[Fic] Killing my love [2010 Akame One-shot Contest Entry:Mafia]

[deeacrazyme]

It looked awful. He was shaking all over, not capable of speaking, not able to walk or shout. He could only see five bodies on the ground, those of his parents and of his brothers. He could only see the blood, flowing out of their bodies, spreading all over the floor. He twitched as he noticed some man carrying swords approaching him.

“I’m going to die...” he thought before everything went black.

His body hurt? No, it didn’t. It actually felt light. He was tired though, he felt though, he if he had carried millstones for all his life and only now got rid of them. He tried standing up and gasped at the sight of himself. There was no blood, no cuts, no wounds, no bruises. He looked perfectly healthy, still wearing his own clothes. The only difference was the house he woke up in: a big, Japanese style house, so elegant and beautiful that it had to belong to some rich person.
“You are awake”, a voice spoke and he twitched, turning around in high speed, in a defending pose, afraid he will be killed.
“Who…who are you?!” he shouted, standing up and grabbing a vase, ready to hit the intruder.
“Don’t worry. I am Ueda Tatsuya…. You are safe here.”
Kazuya finally calmed down and looked at the one who just introduced himself he didn’t seem much older, but was pretty, with blond brownish hair, full lips, wearing a gray stripped yukata that made him look even more beautiful then he was.
“Where…where am I ?” Kazuya asked confused, still debating on whether he should put the vase down or not.
“As soon as you talk to Waka you will understand”, Tatsuya smilled.
“ Wa..ka? Ya..Yakuza?!” Kazuya shuttered, not sure if he should follow the one called Ueda or not. He did follow as he was told, trembling, afraid of what might happen to him. He was taken into a big room where three people stood at a table and talked. Two of them stood up and walked to the left and right side of the one at the head of the table. Ueda urged Kazuya to walk towards them but the boy couldn’t move at all since he somehow knew those guys. As soon as he looked at them, flashes of blood, bodies and twinkling swords appeared before his face.
The two standing men walked towards him, one smiling at Tatsuya, and left Kazuya alone with the one they called “Waka”

“How are you feeling?” The man asked, finally standing up and getting closer to the trembling boy.
Kazuya took a step back and tried opening the door in order to get out but it just wouldn’t budge. Fear took over and some tears rolled down his cheeks as he constantly tried to pull the handles and get out.
“Calm down…” the man tried to stop him but he was immediately slapped on the face.
It was a piercing sound that echoed all through the room. The man stopped and glared at the younger one, lifting his hand and hitting him back, as hard as he could. Kazuya fell on the ground and whimpered, his cheek burning like fire.
“Are you going to keep quiet now?” he asked, landing a hand so that Kazuya could get up.
The lad only nodded, understanding he shouldn’t provoke the older one, but instead of taking his hand, he tried standing up by himself he didn’t dare to look at the other, he was too scared to face the one he was sure killed his family.
“Now that your family is dead…you will be in my care. You are o live here and obey me. Do you understand? I am Akanishi Jin” he introduced himself, revealing a soft smile that made him look inoffensive. All his anger seemed to have gone away and got replaced by a friendly look, one that Kazuya feared to trust. Kazuya bit his lower lip and gulped, nodding in approval.
“Am I …” he tried speaing but only small sounds came out of his mouth. “Am I going to die?” he choke out, still not daring to look up.
“If nothing is to happen…you won’t” Jin honestly replied.
“This is….Ya…” he tried again but his voice was low, trembling just like the rest of his body.
“Yakuza. Yes.” Jin smiled, showing Kazuya the table and making a hand sign telling him he should take a sit.
Kazuya nodded again and sat down, fidgeting. Why did his parents have to be killed by Yakuza? What wrong did they do? His parents and his brothers too. They didn’t do anything wrong nor did they deserve to be killed. Akanishi Jin was a bastard for doing that and now his life was in that person’s hands, depending solely on him. He could kill him anytime, especially then, so why did the yakuza let him live?

Akanishi sat down as well and looked at the younger one. He was so beautiful that Jin couldn’t stop himself from looking at the boy. His rather curly brown hair, crooked nose, beautiful eyes and lips, a long neck, slim body with curves, almost like a woman but definitely not one…everything was perfect. Simply mesmerizing.
“Kamenashi Kazuya…” he spoke out, thinking that the name suited the young one.
Kazuya looked up, fear in his eyes, wondering why was he called by his full name.
“Yes?” he shuddered. He had never been around Yakuza. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do, when to talk, when to look at the other?
“Tomorrow is your family’s funeral. We shall see them off together a the graveyard” Jin announced, standing up, looking at the younger one straight in the eyes.
Kazuya felt like crying and he did once he was left alone. It was terrible. The murderers wanted to go to the graveyard and haunt him even there. Such sadisms, such profanity… it was disgusting.

When the day came, Kazuya’s face was pale as he watched his parents being put in coffins and being thrown under the solid ground, to rest there forever. His brothers were all incinerated and he was going to be given their ashes, but it felt like hell. He was there, amongst yakuza’s, staring at a piece of land surrounded by grass, everyone dressed in black. His face was pale but the bruise after the slap he got the other day was still there, obvious to everyone. The one called Ueda who had been with him as he woke up was now dressed formally as well, standing next to one of the guys that also helped Jin in killing his family.

