Read You Like a Magazine (3/6) [for shrdmdnssftw]
one | two | part three | four | five | six
The worst part about letting his guard down around Jaebum is that Jaebum seems to take the smallest sign of Jinyoung surrendering to Jackson's EVERYONE SHOULD BE FRIENDS BECAUSE I SAID SO spiel as genuine interest. Jinyoung doesn't have the heart to tell Jaebum that he's only putting up with him because he'd rather not have Jackson breathing over his neck for taking away his shot at breaking into the Korean entertainment industry the rest of his life. Jinyoung is a realist through and through.
"He honestly thinks we're friends," Jinyoung complains to Yugyeom. "He tells me all the things he does every day and it's so annoying because I could care less about whatever insane project his professors assign him or which unfortunate soul he and his friends are dicking around with now, I really give zero fuck."
"Sounds like your friendship with Jackson-hyung to me," says Yugyeom, blandly. Jinyoung has to gag, even if the loose, casual way Jaebum talks to him now makes his chest feel a little light. It's a stark contrast to Jaebum's tight-fisted attitude towards talking about himself initially, but the speed at which he's actively volunteering information about himself would make Jinyoung concerned about Jaebum's willingness to trust relative strangers with stories of his private life. He could be selling blind items about Jaebum's obsession with his cat, never mind that Jinyoung's heart tends to go into overdrive every time Jaebum shows him pictures of a sleeping Norah curled up against Jaebum's side on his phone.
He blames it on the insane amount of caffeine he's been ingesting. These heart palpitations have got to stop right now.
It's not necessarily bad, though. Jaebum spends more time in the library than ever, but they don't really talk, already falling into that sphere of comfort where they don't need to do more than nod and greet each other, if only Jinyoung's stomach didn't stop churning. This, he blames on indigestion. The feeling of weightlessness he attributes to a skipped meal. (Jinyoung is very good at justifying things for himself.)
If he's being really honest, the utter disdain and loathing has subsided into a low hum of occasional exasperation. Jinyoung still puts in the token effort of displaying his discontent, but Jaebum is - and Jinyoung can't believe he's saying this after all the hours he's spent bitching at Yugyeom - actually a humble person underneath all the pretenses of swagger for the public. It's difficult to continue to rail about injustice when Jinyoung can see that Jaebum deserves it if the hours he puts in his work and the somber hunch of his back can attest to it. He'd expected Jaebum to spend all his time in the library goofing off and flirting with anything and anyone with a pair of legs, and it makes Jinyoung feel antsy all over when he's proven wrong about that.
So the pop star actually has a brain, he thinks, rolling his eyes, and immediately feels guilty after, because he knows that Jaebum is far from stupid. It's just so easy to write him off as a dumb celebrity riding the coat-tails of his agency's success to win at life.
Jaebum's confessed off-hand that he sometimes thinks about going back to the life of an idol full time, especially when he's so frustrated at seemingly unsolvable problem sets and multiple drafts and revisions that don't please his professors. Jinyoung had been shocked when Jaebum had brought it up in the middle of one of their detours to the vending machine, but all he could do was frown at the can of strawberry milk Jaebum had gotten for him.
What do you say to a guy that buys you a drink in the middle of a hot afternoon? He had to choke down the bitter "you're rich enough anyway" because Jinyoung's not an ingrate on purpose. Instead, he'd put his foot in his mouth (way to go, Jinyoung) and stuttered out, "You're too hot to die in a freak accident at a laboratory, you should think about it."
"Okay," Jaebum had said, hiding a smile behind a sip of his own soya milk. "Maybe I'll start with a few commercials in my free time."
Jinyoung's life, it's so surreal. Who even gives out advice to former teen idols anyway? Apparently Jinyoung, that's who. "Yeah, you do that."
More than the initial feelings of shame at his own uncharitable thoughts ("Yes Yugyeom," he spits out, "I have a conscience."), it's not just the coincidental meetings and the frequent time spent around each other that make Jinyoung think that Jaebum's not so bad. A guilt-ridden and shamelessly self-serving part of Jinyoung also finds that Jaebum takes good notes. Really good notes. Much better notes than the illegible scrawl Jackson has, and they're organized by category into separate colors and fuck, Jinyoung would be in love if it didn't kill him to even ask for Jaebum's help, or even his time.
And Jaebum - he gives it without Jinyoung having to ask anyway, in the same way that he feeds him muffins and plies him with coffee, acting like the perfect boyf-- bro that his friends aren't. They get marginally close enough for Jinyoung to grudgingly admit that, yeah, this is nice, they're not just one-sided friends anymore, maybe, and some time in between the fifth time Jaebum ropes him into breakfast and the nth one that they walk to the library together, Jinyoung forgets himself and accidentally calls Jaebum "hyung" in front of Jackson.
Jackson almost looks like he's having a heart attack or passing out while choking on his burger, which is just -- whatever. Jackson is so dramatic.
Hyung? REALLY? Jackson texts. Jinyoung doesn't reply because Jackson doesn't deserve to eat up his phone credits more than he already does, never mind that his data plan has unlimited messaging services.
Ten minutes of his phone going off and Yugyeom kicking him out of his room for being too noisy, Jinyoung gives in.
"When are you going to tell me you're dating my man JB?" Jackson demands.
"He's not your man," Jinyoung sighs, already regretting picking up. He's determined to keep this as long and drawn-out as possible so he could drain Jackson's money in revenge. "And you call him hyung too!"
"Yeah, but I don't catalogue the many hairstyles he's had in the past," Jackson snorts. "Nor do I keep finding excuses to fall into his lap."
"There was a bee flying around--"
"Out of all that bullshit, not once did I hear a denial about you dating him," says Jackson. "So when's your next study date? Can I crash and bring popcorn with me?"
"It's not a date," Jinyoung hedges. "And you know food isn't allowed inside."
"Say that again when you stop smuggling rice crackers inside. Speaking of which, did hyung give you that really nice box of biscuits he got from work?"
"No," Jinyoung lies, nudging the tin container aside. His stomach is acting up again. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Liar, I can smell your chocolate-dipped shame from here," Jackson scoffs. "You still haven't answered my first question."
"I don't know," Jinyoung grumbles. "We just keep bumping into each other."
"How are you so stupid?" Jackson fake-sobs into his phone.
Jinyoung hangs up.
Their first big argument happens sooner than he thinks.
He's kind of stopped thinking about any potential crime scenes involving him and Jaebum since they'd settled into their… thing that he's overestimated the extent of Jaebum's patience and his willingness to deal with other people's crap. Jinyoung knows he's a difficult person on occasion, and having Jackson around is like asking an arsonist not to set something on fire. It just doesn't happen.
Really, it's bound to happen one way or another.
Jackson and Jaebum are hanging around near Jinyoung's counter at the library - well, Jackson is, scooting his chair close enough to bother Jinyoung and indulge in gossip with Jimin at the same time. Jaebum is trying to work from the table a few feet away, close enough to hear everything. It's a slow enough shift that Jinyoung is actually entertaining Jackson's attempts at distracting him from his job, so it takes a while before Jinyoung actually notices the girl waiting by the counter.
"Hi," she says, shyly holding up a book. Jinyoung's eye twitches at the cover. "Can I borrow this?"
"Sure," says Jinyoung, beaming even as he dies inside at the student's literary choices. He glances at her ID. Go figure.
Jackson is hiding his head behind his hands, shaking with visible laughter. He manages to hold it in until the girl is distant enough to not hear them at all, and whacks him on the side with a rolled up newspaper.
"Oooh," Jackson breathes, eyes flitting back and forth from Jinyoung to the other student. He laughs at Jinyoung's defiant sniff. "Your judge-y face is on point today."
"What are you talking about?" Jaebum asks. He's come up to them since Jackson had started imitating a dying animal with the way he'd had to hide his sniggering. "Jinyoung's not that bad."
"Are you kidding me?" Jackson breaks out into a peal of laughter, much harder than before. Several students a few feet away glare at him. "Jinyoung's the most judgmental person in the world. Queen bitch material, this dude."
"He looks pretty harmless to me," says Jaebum. He looks a bit uncomfortable, but Jinyoung is too busy trying to suffocate Jackson with his jacket in an effort to shut him up to even notice.
"Harmless?" Jinyoung squawks. "I'm not harmless."
Jackson mutters something like "love is blind" under his breath, but Jinyoung thinks he's probably hearing things again. "Jinyoung has this really weird habit at work," says Jackson, once he's fended off Jinyoung. "Like, all the people that approach him at the counter? He's been judging them based on the books they checked out and filtering their literary tastes by faculty since last semester."
Jackson's laughter tapers off once he realizes that Jaebum isn't joining in. Jaebum's eyes are wide and he's biting his lip, looking askance. Jinyoung's skin prickles with discomfort at his inspection. "Uhhh, are you okay, man?"
"That's very… detailed," says Jaebum, slowly. He sounds a little more than upset. "And kind of mean-spirited, I guess?"
Jinyoung and Jackson gape at him, more out of mortification on Jinyoung's part. Like Jaebum even has any room to talk. Jinyoung's not the one with a string of scandals in tabloids to his name.
"I'm a pretty good judge of character," says Jinyoung defensively. "It's been a reliable yard stick by far."
It's not the smartest comeback in the world, and judging by how Jaebum's cheeks are red, it's also the wrong thing to say.
