less cryptic.

[deerling]

we drank from six till two last night, mostly with people from his law school - aspiring prosecutors visibly blacked out, gesturing wildly and begging for a ride across the river to score some coke. the one girl i like from his class was there - a high strung 22 year old, over dressed most of the time in that california way, always 'legitimately

Comments

[thethief]

that was really good.

[deerling]

thanks.

[deerling]

the problem with that kind of processing & me is that i am the one who causes most of the problems. like, ryan isn't really doing anything to make me feel anxious about gina, i am making it all crazy and building it up. so, i don't want to throw this aside, because then i will just have to throw every relationship ever aside. i want to fix my brain, or at least figure out how to calm it some. you know?

also, i am obsessed with nostalgia - not only my past, but others too. it makes me assume that everything was better in the past - i want things back that were awful while they were actually happening. it makes it hard for me to realize that some people actually like the present, or even the future.

i don't know! i feel crazy most of the time, but i am very happy.

[shit_bird]

i absolutely relate with much of what you are feeling right now.