexis would likely want to go, I guide her towards the liquorice first.
Alexis Berges: I follow after him, hearing people talking all around me. I ignore the voice to avoid getting nervous, "Are you feeling any better...?" I ask Christian, focusing on him instead of anything else. The nurse follows us closely.
Christian Wayland: "A bit," I reply, stopping in front of the display with the various liquorice and liquorice-like candy. "The liquorice... red is all you want?" I ask, reaching for a package.
Alexis Berges: I nod, "Yes, just red." I say "have you tried the black?" I ask, just to make conversation. "It taste like I think tree sap" I say, wrinkling my nose a little. "Some people like it"
Christian Wayland: "No, I don't like the black.." I reply. I hold the package of red liquorice out for her, making sure the package brushes her hand so she'll take it. We're limited on carrying capacity as long as I'm guiding her around the store. "How many packages do you want?"
Alexis Berges: "Just one is okay." I say and take the package, holding it against me. "We can go get something for you now?" I offer, a light courage comes over me and I rest my head against his arm, "what do you want first?"
What | AIM logs, Vol 2.
Status | Closed. (some logs incomplete)
Warnings | Awkwardness, Violent!Christian, Panic-Attack!Alexis, some fluffiness.
What | Where Christian saves Alexis from sexual assault.
Where | A hallway, and Alexis’ room.
Alexis Berges: Today wasn’t a good day. I felt him following me so I tried to get to a public place quickly...but I soon felt my back pressed against the cold walls and his hands rested lightly at my hips, I slap at him, "Stop don't touch me." I say as sternly as I can, fear bubbling up in me and threatening to choke me. He does stop an I hear him whisper for me not to tell anyone and it would be okay. My suspicion wasn't even as bad...I yell but he covers my mouth and instantly I freak out, kicking and screaming as I felt his hand slide under my dress. Panic. Chaos. Terror. That's all I hear in my mind and I know I was having a panic attack, I feel like I can't breath and my entire body is shaking. My suspicion of doctors is true. They only want us for one reason. I feel a hand pulling at my underwear and I try to stop it.
Christian Wayland: I've been wandering around aimlessly all morning, just kind of zoned out in my own little world, thanks to a certain substance I was able to get my hands on during a recent trip in to town. As I'm moving down one of the corridors, I hear someone call out but then get sharply cut off. I don't recognize the voice. Time is moving too slow, like someone pressed the 'slo-mo' button. It's not until I round another corner that I see him, towering over Alexis and definitely not looking like he was trying to help. I'm a little slow on the uptake, but my feelings for Alexis have my body moving two steps ahead of my brain. Before I've fully processed anything, I'm pulling at the nurse's arm, shouting at him to let her go.
Alexis Berges: I hear someone yell, but I feel like I'm underwater, nothing sounds right. I'm too far gone in panic to do anything but keep kicking and now that the hand on my mouth is gone, my screams ring out again. The nurse obviously wasn’t happy to be interrupted by whoever it was stopping him and soon I heard a huge thumb, it sounded like the nurse punched the man. He let go of me and I slide on the wall to the floor, curling into a tight ball. I should probably run but those thoughts are far gone, I can't focus on anything but breathing as those thoughts of being hurt as a little girl flood me and feel so real again.
Christian Wayland: A fist connects with my face, but I'm hardly phased; there's far too many endorphin's in my blood right now for me to feel it. I respond with my own punch, hitting him square in the nose, followed by a punch to his stomach, and then a kick to the shin for posterity. "Get the fuck out of here," I growl at him, keeping my guard up in case he's going to come back for more.
Alexis Berges: Obviously the nurse didn't like that a patient could do him damage but still he didn't need to get in trouble, no one was meant to know of him and Alexis. So he splits, running down the hall. I still lay there on the floor, my wits still evade me so I can't figure out what’s going on. It whimper and cries quietly, hugging my knees as if I'm holding myself together for I don't fall to pieces.
Christian Wayland: I stand for a second, watching him run and feeling very smug about myself before remembering Alexis is still crumbled on the floor. I rub the bruise forming on my cheek and walk over to her, kneeling next to her. "Hey," I whisper, bending right down so my face is next to hers. "Hey, Alexis."
Alexis Berges: I gasp when I hear a voice right in front of me and shrink away, tears still flooding my eyes. I start to come around, enough to try figuring out who it was. It took me a moment to realize it was Christian. I sniffle and hide my face, so embarrassed, he did nothing but touch me but I felt so dirty, like I felt back then. Disgusting and worthless. I sill tremble but I'm pulling myself back together now. I open my mouth to try to say something but all that comes out is a choked sob.
Christian Wayland: Still in a relative haze, I'm completely at a loss of what to do with her. I can't leave her here, but would she trust me enough to help? "Here, lets get you out of here," I place my hand over one of hers, knowing that she'll probably freak out more. I try being stern with her, hoping it might help me get through to her.. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm taking you to a safe place."
Alexis Berges: I jump when he touches me but I don't react much beyond that, oddly so. After what just happened I'm amazed to find that a touch can be comforting instead of purely terrifying. I take deep breath, I want to say that there are no safe places but I can't get those words on my lips without more sobs falling out. I feel weak, there was no way I could stand up and just walk away. There was no where sage to go anyway, out here or in a room were just the same.
Christian Wayland: I figured it would come to this. In one foul swoop, I scoop the girl up, holding her bridal style. She's surprisingly light, considering what little strength I have. "I've got you, you'll be fine," I try to reassure her as I take the first few steps back down the corridor. Hopefully the burnt grass smell all over my clothing doesn't do anything to distress her more because right now, I've completely forgotten about it. "Your room's closest, we'll go there, okay?"