"Really?" Jaebum snorts, skeptical. From the way his eyes seem to go dull, he looks wrung out and inappeasable. He's toying with a paper clip and picking it apart until it's just one straight line. "By basing it off of their books?"
"Well this is awkward," Jimin mutters, to the side. Jackson pushes his chair back and stares at them with wide eyes.
Jinyoung takes a deep breath. Counts to three in his head, backwards, before he opens his mouth. "Books are a reflection of -"
"Bullshit," says Jaebum, without a hint of a smile. He props his arm against the counter and meets his gaze head on. "That girl that just checked out the Shopaholic series is an aeronautics major on the Dean's list since her freshman year. Tell me you didn't side eye her just for that."
Jinyoung can't speak, too humiliated to do more than glare at Jaebum. Jackson, the coward, holds up his hands in surrender and takes it as his cue to slink away, seeking salvation in Jimin's area. Jinyoung grabs a stapler and busies himself with paperwork that could actually wait until tomorrow, but fuck it, Jaebum doesn't need to know that.
"Did you need anything else?" Jinyoung demands, when Jaebum keeps leaning against the counter and eyeing him with something akin to disappointment. He swallows. "Other than to crush my pride, that is."
"Wow, you really don't take criticism well, do you?" says Jaebum. He keeps his lips pursed and his chin perched on his palm. "You're so hard to read sometimes that you always surprise me."
Jaebum reaches out to take the piece of office equipment in Jinyoung's hands, but all he manages to do is touch the inside of Jinyoung's wrist. Jinyoung yanks the stapler out of his grasp. "More than you did on Star Golden Bell when you just debuted and had a mini-tantrum off air," Jinyoung retorts.
"Huh," says Jaebum, warily. He drops his hand to his side. "I didn't know I had an inquisition in my hands. How do you even remember that?"
Jinyoung sniffs, and looks away.
Jaebum taps the side of the desk, drumming to an imaginary beat to his head. He does this a lot when he's distracted, when he's really thinking about what to say to Jinyoung, but never like this. "I'll admit I didn't exactly have the best reactions when I was younger," says Jaebum. "I won't make excuses for it, but I hope you don't make excuses for yourself either."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I think you've been judging people your entire life and it's not really a nice way to look at the world, isn't it?" Jaebum says off-handedly, like he's just commenting on the weather and not decimating Jinyoung's life choices with a single blow. "Jackson told me about that audition thing, by the way. And about how you have, like, ten copies of my sordid past."
"Oh my god," says Jinyoung. The stapler falls from his hands and hits the floor. Someone -- Jackson, most likely, or Jinyoung himself - makes choking noises. Jinyoung wonders if it's too late to hide under the table and pray Jaebum doesn't talk to him ever again.
"I don't know if I should call you immature or a stalker," says Jaebum, but he doesn't sound mad about it. Just amused and defeated, "but I'll make sure to laugh at you about it in the future."
"-- and then he had the gall to walk away, like some person from a bad web drama pretending to be cool," Jinyoung seethes, hitting the volleyball with as much force as he can. Mark's been tossing balls to him since he'd demanded it after his shift, and it had been the combination of physical activity and Jinyoung that had made Mark look more awake and concerned than ever. Jinyoung knows Mark has class right now, so he's grateful that he's skipping it like a good friend. Or an irresponsible student. Jinyoung never knows with Mark. "Who does that in real life anyway?"
"Jackson does," Mark says, not even flinching when the ball flies past him. He picks up another one at his feet and tosses it to himself a few times, like he doesn't trust Jinyoung not to smack it to his face. "He's pretty dramatic that way, in case you forgot."
"Jackson doesn't count," says Jinyoung. "Jackson never counts." He glowers at the ball in Mark's hands. "Which reminds me, if you see Jackson, send him my way so I can kick his ass."
"You're wearing your homicidal face. Please don't contemplate murder," says Mark, deadpan. "You have to think about your future, Jinyoung."
Jinyoung wrestles the ball out of Mark's grip and heads over to the nearest wall, which might be more responsive than his current partner. "I don't trust myself to not hit him if he breathes."
Mark lets him take out his frustrations for a few rounds, going back to the bench to grab a couple of water bottles. He throws one to Jinyoung, who catches it with some difficulty.
"Look," Mark begins, tentatively. "It's not like the guy doesn't have a point. You know this."
"I resent that you've taken his side," Jinyoung says, grumpily taking a swig from his drink. "And he's just a hypocrite attacking other people when he has his own image to worry about."
"I call bullshit."
"Tough, but that's all you're getting out of me."
"You're being irrational. Stop being irrational, how are we supposed to function without a sane person?"
"First of all, we really have to stop letting Jackson talk us into things-"
"Never mind," says Mark. Mark is unhelpful about giving advice, as always, and very prone to being biased. This is why Jackson gets away with so much shit. "Don't deflect. Why don't you just accept that Jaebum is right and give him a chance?" Mark sighs. "I know you're competitive, but that audition thing was years ago, wasn’t it?"
"I've been giving him a chance since I shut up about how infuriating he was," Jinyoung points out.
"You just stopped venting," says Mark. "Doesn't mean that you actually stopped holding a grudge."
Talking to Mark is tiring, because while Mark doesn't really like to involve himself in conversations too much, when he does, he doesn't meander with his words. He's a little like Jaebum that way, too direct, even tactless, and it just stings. Suddenly, Jinyoung doesn't feel so thirsty anymore.
"Whatever," Jinyoung pouts, capping and tossing his water bottle to the side. "He's just a kid."
"That kid might wind up being the future president of South Korea, and then what are you gonna do when he has the secret service hunt you down?"
"Nah, he's gonna be a chaebol," Jinyoung says, crossing his arms. He's panting by now, breathless and out of shape. It's already hot out, and thinking about Jaebum isn't helping. "That's what always happens to these engineering kids."
"It's more likely that he'll be an expat, but whatever," says Mark. "Are you gonna rail at his hypothetical future of making a career in a multinational company that sucks the lifeblood of the environment, or are you gonna exaggerate more of his flaws?"
Jinyoung gapes. "No," he lies. "I would never."
"I don't think you're mad about Jaebum being himself," says Mark honestly. "I think you're angry he called you out, and that he's right." His unsmiling face breaks in a second, impish. "Also, don't think I don't know that you called him hot to his face."
Fuck. Mark's right. Jinyoung is a sad, sad boy nursing a hopeless and superficial crush on a pop star, and now he's moping for getting on his bad side. What is his life.
Jinyoung brings his knees up and bends forward to press his face against his thighs, sweat and grime sticking to his skin. It feels as disgusting as his soul. "He said in the future, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Mark's most likely trying to go for consoling, but he's sounding increasingly patronizing in the darkness of Jinyoung's misery. "It's a good thing, see? It's not like he's going to quit talking to you forever just because you showed him a side you don't want other people to know about." He pauses. "Or, at least, a side Jackson exposed, but let's not get into that."
"When did this happen? When did I stop thinking he was irritating as hell?" Jinyoung wails. "When did I even care about what he thinks of me?"
He can't see Mark, not even when he collapses on his side and curls up in a fetal position. He can hear Mark shuffling forward, and he's either hovering or kneeling over him, blocking the sun from his eyes. "You are easy to bribe with food."
Mark seems to take his prone form as a sign of surrender, not as a signal of distress. The future looks grim and bleak. Jinyoung reevaluates the feasibility of his initial plans of monkhood. Surely he still has time.
"This is like Jackson all over again," Jinyoung despairs. "I knew I should have shut him down forever. Nothing Jackson does is beneficial to me."
Mark laughs and ruffles his hair. "Just go with it, Jinyounggie," he says. "I trust your life choices."
"What if I don't trust myself?" Jinyoung asks, sounding small.
"Then don't do anything." Mark shrugs and comes to a stand. Jinyoung peeks at him and watches Mark pick up the nearest ball and tuck it under his arm. "No point in making things so complicated for yourself."
"I'm a hormonal young adult," Jinyoung drones on. "It's part of my job description to be complicated."
"If you say so," says Mark, rubbing his arms. "Just. Please don't kill Jackson yet. I think I might miss him a little bit if you do."
"I'll do my best," says Jinyoung, grimly, "but it might be a good idea to give me a wide berth until I stop feeling the need to punch something or someone."
"I'll make sure to tell Jackson to stay far away," promises Mark.
Not far away enough, because Jackson is back to bothering him not a few days later.
"So the bad news is, hyung's still a little upset with you," Jackson says by way of greeting. He looks at Jinyoung warily before testing the waters by nudging his hip. Jinyoung chokes on his milk tea.
"Leave me alone," Jinyoung intones, once he's recovered from near-death by boba.
"Nope," Jackson pipes up. "You're kinda dangerous when left alone. Yugyeom's ordered a neighborhood watch on you, and you know he has our balls in a vice grip."
Jinyoung shrugs off the arm Jackson's slung around his shoulder, but Jackson is nothing if not stubborn and a whore for skinship. "Yugyeom can mind his own business."
"The good news is, I'm pretty sure he's accepted the fact that you're not as nice as he thinks you are," Jackson continues, ignoring him. "Which, by the way, is a lapse of judgment on his part."
"I'm so glad you're so invested in upholding my image," says Jinyoung, wiping at a sticky trail of cha. Jackson has the gall to wrinkle his nose at that.
"Hey, I'm not the one having a self-inflicted competition over pretending to be indifferent about what a hot guy thinks about me."
