[For london9calling] Moonlight Thunder [2/2]
If Lu Han thought things were awkward when he hated Minseok, they're a million times more awkward now, at least to him. It's not the fact that he and Minseok had sex that's a problem. It's the fact that he and Minseok had what Lu Han thought was damn good sex, but now Minseok will barely look him in the eye, let alone talk to him. Lu Han can't stop thinking about it, but he's afraid to ask why.
They manage to work together, at least, talking when they need to and interacting while they sing, but everything feels artificial to Lu Han and it's hard to enjoy singing the way he usually does when he's distracted by thoughts of whether or not Minseok hates him now. He doesn't understand why he would when Minseok was the one who initiated things, but it sure feels like that. If Minseok does hate him, Lu Han has no idea what to do about it at this point.
Yixing's responsible for their next gig a few weeks later. It's another club, a little sketchier than the last, but more popular too. It's a good opportunity, and Lu Han is determined to put on a good show regardless of any personal issues he and Minseok may or may not be having. They can go back to the awkwardness that seems to be their default state when they get offstage.
Minseok must be thinking the same because on stage, he's smooth and relaxed, grinning and flirting with both the audience and Lu Han. It's a struggle for Lu Han to react in a performance-appropriate way, which is to say neither blushing and otherwise embarrassing himself nor jumping Minseok. Minseok's just so hot like this and Lu Han remembers how it felt to have Minseok inside of him and it's not fair that Lu Han can't have him again.
Somehow, though, Lu Han keeps himself under control, and he thinks he does a good job hiding what he's feeling. His voice comes out steady and strong. He struts around on stage without stumbling. He smirks at people in the audience and makes them scream. He cozies up to Yixing and Sehun and Minseok in turn, upping the ante each time until he wraps his arm around Minseok mid-chorus, pulling him back against him.
He feels smug when Minseok's voice briefly wavers, but it doesn't last because Minseok gets him back, executing one of his hip rolls right up against Lu Han's body. They are way too fucking close for that because if Minseok was a tiny bit taller, his ass would be rubbing right on Lu Han's dick. Under other circumstances, Lu Han might appreciate that, but considering how many people are watching them, he deeply regrets his actions.
Minseok quickly twirls away, flashing Lu Han a smirk as if to say, I win. Lu Han can't even bring himself to mind because at least Minseok is smiling at him. That's embarrassing, that he likes Minseok that much, and also unfair, but it's probably a lost cause already.
They finish well, Chanyeol dragging out the final lead out with a seemingly endless drum roll before ending with a big cymbal crash. The reaction is good, so good that they go back out for an unplanned encore, and Lu Han is riding a euphoric high as they pile off the stage. They all are, grinning and laughing at nothing in particular. "That was great!" Chanyeol declares, and they all enthusiastically agree.
Minseok, without an instrument to weigh him down, is bouncing on his feet. His eyes are sparkling and his cheeks are flushed and Lu Han wants to kiss him or touch him or maybe just talk to Minseok and have him keep smiling like he is, right at Lu Han. Minseok's eyes catch his and he does keep smiling, warming Lu Han's heart, but then his smile dims, that awkwardness Lu Han has become depressingly accustomed to creeping into his eyes. Why? Lu Han thinks, frustrated.
They hurriedly drop their things backstage before venturing out for celebratory drinks. Lu Han feels like he could use a drink or ten so he can stop thinking about Minseok and just feel happy that they did so well tonight. They do a toast (Yixing tries to give a rousing speech, but Sehun preempts him by drinking after a few words, and Lu Han follows his lead), but before Lu Han can seek out any more alcohol, Minseok puts a hand on his arm.
Minseok is still smiling, but barely, looking, if anything, nervous. Lu Han can't hear what he says the first time, so Minseok leans dangerously close to speak into his ear. "Can I talk to you?"
No. One drink isn't nearly enough to make Lu Han not be nervous about talking to Minseok or not think about how much he wants to feel Minseok's body against his like earlier. Maybe Minseok's looking for a reprise of what happened after their last show, but they're still too sober for that, and besides, Lu Han doubts Minseok would look so nervous if that's all he wanted. He wasn't shy about it last time.
"Okay," Lu Han answers after a longer pause than he intended, because what else can he say? He follows Minseok back to the dressing room, ignoring Chanyeol and Sehun's noisy protests.
