Mcu fic - We won't hear the morning break [Natasha Stark/Tony Stark, M]
Title: We won't hear the morning break
Pairing: Natasha Stark/Tony Stark, mentions of Natasha/Rhodey, Natasha/Bruce Banner, and Tony/Pepper
Rating: M, sooo soo M
Wordcount: 3714
Notes: Here there be Sibling Incest, kinda fucked up codependency and drug and alcohol abuse. I've always kinds of been stuck on the relationship Tony Stark might have had with a sibling if he had one. And also really wanted someone to tap on the fact that he speaks Italian. So this happened, and I'd apologize but aside from the fact that the first time they have sex they're like, 17-19 depending on how you want to interpret the timeline, everything going in is between consensual adults.
Translations! (Though I don't speak Italian fluently, so I apologize for possibly butchering the language.)
Tesoro = darling, or honey
Ti amo così tanto, idiota = I love you so much, you idiot
Fa male? = does it hurt?
Ci si ferma mai? = does it ever stop?
soprattutto, mi = mostly, me
Summary: There is only one Stark lost in the hot zone after the Jericho presentation, and that is true.
There is only one Stark lost in the hot zone after the Jericho presentation, and that is true. Tony insists, because he knew the risks, ran the calculations until his vision blurred and still decides to chance getting kidnapped -again, it's been a few years, he's starting to forget what its like- to put on this show.
Obadiah smiles, lays a heavy hand on Tony's shoulder and says, 'Good luck, my boy' and Tony doesn't let himself sink into the feel of his hand, big and warm and holding him steady, through his suit.
There is only one heir to Stark Industries, and that, as anyone who has spent a second in California or New York -or Paris or Milan or once in Beijing, they really aren't picky- can tell you, is false.
--
Tony and Tasha are inseparable. It's how things have always been with them, since they were born, and Tony can't imagine it any other way except that he's now intimately aware of how very alone he is without her.
--
It's not the first time they've been months without seeing each other, but it's the first time Tony's been dead. Tasha loathes, all consuming and easy as breathing and doesn't even bother trying to hide it. She goes to board meetings and drops by R&D and terrifies interns and stops answering after the third time Jim calls and says 'No one can find anything, Tash-'
Obadiah stops by once, twice, a hundred times and if he manages to get past Dummy bumping into his legs at the door of the workshop, its usually to find her draped over a tabletop in her sleep, goggles pushed up into her hair the way Tony always smiled over.
--
Her eyes are bright, red rimmed and angry -always, ever since the weapons demonstration she missed for board meetings that neither of them wanted to sit through and the call from Jim afterwards- when she watches Tony walk off the plane with Rhodey.
He squints against the sun, glares at the stretcher brought over for him and it's all she can do to keep her steps even, refusing to run because Tony is still Tony. No matter how many months have passed and how he's changed, Tony would never let her live down running into his arms like she wants to, just like the sparkle coming back into his eyes says he knows it'll happen soon anyways.
They don't get a second alone until after the press conference, after Obi spends a few minutes posturing and a few minutes more staring hungrily at the light in Tony's chest. They let Happy drive then home, with their sides pressed close together and his temple against the top of her head.
They don't get a second alone until they do, and Tasha sets her mouth in a familiar angry line before throwing her arms around Tony's neck, pressing her mouth against the scrape on his cheek, the stitches in his hairline, bruise under his eye. The edge of his jaw where there's a spot of grey in his beard that wasn't there before he left, the corner of his mouth. The whole time, Tony murmurs, 'I know babe, m'not going any where.'
--
There are four text messages saved and locked on Tasha's phone from the night Tony was kidnapped. She had been in bed, almost asleep in it for once because he wasn't there and cold for the same reason. Her phone had chirped. She smiled into the pillow that smelled like Tony's cologne and had Jarvis read it to her, shooting back a text before she fell back to sleep.
'Hope you didn't get too attached to hogging the sheets while I was gone babe, ' it reads, and the next, 'See you in a few hours.' It says 'I love you' even though Tony would never, not back than. By the time Tasha is awake he's gone.
--
'Is it true you went twelve for twelve with last year's Maxim cover models?' the man in the front seat asks and Tony leers, ice tinkling in his glass as they go along. The airman in the driver's seat with the amazing cheek bones rolls her eyes at him in the rearview mirror, taps out a beat that isn't the AC/DC they're listening to on the steering wheel.
'That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict, but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.' Tony lies as though he doesn't know what telling the truth tastes like, drinks his scotch, and smiles.
--
'You were the March cover, right?' Tasha reads the text and snorts. Shakes her head when Jarvis asks if she wants Dummy to pour her a drink.
'Don't be an asshole, asshole.' Tasha replies, but never gets a response.