Alexis Berges: I do pick up on the smell, I can't name it though, it's not horribly unpleasant but just.. bleak. I bite my lip and focus on staying calm while he held me, I haven't been picked up since I was a little girl, it was so strange. I'm coherent enough to understand him so I nod but I still can't talk, scared the sobs would break loose again.
Christian Wayland: We make it there as quick as I can manage, and I place her down onto the bed, leaving her side only long enough to go and shut the door. I walk back and take a seat on the bed next to her. "You're okay?" I ask, after giving her a few moments.
Alexis Berges: I rub my temples and try to stop the sniffling. "y-yes..." I say and rub my arms, trying to get rid of the chills. I’m still trying to get a hold of myself but I knew I would be haunted by this for a long time.. The next thing I do is something odd. I sit up and wrap my arms around one of Christians and say nothing.
Christian Wayland: She latches on and I don't say a thing. Instead, I brush some hair from her face, then some tears from her cheeks. She needs to ride this out in her own time. I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, finally feeling my cheek start to burn. It's no doubt gone purple and blue, but I won't know that until I see another mirror.
Alexis Berges: It's so out of character for me to purposely touch someone like I was Christian. But he saved me. And I felt deeply that he wouldn't hurt me...at least in -that- way. I close my eyes, my nose brushing against his arm. I take deep breaths and after maybe 20 minutes I'm calm again. "Did he hurt you...?" I asks now that I can breath
Christian Wayland: I grunt in reply, the pain now having had time to spread and trigger a dull headache. Too much movement, and I could end up with a migraine that wouldn't help Alexis at all. "I'll be fine."
Alexis Berges: I frown "You're hurt.." I say and sit up a little more, "I'm sorry..." I sniffle because I know it's my fault and it makes me feel bad...I don't know what it is that makes Christian special, but he was different to me then other people, he didn't make me feel constantly scared or like I could be hurt at any moment. He was just...just something. I haven't even bothered with my bruises that run along my arms and hips from him holding me so roughly, I bruise easily. Not that I can see them but I've been told and I feel them.
Christian Wayland: I open one eye so I can properly see when I press a finger to her lips. "It's nothing," I stress. "Just shh. I'm trying to avoid a migraine." My other hand reaches into my pocket and produces something I was going to save for later, had the nurse not interrupted me and caused all this grief. "Would you be offended if I smoked a joint? I'll be less likely to have an episode... and I'm willing to split it..." I normally wouldn't ask, but this is her room, and she's the one who's distressed and needs comfort. I'm just looking out for safety right now, which includes me and my AiWS.
Alexis Berges: I’m surprised when he touches my lips, a bit of a scary spot for me, like my neck, hips and obvious sexual places. But I realize his intention quickly so I don't freak. "A joint...?" I say, my brows push together a little, "I won't be offended." I respond, nibbling my lip. "I've never done that...so I better pass." I say politely. I was scared of such things. So many horror stories from my parents did that.
Christian Wayland: "It's good for pain," I mutter around the joint, which I've now placed between my lips. I light it, and take the first, long drag, holding it in, as evident by the way my next few words sound. "I won't force you though," I turn my head away from her and exhale "More for me." I'm addicted only in the sense that it helps keep the AiWS and associated migraines under control. Rationing is hard, since I only get more when I'm allowed a trip in to town.
Alexis Berges: "Will it hurt me...?" I asks, I don't think he'd do something to hurt me...and it's not hurting him.. "I'm curious...I'm just a little nervous...what if my brain hemorrhages?" I say. I may sound a little silly but I was just cautious.
Christian Wayland: I smirk a little as I take the next puff. "You might cough a little at first... it does different things for different people. Makes me numb, slows things down." I pause, taking another drag and holding it in. This one makes me cough on the exhale, and Alexis will hear me pound on my chest as I try to catch my breath properly.
Alexis Berges: I bite my lip because his cough sounded bad. I take a deep breath, "I'll try it.." I say, and of I don't like it I just won't ever do it again, right? I realize I'm still attached to him and I slowly let go now.
Christian Wayland: "Sorry," I mutter after clearing my throat. "You're sure you want to try?" I reach for her hand and carefully make sure she'd holding the joint correctly. "You can back out any time..."
Alexis Berges: I purse my lips a little and don't respond. I take a drag but I don't think it hit my lungs so I do it again and hold it... it sure as hell did this time because I cough like I inhaled sand. I've never even smoked a cigarette so that was ..new. I blush brightly, sure I looked like a fool.
Christian Wayland: First thing I do when she starts coughing is make sure the burning paper and herb doesn't drop and set the bed on fire. Second, I give her back a rub, letting her cough it out. "I know it burns," I acknowledge, "You're okay."
Alexis Berges: I take deep breaths best I can, "That feels horrible.." I choke again and touch my head because I feel a little swimmy already. "How's it help pain if it hurts?" I ask. It did burn and I don't feel different. But I lean slightly to the right without realizing in doing it.
Christian Wayland: "You get used to it." Is all I can think to offer in reply. My own pain is already slipping away, and I wave the glowing tip of the joint in front of my face, watching the ember trail slower than I was moving it. "It takes a while, though."
Alexis Berges: I nod a little and tug on the fabric of my shirt idly. "Hey Christian..." I say "why...would you let yourself be hurt to help me?" I ask
Christian Wayland: I shrug. "I don't know.. instinct? I saw you, saw him, and something clicked..." The joint is a little over half gone now and I absently hold it out to her. "Another drag?"