As he walked inside the house where he was going to live with those murderers, he felt his legs weakening and his body wanting to collapse. Tears would no longer roll on his cheek. He had cried them all and now he was empty. His life meant nothing, it was just a tool, he was only an object in Akanishi’s hand and his life was worth nothing. He was nothing. Akanishi Jin reduced him to nothing. He walked into the kitchen and stopped. He was thirsty but didn’t want to drink anything. He felt like dying. It sounded like a good idea. That way he could escape from the hands of the Yakuza and be with his family again. He found a kitchen knife and looked at it calmly. No spark appeared in his eyes nor did his facial expression change. What was the point? Why should he live when all his family was dead? Just to be a toy in Jin’s hands? He raised the hand holding the knife and placed it close to his neck, ready to slice it open. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t want to feel that pain, nor to live with the sadness in his heart. He was ready to take his own life before others would.
A hand pulled the knife away and his body was thrown to the ground while someone kept shouting at him.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jin was the one shouting, throwing the knife in the kitchen sink, cutting his hand in the process. He then grabbed Kazuya’s hand and tried pulling him up.
“Let me go!” came a dreadful shout, Kazuya pulling his hand away, not looking at the older one but simply dozing off.
“What are you…?” Jin shouted again, wanting to pull the other from whatever possessed him and make him calm down but Kazuya tried slapping him and he had to stop. Jin did got hit a couple of times and every time he got more and more annoyed. He could only do one thing so he did. He hit Kazuya with his fist, throwing him on the ground, hoping that would calm the boy but it was unsuccessful. Kazuya started acting like a mad person, hitting and screaming aloud, trying to free himself from a hold no one had on him.

Jin attempted shutting the boy up by kissing him but was bitten the moment their lips touched. He then grabbed Kazuya’s arms with his full strength, slamming the younger one into a cabinet. He gave it another try and didn’t stop the kiss until he gained full control over those lips and teeth that still tried to bite him. Since Kazuya wouldn’t stop moving despite the strong grasp on his wrists, Jin had no choice but to turn the boy around and pulled both his hands on the back.It happened quick, too quick for Kazuya to digest. One minute he was blankly staring at a knife, then he was shouting in terror, hitting Jin, and then he was butt naked, and raped. He was in pain, crying again and shouting, trying to fight the other off and free himself but he couldn’t. He clenched his fists although his hands were strongly hold still, closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, making it bleed, and almost rolled down on the floor as the pain grew bigger. Jin was thrusting inside him, violently, making him whimper and shudder.

“Hurts…hurts…” that was all Kazuya thought as his voice suddenly died and something flooded inside him.
As Akanishi stepped back, Kazuya fell down on the ground, not making one single sound, looking blankly straight in front. He couldn’t see anything though. He moved a hand to his bottom and whimpered as the touch hurt. When he looked at his fingers and then licked his lower lip, he could only taste and see blood.Blood. Blood that covered his parent’s body. Blood that came pouring down his brothers mouths. Blood. More and more blood and this time his own. He slowly closed his eyes and collapsed.

I can’t even choose to die…

A soft hand was caressing his forehead then something cool was placed on it, making him feel better. As he opened his eyes, he saw Ueda there, looking concerned at him, careful not to bring more pain to the young one.
“Tat…”Kazuya began but the sound he made stabbed through the silence and made his head ache.
“Are you awake?” Ueda asked with a concerned look but soon sighed happily as he noticed a small nod coming from the resting young one. “Can you stand up?” he asked while putting a hand over Kazuya’s back to help him get out of bed.
A pain made itself noticed around his bottom so Kazuya immediately flinched and pulled the sheets next to him. He remembered all that happened because of that. His parents were killed, he was now in yakuza’s care, he was previously raped and the one who did that all was Akanishi Jin. The door to his room slid open so he twitched and looked that way, afraid Akanishi had come to ask for more.
“Hime…is he…oh…you are up!” a black haired man, probably around his age came inside the room. Ueda stood up and ran towards him, whispering something in his ear, something that made the newcomer giggle a bit. “Jin wants to see you.” the black haired notified him, bringing fear back into Kazuya’s eyes. “Hime…have him ready.” He then spoke to the one that was only a few centimeters taller than him.
“Of course, Ryo” Ueda nodded and gave a small peek on the other one’s lips before returning next to Kazuya. “Ryo” nodded back and closed the sliding door, licking his lips to enjoy more the feeling of his princess’s lips.
Tatsuya tried helping Kazuya stand up but he noticed the trembling of the younger one’s body. Because one name was spoken, the young lad’s lips turned purple, his eyes lost all sparkle and his hands were trembling as he was almost ripping the sheets apart. Despite all that, Ueda found it rather simple to make Kazuya stand up and change his clothes. As they walked all the way back to the room where Akanishi introduced himself, Kazuya could only see more and more Yakuza, bowing down at them.