"Are you sure you're up for talking about that?" Jinyoung bites out. "Are you, hypocrite?"
Jackson shakes his head and steals his milk tea in revenge. "I'm running interference for you and this is the thanks I get?" He takes an obnoxiously loud slurp out of the straw, to Jinyoung's horror. He hopes a bubble gets stuck in his air pipe. "Mmm, get wintermelon next time."
"You wouldn't even be doing this if you hadn't opened your mouth," he grouses. "And buy your own food, you leech."
"I can't help it if you two are blind in completely different but similarly annoying ways," Jackson grumbles dramatically. "You're just mad you lost your personified wallet. You haven't spent a single won on drinks since hyung started looking at you with disgusting stars in his eyes."
Jackson finishes the rest of the tea with as much noise as he can and tosses the cup into a nearby trash bin. He misses, predictably, and shrugs, leaving Jinyoung to pick it up when a passing professor gives them a dirty look.
"What stars? You're delusional," Jinyoung shouts after him, shaking a fist.
"He's gonna be at Youngjae's frat party tomorrow," says Jackson. "The one from BA, not our Youngjae. You should come."
Jackson knows Jinyoung hates frat parties. They're always packed with sweaty, intolerable people that insist on body shots and beer pong, so Jinyoung's not too sure what the appeal in it is outside of humiliating himself further in front of Im Jaebum.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"For a smart person, you're really dumb," Jackson sighs. Jinyoung shoves at his arm.
"I have a 3.7 average, you're not fooling me, Mr. B+ but nearly failing --"
"Dumb and boring," Jackson sing-songs. "You're never gonna show up."
Jinyoung is a very easy person to goad, and from the smirk on Jackson's face, he knows it. He's also prone to taking any and all opportunities to prove Jackson wrong, and is unfortunately weak to social pressure of the vocal kind. A regrettable tragic flaw, he thinks later, as Yoo Youngjae and Hwang Kwanghee gang up on him and continue to refill his overflowing drink in hand. Judging from the alcohol content of the supposed keg, he's not even sure if he's going to be able to see Jaebum tonight without passing out.
From the way Kwanghee and Youngjae seem to be multiplying exponentially in his eyes, though - yep, he's sure of that.
Jinyoung's not sure who manages to hold him upright when Kwanghee and Youngjae release him from their hold and go off to bother other unsuspecting underclassmen, but whoever it is, they're very loud. Like, louder than the synthetic pop blaring from the speakers in the living room. Jinyoung looks up and sees Jackson glaring down at him. That explains everything.
"I take my eyes away from you for half an hour," says Jackson, through gritted teeth. Jinyoung laughs and tries to make a bubble with his mouth.
"I love you!" Jinyoung half-yells. "I love everyone in this room!!!"
"Oh my god, I forgot you were a clingy drunk," says Jackson, hooking Jinyoung's arm under his shoulders and taking him to the nearest couch. "I'm killing Kwanghee. I told him to lock you in a damn room with JB-hyung, not get you plastered as shit. No one ever listens to my brilliant ideas."
"I love Jaebum more than I love you," Jinyoung feels the need to inform him, eyes unfocused and pondering the streak of beer he'd spilled on his arm. "Jaebum, not JB. Because. You know. I hate JB." He licks a stripe down the trail of beer, much to Jackson's disgust.
"You're not supposed to be this shit-faced," Jackson wails. "What are we gonna do with you now?"
"I was nervous, you know I keep drinking anything when I'm nervous," is what Jinyoung thinks to say, but he dry heaves on Jackson's back instead. Jackson lets out a terrifyingly manly shriek and holds him at arm's length.
"I hope you remember this when I cash in on future favors," says Jackson, shuddering. "Lots of favors."
The sofa in the living room is occupied by a couple of guys starting a makeshift game of Halo, and the nearest loveseat is host to an armful of sleepy drunks. Forget the kitchen - someone is already starting a game of body shots on the counter and strip poker on the table.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jinyoung vaguely registers seeing Bambam and Yugyeom, who promptly squeak and turn to hide in the opposite end of the house at Jackson's shooing motions, but that can't be right. Yugyeom's supposed to be studying and weeping over his future like the responsible brat he is, not cavorting around with inebriated uni students and chatting up noonas in the den. Whatever. He'll talk to him later, if he even remembers this.
"You saw nothing," Jackson hisses, covering his eyes. Jinyoung just grunts and peels his fingers off his eyeballs.
Jackson ends up half-dragging, half-carrying him past the hallway, up the stairs, and into the bathroom, where a disconcerted Jaebum bumps into them. Jinyoung's not proud of his strangled shriek, but it gives him at least five seconds of Jaebum looking like a hunted deer.
"It's hyung," Jinyoung trills, batting Jackson away and clutching at the front of Jaebum's shirt for dear life. "Hey hyuuung, I didn't mean to show everyone your nudes so don't call me a stalker, you just make it so easy --"
"What?" Jaebum says, eyes wide. Really, if he's gonna chew someone out, he shouldn't look like he's the aggressor here. It just makes Jinyoung feel less shitty about himself.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY," says Jackson, through gritted teeth. "Here's your present, go fix him."
"My birthday's in January, Jackson," says Jaebum, warily. "What the hell is wrong with Jinyoung?"
Jackson mulls over this, because honestly, it's a pretty loaded question. "I'm not sorry he's a chatty drunk, but you'll probably make more progress with him now than when he's back to his old, boring self."
Jaebum, to his credit, manages not to jump when Jinyoung noses along the nape of his neck, snuffling. "I bet," says Jaebum, and Jinyoung wrinkles his nose at how it makes his throat vibrate while Jinyoung's too busy trying to explore the comfiest place to tuck his cheek on. "He's gonna hate me even more tomorrow."
"Trust me," Jackson says, and Jinyoung's too placated to even care about anything beyond curling up against Jaebum and blocking anyone from entering the bathroom like an asshole, "hate isn't the word you're looking for."
Jaebum keeps Jinyoung tucked beside him as he waits for Jinyoung to sober up and for Jackson to come back with a fortifying pitcher of water, even if he looks like he'd rather be elsewhere. It's not an extremely sobering thought, but it's enough to make Jinyoung feel queasier than ever, partly from the drinks, but mostly from the tension. He doesn't make much effort to extract Jinyoung from his side even as Jinyoung starts to jab at his chest, only grunting with thinly-veiled annoyance once Jinyoung's devolved to outright pinching.
"What?" Jaebum huffs, catching him by the wrist.
"You were ignoring me." Jinyoung flexes his fingers and squints at the air. "Stop ignoring me. I don't like it when people do that."
Jaebum rolls his eyes but loosens his grip on Jinyoung's wrist. He lets Jinyoung's hand search for his, and only makes a disappointed sound when Jinyoung starts tracing patterns into his palm. He's shivering, Jinyoung notes, absently. It's probably from the cold. "In case you've forgotten, I'm not really too happy with you right now," Jaebum tells him, lips pursed.
"Invalid," Jinyoung yells. "Idols are supposed to suck it up and pretend to like people even when they're being annoying shits."
"Really? So you're admitting you're being an annoying shit?"
Jinyoung slumps against Jaebum further. "Yes," he says unhappily. Jaebum blinks at the easy answer.
"At least you're more honest when you're drunk."
"Of course I am," Jinyoung brags. He cups a palm around his mouth and leans closer, meaning to aim for Jaebum's ear but touching his cheek instead. "Wanna know a secret?"
"At the rate you're going? Not really."
Jinyoung tells him anyway. "You really sucked when you were still a pop star. Like, I could do so much better than you. Jackson could probably do better than you if he tried. You should have paid more attention to your vocal coaches, you know?" He gasps. "Is that why you didn't go into music?"
"Wow," says Jaebum, sounding faint and not at all impressed. "I have no words. You really don't learn, do you?"
"Not really," Jinyoung admits. "I'm not a fast learner."
It's quiet for a few seconds, and Jinyoung is close to nodding off, cheek resting on Jaebum's jaw, when Jaebum starts to speak again. "Is that what you really think about me?" He asks, face unreadable. "That I didn't deserve being in the spotlight for a bit?"
Polite Jinyoung would have said no. Passive aggressive Jinyoung would have gone for a backhanded compliment. Unfortunately, discretion is not the better part of valor for this Jinyoung, who just tilts his head at Jaebum like a confused cocker spaniel.
"Sometimes," says Jinyoung, bluntly. "But you're not too bad. I can tolerate you now at least."
"For a drunkard, you're way too eloquent," Jaebum mutters. He covers his face with his hands, briefly, and exhales. "I forgive you for being a little shit."
"Yeah, well, I forgive you for being yourself," Jinyoung announces.
"Where the hell is Jackson, seriously -"
"You and your -" Jinyoung hand waves Jaebum's spluttering away, still looking for words. Jinyoung is nothing if not eloquent even in a drunken near-stupor. "Your indiscretions and your undeserved popularity and your - your -" He grabs at Jaebum's shoulders. "Your face."
Jaebum sighs and shuts his eyes. Jinyoung reaches up to force his eyelids open, and Jaebum must have attained zen in between his stint as a celebrity and now, because he doesn't do more than make an unhappy sound. "I'm really getting tired of being judged for the way I look, especially by the people I like the most." He says, tiredly, then attempts a small smile, absent of amusement. "Do you like me, Jinyoung-ah?"