Alexis Berges: I masochistically try another drag, I cough again but not as bad. "Thank you.. for saving me." I say and nod "so much..."
Christian Wayland: I reach an arm around her and pull her closer without much thinking. "He was an asshole," I'm smiling a little, and she no doubt heard it in my words.
Alexis Berges: I feel a little fuzzy, his arm around me doesn't bug me like it normally would. It just didn't really seem to matter right now. I rest my head on his shoulder "Yes. He keeps bothering me but he never went that far.." I say
Christian Wayland: I rest my cheek on the top of her head. "He shouldn't bother you again, I broke his nose. Explaining that will be hard." I close my eyes and watch faint colours swirl behind my eyelids. "I won't always be there, though..."
Alexis Berges: I know he won't always be there, that scares me..."I know." I say, it's amazing how close I am to him and yet I feel alright. I feel a little hum of energy in me and yet such a mellowness. "Thanks still.."
Christian Wayland: "Mmm.." I reply, finishing the last smokable piece of the joint. I reach down as best as I can without moving too much to stub it out on the bottom of my shoe and place the spent butt on the nightstand. Alexis embodies so much of what I've never had before in the way of a friend, a family... the only person I've ever considered letting in. I give her a light squeeze, a silent thank you, fully aware that my more unusual actions were normally non-existent actions caused by the marijuana.
Alexis Berges: I feel my cheeks heat up a little when he squeezes me. I wonder why he's even touching me...why I'm letting him. Thought aside I don't pull away, but rather enjoy the strange sensation of being touched and not feeling so scared, it's been foreign to me. The only person that could in the way Christian was had been my twin sister. Never anyone outside of my family and especially a man...but yet here I am. I feel slower, light weight, if that makes sense. Every touch vibrates, like when you touch your leg after its coming around from falling asleep. I assume it's the drugs so I don't worry.
Christian Wayland: It's good to know that she's calmed down from the ordeal. I know it's not going to go away, the same as I know when my high wears off, a migraine will probably be right around the corner. When that happens, I plan to be back in my room, alone, able to deal with it myself. In the meantime, this quiet and decidedly not awkward moment is nice. I'm finding myself able to switch off, yet still have something invested into the situation for when it's needed..
Alexis Berges: I sigh softly, a relaxed noise. I think a moment before I say "Want to play a game again?" I ask, wanting to break the silence, not that it was uncomfortable. "I can start if you like." I offer, my head still rested on him.
Christian Wayland: With my mind disconnected, it takes a second for her words to reach the processors. When they do, the response I give is a little slurred, with everything back into a 'slo-mo' for me. "Alright, sure."
Alexis Berges: "What's your favorite color?" I ask, simply and innocent. I may ask bigger things later but right now I was just playing it easy. I feel like my thoughts are just strolling along as they please, slow and relaxed instead of the usual brisk run they were usually at. It was odd.
Christian Wayland: "Blue," I reply after a moment. Nice and neutral. I suppose this is 20 Questions again, which would mean her question needed to be reciprocated. I ask the first thing that comes to mind: "What's your favourite animal?"
Alexis Berges: "Horses.." I say. Which is strange because they're the reason I'm blind.. it's the only animal I remember in great detail. "Where would you want to go if you could go anywhere?" I ask
Christian Wayland: There's no real contest in my mind. "Home.." It's a moot point though, since I really don't have a home outside of Blackthorn. I'm really meaning more of wanting to go back to Ireland, but it didn't occur to me to be that specific. "How did you become blind?"
Alexis Berges: I'm surprised he would pick such a question so fast...I take a deep breath, "Um...I was 3..I snuck into my uncles horse pen.. the horse kicked me, in the head. I was in a coma for a long time...they thought I'd die. But when I came around.. I was blind." I say with a frown
Christian Wayland: It was interesting that she answered so willingly, yet I was left a little confused. "Why do you still like horses, then?" I've never really trusted them, and if one kicked me, I don't think I'd want to be around them ever again.
Alexis Berges: I don't know why I answered, but maybe it was because I wanted honest answers if I ever asked him such personal things.." They remind me of home." I say, "I remember them in detail in my mind ..." I shrug. He asked personally, my next would be as well "Why we're you in foster care?" I ask
Christian Wayland: I shrug. "Just was." Every time I asked about my parents, the subject was always danced around, and by the time I ended up in the home for troubled youth, I stopped asking, realizing it was probably for the same reason I was shuffled through the system, from one home to another; that there was something wrong with me.
Alexis Berges: I frown "You just were...?" I ask, "I don't think your parents would just ...get rid of you at random.." I say but feel like I'm prying too far in so I stop.
Christian Wayland: "I don't know anything about them." I think this is the most personal confession I've made to Alexis yet. I sit up a little, and look her straight in the eye, a little of that pent up anger for the past showing through. "Four foster homes and a home for troubled youth make it obvious that something's wrong, don't you think?"
Alexis Berges: I shake my head, "I think it was something wrong with them. Not you." I say, I'm being honest. It's never a kid fault for being given away, especially of they're young. "I don't think it was your fault." I say, I feel his eyes on my and I look down.
Christian Wayland: The agitation is still there. "I'm institutionalized. There's obviously something wrong. They all saw it." I bring a hand up and pinch the bridge of my nose. She means well, I know, but 24 years of believing it's my fault is hard to undo.