--
Tasha doesn't mind that no one but her and Tony -and Obadiah, and Jim, and Pepper- know that they bullshit like it's breathing. She doesn't mind the sneers she's been on the receiving end of since her late teens, or paying Pepper just that little bit extra to show the women out the next day.
But for the record: Tony got January through June, Tasha got July through November. They shared December.
--
Months later, almost a year in fact, and SHIELD has them locked up in their own house and Tony is dying -'Again, how many times is it now, tesoro?'- and Tasha isn't much better off.
Finding the video, seeing Howard after nearly two decades; it stings, burns palladium bright in the veins. He looks up, looks right at the camera like he can see them standing there twenty years later in disbelief.
He says, 'What have always been and always will be my greatest creations are you, Tony and Natasha.' and Tasha's eyes flicker from the screen to Tony's face fast before she's laughing, too loud in the silence once the film rolls blank.
Tony's furious for the first time she's seen since Obadiah, and she laughs, too loud and brittle and it catches in her throat and lodges itself in the arc reactor mirrored in Tony's chest. Tony lifts a sledge hammer, tosses her one and growls orders at Jarvis to turn on the music and 'Louder, god damn it-' until Highway to Hell is thrumming in her blood. Tony screams along to every word.
Tasha tosses aside her hammer, takes Tony's face between her hands and kisses him; deep enough to have her chin rubbed raw by his beard, deep enough that when they pull apart they're both gasping.
'Ti amo così tanto, idiota.' Tasha murmurs, looks him straight in the eyes and means it.
'Me too.' Tony chuckles, pulls her close and lifts her chin and only then, with his breath ghosting over her cheeks, does she close her eyes.
--
Tony kisses Pepper, and that is true too. Tasha is leaning against Jim in the War Machine suit, hard wind-chilled lines digging into her shoulder and at her hip and she doesn't move. Doesn't hide the way her smile runs a little cold and ragged around the edges at the sight of another woman in Tony's arms.
She most certainly doesn't fuck Jim out of spite in the bed she's shared with Tony more often than she hasn't.
--
It wasn't always like it is now, or was before Afghanistan. When they were kids, when it was Tony and Natasha and they were still too young to protest much of anything. When it was Tony in the workshops with Howard and Natasha up in her room with Maria for ettiqute training and Italian lessons and the smoke of cigarettes stolen in doorways clinging to Maria's clothes.
Natasha drops the first two letters of her name around the same time Tony gets his diploma from MIT. Not allowed to walk during graduation, he stands as far to the front as he can, wearing oil stained jeans and a shirt that is too small on him - it's Tasha's, and her favorite, from the Motley Crüe show they snuck into a month ago- and he cheers louder than anyone else has when Tasha walks across the stage. She shakes the dean's hand and turns so her picture can be taken, winks at Tony cheering for her in her t-shirt.
Their parents aren't there, but Obadiah is, and he finds the twins hugging Jim between them, laughing when he flushes at the sight of the older man with his hands on his hips and a frown fighting a smile for dominance on his face. He snaps a picture of the three of them like that, laughing when Tony plants a kiss on Jim's then Tasha's cheek before stepping away.
'I'm proud of you, Natasha.' he says, hand in the center of her back as he leans down to whisper it when Jim takes their picture, and she freezes until he moves his hand away, turns to shake someone's hand.
'Ti amo così tanto, idiota.' Tony murmurs against her cheek, trying to get her to stop thinking so much when Obadiah takes a picture of just the two of them, like he knows how Obadiah sets her on edge though she's never voiced it. She smiles, eyes dancing happily and entirely focused on her brother.
--
Obadiah is the only one still calling her Natasha, until he isn't. (But that's because he's stopped calling anyone anything, isn't it?)
--
Tasha puts on the suit like she puts on every piece of armor she wears, rolls her shoulders back and keeps her spine straight; grins and knows it's a little manic, more than a little angry.
'Offer to go a few rounds in the suit still stand, Cap?' she shouts with the faceplate up, and somewhere behind her Tony laughs.
'Of course, Ms. Stark.' Captain-god-damn-America says, sneers across the near empty vehicle bay of the helicarrier at her, straps his shield onto his back and jumps off into the night.
'Shit.' Tasha growls, throwing her faceplate down and taking off all at once.
It takes her approximately 2.73 seconds to catch him, and another five to fly them somewhere secluded enough to throw him to the ground like she's wanted to since he crossed her brother.
Three minutes and they call it even, to keep going would only mean one of them ripping the other's head off. She pulls her helmet off, let's her hair down and winces when it catches on an edge of the suit or tangles in the breeze.