“Yakuza…Yakuza….” Kazuya spoke inside his mind like a mantra, until the doors to that chamber opened and he was asked to step inside. Every single man that was there, each dressed in their suit, stood up from the table and walked out the door. One remained. The one that ruined Kazuya’s life forever.
“How…how are you feeling?” he heard coming from Jin and despite his hatred towards him, he could swear the older one’s voice was trembling a bit as he spoke all that. Kazuya tried getting help from Ueda, but Ueda bowed to Akanishi and stepped back, closing the door behind him as he left the two in silence.
“I’m sorry…” Jin said next, now a bit more close to the young one. As if a switch was turned on inside Kazuya’s mind, the latter covered his ears and then glared at the older one.
“You…you rape…raped me!” he managed to shout, having as testimony the pain his ass was in.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do it like that! If anything I rather it would have happened in a completely different way!” Jin voiced out, the trembling becoming more clear in his voice as he grapped Kazuya by the shoulders and forced the young one to look at him.
So that was it. That was why he was being kept alive for. To become that man’s whore, the toy he could play with when he felt desire to have sex. The reason why he was kept alive was so that he could be converted into a sexual toy
“You…” Kazuya tried talking but he couldn’t since he was focusing his strength on keeping his tears still.
“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to be that rough!” Jin shook him a bit, waiting for the answer.

Kazuya didn’t reply. He only got on his toes, leaned forward and pressed his lips on Jin’s. On second thought…he wanted to live. To live until the day he can take revenge at the one who destroyed his happy life. If until then he had to be a whore, so be it. Everything so that he could avenge the death of his family.
Naturally, Akanishi was shocked by the sudden action but couldn’t find inside him not even the smallest thread of decency to stop the kiss. Kazuya’s lips tasted wonderfully, playing with his mind and making him react even weirder than he already did. He couldn’t stop himself but honestly…he didn’t even want to. His arms embraced Kazuya and pulled him closer, his lips nibbling on the younger one’s, pulling them apart so that his tongue could get inside the wet cavity and suck on everything it encountered. As a shred of saliva rolled down Kazuya’s chin, Jin’s hands moved underneath the shirt the boy was wearing and caressed the entire area, moving down inside the jeans and boxers, groping his buttocks. Kazuya whimpered as he could still feel the pain from the other day but knew he had to hide his disgust if he wanted to reach a point when he could kill the murderer
.
“I’ll be gentle this time…” he heard Jin speaking in his ear, before those same hands moved to his zipper and pulled his pants down. He just let the older one do as he pleases. Jin placed Kazuya on the table, face up, spreading his legs and then unzipping his own trousers. How could he refuse taking such a beauty when it was offered to him with such calm? Kazuya whimpered again and bit his lower lip once more, opening the small cut that was already there, when he felt something intruding inside him. It wasn’t that man’s crotch but a finger. A finger that kept moving inside him, in and out, sometimes rotating, provoking all the pain that was hidden behind the already reddish skin on his asshole. As another finger followed, Kazuya’s lips were captured once more and kissed with the same strength Akanishi used when raping him the other day. “You are so tight…” he heard a whisper coming from the older one as Jin was now kissing is Adam’s apple. Kazuya didn’t reply. Out of instinct alone, his body arched and his arms wrapped around Jin’s neck as he felt the first thrust, hitting deep inside him. “So tight….fuck so good” he heard Jin saying again, hiding his face near Kazuya’s nape. The thrusts just got deeper and deeper, faster and stronger, causing some solitary tears to roll down Kazuya’s face once more.
It was disgusting. So disgusting hearing such a murderer telling him how tight he was, how perfect he could fit inside him, how good it felt, how good his skin tasted, how much he liked thrusting inside him. So disgusting.

Disgusting…

But if it was disgusting, why was he slowly starting to enjoy it? Jin would everyday come to him, spread him over a futon, open his legs and undress him completely, then thrusting inside him more, climaxing inside him, still saying all those indecent words that at some point started echoing inside Kazuya’s mind.
Kazuya was resting on a big bed, his yukata wide open revealing his chest, crotch and feet, his hair ruffled and sweaty, his legs spread apart as much as it was possible while Jin’s body was lingering above him. Jin’s hand was playing with his right nipple, Jin’s hand was teasing his crotch, pumping it at fast speed, Jin’s lips had completely overtook his, Jin’s tongue played free inside his mouth. But not just Jin. Kazuya’s hand were wrapped around Jin’s back, Kazuya’s lips opened and brushed alongside Jin’s, Kazuya’s tongue joined the joyful play, Kazuya’s body was arching at each thrust and the more they were doing it, the more he was breaking apart. It was no longer just Jin moaning and huffing, not just Jin cursing between his teeth when a thrust hit too deep. Kazuya got, day by day, wet faster than before, his body make more sensitive, his voice changed and moans, gasps, pants rolled out of his mouth while in just a few months, his body started completely responding to Jin’s. Responding to the point where his own hips would thrust forward, meeting Akanishi’s, to the point where his legs would wrap around Jin’s, pushing him deeper inside, to the point where he was the one craving for a kiss and initiating one.

So who was more disgusting?

“Disgusting… I am disgusting…” Kazuya would whisper to himself every night before falling asleep. Hatred started building up against Jin and himself. Against Jin for having killed his family and against himself from drowning in the sweet touches and sex the older one would always remember to give him. Akanishi Jin was transforming him.
It was true he had everything he could ask for. If he wanted clothing, he would be brought whichever. If he wanted to go outside, someone would always accompany him, if he wanted to drink something, he would be quickly given a drink. He just had to ask for something and his desires would have been taken care of. Nonetheless, if he would have asked for Jin’s death, he would have been the one killed instead so he kept his mouth closed as far as that matter went. His life was pretty much normal until Akanishi Jin stepped foot in the house. Kazuya could sometimes smile with Ueda although he was still reluctant towards Ryo, which he discovered was Akanishi’s left hand, he even found Yamapi quite entertaining, but Yamapi was Akanishi’s right hand. He could watch TV, eat, drink, play, study, as the normal safe from before could.