Alexis Berges: I just sigh a little, I know how he feels because I felt like that being sent here. "You're sick, Christian. They couldn't have known that." I say and shrug. I take a breath, lightly touching his shoulder.
Christian Wayland: "Or, they just didn't want to have to deal with me. Making up every excuse they could think of, even illness, to get rid of me." A sensitive switch has been tripped, and yes, I am just stubborn enough that I'll continue to argue.
Alexis Berges: "I don't see why." I say, "I think your fascinating.." I say, not much worried about it, still under the influence of weed. I wrap my arms back around one of his, "I think they were insane." I mumble
Christian Wayland: "Why, because I'm the only one who will pay you any mind besides the nurses?" The words just came pouring out since I had clicked into defence mode and a 'Christian is nothing' state of mind. "I don't need your pity."
Alexis Berges: I bite my lip and pull away, my face hot and cherry red. That wasn't my reason but I couldn't explain why to him because I myself didn't understand it...I'm just embarrassed right now and I don't know what to say to him. "I-I'm sorry..." is all I can think to say and it almost comes out like a question, my voice broke because I can't deal with things like this, people don't always make sense and I just don't know what to do and I get scared and freaked out when I can't make sense of things so I feel my eyes well up with tears.
Christian Wayland: Instinct makes me want to call her pathetic, to say to her no wonder that nurse took advantage of her when she makes it too easy by being so small and defenceless. To question why I even bothered with her in the first place. I don't say any of this though, because that piece of me that cares for her stops me. I get up and pace the room, frustrated because I can't say any of it.
Alexis Berges: I sigh a little and wipe my eyes, "sorry..." I apologize time for getting emotional. I stand up, rubbing my arms "do you want me to leave...?" I asks quietly, "I...I was only trying to help.."
Christian Wayland: I let out a growl and kick the desk. "Stop apologizing!" Gripping the back of the desk's chair, I sigh. Do I want her to leave? It's her room, I should be the one leaving. "Do what you want," I say with another sigh, "I don't care."
Alexis Berges: I jump when I hear his violent reaction. I couldn't risk caring what he wanted or that it was my room I just need to get away from him. I reach out, finding the door and walking our quickly, closing it behind me. I sigh I don't know what happened...
Christian Wayland: Sometimes I just get set off, and I guess talking about the foster homes and my parents happened to be today's hot-button topic. I go to follow Alexis out the door, but instead of confronting her, I breeze past her, on the way to my own room, needing to be by myself to cool down.
Alexis Berges: I cringe when my door opens, I didn't know why he was coming out here, I had to admit I was scared. When he leaves I go back in my room and lay down. Trying to sort out what happened, I didn't mean to offend him or upset him...I didn't want him to be mad at me..
Christian Wayland: Maybe an hour after I had stormed out of Alexis' room, there was a huge ruckus going on - lots of shouting, banging, smashing. Obviously a fight of some sort going on. Alexis would be able to hear snippets of what the staff that are running by her door are saying - things about sedation, restraint, a violent patient - but no one was saying who the patient was.
Alexis Berges: I don't know why my first thought was Christian but it was. So I peek out of my door, listening to the running staff. I walk out and feel along the walls until I was close enough to ear what was happening
Christian Wayland: There was a full fledged fight in the process of being broken up in the common room Alexis had come to. Amid all of the shouting, she would be able to hear me screaming slander, but might not register right away that my opponent is the same nurse who had given her trouble earlier today. There's more crashing noises as I struggle against the men restraining me, my foot hitting a vase that was sitting on a table and sending it to the floor.
Alexis Berges: I listen to the chaos and recognize Christian. I listen harder and recognize the man that followed me around and tried to hurt me. I walk forward, arms held out in front of me, "Christian?!" I say
Christian Wayland: I don't immediately hear Alexis, more concerned with the struggle and trying to get free. It's hard, but I manage to slip out, lunging for the nurse and putting everything I have into tackling him to the ground, then just laying into him. The whole thing's a complete mess with blood flying everywhere and my complete disregard for my own safety. This asshole confronted me, to show me a lesson after I had attacked him this morning, but I was going to have none of it.
Alexis Berges: I cant see so I don't fully know what's going on, I move forward but am stopped by a nurse, "Stop! What's happening ?" I asks, frantic. My first thought was that the nurse man came to hurt Christian.
Blackthorn Nurse: "Miss, I need you to go back to your room now," The nurse says to Alexis, taking her hand to guide her back to her room.
Christian Wayland: On the other side of the room, I'm pulled off the male nurse and restrained again, a straightjacket put on, and then being dragged off towards my room, where they'll no doubt strap me to the bed for three days... or longer, if I'm still putting up a fuss.
Alexis Berges: I slap the woman's hand away, "Don't TOUCH me!!" I hiss because I'm so sick of being manhandled and touched at all, it's the reason I'm here and they're intensifying it. "Just stop!" I yell, so out of my nature to get loud, "Tell me what's happening! What're you doing to Christian?" I ask and slap her hands away again.
Blackthorn Nurse: "Miss," The nurse signals to two other staff members "I'm not going to tell you again, you need to go back to your room. Christian is just having a little problem, but he's being looked after. He'll be /fine/."
Alexis Berges: "Stop hiding things from me! I'm not crazy! I'm only here because I'm scared of YOU doctors! And I should be! That man fighting with Christian tried to rape me!" I yell, though even when I'm loud I'm still tame. I finally say the word rape "Christian stopped him and saved me!"
Christian Wayland: The nurse obviously doesn't believe her. The two support staff she called in both grab Alexis by an arm. "Take her to her room," She instructs, "I'll go talk to the doctor, see if I can't get something to calm her down."