Steve has his cowl pushed back, and he meets her eyes -something like regret or maybe understanding there- as he asks, 'You really love him, don't you?'
'Like a fucking death wish.' she whispers, puts her arms around his waist and flies them back to HQ.
--
They don't-- their relationship wasn't always what it is now, or was before Afghanistan. They lean on each other maybe a little more than was healthy, fight viciously the few times they actually do fight. They sneak into each other's rooms not to fool around, but to brainstorm drafts of weapons, clean energy turbines, and once -while Tasha was coming down off of an ecstasy high- tried to figure out how to make a Delorean time machine.
--
There is a car accident, and if it wasn't for Tony's insistence that Tasha spend St. Patrick's day with him in Boston, there is 78% chance she would have been in the car with Howard and Maria.
--
There is a car accident, and then a funeral that one of them is too drunk and the other too shellshocked to pay attention to.
(Jim calls early in the day, before they leave for the funeral and Tasha picks up. He can hear the chime of ice in a glass and the careful way she's speaking and knows she's been drinking for a while before Tony pulls the phone from her hand and tells him so.
'Is she okay? Are you?' he asks and doesn't call him on it when Tony lies and says, 'Yeah, we're fine Rhodey.')
--
'Fa male?' Tony asks, his voice a whisper and she groans, hand coming up and carding through his hair, skimming down the curve of his spine and back up to set nails in his shoulder blades.
'Ci si ferma mai?' she wants to ask, and doesn't. She knows that's not what he's talking about but it's still there, fresh in her mind and she can't help it, so she pushes it back.
She tugs at his hair, pulls his mouth down to her own for a kiss that should be filthy, it's what she wants it to be, but instead it is slow and careful; oddly reassuring. She adjusts her ankles at the small of his back and pulls him in closer, deeper. 'Come on, do it.' she whispers, and closes her eyes until she feels him move.
--
They don't sleep with nearly as many people as people seem to think.
They do however keep some of the more fantastic rumors going themselves, if only to keep everyone from the truth.
--
Tasha Stark is on the March cover of Maxim. She's in their workshop, anything of real importance hidden away from cameras and crew. Perched on the edge of one of the tables, shes pale under the florescent lighting. Her usual business attire -gold button-down over the deep red lace of her bra, charcoal skirt hiked up around her thighs- is smudged artfully with grease and grime.
Her smile, when she smiles, is all for Tony standing over the camera man's shoulder.
--
'He wants to fuck you.' Tony whispers. He runs a hand filthy from work along her cheek, stands back and hums approval before leaning back in and rubbing his hands over her chest and neck.
'Who does?' Tasha breathes, eyes narrowing when he flicks another button open on her top.
'All of them,' he whispers, kisses her cheek and adds, 'soprattutto, mi.'
Tasha laughs, is still smiling when they start taking her picture.
--
'You really love her, don't you?' Bruce asks as they both watch Tasha go up the stairs, the swish of her hose and click of her heels muted by the sound proof glass but nevertheless fresh in Tony's mind.
'Like I love science and scotch.' Tony grins, smiles when Bruce snorts a laugh and rolls his eyes. He most certainly doesn't glare at the way Bruce's expression softens when Tasha bends at the top of the stairs to wave goodbye.
--
'Textbook narcissism?' Tony asks, looks between his sister and Fury's eyepatch. Tasha sticks her tongue out at him without looking up from her own SHIELD assessment.
Tony lingers over the lightening of her hair from being in the sun more than she used to, the slope of her nose, the way her eyes narrow as she reads. He knows, of course, that she's beautiful, but he forgets it or doesn't pay it any attention so often that it takes him by surprise.
'Agreed.' Tony says and sticks his tongue out at Tasha, just to be even.
--
Tony looks like Howard. Around the same height and build, black hair, and warm, intelligent brown eyes. Tasha looks like her father as well, but there are slight variations. The softer line of her jaw, the shape of her mouth, her eyes. Tasha got all of those things from Maria.
--
There is a shiny new suit, smaller, lighter, curves where Iron Man is sharp lines and that menacing scowl. They sleep for a full day once it's coded, fabricated and painted.
'I'm thinking we keep with the trend and call you Iron Maiden.' Tony says, voice warm on the side of her neck before he nips at her shoulder as he stand with his arms around her middle and they look at the suit.
--
Tasha doesn't read her assessment aloud because she knows all if this already. The anger issues, her drinking problem, her public image -though it's not as bad as Tony's, there are still a few videos of her naked and blissed out on the internet- her lack of self preservation and the borderline insane protective instincts when it comes to her brother.
She knows all of that, sees it proven every day when she pulls her head out of whatever she's working on to take a look at the world. Sees it when she stands in front of a mirror and is frozen, just for a second, when her eyes catch on the blue-white glow of the arc reactor in her chest every time.
