Get Out of Your Head and Get Into Your Heart ... Think Less and Feel More

[dee_aar2]

We have all heard about how women are multifaceted, donning many hats, always multitasking. We all know the woman is the fulcrum around which her home rotates and taking a bigger view the society even. What we sometimes forget is that in the midst of our ever so many responsibilities and obligations to everyone and everything around us ... there is

Comments

[witchwife]

This entry - your take on womanhood and the advice that you give - reminds me of something that my mother would identify with and fully enjoy. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas.

[dee_aar2]

Thank you so much for dropping by , reading and commenting ... Its hard to live by what you learn and so its a process , an on going one ... and the journey to me looks long :)

[lrig_rorrim]

(Tried to post a bit ago, but including a link caused my comment to get screened as spam. Whoops! I'll try again, this time without a link.)

I'm glad you found someone to connect to, who could help you connect with yourself. Parts of this entry, specifically the first paragraph, reminded me a lot of the metafilter emotional labor thread (just google "emotional labor metafilter" and it'll come right up). The concept of emotional labor itself was something totally new to me, and reading so many other women sharing their experiences with being that fulcrum, as you put it, was really powerful. It's a long read, but you might find it interesting, if you have the time.

This kind of introspection and discovery and subsequent work is hard, but worthwhile. I wish you all the best on your journey.

[dee_aar2]

Thank you for that link .... Wow I didn't actually realize there are so many out there feeling as I do and you know what ... I am so glad my feelings aren't alien. What I learnt more than anything was that we are almost always alone to get our act together. I mean we are surrounded by people who care for a whole lot of reasons but when it comes to getting a work done on ourselves only we would really care deep enough to go for it. And if we are really lucky then maybe one more ,,,, but that is about the luxury you can expect.

Thank you for the link .. I did download a summarised pdf file on the topic ... yes it is new to me ... But I wanted to read it ... Thank you once again :)

[lrig_rorrim]

You're welcome, and I hope that reading other people's struggles with this will help clarify your own. So many gender roles for women put us squarely as The Nurturers, The Caregivers, The Ones Who Take Care Of All The Things. Well, when you're so busy taking care of other people's things (not to mention the mundane stuff that makes your own life go) it's really, really, really easy to lose sight of what it is you want out of life. Taking the time to find it again (or for the first time) is worth it.

Regarding other people around us who care for us and about us - friends and family can certainly be supportive and help, in both concrete and abstract ways, but when it comes down to it, we've got to figure out what we want for ourselves. Sometimes finding a community of other women (virtually, or physically, or whatever) who have walked the same kinds of paths can be helpful, but just finding that community isn't in and of itself the work. That's just a way to help get it done.

[dee_aar2]

I get that specific gender role so well. It is so unfair. But yes having a community of women who feel the same and more importantly want and strive for things to change would be so helpful.

[eternal_ot]

*Hugs* I so needed to read this right now...hopefully it'll help me or maybe it won't...but it surely will be stuck as a reminder in my mind..:) The lack of living up to expectations is driving me nuts..and somehow ain't able to figure out why I end up blaming myself..maybe the perfectionist in me doesn't want to give up..:P
This surely hit home.. Love you for writing this..<3 A good read ! Well written indeed..:)

[dee_aar2]

Its how we are conditioned ... I have that perfectionist streak in me too and I have it coupled with a fear of confrontation. So that's pretty bad as it provides the perfect foil for people to take me for granted and I really can't blame them. But some day soon ... I have already started my trip ... I will be able to stand up for what I want ... some day soon.....

[dmousey]

The path to knowing yourself is a lifelong journey. Whatever happened with Sivakami? Her story is heartwrenching. Do you stills see her? Anyhoo- Thanks for penning! Peace! :)

[dee_aar2]

Ohh yes our entire life is what it takes to know ourselves. And that's because we keep changing ... we need to kill the buddha ( our perception of us ) and carry on moving ... Thank you for dropping by to read.

Sivakami still visits and sits at the same place. Maybe some day she will find her peace or maybe she already has. But she is one gutsy woman that much I know.

[alycewilson]

So much wisdom in here. I reached similar conclusions about myself, though the road leading me there was different.

[dee_aar2]

Thank you so much for dropping by .... Glad to know I am not alone in my emotional journey :)