"No," says Jinyoung churlishly, even if he can't quite follow the gravity of Jaebum's question. "I don't know. Maybe."
"It's either a yes or a no, Jinyoung."
"You're not supposed to be nice. And soft. And good at cuddling. I like cuddling," Jinyoung babbles. "Why are you so nice?"
"I don't know either. Or maybe I have to balance you out."
"I take it back," Jinyoung gasps. "You're a jerk. Stop making me confused."
"I'm a simple guy," Jaebum protests. "You're the only one making things more complicated than they are."
Funny. He's heard this same line somewhere. He doesn't remember. It's irritating when he can't. He changes the subject.
"Right now I hate your face even if I want to lick you sometimes," says Jinyoung, apropos of nothing.
Jaebum lets out a shocked spiel of laughter, any residual bit of frustration disappearing at Jinyoung's words and his wide eyes. "You're really cute, even if you're kind of crazy sometimes."
He fusses at Jaebum's bangs, already distracted by a few strands sticking up. Jaebum is quiet again, but the atmosphere this time is even tenser, if not heavy. Jinyoung really hates awkward silences with other people. At least when he's alone, he can curl up into bed and distract himself with reading or sleeping, ignoring anything and everything outside his room. If he can't stop thinking about how Jaebum is mad at him, maybe everything will be okay. Or he could just force his way into his good graces. Anything sounds like a good idea to him right about now.
"Are we good now?" Jinyoung demands. Jaebum grimaces, but he rubs at Jinyoung's cheek, wiping at the sweat.
"Yeah," says Jaebum softly, leaning closer until Jinyoung can feel the ghost of his lips on his jaw, and Jinyoung beams even if Jaebum is a pretty shitty liar. "We're okay."
"Oh shit," Jackson says, nearly coming to his feet in excitement when Jinyoung slinks into his seat five minutes late, snapback pulled down and sunglasses pilfered from Jaebum's dresser perched lopsidedly on his nose. "Did you do the walk of shame?"
"What walk of shame?" Jinyoung groans. Maybe if he tries his best, the armchair would swallow him up to save him from the professor's glare. His migraine is getting increasingly annoying, even without Jackson to facilitate it.
"I know you came from Jaebum-hyung's flat," says Jackson, stabbing his side with a pencil. "Don't even bother denying it, you're still wearing your clothes from yesterday, you lazy shit. Why isn't he in class?"
"He's asleep." Jinyoung cringes at Jackson's simultaneously scandalized and gratified expression. "What."
"Totally a walk of shame," whispers Jackson, voice proud.
"Not a walk of shame if sex never happened," Jinyoung hisses back.
Someone switches off the lights at the front as a few of their classmates set up the projector. Even in the dim lighting, though, Jinyoung can make out Jackson's face. Jinyoung's so glad he can contribute to Jackson's daily dose of entertainment, the little shit. "Did you want it to happen? Was making out not enough for you, you tramp?"
"Augh, shut up, I'm not awake enough for this." Jackson continues to consider him dubiously, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes and elbows him. "Which reminds me, fuck you for dumping me on his lap."
"You were so out of it," says Jackson, chortling. "You were practically spooning the guy when I got back."
"I what?"
"I posted it on Facebook like a good friend," says Jackson solemnly, with a hand over his heart. The innocent look he gives Jinyoung isn't fooling anyone. "Thank me later."
Jinyoung doesn't bother to answer that, too busy checking his phone and simultaneously trying to kick him out of his seat. "Oh my god," says Jinyoung, horrified. "Please tell me those are not pictures of me cuddling with Im Jaebum."
"I should hope not," Kwon-seonsaengnim calls out from the front of the room. "Now if you have something better to do than listen to the reporters for the day, maybe you'd like to share the sordid details of your night out?" The professor smiles at him, flashing teeth and promising embarrassment and mortification. "In great detail please."
Jinyoung stutters out an apology, glaring at his seatmate. Jackson, the traitor, is bent over his desk, pretending to take notes. The mess of doodles all over his pad paper is his only contribution to the course so far, so he's not fooling anyone. Not for the first time, Jinyoung envies Jackson's ability to coast along most of his classes with an easy smile, and it's with unrepentant equanimity that Jackson tugs him into a conspiratorial huddle after class, snapback digging into Jinyoung's forehead when he leans closer.
"It's cute that you guys kissed and made up," Jackson gushes with fake sweetness. "It was so nauseating I wanted to throw some water in your face."
"You abandoned me, you dick," Jinyoung groans. "Oh god, did I say something stupid yesterday? Because I'm pretty sure I did. I didn't, like, proposition anyone or something, right?" He fusses at his bangs nervously. "Right?"
They both take a moment of solidarity to shudder - the first time Jinyoung had gone to a party with Jackson, the two of them had spent a couple of days tiptoeing around each other from an awkward series of body shots that no one, not even Mark, lets them live down. It was the last barrier to a friendship Jinyoung regrets 90% of the time, like, say, now.
"I can't really say," says Jackson, seriously, "but given how you plastered yourself to hyung, I bet you did."
Jinyoung just feels drained, and the slump in his shoulders doesn't disappear even as they make their way to lunch. "I don't know why I was expecting comfort from you, ever."
"It's okay," Jackson coos, "if hyung still hated you after all that, he wouldn't have dragged your scrawny ass all the way to his flat, right?"
"He was being considerate."
"First you never wanted to hear anything good about the guy, and now you're defending him after you realized how badly you wanted to get into his pants?" Jackson scoffs. "Let me tell you, that guy is nice as far as celebrities go, but he would have ditched you without a second thought if he didn't like you so much."
Jackson pauses, scrunching his face up as he eyes Jinyoung up and down, from his unkempt hair to his creased shirt. Jinyoung scowls and punches him on the shoulder for good measure, Jackson's assessing look rousing his self-consciousness. Jackson groans in pain. "Though, okay, knowing how much of a mess you are in the morning, it might be better that you ran out when you did."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Jinyoung mutters, shaking the pain off his knuckles. Jackson's shoulders are a menace, it's almost at par with his thick skull.
"I'm not here to call you pretty all the time," says Jackson. "I'm not a good enough liar for that."
Jinyoung winces at the first sign of sunlight even with sunglasses on. Mostly it's Jackson that's giving him a headache. "I'm not awake enough for this."
"The sooner that you accept this and go off to make your grand confession, the easier we'll be able to breathe," Jackson tells him, hitting his arm back like the sneaky, underhanded bastard he is. Jinyoung almost trips on the stairs, too wobbly and tired to deal with Jackson. "Or not, considering how you basically ran for your life after hyung took care of you the entire night."
"Who even schedules parties in the middle of the week?"
"Who even goes to them?" Jackson pauses mid-step, realizing his mistake. "Never mind. Stop changing the subject, don't think I don't notice your useless attempts at not talking about your feelings."
They're still squabbling by the time they make it to the Music building's café, and Youngjae stops mid-conversation with Mark when Jinyoung puts his bag down to glower dolefully at them.
"Please tell me we're not discussing Jinyoung-hyung's love life," Youngjae implores. "I'll never be able to look at Jaebum-hyung the same way again if we continue doing this."
"Who said anything about him?" Jinyoung protests, face heating up quickly at Mark's bent form, shaking from laughter.
"No one has to, hyung," Youngjae sighs, looking into his coffee like it has answers to deep and profound questions about life that no one in the room can give him. Forget Jaebum being an actor-dol, Youngjae should look into it instead. "In case you haven't noticed, majority of our conversations always goes back to Jaebum-hyung one way or another.
"I hate his guts," Jackson mimics. He's not a very good actor in contrast. "He gives me complicated feelings."
Mark, to Jinyoung's immense gratitude, shoves Jackson roughly. "Nice pictures, by the way," he comments, flashing the screen of his phone. "Didn't think you'd get so up close and personal so fast, but I always had faith in you, man."
He takes it back. All of them are assholes.
"Did you sleep in the same bed?" Jackson demands. "Is that why you're so shifty? Were you both naked?"
"No one is doing anything without anyone's consent," Jinyoung says, very loudly, if only to stall Jackson's further hysteria. "Especially me."
Jackson crosses his arms over his chest. "You're so defensive, it only makes us wonder even more."
Jinyoung's been spending far too much time with his face mushed against solid objects. Youngjae keeps staring into his coffee. It's not helping him at all. Mark is just treating them as background noise, content on polishing off his bowl of noodles. "I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."
"But you give us the best reactions, Jinyounggie, what are we supposed to do in our spare time?"
"I can think of a lot of things, like, not harassing me about my non-existent sex life with Im Jaebum."
"First of all, stop calling him by his full name. It's gonna be so weird when Jaebum-hyung has a hand on your cock and I'm really invested in you not embarrassing yourself in bed."
"Oh god," Youngjae shrinks into himself further. Jinyoung understands his pain all too well.
"And anyway, fantasies are healthy for growing boys," says Jackson, almost sounding bored. "Like, I'm sexually attracted to you sometimes but that doesn't mean I have to act on it." Everyone stares at Jackson for that. "What, it was just an example!"
"You what," Jinyoung chokes out, still caught somewhere in between the words Jaebum and cock and really, Jackson??? He's in some kind of fucked up alternate dimension. He's sure of it.