Alexis Berges: I instantly start screaming, Calling out for the head doctor I'd met, "Adrien! Adrien! Help!!" I scream and fight against them.
Adrien Blackthorn: Lucky for Alexis me and my brother Dominic were already on our way to the ruckus. I suddenly hear Alexis scream and take off running with my twin. "What's going on?" I ask when I enter the room. Dominic looks frustrated to be having these issues so early on whereas Adrien looks worried.
Blackthorn Nurse: The nurse looks surprised, but immediately puts on an air of professionalism. "Oh, Doctors, there was a minor disturbance, but we have it under control. I was just advising Miss LaBlanc to allow these gentlemen to escort her back to her room, where it's safe."
Alexis Berges: I'm still freaking out when the twins enter and I'm frantically wondering where Christian is, "Where's Christian??" I asks, fighting away from the nurse
Adrien Blackthorn: "Dominic will go see to him." I say with authority "please release Alexis, she has aphephobia and I'm certain you're scaring her." I say and once they tell me I send Dominic after Christian.
Dominic Blackthorn: Dominic sighs and goes to where Christian was held, "Christian?" he says and walks up to the man in the straight jacket "what happened?"
Christian Wayland: I'm thrashing about the moment the doctor walks into the room, looking incredibly angry and very much disturbed. I squeeze my eyes shut a few times and try to shake the matted hair from my face. When I talk, it's a stuttered growl. "F-fuck you and fuck your n-nurses."
Blackthorn Nurse: Back with Alexis, the nurse does as she's told, giving a curt nod to the good doctor. "I am sorry, sir. I'll go about my other duties now. Excuse me." She motions for the other two who were holding Alexis to follow.
Dominic Blackthorn: Dominic drowns "Alexis and Dr Adrian said to check on you and find out what happened. So cool it and explain" he says, a low tolerance for the patients.
Adrien Blackthorn: I stop the nurse "What exactly happened here?" I ask her, brushing my hair out of my face and looks at Alexis who looks terrified and the guilty looking makes nurse.
Alexis Berges: I hug myself, thank god for Adrian. I wait to hear the nurse side of the story before I say anything
Christian Wayland: "If you s-staff k-knew how to do their j-jobs and not ATTACK PATIENTS!" I rock in the chair they have me strapped to, knowing the effort wouldn't get me anywhere but trying anyways. The room's bright, I'm pissed off, my head hurts, and I can't tell which of the Blackthorn twins I'm talking to because I have one black eye and the other one is going nuts with proportion and perspective distortion.
Blackthorn Nurse: The nurse stops and turns back. "Yes, of course. I'm terribly sorry. It would seem Mr. Wayland attacked a staff member. We tried to handle it as tactfully as possible. The nurse said he has no idea how it happened - he was making his rounds, and out of nowhere, the patient came at him."
Dominic Blackthorn: "Forget that for a moment and tell me what happened so I can get to the bottoms of this!" Dominic raises his voice, he made it obvious who he was because of his temper.
Alexis Berges: "You're lying!" I say, mad at the nurse, "That man tried to ..rape me the other day.. Christian stopped him!" I say "He probably wanted to get him back.." I say.
Adrien Blackthorn: I frown, "I'll look into this and see if it's the truth. Until then I suppose that Christian will have to be quarantined and I will watch this accused nurse...Alexis please go back to your room, it'll be okay I promise"
Christian Wayland: I go limp in the chair and grit my teeth, almost muttering my answer. "He tried to rape Alexis..." I'm not proud of myself for admitting I helped her in any capacity, but by getting the information out there, hopefully this whole debacle will be avoided in the future. "The pig deserved what he got."
Blackthorn Nurse: "I can only go by what I have been told," The nurse says to Alexis, before turning back to Adrien. "Very well sir. Will there be anything else?"
Adrien Blackthorn: "No. Nothing else." I say and signal her that she's free to leave. I stand in front of Alexis "Are you okay..?" I ask.
Dominic Blackthorn: Dominic frowns "Alright then. Adrien will be here later. Just.. relax." he says and walks out to find his brother.
Alexis Berges: I jump back when I feel him move closer "Yes. Is Christian?" I asks, I don't know why I worry but I do. "Can we go check?"
Adrien Blackthorn: "He's dangerous right now so I can't let you see him. But please go to your room. I will check the security cameras for evidence and I'll get back to you both fast" I say. I see Dominic walk in now "what did he say?"
Dominic Blackthorn: "He said that the nurse tried to rape Alexis." Dominic says. "Take Alexis to her room I'm going check the cameras.
Adrien Blackthorn: I do as my brother says and take Alexis back to her room and try to calm her. I later get word that Alexis assault is on the cameras. Security seizes the man who tried to rape her and I go with Alexis to retrieve Christian. We walk inside his solitary room.
Christian Wayland: I'm still sitting limp in the chair, having completely tired myself out with all of the resistance. I'm just kind of staring at the wall, watching it pulse and swirl with each pound that my head makes. When I hear two sets of footsteps enter the room, I don't move my gaze. "I told you what you needed to know. Leave me alone."
Adrien Blackthorn: "I'm Doctor Adrien Blackthorn, you spoke with my brother Dominic. It's been confirmed that you're innocent of any blame so I've come to let you out if you're calm enough" I explain.