The dressing room here is tiny and cluttered and they'd be hard-pressed to find a place to have sex without running into anything even if they wanted to. Judging by Minseok's expression, even more nervous, that's not what he's looking for. Lu Han has no idea what to think.
"Sorry if you wanted to drink," Minseok says. "I didn't think talking would do us much good if we were already drunk."
Lu Han nods and doesn't say anything. He has no clue what Minseok wants from him, so it's safest to keep his mouth shut.
"Anyway," Minseok continues after a long silence. "I...I'm sorry. If I've been acting weird. Since...last time. I don't want you to think that I...or I guess that I don't..." He flounders, looking pleadingly at Lu Han, but Lu Han doesn't know how to help. He doesn't understand at all what Minseok is getting at.
"It's okay if it was a mis-a one time thing," Lu Han finally says.
"Do you want it to be?" Minseok blurts out almost immediately, then frowns like he regrets his words.
"Do...do you?" Lu Han is so confused. What does Minseok want from him? He's the one who's been avoiding Lu Han since they had sex, not the other way around.
A long, tense moment passes. Finally, hesitantly, Minseok says, "I didn't think you were interested."
"After last time?" It sounds like Minseok is interested-in what, Lu Han isn't sure, but more than a single drunken fuck-but he doesn't want to assume.
Minseok shrugs. He's so different like this, unsmiling, shoulders hunched just a little, almost protectively. Lu Han remembers Minseok being insecure about his ability as a performer compared to Lu Han, but he can't possibly be unsure about this. He should know how attractive he is, how hard it is for Lu Han to resist him now that he can't deny that he wants Minseok anymore.
"I...you..." Lu Han looks for the best way to express what he's thinking and finally comes out with, "You're hot."
Minseok laughs, a short, nervous burst. "You're hotter."
"Do you feel threatened again?" Lu Han says it as a joke, but Minseok doesn't laugh. "Don't. You...no way. Don't be. You're really hot."
Minseok makes a face, embarrassed, but then he smiles. "So that means you are interested?"
"Yes," Lu Han answers immediately. "But not..." He thinks about how much he likes Minseok's smile, especially when it's directed at him. This is more than just finding Minseok attractive; he likes him. "Not just sex."
"Yeah?" Minseok looks surprised, Lu Han thinks, but not displeased. "Okay."
"Okay?" It seems too easy, after everything.
"Are you objecting?" Minseok raises an eyebrow at him. He looks so much more relaxed now.
"No!" Lu Han winces at how loudly it comes out, and Minseok chuckles.
"Then okay." One, two seconds pass and then Minseok asks, "Do you want to get out of here?"
Lu Han blinks stupidly at him. "Now?"
"Why not? It'd be nice when we're not drunk. Unless you need to be drunk."
He's teasing, and that feels really good, Minseok being comfortable enough with Lu Han and with what they're doing to tease. "No," Lu Han says quickly, before Minseok can think better of it. "Let's go."
~
Minseok lives closer, but they go to Lu Han's because he has his own place. It's a longer trip than Lu Han likes with Minseok sitting next to him, just barely touching. They didn't bother changing before they left and Minseok looks so good in his slightly rumpled stage look. Lu Han doesn't want to have to wait to kiss him, to touch him all over. They hardly talk, but Minseok smiles at Lu Han, not a smirk, but soft. Lu Han doesn't know what Minseok is trying to say with that smile, if anything, but he likes it.
At Lu Han's apartment, they kick their shoes off and drop their bags and stumble to the bedroom with their tongues already down each other's throats. The one drink Lu Han had earlier didn't do much and the performance high has faded somewhat, but he feels drunk on Minseok, on the taste of his mouth and the feel of his body and just the fact that they're together like this, all previous awkwardness forgotten now.
"What do you want to do?" Minseok murmurs when they reach the bed.
Lu Han can think of about fifty things he'd like to do right now, but in particular, he remembers Minseok moving against him earlier, on stage. "You..." It's hard for Lu Han to formulate words, especially words Minseok will understand, with Minseok's mouth still on him, barely leaving him space to talk. "During the performance. When you..."
"What?" Minseok breathes, lips on the underside of Lu Han's jaw.
Rather than attempting further speech, Lu Han takes Minseok's shoulders and turns him around. Minseok lets him do it, and Lu Han pulls him in, spreading his legs to bring himself closer to Minseok's height. "I never realized how dangerous your hips rolls could be until you did one against me."
