(no subject)
pay no attention...just one of my psychotic rants.
I tend to get pissed off and hate people when I know I can't know them or be like them.
I'm sensitive and jealous. Two wonderful reasons to hate me.
I wish I could give you more reasons to care.
More reasons for anyone to think for a split second that I was something more than average.
I hate how I use love and hate - two words of extreme --as if there were no medium.
I never mean to burn bridges. I never mean to be "leech" like. because you know when I'm desperate and scared I am like that. Wether it be scared to be alone, scared everyone I know hates me, or scared that I'm not enough --- desperate for something better than what I've got.
I absolutely hate pouring out my emotions knowing that other people feel the exact same way -- that it's cliche and there isn't much special or any answer because no one fucking knows.
I hate my neagtivity.
I don't even fucking know what love is. I don't even belive in it. I believe in love, but screw that fairytale bull crap that everyones been fed as a child.
Giving more praise than deserved and seeing how beautiful people truely are as I meet will be the death of me.
Perhaps, we'll all be on the same level - one day.
and maybe I just scare people off because they realize I'm not above average to others.. and that's all they want to be (above average) also.
except maybe it doesn't really matter and I'm just making up an unwinnable arguement.
Ugh. I don't feel any better....
"okay" isn't enough.
"fine" isn't enough.
"alright" isn't enough.
"decent" isn't enough.
perfect doesn't exist (or so I've been told)
what the hell is there?
--------I'm done. because this is pointless----
especially when you ask question you already know the answers to......
I tend to get pissed off and hate people when I know I can't know them or be like them.
I'm sensitive and jealous. Two wonderful reasons to hate me.
I wish I could give you more reasons to care.
More reasons for anyone to think for a split second that I was something more than average.
I hate how I use love and hate - two words of extreme --as if there were no medium.
I never mean to burn bridges. I never mean to be "leech" like. because you know when I'm desperate and scared I am like that. Wether it be scared to be alone, scared everyone I know hates me, or scared that I'm not enough --- desperate for something better than what I've got.
I absolutely hate pouring out my emotions knowing that other people feel the exact same way -- that it's cliche and there isn't much special or any answer because no one fucking knows.
I hate my neagtivity.
I don't even fucking know what love is. I don't even belive in it. I believe in love, but screw that fairytale bull crap that everyones been fed as a child.
Giving more praise than deserved and seeing how beautiful people truely are as I meet will be the death of me.
Perhaps, we'll all be on the same level - one day.
and maybe I just scare people off because they realize I'm not above average to others.. and that's all they want to be (above average) also.
except maybe it doesn't really matter and I'm just making up an unwinnable arguement.
Ugh. I don't feel any better....
"okay" isn't enough.
"fine" isn't enough.
"alright" isn't enough.
"decent" isn't enough.
perfect doesn't exist (or so I've been told)
what the hell is there?
--------I'm done. because this is pointless----
especially when you ask question you already know the answers to......