What it all amounts to this; Iron Man: Yes; Tony Stark: No. Iron Maiden: Maybe; Tasha Stark: No
--
Tasha is 38, and her heart stops. It's Tony's idea to throw this party, and she knows something is very, very wrong, but for the first time in their lives he's not telling her.
He drinks himself stupid, and Natalie watches from the corner of the room. Tasha stops matching him shot-for-shot after he pours himself into the suit and let's Pepper try to talk to him down.
'It's not easy for you, is it?' Natalie asks, at her side suddenly and offering her a drink. Tasha takes if but doesn't drink it, smiles sharp and let's her see, really see Tasha. She gets an almost approving smile for it before Tasha say, 'What makes you think any of this was ever easy?'
--
Tasha is 38, and her heart stops. There is no preamble; no doctor's warnings to slow her life down or watch her blood pressure, no warnings from her body.
One moment she's standing between Iron Man and War Machine, screaming at them to 'Get your shit together, you fucking idiots!' Watching them raise their arms.
The next she's being slammed backwards through a wall, landing on something sharp that decides to make itself cozy with her insides, and then she-
--
Tasha wakes up with an arc reactor in her chest, and Tony sitting beside her. His hands are covered in blood. If he's been crying she can't tell past the shine of a hangover descending on him and the glow of the reactor just above her breasts.
'Fa male?' he asks, and she groans, hand coming up and blocking the light in her chest from her eyes.
'Ci si ferma mai?' she asks, and when he won't meet her eyes tells him to bring them doughnuts.
--
Tony puts on the suit like he puts on every piece of armor he wears, meticulously and flawed in spite of the cracks it has, or maybe because of it.
'I am Iron Man.' he says and Christine Everhart is the front row looking as surprised as any woman might. Tasha is behind Tony with Jim, her arm in a sling. She arches an eyebrow at Jim beside her, huffs a laugh when he frowns, and grins.
--
Tasha wakes up with an arc reactor in her chest, and Tony sitting beside her.
'Rhodey. Really?' he says, and she doesn't wince. He throws back the sheet she's -naked beneath, but that's nothing new- tangled in, the light of their arc reactors bathing them in light in the twilight of the bedroom with the windows blacked out.
'Pepper. Really?' she counters, eyes hard and she watches Tony watch her. She licks her lips, tracks the bob of his adam's apple and rises up on her elbows. She holds her chin up and doesn't back down.
--
Tasha is working off an adrenalin high in the gym when Obadiah walks in. His stride is easy, his hands in his pockets and he's trying so hard to remain casual he sets her on edge.
'I didn't realize you were home, Natasha.' he says, pulling something from his pocket. He's wearing earplugs.
'Oh, you know me Obi,' she says, tossing her boxing gloves onto the couch against the far wall,'Full of surprises.' She holds her chin up and doesn't back down.
--
'Come on, do it.' she says, and closes her eyes -light shines blue-white behind her eyelids, her chest aching like one big bruise- until she feels him move.
--
Tony crawls towards her on the bed that still smells like the two of them, for all that it had spent a fair amount of the early morning with Jim rolling around in it with her. He trails his ring and middle fingers up Tasha's calf, brushes them over the front of her knee and rubs a circle on the inside of her thigh with his thumb.
He pulls her into his lap, well worn denim soft on the back of her legs, and a possessive hand kneading at the small of her back. Pulls her in tight, until the glass cover of their arc reactors clink together, and his beard scratches against the side of her neck. She breathes deep and smiles.
--
They're consultants, con-fucking-sultants and Tony bristles at the fact at least five times a day, so she hears. Tasha has been dodging calls from Tony since she moved what little she had in Stark Tower into the SHIELD facility, reads texts from Pepper updating her on how things are there and doesn't respond to either of them.
She works, builds, and gets new burns on her fingers and hands and one in a line up the side of her calf that burned white hot for the second metal touched flesh and throbbed for hours afterward.
--
Tasha puts the suit on like she puts on every piece of armor she wears, rolls her shoulders back, keeps her spine straight and falls jumps; than flies.
--
Banner keeps to himself mostly, and Tasha finds herself going out of her way to spend time with him despite having read his personnel file. When she doesn't actively seek him out, he's taken to finding her.
He'll drop down beside her on the workbench, smelling like the teas he drinks instead of coffee and phosphorus smoke, and it's different and familiar all at once.
'That's amazing.' he says one day, and the way his voice catches brings her eyes up and away from her gauntlet she's repairing. His smile is soft, tentative, but there's a fierceness in his eyes that tells her he won't back down as he leans forward into her space. She breathes deep and smiles.