The moment it ended was when Akanishi would appear in front of him and remember
Kazuya of everything. Of his family’s death, of his imprisonment in a place where, although the yakuza members where treating him nice, he could have been killed at any given time. But the thing Jin remembered Kazuya most of was of the young one’s perversity. Jin always made him recall his own actions, the way his body moved when being thrusted, and the sounds he would make when Jin would take him.
And yet…despite Akanishi being the life prove he had turned into the whore he once thought he only had to pretend to be, it was him who felt lonely when the older one wasn’t there.
“What time is it?” he asked Ueda, sighing from his heart.
“Is past midnight, Kame. You should go to sleep. Who knows when he’ll come back. Ryo didn’t call either..” Ueda pouted a bit.

Ueda Tatsuya or Tat-chan, as he started calling him, would always act the same as him when Ryo wouldn’t be there. Maybe that was what made them friends. Him and Ueda started spending plenty of time together, Ueda being the first he would see when waking up and the last who would wish him goodnight before handling him to Akanishi.

“Tat-chan…why do you keep mentioning Ryo?” Kazuya asked curiously, jumping on the bed with his arms and legs spread, enjoying the fluffiness of his bed.
“I don’t…well…Maybe I do. I just miss him” Ueda confessed for the first time.
“Miss?!”
He couldn’t believe it. Who would miss a yakuza? Who could miss a murderer? How could Ueda miss one of the people that killed his family? But then again..Kazuya was also missing Jin, so who was he to talk?
“Ryo is doing a lot for me. So much I think I became dependent on him” Ueda chuckled, getting the bed ready for Kazuya to rest.
“What does he do for you?” the young one asked some more, standing up on his bottom. It didn’t hurt anymore. The painful part was realizing his body was so used to Jin that his inside got wet the moment he’d be kissed.
“I am his affair” Ueda giggled, sitting next to Kazuya. “I was taken in by Jin when I was small and I met the other two: Ryo and Yamashita. Ryo was really mean at first but now we are in love. When Ryo got married, I became his affair. He had to get married, the clan asked that of him, but his wife wasn’t really pleased with me in the middle so she tried killing me once. Ryo swore to her that if she hurts me, he would kill her, and, if by bad luck she could kill me before him being able to save me, he would rip her skin apart and torture her for the rest of his life. I didn’t believe him until she tried to cut my face. Ryo broke both her arms put her into hospital”

“ Yakuza…” Kazuya thought again as he heard Ueda telling his story. Yakuza would do that. They would hurt people as if it’s their first nature. Of course they could break people’s bones, put them into hospital and killed them. They were that. Ryo was like that too. All of them were murderers but that didn’t stop Ueda’s story from sounding so romantic.
Kazuya sighed unconsciously. He wished he could have such a romantic story even though Jin was the killer of his family. The idea of a forbidden love, one that had to be hidden and yet was expressed so beautifully, sounded so nice.

If only Jin hadn’t killed his family. Then he wouldn’t have to hate them both for having sex, he could calmly indulge into those warm arms and wet lips. If Jin hadn’t killed his family, maybe they could have shared a romance like that.

The door to his room opened slowly and it shut just as slowly, without making one sound. Someone approached his bed and leaned forward, putting one hand over Kazuya’s mouth.
Kazuya startled and tried to fight whoever was covering his mouth, but relaxed as soon as he heard a soft, low voice, a voice that he knew.
“Knew you’d shout so that’s why I covered it” Jin explained through a whisper, sitting on the edge of Kazuya’s bed, slowly brushing a few locks away, uncovering the beautiful black eyes he loved.
“Jin…” 
Just the sight of him was enough to make Kazuya remember the bodies filled with blood that were dead on the ground. But the sight of Jin also made him remember sweet kisses that were always placed on his lips and forehead.
“I need you to do something for me.” Jin whispered next, placing a large box on Kazuya’s bed. “Tomorrow at noon, dress up in this. Ueda will make up you. For one night, I need you to pretend being a woman and accompany me somewhere.” He could sense Jin smiling. He didn’t reply but he didn’t even need to. He would always obey Jin, hoping, just hoping he would find the perfect moment to kill him. Jin placed a kiss on Kazuya’s lips, a kiss that the younger tried prolonging, and then stood up and advised him to rest.
Great…now he had to be into role-playing too. Ueda was awkwardly fast at whatever he was doing around his face, turning around and circling him while putting make up on. Ueda was scary good since the moment he looked into the mirror all he could see was a girl, dressed up in a very beautiful kimono.
“How did you do that?” Kazuya asked amazed.
“How do you think Ryo and I go on dates?” Ueda chuckled, accompanying Kazuya till the place where they were supposed to meet and leave. Akanishi stared at Kazuya in amazement as he realized Kamenashi was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

The destination was a party. A big yakuza party. A party where Kazuya was told to pretend being very intimate with Jin, so loving and unwilling to let go of him. A role that was a bit too tiresome for him to keep since everyone around was just as much of a murderer as Akanishi was. He escaped and walked to the bathroom, not sure if he should enter the man’s or woman’s toilet room.
“I know you are Kamenashi Kazuya...” he heard a voice from behind and turned around to see a bald guy, about his age, a bit scary, definitely scarier than Jin, but smiling.
“I have no idea what…”
“I know.” The baldy stopped him. “If you ever want to get revenge on him for killing your family, call me.” the other smirked while handing Kazuya a card with his name and phone number. Kazuya sighed and smiled bitterly. Tanaka Koki was willing to help him get revenge. He wanted to get revenge on Jin. He wanted to so why was he so bitter and passive towards calling the man and telling him he agrees? As Kazuya walked back inside the party hall and pretended to be a girl, he saw Jin’s smile, Jin’s body movements, his beautiful eyes looking at him while his lips mimicked a small: I was worried for you.