"Not helpful, hyung," says Youngjae, vaguely looking traumatized. All that's left of his coffee is sludge, the dredges as murky as Jackson's heart, no doubt. "No one wants to hear about these things. Like, I know Mark-hyung indulges you and Jinyoung-hyung's merry band of brats think everything is hilarious, but I, for one, would really like to go through this without dry heaving into my food."
"Oh my god," Jinyoung whimpers.
"Focus, Jinyoung," says Jackson, snapping his fingers. "Stop thinking with your dick."
"I can't," says Jinyoung, dismayed. "I can't stop thinking about your dick now that you've brought it up. You disgust me. Who's going to pay for my therapy now?"
"That's not really the issue, though, isn't it?" Jackson says loudly over Youngjae and Jinyoung's combined despair. "You wouldn't feel this uncomfortable thinking about Jaebum-hyung's dick, would you?"
Jinyoung opens his mouth. Closes it. Then he closes his eyes instead.
"I hope you realize that I can never show my face to Im Jaebum again," says Jinyoung, sounding as dead as he feels.
"Me too, hyung," Youngjae chimes in, matching his unhappy slouch as Jackson cackles. "Me too."
one | two | part three | four | five | six
The worst part about letting his guard down around Jaebum is that Jaebum seems to take the smallest sign of Jinyoung surrendering to Jackson's EVERYONE SHOULD BE FRIENDS BECAUSE I SAID SO spiel as genuine interest. Jinyoung doesn't have the heart to tell Jaebum that he's only putting up with him because he'd rather not have Jackson breathing over his neck for taking away his shot at breaking into the Korean entertainment industry the rest of his life. Jinyoung is a realist through and through.
"He honestly thinks we're friends," Jinyoung complains to Yugyeom. "He tells me all the things he does every day and it's so annoying because I could care less about whatever insane project his professors assign him or which unfortunate soul he and his friends are dicking around with now, I really give zero fuck."
"Sounds like your friendship with Jackson-hyung to me," says Yugyeom, blandly. Jinyoung has to gag, even if the loose, casual way Jaebum talks to him now makes his chest feel a little light. It's a stark contrast to Jaebum's tight-fisted attitude towards talking about himself initially, but the speed at which he's actively volunteering information about himself would make Jinyoung concerned about Jaebum's willingness to trust relative strangers with stories of his private life. He could be selling blind items about Jaebum's obsession with his cat, never mind that Jinyoung's heart tends to go into overdrive every time Jaebum shows him pictures of a sleeping Norah curled up against Jaebum's side on his phone.
He blames it on the insane amount of caffeine he's been ingesting. These heart palpitations have got to stop right now.
It's not necessarily bad, though. Jaebum spends more time in the library than ever, but they don't really talk, already falling into that sphere of comfort where they don't need to do more than nod and greet each other, if only Jinyoung's stomach didn't stop churning. This, he blames on indigestion. The feeling of weightlessness he attributes to a skipped meal. (Jinyoung is very good at justifying things for himself.)
If he's being really honest, the utter disdain and loathing has subsided into a low hum of occasional exasperation. Jinyoung still puts in the token effort of displaying his discontent, but Jaebum is - and Jinyoung can't believe he's saying this after all the hours he's spent bitching at Yugyeom - actually a humble person underneath all the pretenses of swagger for the public. It's difficult to continue to rail about injustice when Jinyoung can see that Jaebum deserves it if the hours he puts in his work and the somber hunch of his back can attest to it. He'd expected Jaebum to spend all his time in the library goofing off and flirting with anything and anyone with a pair of legs, and it makes Jinyoung feel antsy all over when he's proven wrong about that.
So the pop star actually has a brain, he thinks, rolling his eyes, and immediately feels guilty after, because he knows that Jaebum is far from stupid. It's just so easy to write him off as a dumb celebrity riding the coat-tails of his agency's success to win at life.
Jaebum's confessed off-hand that he sometimes thinks about going back to the life of an idol full time, especially when he's so frustrated at seemingly unsolvable problem sets and multiple drafts and revisions that don't please his professors. Jinyoung had been shocked when Jaebum had brought it up in the middle of one of their detours to the vending machine, but all he could do was frown at the can of strawberry milk Jaebum had gotten for him.
What do you say to a guy that buys you a drink in the middle of a hot afternoon? He had to choke down the bitter "you're rich enough anyway" because Jinyoung's not an ingrate on purpose. Instead, he'd put his foot in his mouth (way to go, Jinyoung) and stuttered out, "You're too hot to die in a freak accident at a laboratory, you should think about it."
"Okay," Jaebum had said, hiding a smile behind a sip of his own soya milk. "Maybe I'll start with a few commercials in my free time."
Jinyoung's life, it's so surreal. Who even gives out advice to former teen idols anyway? Apparently Jinyoung, that's who. "Yeah, you do that."
More than the initial feelings of shame at his own uncharitable thoughts ("Yes Yugyeom," he spits out, "I have a conscience."), it's not just the coincidental meetings and the frequent time spent around each other that make Jinyoung think that Jaebum's not so bad. A guilt-ridden and shamelessly self-serving part of Jinyoung also finds that Jaebum takes good notes. Really good notes. Much better notes than the illegible scrawl Jackson has, and they're organized by category into separate colors and fuck, Jinyoung would be in love if it didn't kill him to even ask for Jaebum's help, or even his time.
And Jaebum - he gives it without Jinyoung having to ask anyway, in the same way that he feeds him muffins and plies him with coffee, acting like the perfect boyf-- bro that his friends aren't. They get marginally close enough for Jinyoung to grudgingly admit that, yeah, this is nice, they're not just one-sided friends anymore, maybe, and some time in between the fifth time Jaebum ropes him into breakfast and the nth one that they walk to the library together, Jinyoung forgets himself and accidentally calls Jaebum "hyung" in front of Jackson.
Jackson almost looks like he's having a heart attack or passing out while choking on his burger, which is just -- whatever. Jackson is so dramatic.
Hyung? REALLY? Jackson texts. Jinyoung doesn't reply because Jackson doesn't deserve to eat up his phone credits more than he already does, never mind that his data plan has unlimited messaging services.
Ten minutes of his phone going off and Yugyeom kicking him out of his room for being too noisy, Jinyoung gives in.
"When are you going to tell me you're dating my man JB?" Jackson demands.
"He's not your man," Jinyoung sighs, already regretting picking up. He's determined to keep this as long and drawn-out as possible so he could drain Jackson's money in revenge. "And you call him hyung too!"
"Yeah, but I don't catalogue the many hairstyles he's had in the past," Jackson snorts. "Nor do I keep finding excuses to fall into his lap."
"There was a bee flying around--"
"Out of all that bullshit, not once did I hear a denial about you dating him," says Jackson. "So when's your next study date? Can I crash and bring popcorn with me?"
"It's not a date," Jinyoung hedges. "And you know food isn't allowed inside."
"Say that again when you stop smuggling rice crackers inside. Speaking of which, did hyung give you that really nice box of biscuits he got from work?"
"No," Jinyoung lies, nudging the tin container aside. His stomach is acting up again. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Liar, I can smell your chocolate-dipped shame from here," Jackson scoffs. "You still haven't answered my first question."
"I don't know," Jinyoung grumbles. "We just keep bumping into each other."
"How are you so stupid?" Jackson fake-sobs into his phone.
Jinyoung hangs up.
Their first big argument happens sooner than he thinks.
He's kind of stopped thinking about any potential crime scenes involving him and Jaebum since they'd settled into their… thing that he's overestimated the extent of Jaebum's patience and his willingness to deal with other people's crap. Jinyoung knows he's a difficult person on occasion, and having Jackson around is like asking an arsonist not to set something on fire. It just doesn't happen.
Really, it's bound to happen one way or another.
Jackson and Jaebum are hanging around near Jinyoung's counter at the library - well, Jackson is, scooting his chair close enough to bother Jinyoung and indulge in gossip with Jimin at the same time. Jaebum is trying to work from the table a few feet away, close enough to hear everything. It's a slow enough shift that Jinyoung is actually entertaining Jackson's attempts at distracting him from his job, so it takes a while before Jinyoung actually notices the girl waiting by the counter.
"Hi," she says, shyly holding up a book. Jinyoung's eye twitches at the cover. "Can I borrow this?"
"Sure," says Jinyoung, beaming even as he dies inside at the student's literary choices. He glances at her ID. Go figure.
Jackson is hiding his head behind his hands, shaking with visible laughter. He manages to hold it in until the girl is distant enough to not hear them at all, and whacks him on the side with a rolled up newspaper.
"Oooh," Jackson breathes, eyes flitting back and forth from Jinyoung to the other student. He laughs at Jinyoung's defiant sniff. "Your judge-y face is on point today."
"What are you talking about?" Jaebum asks. He's come up to them since Jackson had started imitating a dying animal with the way he'd had to hide his sniggering. "Jinyoung's not that bad."
"Are you kidding me?" Jackson breaks out into a peal of laughter, much harder than before. Several students a few feet away glare at him. "Jinyoung's the most judgmental person in the world. Queen bitch material, this dude."
"He looks pretty harmless to me," says Jaebum. He looks a bit uncomfortable, but Jinyoung is too busy trying to suffocate Jackson with his jacket in an effort to shut him up to even notice.
"Harmless?" Jinyoung squawks. "I'm not harmless."
Jackson mutters something like "love is blind" under his breath, but Jinyoung thinks he's probably hearing things again. "Jinyoung has this really weird habit at work," says Jackson, once he's fended off Jinyoung. "Like, all the people that approach him at the counter? He's been judging them based on the books they checked out and filtering their literary tastes by faculty since last semester."