Alexis Berges: I listen to Christian and Adrien speak. I sigh, I still think Christian hates me after the last time... And now he was hurt because of the nurse and that was my fault too...I nibble my lip and stay near the door
Christian Wayland: So just like that? I was expecting quarantine for longer, I wanted to get well acquainted with this jacket. I chuckle, though it sounds a little demented. "I attacked him and you're letting me go..." I drag my eyes to the pair of them, and recognize Alexis over by the door. "And you brought her too... I thought I was dangerous?"
Adrien Blackthorn: "I'm not an idiot, Christian. He deserved it but please refrain from anymore fights alright?" I say "you were dangerous to the doctor but I don't believe you'd hurt a girl you protected" I explain. I think I better sedate him before returning him to his room
Alexis Berges: I look down when he mentions me. Biting my lip a little hard. I just don't know how to deal with him and that makes me nervous
Christian Wayland: "Heee deserved it," I echo, shifting in my seat. If I could, I probably would've given the doctor a salute when he instructs me to refrain from getting into any more fights. Instead, my head bobs up and down, with fingers crossed beneath the sleeve of the jacket. It's not the first, and definitely not the last fight I'll ever see... just the first where the intention wasn't to put myself in a coma.
Adrien Blackthorn: I frown and decide not to unbound Christian until he calms down. I keep Alexis behind me also. "You have to calm down, ok?" I tell the man.
Alexis Berges: My brows push together, why is he acting this way? It makes me a little nervous along with the worry from thinking he was hurt.. "Are you alright?" I ask
Christian Wayland: At the moment, I'm about as calm as I'm going to get, without having been given any medication or sedation. If he were to unbind me now, it would be hard to say what would happen next. He was right in saying earlier that I wouldn't hurt Alexis, and I'm not stupid enough to attack one of the head doctors. My head lulls back to one side. "I don't know, I mutter, not offering much of a proper answer. to either of them.
What | Where Alexis invited Christian on a trip in to town.
Where | Christian’s room and in the nearby town.
Christian Wayland: I've spent the better part of three days alone in my room, only disturbed to be given food and medication. It wasn't so much the effects of the sedation, as it was the general 'excitement' of the interactions had tired me out, body and mind. I have been in no mood to be around anyone - not even Alexis. While the majority of my mind was enjoying the seclusion, there was still that small part of me wondering what she had thought. She's now seen me in two different positions of vulnerability, and has heard the kinds of things I will say to those who don't matter. I don't have the same sort of respect for the Blackthorn twins as Alexis does. To me, they're just another metaphorical restraint system. Currently, I'm sitting at the desk, picking through the lunch that was dropped there. It's nothing I'm too interested in - some sort of meat-veggie-potato meal. I've only eaten about half of the meat portion, and mixed the veggie and mashed potatoes around to simulate having eaten those two. Satisfied with the ruse, I pad right back to the bed where I lay down with my back to the majority of the room.
Alexis Berges: It's not that I'm avoiding anyone. But I haven't readily left to search out the company of anyone. I was appreciative that Adrien helped me, though I feel deeply he was another motive for helping besides just being nice. I don't trust him. Or any doctor or staff. They were all just here for money and the benefits. And I'm sure there are more staff here that just want to take advantage of me, thinking they can say I'm just crazy so they won't get in trouble...I sigh as I think this, hugging him knees where I sat in bed. Why was I here? How could this ever help me?...it couldn't. I'm only here because my parents got sick of caring for me. I don't trust them either, because there is no one to trust. No relative or friend, human or god can be trusted to look out for your best interest. I really don't want to move about after realizing I’m all I have. Christian crosses my mind but I dispel the thought, he doesn't like me, I offended him, why would he? I stand up out of bed, remembering that today I can go into town....maybe I'll ask Christian.. maybe he'll forgive me. I walk to his room, careful but quick because I don't like being in the halls, I felt like a target. I knock on his door and hope he opens.
Christian Wayland: There's no answer when Alexis knocks. When I get like this, it's hard to break through that wall that I put up against the outside. The staff usually like it because it means I won't be any trouble. They just have to do the bare minimum in the way of care, and that's exactly what I figure is going on with the knock on my door. It's probably the nurse coming to take away the tray of food.. or dose me again... or whatever it is they have to or want to do.
Alexis Berges: "Christian?" I call as I knock again, listening closely. I wonder if I got the wrong room. I touch the Braille next to his door, no, I had the right room. I wait patiently, maybe he was asleep ...I still worry about being in the hall, though. I knock again, "It's Alexis..." I say
Christian Wayland: Alexis.. do I really want to see her? Why is she here? I still don't answer her, but I do shift, hugging the portion of the pillow my head's not on to my chest. I think deep down I'm just a little anxious.
Alexis Berges: Maybe he's not inside...but something inside of me wonders of he's inside and is just mad at me for bringing up his past...I sigh, admittedly a little sad at the thought. I don't want him to be mad at me. I didn't know anyone else here, maybe that's why I was so seeking of his approval...maybe it's because I've never talked to people outside of my family that aren't doctors, maybe because I've never spoken to a man before...I only ever talked to my uncle and my father.. I frown, resting my he's against the door frame. Why do I worry so much? They tell me that’s its the Asbergers, it makes me more of a loner, which I am, but it apparently makes it hard for me to understand people on a emotional level ..so with that in mind I always felt like I was doing or saying something wrong.. so I stay away from people. I give it one last try, "If you're in there...a nurse is taking me into town today...I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come.. if you're in there.." I say.