Did he really wanted to kill Jin? Jin killed his family so he should kill him back. So he made up his mind. That week, two months after ending up in the hands of Akanishi Jin, he finally picked up the phone and called Tanaka Koki. It was all settled. All he had to do was to wait.

“Damn it!” he heard Akanishi cursing from inside the living room as he stepped foot inside.
Jin would always be talking something business related to others and stop when Kazuya got inside the room but this time Jin was so angry that he couldn’t help himself from cursing out loud. When Akanishi spotted Kazuya, he ran up to the younger one and hugged him tightly.
“Promise me you won’t leave the house!” he almost shouted while embracing the young one.
“Why?” Kazuya asked innocently, knowing why Jin was so upset.
“Just promise you won’t. I have someplace to go” Jin whispered in his ear, placing a kiss on the neck, then lifting up Kazuya’s chin and capturing his lips. Kazuya found himself once more taken away by those kisses. He enjoyed being kissed by Jin and his body told him that without remorse as his arms rose up and embraced the older one too. There was no more distance between them so it felt intoxicating. Kazuya could swear he was going to suffocate if the kiss wasn’t going to be broken anytime soon. It felt salty. The kiss felt bitter, leaving behind a completely different feeling than all the ones before. Kazuya could taste what was going to happen on Jin’s lips.

“Stay here” Jin smiled, brushing Kazuya’s locks away from his eyes, before placing a kiss on his forehead and heading towards the door. That was it. He had done it. The one who killed his family was going to be killed by Tanaka Koki. His misery was going to end. By doing that his family would have been revenged and his purpose would have been fulfilled. The one who turned him into a whore, twisting his mind and making him so indecent, the one who left him with no one else to rely one, the one who destroyed his life was going to disappear forever. He should have been happy, but now that he knew Jin would die, he felt even more miserable than before. As tears rolled down his cheeks, tears so sour that his eyes hurt, he realized. He realized he had fallen in love with the one who killed his family. He loved Akanishi Jin. Maybe…he smiled bitterly; maybe he could have a romantic story too. Jin was going to die and after that he would take his own life…and everyone would know of them as the lovers who both hated and loved each other.
“Don’t cry, Kazuya” he felt the same comforting hand of Ueda. “That bastard Tanaka won’t get away with it. Jin will make him pay for your parents’ death too” Ueda continued, smiling.
Kazuya’s eyes snapped up and looked at Tatsuya, filled with confusion and fear.
“My…my parents…?” he shuttered, grabbing the older one by the collar.“Isn’t this why you are crying? I thought Jin finally told you what happened two months ago.” Ueda gasped, trembling a bit.
“What happened then?!” Kazuya started shouting like a mad man, terror taking over his body at the thought that Jin was going to get killed for nothing.

“Your dad…he worked for the Akanishi clan but undercover. Have you ever seen him receiving boxes from different companies with supposedly flyers and stuff? Then he would send one back, saying he’s applying to get the product they were advertising?” Ueda asked confused, a bit scared of Kazuya’s reaction. Kamenashi only nodded. “Your dad worked as an accounted for us but when Jin got nominated as the next head, he asked your dad to quit. I think Jin even met you once when you were both smaller. Your dad refused to do so and Jin couldn’t only come up with that solution. Tanaka Koki killed your family so to stop the uprising progress the Akanishi clan was making. They are from opposing clans so of course Tanaka would do that. Jin, Ryo and Yamapi with some others went there to stop him, but they were too late. They found you though. You came inside when they were about to start a search for you.”

Ueda was explaining all that to someone who wasn’t even listening anymore. Kazuya was down on the floor, crying like there was no tomorrow, afraid, sad, disgusted by himself. It was true, he saw Jin and the others with swords close to his family’s bodies but just now he remembered that on those blades there was no actual blood. Jin, the one who took him in just like that although he was a stranger, actually meant all good by doing that. Jin, the one who kissed and hugged him, the one who would make love to him, actually meant everything. Jin never did anything bad to him and yet he was killing Jin.
“Tat-chan!” Kazuya shouted again, standing up very fast. “Is Ryo with Jin?” he shouted, shaking the older one with strength.
“Y..yes..” Ueda mumbled, seeing for the second time such a got out of his mind Kamenashi Kazuya.
“I kill…killed him. I killed Jin. Jin didn’t do anything bad to me…but I’m killing him. I killed him!” Kazuya shouted through tears, rattling the same words over and over again.
“It’s okay. They…”
“It’s not! I told him! Tanaka Koki! I told him how many people were here, what they were good at, I told him everything I saw here. Tat-chan! I killed Jin!” he continued shouting, storming towards the door, wanting to do something to make up for his mistake, something to stop a real disaster from happening. When Ueda finally processed everything he was told, he ran after Kazuya and tried calling Ryo. The line was busy so he couldn’t even prevent them. All he could do was try to stop Kazuya before doing something foolish and get himself killed. He managed to. He managed to lock Kazuya inside for an hour but the shouts kept getting louder and louder and at that point he had to let the young one out.