Minseok snickers. "Oh?"
"If you were just a little taller, it would have been bad."
"I don't know." Minseok leans his head back on Lu Han's shoulder. "The audience might have liked that." He rocks into Lu Han, not really a full hip roll, but enough to make his breath catch.
"You're evil." Lu Han slides both hands under Minseok's shirt, getting some degree of revenge by dragging them over Minseok's nipples. He continues all the way up, tugging Minseok's shirt off and revealing his nicely muscled shoulders. His skin is smooth and Lu Han immediately sets to work marking it up, putting his mouth at the juncture of Minseok's neck and shoulder.
Minseok proves Lu Han's point by doing as close to a full body roll as he can with Lu Han's mouth on him, pressing right against his cock in a way that has to be deliberate. A lot of Minseok's on-stage attitude may be bravado, but it's clear that he knows what he can do to people, even if he didn't realize until tonight that he was doing it to Lu Han. He's doing a lot now, making Lu Han get hard in his too-tight pants.
Lu Han puts one arm around Minseok and plants his other hand right on the front of Minseok's pants, pressing down and feeling Minseok's answering shudder. Minseok's pants are leather, smooth under Lu Han's fingers, tight over his hardening cock. Lu Han traces it with his fingers and Minseok lets out a low groan that could be either approval or protest.
"Lu Han." He never realized how much he liked the sound of his name from Minseok's mouth until now. "That all you want to do?"
He does like the idea of teasing Minseok, seeing how far he'll be able to take it, how much he can make Minseok moan, maybe even beg. On the other hand, he wants it too, and in their current position, he suspects he'd break before Minseok would. He tightens his arm around Minseok, moaning himself as Minseok squirms against him.
"I..." He remembers last time, how good it felt having Minseok fuck him, but Minseok has such a nice ass and it's pressed right there and he wonders how Minseok would feel about switching it up.
Before he can figure out how to ask, Minseok makes an impatient noise and pulls out of his hold. He turns around, hops onto the bed and shimmies out of his pants and underwear, tossing everything to the side before looking up at Lu Han. His eye makeup is smudged in a way that looks artful instead of messy, making his eyes look so dark and intense, and Lu Han can't help staring. Then Minseok smirks, slowly spreading across his face, and asks, "Got any lube?"
Lu Han's not sure what the question is implying, but he doesn't care either way. He scrambles to grab the tube, and a condom too, handing both to Minseok. He puts the condom aside but opens the lube, pouring some over his fingers. Lu Han keeps staring until Minseok leans back against the headboard and spreads his legs and Lu Han realizes what he has planned. Then he keeps staring because how can he not when Minseok's about to stretch himself with his own fingers.
He doesn't look away until Minseok stops with his hand just resting between his legs. "You're making me nervous with your staring. Take your clothes off already." Lu Han wants to watch, but he does as he's told, hurriedly stripping off his clothes as he listens to Minseok draw in a sharp breath and then let it out slowly. He can just make out the slick sound when Minseok's lubed finger starts moving, and his harsh, uneven breathing.
By the time Lu Han is naked, Minseok's up to two fingers and his eyes are closed, his cheeks turning a pretty pink to match his swollen lips. He opens his eyes again when Lu Han gets on the bed, and they look even darker now. "Want to help?" he asks, offering Lu Han the lube.
It's a stupid question if Lu Han ever heard one. He snatches the lube out of Minseok's hand and hurriedly wets his fingers. Minseok keeps moving his fingers slowly in and out, lifting his other hand to circle the base of his cock. When Lu Han is ready, he pulls his fingers out, spreads his legs wider, and waits.
For a second, Lu Han feels a rush of panicked insecurities: what if he can't satisfy Minseok? What if he makes a fool if himself? What if Minseok decides he doesn't want him anymore? But while Lu Han may not be the smoothest guy out there, he has confidence in this. Besides, it's clear Minseok wants him. He's not going to screw this up.
He slides a finger into Minseok, his cock twitching in anticipation at the tight heat of his body. It goes in easily enough, so he adds another, watching arousal flicker over Minseok's expression. Minseok gives his cock a stroke and his muscles clench briefly around Lu Han's fingers, making him gasp. Lu Han takes that as a hint and starts to move, pumping his fingers into Minseok and moving them around inside.