Christian Wayland: I hear her words, but they sound further away than she actually is. I can hear the emotion in her voice, and instinct wants me to close up more. I can't ruin whatever it is I have with her, though. She's the only person in years I've ever felt any attachment for. It's incredibly hard, but I drag myself from the bed and take what feels like a thousand steps to the door. The doorknob turns, and I only open the door a crack before turning around and retreating back to my 'safe zone'. The closest thing she's going to get to a formal invitation to come in.
Alexis Berges: I hear the door open and raise my brows in slight surprise...so he was inside.. and he was ignoring me. I frown a little and walk in, closing the door behind me. I lean again it and listen for a moment to see if it was only him here. "Am I bothering you?" I ask, if I am I wish he'd just tell me instead of making me guess...I rub my arm, his silence makes me feel awkward. "..are you mad at me?" I ask.
Christian Wayland: I'm back to being curled up on the bed again. I'd answer her, but I don't know how well my voice is going to work after three days of not saying anything, and she's blind so she won't see if I nod or shake my head. Having opened the door to allow her entrance should be enough to show that I still care in some capacity.
Alexis Berges: I take it that he is...but why'd he let me in? I brush my hair back and let my hand fall to my neck after, rubbing it, frustrated. Why won't he answer me..? I say nothing for a long moment. "I'm sorry..." I finally say, my apology is quiet but I'm sure my voice conveyed that I truly meant it..
Christian Wayland: The first words out of my mouth in three days and they have to be "Stop apologizing," My voice cracks, but the silence on my end is finally broken, though I'm not compelled to say anything more.
Alexis Berges: I have to bite my lip to stop myself from apologizing.. for apologizing. I sigh a little and just stand there awkwardly, unsure what to do or say. I stop biting my lip so that it doesn't bleed. "..do you want to go into town with me?"
Christian Wayland: In to town? It's incredibly rare that I ever get the opportunity go outside of this place. Usually I'm the last one that comes up on the list, and even then, my 'day pass' is never a guarantee. I drag myself up to a sitting position, though I keep my eyes turned down towards the floor. "I guess," I finally answer after several more seconds, but there's not an ounce of emotion in my voice. It doesn't sound cold and uncaring, just.. emotionless.
Alexis Berges: I walk over to the end of the bed and lean over, resting my hands on it. I want to know what ups with him so I take my chance and push, "Are you okay?" I ask, looking up in the direction his voice had come from.
Christian Wayland: "Yes." A flat out lie, and she'll probably see right through it. There is something wrong with me, but I can't really pinpoint an exact cause. I glace towards her, from behind scraggly and unwashed hair, watching her to see what she's going to do. I don't feel threatened, I just don't want to get caught unguarded.
Alexis Berges: I sigh, "Then why are you acting so...dead?" I ask, it's the best way to explain it. He sounded like a corpse, emotionless and hoarse.
Christian Wayland: Welcome to another aspect of who I am. "I'm fine." I re-iterate, forcing emotion that just comes out sounding stressed and irritated, but I really don't mean it like that. I let out a sigh that sounds closer to how I feel, and drop my eyes back to the floor. It's hard to convey how I feel right now, but Alexis had the right idea. I personally would use the word empty rather than dead.
Alexis Berges: I sigh, I don't understand but he doesn't seem to want me to right now. All I know is I got that way when I felt like life wasn't going anywhere and I feel like that a lot here so it would make sense for him to feel a little shitty. "C'mon.." I say, "maybe you'll feel better with some fresh are.." I say and stand up straight. Going into town may do us both some good.
Christian Wayland: She might be right. I like being cooped up by myself, but maybe just having some of her company could make me feel better. She helped put me in this mood in the first place, maybe she's the right person to take me out of it. She'll hear the bedding shift as I lean and reach for my shoes, putting them on. I then get up and walk to the desk where I take a hooded sweatshirt from the back of the chair and pull it on. The hood will help with keeping the sun out of my eyes. I step over to Alexis once I'm prepped myself. "I'm ready,"
Alexis Berges: I listen to him move about until he's standing in front of me, "Okay.." I say, happy I could at least convince him to come out of his room. "Can you help me find the main entrance? The nurse is waiting for us there." I explain and turn around, feeling along the wall until I find the door handle.
Christian Wayland: "Sure," I reply when she asks for help. There's hesitation when it's my turn to step over the threshold of my room. It's like this every time. I take a deep breath and just go, taking a second for composure once I'm out in the hallway. I turn to look at Alexis, whom I know is waiting for my guidance. Since I'm not feeling particularly verbal, which is a must when being in Alexis' company, I reach out to take her hand. Mine will feel cold and maybe a little dry, thanks to the side-effects of the medications I've been forced to take. I give her hand a little tug towards her right "It's this way."
Alexis Berges: I hadn't expected that, really. It doesn't bother me that he's holding my hand, it's quite the opposite I realize, but I didn't let the thought stay for long. What really got me was I just thought it would be out of his nature, especially when he was in a obviously less then pleasant mood. I realize I'm looking into everything too much...so I stop, whisper a thank you and follow him. Christian, I realize, makes me have to think a lot...I just don't get him.
Christian Wayland: I don't say much else while guiding her to the main entrance, only giving her instructions relevant to surroundings and things to watch for. When we get there, and the nurse greets us, I let go of Alexis' hand and pull my hood up, fixing my hair so I can see, but still have enough covering that my eyes won't start to sting when we leave. I'm already squinting a little just being in the somewhat bright hallway.
Alexis Berges: It feels like he let go all to suddenly. I frown at myself, thoughts like that seem to come more and more often. I bite my lip a bit an ignore it. The nurse asks where we want to go first, I turn to Christian "Somewhere you want to go?" I ask, I had no where particular in mind so I'll let him pick first. I just wanted to get candy, a simple need but a nice thing to have here when you didn't have anything better to request.