“Kazuya…listen to me. You can’t! I left a message on Ryo’s voicemail and…” Ueda tried calming Kazuya again but stopped when a sudden “bum” was heard and the windows broke. The house got filled with yakuza, but not of their clan. With Tanaka Koki as a lead, they stormed inside where the two man where and ordered the others to beat them up, giving them free hand to do with the two whatever they wanted. Ueda was obeying silently, knowing deep in his heart that Ryo would come for him but Kazuya was not that lucky. Firmly convinced he had sentenced to death the only one he had left in the world, he burst in rage and tried fighting them off as much as he could.
“Shut up, slut!” Tanaka hit him hard, making him fall on the ground and split blood. He was ready to slice the boy with his sword when a shotgun was heard and they all turned around. Ryo was shooting everyone that stood in his way, Yamapi kept kicking and cutting everyone who dared attack them while behind them came an injured Akanishi Jin. Jin was bleeding. His forehead had a big cut from which blood ran down his face, his shoulder was stabbed and he was limping because of the gun shot he received close to his knee.
“Well, well. So strong aren’t we?” Koki mocked, pulling Kazuya’s hair and placing his sword at the young one’s neck. Some other guy picked a half naked Ueda up and did the same, then licked the man’s earlobe and grinned.
“Let them go. This is between us, isn’t it?!” Akanishi shouted from his lungs although they hurt a bit too.
“Can’t. Before it ends…thank your dear Kazuya for making all this possible. He actually believed you killed his parents so he made it possible for us to kill you all!” laughed Tanaka, cutting a bit of Kazuya’s skin.
“Jin…” Kazuya whimpered, tears in his eyes. They were tears of happiness and sadness at the same time. He was happy to see Jin alive but couldn’t regret more everything he had done.
“Leave them the fuck alone!” Ryo muttered, placing a bullet right between the eyes of the one holding his precious Hime. Tanaka threw Kazuya to the ground and launched an attack against them. Almost all got into the fight. Ueda pulled Kamenashi into a corner while Ryo and Yamapi kept the enemy away from their injured leader.
“JIN!” Kazuya shouted louder than ever when Tanaka got behind Jin, ready to stab him.
There was blood everywhere. There was blood on the walls, blood on the carpet and every single piece of furniture, blood on their clothes and swords, and it smelled like blood. Ueda was happy to see it all end with the victory to their team but Kazuya kept still, eyes wide open, staring at Jin who had diced into pieces the body of Tanaka Koki.

Yakuza….they are capable of killing as if it is their first nature.

And Jin was a Yakuza. Jin was the leader. Jin was the one who chopped into pieces the body of someone living without flinching or blinking. Jin Akanishi, the one who took him in after his parents died, the one who loved him every night, the one he loved, was a murderer. He killed Tanaka Koki without thinking about it for a second. But Jin was doing it to save them. Jin was saving his life.
“Take…” Jin huffed, limping all the way to a table nearby to sit on it. “Take Ueda and Kazuya out of here.” He ordered his man, dropping the bloody sword he was holding to the ground. Ryo took control of the situation and walked the two in question to the door, making sure they were safe.
“Jin…you should get treatment!” Yamapi told him, helping him stand straight.
“Listen…” Jin talked again. “ No matter what I do, what I offer you, what I threaten you with…do not ever tell me where Kamenashi Kazuya is. I trust you to keep him safe but do never tell me where he is. Even if I threaten to kill you and do kill some, do not tell me. If you do, I will kill both you and your family. Understood?!” he shouted with his last strength, waiting for all their approvals, then sank to the ground and collapsed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was cold. So cold. That bed was so cold. He had been in that place for the last four months but it still felt cold. No matter how many times he slept in that bed, the sheets never got warmer. They would never. Not when Jin wasn’t there. How much of an idiot can one be? Kazuya fell to the ground and sobbed, covering his eyes. What a fool he was. He thought Jin had killed his family so he wanted to have him killed too. He never saw behind the touches he received, he never looked for the meaning behind every kiss, he didn’t even try to understand why at the end of each night he was the one Jin came to. There were so many who could have replaced him, man and woman, and yet Jin came to him. If he had realized his feelings or been told the truth sooner, that would have never happened. He could have been with Jin.
“Kame…” Ueda opened the door to the bedroom just to see Kazuya sunk to the ground in front of the balcony, its door opened, sobbing again.
“Not one call…not one visit…” Kazuya bit his lower lip, looking up to the lonely full moon.
“Kazuya…” Ueda changed his tone of voice, hurting as he saw his friend in pain.
“He doesn’t love me, does he? Not anymore. After knowing I tried to kill him…he hates me. Jin hates me now.” Kazuya smiled bitterly.
“He does love you, Kame. He has always protected you and is still doing it now. Who do you think pays for this?” Ueda smiled bitterly as well, clenching his fists.
“What good does it do? I miss him. I’m so stupid…I realized I love him only when I finally grasped what losing him meant…then I find out he never did anything to hurt me…and in…” he began crying, hiding his face behind his palms. “Even though I love him and now I know…I still can’t be with him. I miss him!” Kazuya shouted the last sentence, hitting the balcony door with his fists, although he knew that didn’t help at all.