Jackson's laughter tapers off once he realizes that Jaebum isn't joining in. Jaebum's eyes are wide and he's biting his lip, looking askance. Jinyoung's skin prickles with discomfort at his inspection. "Uhhh, are you okay, man?"
"That's very… detailed," says Jaebum, slowly. He sounds a little more than upset. "And kind of mean-spirited, I guess?"
Jinyoung and Jackson gape at him, more out of mortification on Jinyoung's part. Like Jaebum even has any room to talk. Jinyoung's not the one with a string of scandals in tabloids to his name.
"I'm a pretty good judge of character," says Jinyoung defensively. "It's been a reliable yard stick by far."
It's not the smartest comeback in the world, and judging by how Jaebum's cheeks are red, it's also the wrong thing to say.
"Really?" Jaebum snorts, skeptical. From the way his eyes seem to go dull, he looks wrung out and inappeasable. He's toying with a paper clip and picking it apart until it's just one straight line. "By basing it off of their books?"
"Well this is awkward," Jimin mutters, to the side. Jackson pushes his chair back and stares at them with wide eyes.
Jinyoung takes a deep breath. Counts to three in his head, backwards, before he opens his mouth. "Books are a reflection of -"
"Bullshit," says Jaebum, without a hint of a smile. He props his arm against the counter and meets his gaze head on. "That girl that just checked out the Shopaholic series is an aeronautics major on the Dean's list since her freshman year. Tell me you didn't side eye her just for that."
Jinyoung can't speak, too humiliated to do more than glare at Jaebum. Jackson, the coward, holds up his hands in surrender and takes it as his cue to slink away, seeking salvation in Jimin's area. Jinyoung grabs a stapler and busies himself with paperwork that could actually wait until tomorrow, but fuck it, Jaebum doesn't need to know that.
"Did you need anything else?" Jinyoung demands, when Jaebum keeps leaning against the counter and eyeing him with something akin to disappointment. He swallows. "Other than to crush my pride, that is."
"Wow, you really don't take criticism well, do you?" says Jaebum. He keeps his lips pursed and his chin perched on his palm. "You're so hard to read sometimes that you always surprise me."
Jaebum reaches out to take the piece of office equipment in Jinyoung's hands, but all he manages to do is touch the inside of Jinyoung's wrist. Jinyoung yanks the stapler out of his grasp. "More than you did on Star Golden Bell when you just debuted and had a mini-tantrum off air," Jinyoung retorts.
"Huh," says Jaebum, warily. He drops his hand to his side. "I didn't know I had an inquisition in my hands. How do you even remember that?"
Jinyoung sniffs, and looks away.
Jaebum taps the side of the desk, drumming to an imaginary beat to his head. He does this a lot when he's distracted, when he's really thinking about what to say to Jinyoung, but never like this. "I'll admit I didn't exactly have the best reactions when I was younger," says Jaebum. "I won't make excuses for it, but I hope you don't make excuses for yourself either."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I think you've been judging people your entire life and it's not really a nice way to look at the world, isn't it?" Jaebum says off-handedly, like he's just commenting on the weather and not decimating Jinyoung's life choices with a single blow. "Jackson told me about that audition thing, by the way. And about how you have, like, ten copies of my sordid past."
"Oh my god," says Jinyoung. The stapler falls from his hands and hits the floor. Someone -- Jackson, most likely, or Jinyoung himself - makes choking noises. Jinyoung wonders if it's too late to hide under the table and pray Jaebum doesn't talk to him ever again.
"I don't know if I should call you immature or a stalker," says Jaebum, but he doesn't sound mad about it. Just amused and defeated, "but I'll make sure to laugh at you about it in the future."
"-- and then he had the gall to walk away, like some person from a bad web drama pretending to be cool," Jinyoung seethes, hitting the volleyball with as much force as he can. Mark's been tossing balls to him since he'd demanded it after his shift, and it had been the combination of physical activity and Jinyoung that had made Mark look more awake and concerned than ever. Jinyoung knows Mark has class right now, so he's grateful that he's skipping it like a good friend. Or an irresponsible student. Jinyoung never knows with Mark. "Who does that in real life anyway?"
"Jackson does," Mark says, not even flinching when the ball flies past him. He picks up another one at his feet and tosses it to himself a few times, like he doesn't trust Jinyoung not to smack it to his face. "He's pretty dramatic that way, in case you forgot."
"Jackson doesn't count," says Jinyoung. "Jackson never counts." He glowers at the ball in Mark's hands. "Which reminds me, if you see Jackson, send him my way so I can kick his ass."
"You're wearing your homicidal face. Please don't contemplate murder," says Mark, deadpan. "You have to think about your future, Jinyoung."
Jinyoung wrestles the ball out of Mark's grip and heads over to the nearest wall, which might be more responsive than his current partner. "I don't trust myself to not hit him if he breathes."
Mark lets him take out his frustrations for a few rounds, going back to the bench to grab a couple of water bottles. He throws one to Jinyoung, who catches it with some difficulty.
"Look," Mark begins, tentatively. "It's not like the guy doesn't have a point. You know this."
"I resent that you've taken his side," Jinyoung says, grumpily taking a swig from his drink. "And he's just a hypocrite attacking other people when he has his own image to worry about."
"I call bullshit."
"Tough, but that's all you're getting out of me."
"You're being irrational. Stop being irrational, how are we supposed to function without a sane person?"
"First of all, we really have to stop letting Jackson talk us into things-"
"Never mind," says Mark. Mark is unhelpful about giving advice, as always, and very prone to being biased. This is why Jackson gets away with so much shit. "Don't deflect. Why don't you just accept that Jaebum is right and give him a chance?" Mark sighs. "I know you're competitive, but that audition thing was years ago, wasn’t it?"
"I've been giving him a chance since I shut up about how infuriating he was," Jinyoung points out.
"You just stopped venting," says Mark. "Doesn't mean that you actually stopped holding a grudge."
Talking to Mark is tiring, because while Mark doesn't really like to involve himself in conversations too much, when he does, he doesn't meander with his words. He's a little like Jaebum that way, too direct, even tactless, and it just stings. Suddenly, Jinyoung doesn't feel so thirsty anymore.
"Whatever," Jinyoung pouts, capping and tossing his water bottle to the side. "He's just a kid."
"That kid might wind up being the future president of South Korea, and then what are you gonna do when he has the secret service hunt you down?"
"Nah, he's gonna be a chaebol," Jinyoung says, crossing his arms. He's panting by now, breathless and out of shape. It's already hot out, and thinking about Jaebum isn't helping. "That's what always happens to these engineering kids."
"It's more likely that he'll be an expat, but whatever," says Mark. "Are you gonna rail at his hypothetical future of making a career in a multinational company that sucks the lifeblood of the environment, or are you gonna exaggerate more of his flaws?"
Jinyoung gapes. "No," he lies. "I would never."
"I don't think you're mad about Jaebum being himself," says Mark honestly. "I think you're angry he called you out, and that he's right." His unsmiling face breaks in a second, impish. "Also, don't think I don't know that you called him hot to his face."
Fuck. Mark's right. Jinyoung is a sad, sad boy nursing a hopeless and superficial crush on a pop star, and now he's moping for getting on his bad side. What is his life.
Jinyoung brings his knees up and bends forward to press his face against his thighs, sweat and grime sticking to his skin. It feels as disgusting as his soul. "He said in the future, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Mark's most likely trying to go for consoling, but he's sounding increasingly patronizing in the darkness of Jinyoung's misery. "It's a good thing, see? It's not like he's going to quit talking to you forever just because you showed him a side you don't want other people to know about." He pauses. "Or, at least, a side Jackson exposed, but let's not get into that."
"When did this happen? When did I stop thinking he was irritating as hell?" Jinyoung wails. "When did I even care about what he thinks of me?"
He can't see Mark, not even when he collapses on his side and curls up in a fetal position. He can hear Mark shuffling forward, and he's either hovering or kneeling over him, blocking the sun from his eyes. "You are easy to bribe with food."
Mark seems to take his prone form as a sign of surrender, not as a signal of distress. The future looks grim and bleak. Jinyoung reevaluates the feasibility of his initial plans of monkhood. Surely he still has time.
"This is like Jackson all over again," Jinyoung despairs. "I knew I should have shut him down forever. Nothing Jackson does is beneficial to me."
Mark laughs and ruffles his hair. "Just go with it, Jinyounggie," he says. "I trust your life choices."
"What if I don't trust myself?" Jinyoung asks, sounding small.
"Then don't do anything." Mark shrugs and comes to a stand. Jinyoung peeks at him and watches Mark pick up the nearest ball and tuck it under his arm. "No point in making things so complicated for yourself."
"I'm a hormonal young adult," Jinyoung drones on. "It's part of my job description to be complicated."
"If you say so," says Mark, rubbing his arms. "Just. Please don't kill Jackson yet. I think I might miss him a little bit if you do."
"I'll do my best," says Jinyoung, grimly, "but it might be a good idea to give me a wide berth until I stop feeling the need to punch something or someone."
"I'll make sure to tell Jackson to stay far away," promises Mark.
Not far away enough, because Jackson is back to bothering him not a few days later.
"So the bad news is, hyung's still a little upset with you," Jackson says by way of greeting. He looks at Jinyoung warily before testing the waters by nudging his hip. Jinyoung chokes on his milk tea.