Christian Wayland: I shrug. There's one thing I wouldn't mind getting more of, but it's not exactly something I can ask the nurse about, being that it's a little illegal since I don't have a prescription. If I think of anything else along the way, I'll probably mention it, but for now, "Whatever you want," I say to Alexis.
Alexis Berges: "Candy store...?" I suggest, a little embarrassed by such a childish request. But I couldn't think of anything else. "that okay...?" I asks. The nurse nods and leads us out to the car, trying to help me into the back but I brush her hands away and find my own way inside.
Christian Wayland: It just has to be a really nice day outside. I blink against the bright sun few times upon heading out the door, and keep my head down as I follow to the car. I get into the back next to Alexis and buckle up, as per the nurse's instructions.
Alexis Berges: I feel around and find the seat belt but have a hard time trying to click it and I get slightly frustrated. "I can't find it.." I sigh and try to find it again. I don't know why everything had been so frustrating. I give up and run my face. The nurse buckles Alexis and cranks the car.
Christian Wayland: I would've helped, had the nurse not gotten there first. As such, I just kind of sit and look out the window, watching the landscape pass. She was at least a little bit right in saying the fresh air might do me good. I'm feeling a little better, but still not enough to put effort into proper conversations. That could change though... I can't even remember what shops there are in the town near Blackthorn, so I could be find myself surprised.
Alexis Berges: I rest my head against the glass and for the first time in such a long time I feel sad...because I wish I could see.. I want to see what’s passing this car by, what color it is, how the sky looks, what Christian looks like...what -I- look like.. what do I look like? I frown deeper now, I don't remember what I look like since I was 3..am I pretty? I touch my face and wonder. I close my eyes and drop my hands, taking a shaky breath. The nurse asks me if I'm okay "y-yes.." I say quietly but give no more as I wait until we arrive.
Christian Wayland: When Alexis takes that shaky breath, I glance her way, seeing how sad she looks. It's a conflict of interest with her being sad and myself being selfish. I've gone almost too long without caring about her. It takes another push, but I reach over and take her hand, just holding it but saying nothing. Little bits of progress towards the mood of mine that Alexis prefers.
Alexis Berges: I'm surprised when I feel Christian take my hand, I look over, seeing nothing as always but I wonder what he looks like now. I say nothing but I lace my fingers with his, giving his hand a light squeeze to show that I appreciated it. He at least cared enough to give me that small comfort, it means a lot to me. Not long later we're in town, I know this because the nurse tells me and pulls up in front of the candy shop. I open the door but don’t let go of Christian, I know someone will have to lead my and I greatly prefer him over the nurse.
Christian Wayland: When we arrive, I go to let go of Alexis' hand so I can exit the car, but she's not so keen on letting me do that. I assume I'm going to have to compromise with her, so I unbuckle my seatbelt and shuffle myself across the seat to exit through her door. I know she's going to want me to help her along, to find things she's looking for and make sure she doesn't get hurt, and that's okay with me. We wait for the nurse, and then I lead Alexis towards the door, opening it for her to enter ahead of me. "The door's here," I say simply, propping the door with my foot, and guiding her free hand to the door frame so she knows where it is.
Alexis Berges: He's just full of surprises. One day I think he hates me and the next he's helping me like he actually cares.. maybe its just me confusing myself because I think so much. So I decide not to. I let him lead me along and help me find the door, "Thanks." I say and quite honestly? It's a little scaring being out and about, so I'm happy I have him with me and I'm even more happy to have him guide me, his hand in mine made me feel safer. "Hey Christian?" I say "what sort of candy do you like?" I ask and follow blindly after him, where ever he leads me.
Christian Wayland: I stop just inside the door, pulling the hood of my sweater down because it's not as bright in here. I take a second to look around, getting a feel for the layout of the shop, looking at Alexis when she asks me what type of sweets I prefer. I think the question over for a moment, before making a decision. "Toffee... or chocolate.."
Alexis Berges: "We should get both.." I say, "Red liquorice and pixie sticks too.." I tell him with a slight smile, I try to push my worries away and just enjoy the day out with him. "The doctors said I can have as much as I want. So you can too." I tell him, wondering if he enjoyed candy like it did.
Christian Wayland: Having my own little stash of sweets would be better than some of the food we're served. I haven't had anything nice like candy in a long while. Now armed with the knowledge of where Alexis would likely want to go, I guide her towards the liquorice first.
Alexis Berges: I follow after him, hearing people talking all around me. I ignore the voice to avoid getting nervous, "Are you feeling any better...?" I ask Christian, focusing on him instead of anything else. The nurse follows us closely.
Christian Wayland: "A bit," I reply, stopping in front of the display with the various liquorice and liquorice-like candy. "The liquorice... red is all you want?" I ask, reaching for a package.
Alexis Berges: I nod, "Yes, just red." I say "have you tried the black?" I ask, just to make conversation. "It taste like I think tree sap" I say, wrinkling my nose a little. "Some people like it"
Christian Wayland: "No, I don't like the black.." I reply. I hold the package of red liquorice out for her, making sure the package brushes her hand so she'll take it. We're limited on carrying capacity as long as I'm guiding her around the store. "How many packages do you want?"
Alexis Berges: "Just one is okay." I say and take the package, holding it against me. "We can go get something for you now?" I offer, a light courage comes over me and I rest my head against his arm, "what do you want first?"