Ueda bit his lower lip and left the room, closing the door without making much noise. He had to do something. He was by Kazuya’s side since almost 7 months now, they were friends, and no matter how many times he would meet up with Ryo, he still couldn’t forget the pain his friend was in. Ueda slammed the door to the conference room and excused himself in front of all those people, Ryo included, hitting the table hard, catching everyone’s attention.
Jin looked up and blinked once, then sank into his chair, letting out a sigh, knowing what Tatsuya wanted from him.
Two months after that, Ueda entered the house where Kazuya lived, smiling more brightly than ever, heading straight for Kazuya’s room.
“Come with me!” he pulled the younger one’s arm, making him follow until they reached the living room.
“Good evening” Jin bowed, holding a box in his hands.
Kazuya almost began crying, made a step forward but stopped. Jin had backed, refusing to get closer to him and that broke Kazuya’s heart. Kamenashi bit his lower lip and tried holding his tears, confused.

Why was Jin doing that? He finally came to see him. He was there, in front of him, but refused to embrace him or kiss him. He was acting coldly. Kazuya wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to apologize and try mending things but why wouldn’t Jin let him? As his eyes lower to look at the box, he noticed the wedding ring on Jin’s finger. He snapped his head up and finally cried, realizing he had lost Akanishi for good.
“This is for you, if you want it.” Jin talked, placing the box on the table. “As you can tell…I am married now. I had to so that the clan’s power could grow. Now I have to provide with a heir” he continued, opening the box, revealing a special engraved ring. “This is what I was supposed to give my wife as proof of our union” he smiled, taking it out of the box.  “She has a fake one. She knows about you.” Akanishi continued, this time him walking towards Kazuya.
“Jin?” the young one asked confused, not understanding anything anymore.
“I can’t be with you. Not the normal way. I am married and at some point I will have a child. I can only promise that after she remains pregnant, I will no longer sleep with her, that although he will be my official wife…I will only treat you as my spouse. Think about it. It would mean you moving into my house, having an affair with me under my wife’s eyes. If you accept, you can move back in at any given time and wear this. If not…keep it safe.” Jin bowed once more, turning around, opening the door and stepping out of the house.
Kazuya was holding the ring, the ring Jin placed in his hands, and was looking at it with love. It was going to happen at some point. Of course it would have. Jin became the leader, he had to marry at some point. He fell to the ground, caressing the ring.
“If I do this…I’ll become like you and Ryo…right?” Kazuya smiled a bit, looking up to his friend.

“It would be different. I don’t live with Ryo although he does spend a lot of time at Akanishi’s household. And his wife hates me so much she’d kill me the moment she’d see me. And they are still having sex, trying to provide with an heir as well. Ryo thinks she’s taking pills or something to prevent that because she knows she’ll be ditched the moment she gives birth, but he was never able to prove it. You are not me, Kazuya. Jin is promising you something. It’s up to you to take it or not.” Ueda smiled, sighing at the memory of that day when he ruined an important clan talk just to mention Kazuya. “Think about it. I did risk getting killed just to make him reason.” He then chuckled, heading towards the door.

What Kazuya needed now was time. Time to decide.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A doctor walked out of the room and headed towards Akanishi.
“How is she?” he asked concerned.
“She seems truly happy to find out she is pregnant and wished to talk to you” the doctor informed him. Akanishi bowed in thanks and opened the door to her room. He walked all the way to her bed and set on the edge of it, smiling happily.

“Isn’t it great?!” she beamed, standing up a bit. “Why are you still here?! Now that I am pregnant we don’t need to have sex anymore. Go and bring him here!” she smacked him over the head, laughing.
“It’s his decision to come to me or not. I am simply waiting” Jin pouted, touching the belly of his wife.
“I don’t get you two! When brother told me I almost wanted to kill you both! If you had told him from the start…he would have never thought badly about you and…” she rattled, enunciating every single stupid thing Jin had done ever since taking Kazuya in.
“I can’t force him to love me back, can I? God…you really are Pi’s sister” Jin rolled his eyes. He was happy he had to marry Rina. They have always been close friends and the moment she knew about Kazuya, she seemed more than happy to help. She did her very best to get pregnant and in the past month she kept going around asking if she is or not. To someone else, it might have looked rude, but Jin was grateful. Rina didn’t mind being his wife only with the name since she had her own life she wanted, so he was more than glad to help Jin with Kazuya.
“Shut up, Bakanishi!” she laughed hard, looking at her belly.
The door behind him opened and they both stood up in shock as the person who got inside the room was none other than Kamenashi Kazuya. Rina walked up to the guy and stared at him, then turned around and began shouting.

“He really is everything you said!” she exclaimed, way too happy in that sort of situation.
“Is it really okay?” Kazuya asked before Jin could really open his mouth to shut her up. “ Is it okay for me to live in the same house as your husband, to have sex with him and, as your child grows up, to still be by his side?” the boy continued, looking at the only woman inside the room.
She only smiled at him and poked his cheek, sticking out his tongue. “Who did you think sent you the message?” she winked at Kazuya. “Now get the hell out of my room!” she shouted with a big smile on her face, forcing both of them to get out and bump into each other.

“Hey!” Jin shouted at soon as the door was closed in his nose.
He frowned and turned around at the laughing one next to him, which tried covering his mouth to avoid making loud sounds but couldn’t help but laugh even harder.
“What’s so funny?” Jin asked confused, frowning some more.
“I never knew this Jin but I’ll take my time to” Kazuya smiled back, closing in on Jin, kissing him.
“Does that mean…that…well…I …” he stumbled upon his words, feeling the younger one’s head for the first time I more than half of year.

