Exposing The Truth: The Stuff I Wish I Had an Opportunity to Say in a Courtroom.

[decharles]

Introduction:

For a few years now, I’ve been meaning to write in this Livejournal about a defining part of my life. I want to discuss the abuse that I encountered as a kid. I want to do this in depth, and place everything on this Journal that I’m willing to speak about in such a public forum.

There are several reasons why I want to do this:

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Comments

[leejean]

Thank you very much for writing about this.

[decharles]

Thank you for reading, leejean. I know you've seen your share, so I feel I'm in good company.

[calladus]

Ronnie was, and apparently still is, an asshat. Still, he was part of our life, and part of what shaped the people that we are now.

If you had told me, when I was 16, what he was doing - I would have killed him. I have no doubt about about that now - back then I didn't have the mental maturity to act rationally. I would have reacted irrationally.

Ronnie can't hurt us anymore. And perhaps what we've written online will prevent, in some way, his ability to hurt anyone else.

I still think he might get out on parole. I'll be watching. I hope that Texas' tough stance on pedophiles will result in an automatic denial of parole.

If Ronnie is set free, he will abuse again. It is his basic mindset and nothing short of radical medical procedures that would alter his fundamental personality will change that.

I feel for his future victim. I hope his next stay in jail lasts for the rest of his life - for the sake of all the other little girls out there.

I love you sis.

[decharles]

*heart*

[fatfeistyfemme]

Just letting you know that I read this, and I am sitting witness to your pain, and your bravery, and your healing, and your strength, and your intelligence, and your empowerment, and your compassion, even in your anger, for your Mother who so utterly failed you in this capacity.

The fact that you are the loving being that you are is a testament to your strength. I'm glad to know you.

Coming From You...

[decharles]

...the wordsmith and incredibly inspiring activist goddess that you are, the way that I've watched you speak before huge audiences that have wept because of identifying so completely with your words, the way you've touched so many...

From you this means a great deal.

Thank you.

Hi Emily,

[decharles]

Thank you for taking the time to write. I've never been able to really explain this well, but I know I get so much strength from other Survivors like yourself.

Thank you also for making this connection. I means a great deal to me. Sending hugs back your way, Emily. May you and your husband always find strength and peace in one another. Feel free to post any time you like.

=)
-Tan

"His presence has simply been incorporated into my own psyche"

[anonymous]

This sentence resonated with me. I have had my share of traumatic experiences and unfortunately the person responsible will always be a part of me. At times, I feel violated by that presence but sometimes, it is better to accept it and try to heal.
Some days are better than others but we can only do the best we can and hope that it is enough.
I just read what I have written and am sorry to have hijacked the comment to get healing for myself.
It is ok if you do not post this.

Re: "His presence has simply been incorporated into my own psyche"

[decharles]

I can understand feeling violated about having that presence in me!! It's not a good feeling. When I decided that I owned that presence though, that it was MINE... then I started turning a corner. It helped with accepting what I couldn't change.
Hijack away! If something touches you, or offers some meaning to you, I can't tell you how amazing that makes me feel.