Minseok was in control last time, but he doesn't seem to mind this either, and neither does Lu Han. He experimentally picks up the pace and Minseok moans but doesn't object, his legs spreading wider still. (He's flexible, Lu Han absently notes, his mind going to all kinds of interesting places with that.) He moans louder when Lu Han crooks his fingers inside, eyes going wide. Lu Han jabs his fingers in harder and Minseok arches off the bed.
"Fuck, hurry up," he grunts, just this side of pleading. It would be fun to play with him more, but that'll have to wait for another time because Lu Han doesn't have the patience now. He quickly adds a third finger and starts to move faster. Minseok's cheeks are flushed a nice red, his lips parted, his chest heaving, and Lu Han is aching to feel him.
Minseok stays on his back, bending easily when Lu Han pushes his legs up high. Lu Han thrusts into him like that, loving the way Minseok's body takes him in. Lu Han likes the sound of Minseok's singing voice well enough, but the throaty sounds of his moans as Lu Han fucks him are so much better. He's letting go now, eyes squeezed shut so all Lu Han sees is the dark shadow on his lids, and Lu Han thinks that if Minseok could see himself now, he'd never doubt that anyone in the world would want him.
Lu Han moves steadily, reveling in the tight press of Minseok's muscles, the warmth of his body, the extra clench when Minseok touches himself. Lu Han's body is buzzing with it, mixing with the thrill of their earlier performance and the excitement of this fresh, new thing between him and Minseok. It's so good, all of it, and he greedily wants more, doesn't want it to ever stop.
It can't last, of course, and soon it comes to a head, Minseok's voice rising as Lu Han's thrusts get shorter and faster. He opens his eyes and catches Lu Han's and Lu Han struggles to hold back, wanting Minseok to come before he does. He just barely manages it, hearing Minseok cry out and feeling his body shudder before Lu Han comes too, burying himself deep as pleasure courses through his veins.
Minseok pulls away first. He disappears into the bathroom and Lu Han gets nervous, but he's smiling when he comes out, walking over to flop back onto the bed. "Can I stay over?" he asks.
"Of course!"
Minseok laughs at how loudly he says it, but it's not cruel. "Good. Then go get cleaned up. I won't cuddle with anyone in your condition."
Lu Han laughs, partly at the comment and partly because Minseok wants to cuddle with him!! and hurries to do as he's told.
When he comes back, Minseok is under the covers, and he pulls them back to let Lu Han join him. "You're warm," he murmurs, snuggling close without hesitation, and Lu Han does indeed feel very warm, and also very happy. He couldn't have imagined that tonight would end like this, but now that it has, he thinks it's perfect.
"You know," Lu Han comments after a while, when they've settled into a comfortable position and he's relaxed enough not to think better of it, "I used to hate you."
"You what?" Lu Han's relieved that Minseok sounds more amused than surprised.
"You were big competition," Lu Han explains. Then, after a moment's thought, he admits, "And also maybe I had a crush on you I didn't want to accept."
Minseok chuckles softly, right by Lu Han's ear. "I see."
"You're really hot on stage," Lu Han continues, even if he probably shouldn't. "Really cool."
"You mean I act like a cocky asshole," Minseok says dryly.
Now Lu Han laughs. "Yes. But it's hot."
"I hate to break it to you, but I'm not really a cocky asshole."
"That's okay." Lu Han turns his head for a kiss and catches Minseok's chin. "Now that I know you, I like you not on stage too."
"Yeah? Me too. I like you, I mean." Minseok finds Lu Han's lips for a proper kiss, then smiles at him, all afterglow soft, and oh, yes, Lu Han likes offstage Minseok very, very much.
~ ~
It's just a competition, not so different from the many others. The only difference is that, if the rumors are to be believed, there are scouts here today, looking for talented individuals and groups to sign. This competition could be someone's big break, could be Lu Han's big break, and that's a lot more pressure than your average show or competition.
Everyone is talking about the scouts, and if they're not, they're talking about the new group that went second today. They're a bit more punk, with two strong singers the same age as Chanyeol, and they put on a very attention-grabbing show. It's just what Moonlight Thunder and all the more established groups didn't need today of all days, some flashy newcomers coming in and stealing their thunder (no pun intended).