Kazuya didn’t reply. He just took Jin’s hand and walked all the way to where is room was and opened the door to it. He was a bit surprised to see nothing changed but that made him happy as well. He unzipped his jeans and took of his boxers, then sat down on the edge of the bed. He slowly spread his legs and caressed his inner thighs, making Jin gulp and lick his lips like a hungry wolf. Kazuya sucked one of his fingers and then slid it down to his asshole, pushing it inside. A loud whimper came out of his mouth. He had been suffering because of his stupidity for so long that he wasn’t used to having something inside him anymore. Kazuya bit his lower lip and looked up to Jin, thrusting his own finger inside himself, preparing the hole for what followed. Jin licked his lips again and gulped even harder, finding the view too damn arousing. He couldn’t stop himself and he didn’t want to. He just grabbed Kazuya’s hair, pulling him into a passionate kiss. Kazuya encircled Jin’s neck with his hands and joined the kiss, sliding his tongue inside Jin’s mouth just to tease.
Akanishi gasped a bit when he felt his zipper undone and his trousers pulled down. Before he knew it, Kazuya was the one pulling him on top while leaning on his back. Kazuya spread his legs even more and then moved his lips to toy with Jin’s neck, biting a bit, so that he would get distracted from the hands that touched the throbbing crotch and placed it at the entrance inside him. Kazuya fell on his back and pulled Jin with him, moving his hips up, forcing the other to enter him. Both gasped in pain and shock but muffled the sounds with another passionate kiss. Jin took it all as an unspoken “Fuck me” and thrusted inside Kazuya with all his strength, making the younger one practically lift up in bed as to allow each penetration. He quickly found the sweet spot and pounded in it, deep and fast, making Kazuya twitch and shudder, moan as loud as he could through the kiss. Kazuya already knew what he had to do. He had slept with Jin many times before but before that there were no spoken feelings but confusion. Now, it was real. They both took a deep breath and initiated another passionate kiss, moving their bodies in sink, sweating and panting. Kazuya came first and Jin followed, filling him all the way in.

Akanishi watched as the younger one whimpered a bit as he tried standing up, obviously a bit hurt. Kazuya revealed a necklace hidden under his shirt and took it off, rolling the ring on it all the way into his hands. He stood up on his knees and offered it to Jin.
“What’s this supposed to mean?!” Jin almost shouted, refusing to take the ring.
“Let’s take it from the start. I have no more family left so I don’t belong to anyone. Let me join the clan since I don’t want to be a simple kid picked up out of mercy. I know it’s not mercy…but I rather it be like that. Take me in as a member and let’s start again.” Kazuya suggested with a big smile on his face.

Jin smiled as well, understanding what Kazuya meant, willing to take the ring back until they both went through the normal steps of a relationship. Well, an almost normal relationship. Jin did allow Kazuya to join and everyone was surprised to hear that. Jin actually offered to be his personal tutor so their lessons always ended up a bit too different from how they started, nonetheless, Kazuya learned fast. Now they could both go to Kazuya’s parents grave without hatred in their heart. It was a fresh start with a less scary Akanishi Jin and a far less depressed Kamenashi Kazuya.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 years later

A little child was giggling and clapping his hands, helped by his mother. They were both sitting at the table in the backyard garden, laughing hard at the show displayed for them. Ueda and Ryo were sitting together, hands entwined, smiling at each other, deciding to completely erase all memories of Ryo’s wife now that she gave birth as well. Yamapi was laughing his ass off, watching their leader getting his ass kicked.“Not fair!!!” Jin shouted while ducking, trying to stop a hit from Kazuya.
“You should be paying attention to the practice!” Kazuya complained, swinging his kendo sword again. In practice he never used a sword, neither did Jin, afraid they might end up seriously hurting each other and they couldn’t anyway, not since Rina and little Hiroshi joined the crowd and began laughing at them.
“Can’t help it.  Ever since I let you enter that damn university, you have taken away my privilege of having sex.” Jin pouted, stopping the furious kendo sword with his own.
“Here they go again…” muttered Ryo, rolling his eyes.
“They are quite …cute..” giggled Ueda.
“They are being complete idiots.” Corrected Yamapi. “Jin changed since he met Kazuya. He is…a kid…” he shrugged at the new behavior of their leader.
“Hiro-kun…when you grow up…be like Papa and not like Daddy, okay? Papa is smart and cute, and nice and friendly while Daddy is a horny idiot” Rina spoke while turning her baby around to face her. “Mama is glad they took it from the start” she smiled while tickling her child a bit.
“Kazzzzuu….” They all heard someone shouting their lungs out. “That’s it.” Akanishi broke down, throwing his weapon away. “As the leader of this clan, from now on, I forbid you to go to university anymore!” he muttered, pulling Kazuya after him.
“ Okay people…bets on!” Rina started, looking at the rest.
“ I bet Kazuya will let him have some and will still go to university!” Yamapi put some money on the table. Everyone looked at him and frowned. “As I thought….we all think that’s gonna happen, right?” he smiled next.
Everyone nodded.

A/N: i decided writing this last minute so i apologize for any confusion you might feel after reading it.
i just felt like it...and so i wrote it.