"Leave me alone," Jinyoung intones, once he's recovered from near-death by boba.
"Nope," Jackson pipes up. "You're kinda dangerous when left alone. Yugyeom's ordered a neighborhood watch on you, and you know he has our balls in a vice grip."
Jinyoung shrugs off the arm Jackson's slung around his shoulder, but Jackson is nothing if not stubborn and a whore for skinship. "Yugyeom can mind his own business."
"The good news is, I'm pretty sure he's accepted the fact that you're not as nice as he thinks you are," Jackson continues, ignoring him. "Which, by the way, is a lapse of judgment on his part."
"I'm so glad you're so invested in upholding my image," says Jinyoung, wiping at a sticky trail of cha. Jackson has the gall to wrinkle his nose at that.
"Hey, I'm not the one having a self-inflicted competition over pretending to be indifferent about what a hot guy thinks about me."
"Are you sure you're up for talking about that?" Jinyoung bites out. "Are you, hypocrite?"
Jackson shakes his head and steals his milk tea in revenge. "I'm running interference for you and this is the thanks I get?" He takes an obnoxiously loud slurp out of the straw, to Jinyoung's horror. He hopes a bubble gets stuck in his air pipe. "Mmm, get wintermelon next time."
"You wouldn't even be doing this if you hadn't opened your mouth," he grouses. "And buy your own food, you leech."
"I can't help it if you two are blind in completely different but similarly annoying ways," Jackson grumbles dramatically. "You're just mad you lost your personified wallet. You haven't spent a single won on drinks since hyung started looking at you with disgusting stars in his eyes."
Jackson finishes the rest of the tea with as much noise as he can and tosses the cup into a nearby trash bin. He misses, predictably, and shrugs, leaving Jinyoung to pick it up when a passing professor gives them a dirty look.
"What stars? You're delusional," Jinyoung shouts after him, shaking a fist.
"He's gonna be at Youngjae's frat party tomorrow," says Jackson. "The one from BA, not our Youngjae. You should come."
Jackson knows Jinyoung hates frat parties. They're always packed with sweaty, intolerable people that insist on body shots and beer pong, so Jinyoung's not too sure what the appeal in it is outside of humiliating himself further in front of Im Jaebum.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"For a smart person, you're really dumb," Jackson sighs. Jinyoung shoves at his arm.
"I have a 3.7 average, you're not fooling me, Mr. B+ but nearly failing --"
"Dumb and boring," Jackson sing-songs. "You're never gonna show up."
Jinyoung is a very easy person to goad, and from the smirk on Jackson's face, he knows it. He's also prone to taking any and all opportunities to prove Jackson wrong, and is unfortunately weak to social pressure of the vocal kind. A regrettable tragic flaw, he thinks later, as Yoo Youngjae and Hwang Kwanghee gang up on him and continue to refill his overflowing drink in hand. Judging from the alcohol content of the supposed keg, he's not even sure if he's going to be able to see Jaebum tonight without passing out.
From the way Kwanghee and Youngjae seem to be multiplying exponentially in his eyes, though - yep, he's sure of that.
Jinyoung's not sure who manages to hold him upright when Kwanghee and Youngjae release him from their hold and go off to bother other unsuspecting underclassmen, but whoever it is, they're very loud. Like, louder than the synthetic pop blaring from the speakers in the living room. Jinyoung looks up and sees Jackson glaring down at him. That explains everything.
"I take my eyes away from you for half an hour," says Jackson, through gritted teeth. Jinyoung laughs and tries to make a bubble with his mouth.
"I love you!" Jinyoung half-yells. "I love everyone in this room!!!"
"Oh my god, I forgot you were a clingy drunk," says Jackson, hooking Jinyoung's arm under his shoulders and taking him to the nearest couch. "I'm killing Kwanghee. I told him to lock you in a damn room with JB-hyung, not get you plastered as shit. No one ever listens to my brilliant ideas."
"I love Jaebum more than I love you," Jinyoung feels the need to inform him, eyes unfocused and pondering the streak of beer he'd spilled on his arm. "Jaebum, not JB. Because. You know. I hate JB." He licks a stripe down the trail of beer, much to Jackson's disgust.
"You're not supposed to be this shit-faced," Jackson wails. "What are we gonna do with you now?"
"I was nervous, you know I keep drinking anything when I'm nervous," is what Jinyoung thinks to say, but he dry heaves on Jackson's back instead. Jackson lets out a terrifyingly manly shriek and holds him at arm's length.
"I hope you remember this when I cash in on future favors," says Jackson, shuddering. "Lots of favors."
The sofa in the living room is occupied by a couple of guys starting a makeshift game of Halo, and the nearest loveseat is host to an armful of sleepy drunks. Forget the kitchen - someone is already starting a game of body shots on the counter and strip poker on the table.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jinyoung vaguely registers seeing Bambam and Yugyeom, who promptly squeak and turn to hide in the opposite end of the house at Jackson's shooing motions, but that can't be right. Yugyeom's supposed to be studying and weeping over his future like the responsible brat he is, not cavorting around with inebriated uni students and chatting up noonas in the den. Whatever. He'll talk to him later, if he even remembers this.
"You saw nothing," Jackson hisses, covering his eyes. Jinyoung just grunts and peels his fingers off his eyeballs.
Jackson ends up half-dragging, half-carrying him past the hallway, up the stairs, and into the bathroom, where a disconcerted Jaebum bumps into them. Jinyoung's not proud of his strangled shriek, but it gives him at least five seconds of Jaebum looking like a hunted deer.
"It's hyung," Jinyoung trills, batting Jackson away and clutching at the front of Jaebum's shirt for dear life. "Hey hyuuung, I didn't mean to show everyone your nudes so don't call me a stalker, you just make it so easy --"
"What?" Jaebum says, eyes wide. Really, if he's gonna chew someone out, he shouldn't look like he's the aggressor here. It just makes Jinyoung feel less shitty about himself.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY," says Jackson, through gritted teeth. "Here's your present, go fix him."
"My birthday's in January, Jackson," says Jaebum, warily. "What the hell is wrong with Jinyoung?"
Jackson mulls over this, because honestly, it's a pretty loaded question. "I'm not sorry he's a chatty drunk, but you'll probably make more progress with him now than when he's back to his old, boring self."
Jaebum, to his credit, manages not to jump when Jinyoung noses along the nape of his neck, snuffling. "I bet," says Jaebum, and Jinyoung wrinkles his nose at how it makes his throat vibrate while Jinyoung's too busy trying to explore the comfiest place to tuck his cheek on. "He's gonna hate me even more tomorrow."
"Trust me," Jackson says, and Jinyoung's too placated to even care about anything beyond curling up against Jaebum and blocking anyone from entering the bathroom like an asshole, "hate isn't the word you're looking for."
Jaebum keeps Jinyoung tucked beside him as he waits for Jinyoung to sober up and for Jackson to come back with a fortifying pitcher of water, even if he looks like he'd rather be elsewhere. It's not an extremely sobering thought, but it's enough to make Jinyoung feel queasier than ever, partly from the drinks, but mostly from the tension. He doesn't make much effort to extract Jinyoung from his side even as Jinyoung starts to jab at his chest, only grunting with thinly-veiled annoyance once Jinyoung's devolved to outright pinching.
"What?" Jaebum huffs, catching him by the wrist.
"You were ignoring me." Jinyoung flexes his fingers and squints at the air. "Stop ignoring me. I don't like it when people do that."
Jaebum rolls his eyes but loosens his grip on Jinyoung's wrist. He lets Jinyoung's hand search for his, and only makes a disappointed sound when Jinyoung starts tracing patterns into his palm. He's shivering, Jinyoung notes, absently. It's probably from the cold. "In case you've forgotten, I'm not really too happy with you right now," Jaebum tells him, lips pursed.
"Invalid," Jinyoung yells. "Idols are supposed to suck it up and pretend to like people even when they're being annoying shits."
"Really? So you're admitting you're being an annoying shit?"
Jinyoung slumps against Jaebum further. "Yes," he says unhappily. Jaebum blinks at the easy answer.
"At least you're more honest when you're drunk."
"Of course I am," Jinyoung brags. He cups a palm around his mouth and leans closer, meaning to aim for Jaebum's ear but touching his cheek instead. "Wanna know a secret?"
"At the rate you're going? Not really."
Jinyoung tells him anyway. "You really sucked when you were still a pop star. Like, I could do so much better than you. Jackson could probably do better than you if he tried. You should have paid more attention to your vocal coaches, you know?" He gasps. "Is that why you didn't go into music?"
"Wow," says Jaebum, sounding faint and not at all impressed. "I have no words. You really don't learn, do you?"
"Not really," Jinyoung admits. "I'm not a fast learner."
It's quiet for a few seconds, and Jinyoung is close to nodding off, cheek resting on Jaebum's jaw, when Jaebum starts to speak again. "Is that what you really think about me?" He asks, face unreadable. "That I didn't deserve being in the spotlight for a bit?"
Polite Jinyoung would have said no. Passive aggressive Jinyoung would have gone for a backhanded compliment. Unfortunately, discretion is not the better part of valor for this Jinyoung, who just tilts his head at Jaebum like a confused cocker spaniel.
"Sometimes," says Jinyoung, bluntly. "But you're not too bad. I can tolerate you now at least."