Lu Han can never stand still for long, but today he's extra fidgety backstage, trying to distract himself from his killer nerves. There's one group that just went on stage and then one more before it's their turn and he just wants to get it over with already. Waiting is no fun, and it's even worse knowing what's at stake here, what could happen if they make a good impression.
Minseok watches Lu Han squirm for a few minutes before he whines, "Stop. You’re making me even more nervous."
"I can't," Lu Han whines right back.
Minseok makes an exasperated noise. He glances at the group on deck and then around at the other Moonlight Thunder members. "We'll be back." He doesn't offer an explanation, just takes Lu Han's arm and pulls him away.
"Don't forget to come back!" Chanyeol calls after them.
"Don't have too much fun!" Sehun adds.
Minseok drags Lu Han to the bathroom and right into a stall, locking the door behind them. Minseok's anxious expression is in sharp contrast to his rough stage look, which Lu Han finds cute (but also hot). It becomes even hotter (despite the fact that he can't see Minseok's face anymore) when Minseok kisses him good and hard, pressing Lu Han against the bathroom wall.
When Minseok pulls away, grinning, Lu Han says, "You know what would really help me relax? A backstage quickie."
Minseok rolls his eyes. "I don't do pre-performance quickies. Maybe post-performance, if we're feeling good after."
Lu Han's not sure he really means it (clubs are one thing, but there's no privacy backstage at these busy competitions), but he likes the idea a lot. "I'll settle for kissing for now?"
"Kissing I can do." Minseok does just that, kissing Lu Han breathless. Lu Han forgets all about his nerves, and everything else too. He fists his hands in Minseok's hair, holding him close, and kisses until the only thing on his mind is Minseok.
They're both reluctant to break apart, but Minseok holds Lu Han back with a hand on his chest when he tries to follow. "We have a show to do, remember? I promise you there can be more kissing after, whether we're feeling good or not."
They fix themselves up in the bathroom mirror, and Minseok winces as he attempts to tame his hair from the mess Lu Han made of it. "I don't know how I feel about the my-boyfriend-can't-control-his-hands style."
Lu Han grins, thinking more about how he likes Minseok calling him his boyfriend than about Minseok's hair. "I like it," he says. "You look hot."
"You always say that," Minseok grumbles, but it doesn't sound like he minds. "Come on, we should get back."
Yixing and Sehun both give them knowing looks when they get back, and Chanyeol opens his mouth to tease them, but Minseok clamps a hand over his mouth, yanking Chanyeol down to his level as he does. "Don't say a word." He let's go almost immediately, but Chanyeol keeps his mouth shut. (Lu Han is impressed, and also he finds it hot.)
The group before them is on stage now, and as they launch into their first song, Yixing asks them all, "Are you ready?"
"If by 'ready' you mean 'so nervous I could die...'" Lu Han says it in Chinese so only Yixing can understand.
"I don't know. You look a lot more relaxed after Minseok took care of you," Yixing replies evenly, then waggles his eyebrows in case Lu Han missed the innuendo.
"I'm going to assume you were talking about how ready and absolutely pumped for this performance you are," Chanyeol says.
"And how great you think Minseok-hyung is going to do," Sehun adds. "I heard his name in there."
"Yes, exactly," Yixing says with an innocent smile.
"We'll all do great," Minseok says firmly. "Right?"
"Right," Lu Han agrees.
Once they're out on stage, Lu Han's heart starts to pound again, and he bounces on his feet, clutching his mic tightly. What if they screw this up? What if they don't screw it up and they find themselves signed to a label with all the pressure that comes with that? It's been his dream for a long time, but it's so big that it's hard to believe it's a possibility, especially with this group that he never thought would work out so well.
Minseok comes over to him as the musicians get ready. He doesn't say anything, just smiles, nervous but happy. When the others go quiet, they introduce themselves, and then it's time. Lu Han turns back, taking a moment to smile at Yixing and Chanyeol and Sehun in turn. He remembers being very skeptical when they first merged, but now he thinks that with these members, he just might be able to do something big.
Chanyeol starts to count out a beat and Lu Han turns his attention forward again. Minseok is still standing next to him and Lu Han puts an arm around his shoulders, his nerves melting away. "Let's do this," he says quietly, and then, much louder, facing the enthusiastic crowd, "Let's go, Moonlight Thunder!"
Part 1 / Part 2