(no subject)
Am highly irate and bipolar at the moment.
Want to drop off the face of the fanfic universe again.
Am v. v. frustrated. Not even sure if I like CloudxRiku anymore.
Tis true. Am not sure if I like them because I just like them anymore or because I just have to like them to finish the story. Cause I think I like them. Maybe am just burned out. Perhaps should focus on RonxDraco or NarutoxSasuke (am slightly burned out on ShikaIno. Did that shit fast).
Have been especially obsessed with Cloud lately, though.
It's bound to happen after 71 chapters, though, right. It's almost two effing years that I've been working on this effing story. I want to spit on it.
Perhaps that's my frustration with poetry coming out...I've said I want to spit on many things today.
But seriously, I need to take a hiatus at some point. Probably after I finish 100 Steps, but god, how long is that seriously going to be? I know I got myself into this, but it's effing driving me up a wall. I'm like, seriously, break up already, or stop being so emo, or something, goddamnit.
I'm such a bitch. Such an unpleasant fucking bitch when I'm frustrated. Maybe I can't handle so much Cloud and Riku because I am equally unhappy. I'm a bitcher.
I don't even know why I'm writing this post. Putting off doing things I should be doing instead I guess.
Because I'm an unhappy, unpleasant, obnoxious bitcher. God, I annoy myself.
Oh, this isn't a good sign. This is hardcore mania coming on, I think. Being bipolar is insanely annoying. Maybe it's depression. Maybe it's just because I'm sick, stressed out, and broke. I've been in generally negative moods lately. Unhappy. Frustrated. Annoyed. Miserable.
Except when I think of Cloudy. And then I am happy.
Unless I think about having to write the next chapter. Because I'm at the point where I stare at the screen and think about how much I wish I could just put my head to the screen and have the chapter magically appear through osmosis. Aly thinks it would never works. She says the chapter would come out messy and disjointed. I think it would be the greatest move in technology since iPod. iThink. How's that, Apple? Whaddya think?
I think I should stop posting obscenly asinine posts in my journal where people can actually read them and keep my thoughts to myself.
Cause, apparently, people read my journal, and I don't always put my best foot forward.
Will work on original Keeper story after I finish 100 Steps. Really will. Because at least I can try and get that published. If Twilight was published, anything can happen.
Because Twilight is a piece of shit, I don't care what anyone says. Am too stubborn and a bitch to have anyone even try to convince me otherwise. I hear someone say something positive and I gag.
But it's best if I don't go off about Twilight. Because I hate that series with enough venom to fill a book. I hate that series more than I hate Obama. I hate that series more than I hate RonxHermione. I hate that series more than I hate having my period and being ridiculously sick.
Which is how I am right now, by the way, which might explain this post. I have PMS and I'm congested and I can't breathe and I can't eat because I can't breathe when I eat. And I feel like I'm going to pass out all the time. And there's more grossness, but I won't put it in here because I too frequently gross people out because I'm the kind of person who can talk about vomit during dinner.
Something I think that's kind of weird about me? I feel bad for grapefruits.
Seriously. Because no one likes them. So I eat grapefruit because I feel bad for grapefruits. I'm actually starting to like it.
Then again, I'm the person who acquired a taste for coffee and espresso because I think drinking coffee and espresso is very posh.
I also say 'ouch' when something doesn't actually hurt.
I don't know what all of this says about me as a person.
I should stop before I'm committed.
Love.
Want to drop off the face of the fanfic universe again.
Am v. v. frustrated. Not even sure if I like CloudxRiku anymore.
Tis true. Am not sure if I like them because I just like them anymore or because I just have to like them to finish the story. Cause I think I like them. Maybe am just burned out. Perhaps should focus on RonxDraco or NarutoxSasuke (am slightly burned out on ShikaIno. Did that shit fast).
Have been especially obsessed with Cloud lately, though.
It's bound to happen after 71 chapters, though, right. It's almost two effing years that I've been working on this effing story. I want to spit on it.
Perhaps that's my frustration with poetry coming out...I've said I want to spit on many things today.
But seriously, I need to take a hiatus at some point. Probably after I finish 100 Steps, but god, how long is that seriously going to be? I know I got myself into this, but it's effing driving me up a wall. I'm like, seriously, break up already, or stop being so emo, or something, goddamnit.
I'm such a bitch. Such an unpleasant fucking bitch when I'm frustrated. Maybe I can't handle so much Cloud and Riku because I am equally unhappy. I'm a bitcher.
I don't even know why I'm writing this post. Putting off doing things I should be doing instead I guess.
Because I'm an unhappy, unpleasant, obnoxious bitcher. God, I annoy myself.
Oh, this isn't a good sign. This is hardcore mania coming on, I think. Being bipolar is insanely annoying. Maybe it's depression. Maybe it's just because I'm sick, stressed out, and broke. I've been in generally negative moods lately. Unhappy. Frustrated. Annoyed. Miserable.
Except when I think of Cloudy. And then I am happy.
Unless I think about having to write the next chapter. Because I'm at the point where I stare at the screen and think about how much I wish I could just put my head to the screen and have the chapter magically appear through osmosis. Aly thinks it would never works. She says the chapter would come out messy and disjointed. I think it would be the greatest move in technology since iPod. iThink. How's that, Apple? Whaddya think?
I think I should stop posting obscenly asinine posts in my journal where people can actually read them and keep my thoughts to myself.
Cause, apparently, people read my journal, and I don't always put my best foot forward.
Will work on original Keeper story after I finish 100 Steps. Really will. Because at least I can try and get that published. If Twilight was published, anything can happen.
Because Twilight is a piece of shit, I don't care what anyone says. Am too stubborn and a bitch to have anyone even try to convince me otherwise. I hear someone say something positive and I gag.
But it's best if I don't go off about Twilight. Because I hate that series with enough venom to fill a book. I hate that series more than I hate Obama. I hate that series more than I hate RonxHermione. I hate that series more than I hate having my period and being ridiculously sick.
Which is how I am right now, by the way, which might explain this post. I have PMS and I'm congested and I can't breathe and I can't eat because I can't breathe when I eat. And I feel like I'm going to pass out all the time. And there's more grossness, but I won't put it in here because I too frequently gross people out because I'm the kind of person who can talk about vomit during dinner.
Something I think that's kind of weird about me? I feel bad for grapefruits.
Seriously. Because no one likes them. So I eat grapefruit because I feel bad for grapefruits. I'm actually starting to like it.
Then again, I'm the person who acquired a taste for coffee and espresso because I think drinking coffee and espresso is very posh.
I also say 'ouch' when something doesn't actually hurt.
I don't know what all of this says about me as a person.
I should stop before I'm committed.
Love.