"For a drunkard, you're way too eloquent," Jaebum mutters. He covers his face with his hands, briefly, and exhales. "I forgive you for being a little shit."
"Yeah, well, I forgive you for being yourself," Jinyoung announces.
"Where the hell is Jackson, seriously -"
"You and your -" Jinyoung hand waves Jaebum's spluttering away, still looking for words. Jinyoung is nothing if not eloquent even in a drunken near-stupor. "Your indiscretions and your undeserved popularity and your - your -" He grabs at Jaebum's shoulders. "Your face."
Jaebum sighs and shuts his eyes. Jinyoung reaches up to force his eyelids open, and Jaebum must have attained zen in between his stint as a celebrity and now, because he doesn't do more than make an unhappy sound. "I'm really getting tired of being judged for the way I look, especially by the people I like the most." He says, tiredly, then attempts a small smile, absent of amusement. "Do you like me, Jinyoung-ah?"
"No," says Jinyoung churlishly, even if he can't quite follow the gravity of Jaebum's question. "I don't know. Maybe."
"It's either a yes or a no, Jinyoung."
"You're not supposed to be nice. And soft. And good at cuddling. I like cuddling," Jinyoung babbles. "Why are you so nice?"
"I don't know either. Or maybe I have to balance you out."
"I take it back," Jinyoung gasps. "You're a jerk. Stop making me confused."
"I'm a simple guy," Jaebum protests. "You're the only one making things more complicated than they are."
Funny. He's heard this same line somewhere. He doesn't remember. It's irritating when he can't. He changes the subject.
"Right now I hate your face even if I want to lick you sometimes," says Jinyoung, apropos of nothing.
Jaebum lets out a shocked spiel of laughter, any residual bit of frustration disappearing at Jinyoung's words and his wide eyes. "You're really cute, even if you're kind of crazy sometimes."
He fusses at Jaebum's bangs, already distracted by a few strands sticking up. Jaebum is quiet again, but the atmosphere this time is even tenser, if not heavy. Jinyoung really hates awkward silences with other people. At least when he's alone, he can curl up into bed and distract himself with reading or sleeping, ignoring anything and everything outside his room. If he can't stop thinking about how Jaebum is mad at him, maybe everything will be okay. Or he could just force his way into his good graces. Anything sounds like a good idea to him right about now.
"Are we good now?" Jinyoung demands. Jaebum grimaces, but he rubs at Jinyoung's cheek, wiping at the sweat.
"Yeah," says Jaebum softly, leaning closer until Jinyoung can feel the ghost of his lips on his jaw, and Jinyoung beams even if Jaebum is a pretty shitty liar. "We're okay."
"Oh shit," Jackson says, nearly coming to his feet in excitement when Jinyoung slinks into his seat five minutes late, snapback pulled down and sunglasses pilfered from Jaebum's dresser perched lopsidedly on his nose. "Did you do the walk of shame?"
"What walk of shame?" Jinyoung groans. Maybe if he tries his best, the armchair would swallow him up to save him from the professor's glare. His migraine is getting increasingly annoying, even without Jackson to facilitate it.
"I know you came from Jaebum-hyung's flat," says Jackson, stabbing his side with a pencil. "Don't even bother denying it, you're still wearing your clothes from yesterday, you lazy shit. Why isn't he in class?"
"He's asleep." Jinyoung cringes at Jackson's simultaneously scandalized and gratified expression. "What."
"Totally a walk of shame," whispers Jackson, voice proud.
"Not a walk of shame if sex never happened," Jinyoung hisses back.
Someone switches off the lights at the front as a few of their classmates set up the projector. Even in the dim lighting, though, Jinyoung can make out Jackson's face. Jinyoung's so glad he can contribute to Jackson's daily dose of entertainment, the little shit. "Did you want it to happen? Was making out not enough for you, you tramp?"
"Augh, shut up, I'm not awake enough for this." Jackson continues to consider him dubiously, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes and elbows him. "Which reminds me, fuck you for dumping me on his lap."
"You were so out of it," says Jackson, chortling. "You were practically spooning the guy when I got back."
"I what?"
"I posted it on Facebook like a good friend," says Jackson solemnly, with a hand over his heart. The innocent look he gives Jinyoung isn't fooling anyone. "Thank me later."
Jinyoung doesn't bother to answer that, too busy checking his phone and simultaneously trying to kick him out of his seat. "Oh my god," says Jinyoung, horrified. "Please tell me those are not pictures of me cuddling with Im Jaebum."
"I should hope not," Kwon-seonsaengnim calls out from the front of the room. "Now if you have something better to do than listen to the reporters for the day, maybe you'd like to share the sordid details of your night out?" The professor smiles at him, flashing teeth and promising embarrassment and mortification. "In great detail please."
Jinyoung stutters out an apology, glaring at his seatmate. Jackson, the traitor, is bent over his desk, pretending to take notes. The mess of doodles all over his pad paper is his only contribution to the course so far, so he's not fooling anyone. Not for the first time, Jinyoung envies Jackson's ability to coast along most of his classes with an easy smile, and it's with unrepentant equanimity that Jackson tugs him into a conspiratorial huddle after class, snapback digging into Jinyoung's forehead when he leans closer.
"It's cute that you guys kissed and made up," Jackson gushes with fake sweetness. "It was so nauseating I wanted to throw some water in your face."
"You abandoned me, you dick," Jinyoung groans. "Oh god, did I say something stupid yesterday? Because I'm pretty sure I did. I didn't, like, proposition anyone or something, right?" He fusses at his bangs nervously. "Right?"
They both take a moment of solidarity to shudder - the first time Jinyoung had gone to a party with Jackson, the two of them had spent a couple of days tiptoeing around each other from an awkward series of body shots that no one, not even Mark, lets them live down. It was the last barrier to a friendship Jinyoung regrets 90% of the time, like, say, now.
"I can't really say," says Jackson, seriously, "but given how you plastered yourself to hyung, I bet you did."
Jinyoung just feels drained, and the slump in his shoulders doesn't disappear even as they make their way to lunch. "I don't know why I was expecting comfort from you, ever."
"It's okay," Jackson coos, "if hyung still hated you after all that, he wouldn't have dragged your scrawny ass all the way to his flat, right?"
"He was being considerate."
"First you never wanted to hear anything good about the guy, and now you're defending him after you realized how badly you wanted to get into his pants?" Jackson scoffs. "Let me tell you, that guy is nice as far as celebrities go, but he would have ditched you without a second thought if he didn't like you so much."
Jackson pauses, scrunching his face up as he eyes Jinyoung up and down, from his unkempt hair to his creased shirt. Jinyoung scowls and punches him on the shoulder for good measure, Jackson's assessing look rousing his self-consciousness. Jackson groans in pain. "Though, okay, knowing how much of a mess you are in the morning, it might be better that you ran out when you did."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Jinyoung mutters, shaking the pain off his knuckles. Jackson's shoulders are a menace, it's almost at par with his thick skull.
"I'm not here to call you pretty all the time," says Jackson. "I'm not a good enough liar for that."
Jinyoung winces at the first sign of sunlight even with sunglasses on. Mostly it's Jackson that's giving him a headache. "I'm not awake enough for this."
"The sooner that you accept this and go off to make your grand confession, the easier we'll be able to breathe," Jackson tells him, hitting his arm back like the sneaky, underhanded bastard he is. Jinyoung almost trips on the stairs, too wobbly and tired to deal with Jackson. "Or not, considering how you basically ran for your life after hyung took care of you the entire night."
"Who even schedules parties in the middle of the week?"
"Who even goes to them?" Jackson pauses mid-step, realizing his mistake. "Never mind. Stop changing the subject, don't think I don't notice your useless attempts at not talking about your feelings."
They're still squabbling by the time they make it to the Music building's café, and Youngjae stops mid-conversation with Mark when Jinyoung puts his bag down to glower dolefully at them.
"Please tell me we're not discussing Jinyoung-hyung's love life," Youngjae implores. "I'll never be able to look at Jaebum-hyung the same way again if we continue doing this."
"Who said anything about him?" Jinyoung protests, face heating up quickly at Mark's bent form, shaking from laughter.
"No one has to, hyung," Youngjae sighs, looking into his coffee like it has answers to deep and profound questions about life that no one in the room can give him. Forget Jaebum being an actor-dol, Youngjae should look into it instead. "In case you haven't noticed, majority of our conversations always goes back to Jaebum-hyung one way or another.
"I hate his guts," Jackson mimics. He's not a very good actor in contrast. "He gives me complicated feelings."
Mark, to Jinyoung's immense gratitude, shoves Jackson roughly. "Nice pictures, by the way," he comments, flashing the screen of his phone. "Didn't think you'd get so up close and personal so fast, but I always had faith in you, man."
He takes it back. All of them are assholes.
"Did you sleep in the same bed?" Jackson demands. "Is that why you're so shifty? Were you both naked?"
"No one is doing anything without anyone's consent," Jinyoung says, very loudly, if only to stall Jackson's further hysteria. "Especially me."
Jackson crosses his arms over his chest. "You're so defensive, it only makes us wonder even more."
Jinyoung's been spending far too much time with his face mushed against solid objects. Youngjae keeps staring into his coffee. It's not helping him at all. Mark is just treating them as background noise, content on polishing off his bowl of noodles. "I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."
"But you give us the best reactions, Jinyounggie, what are we supposed to do in our spare time?"
"I can think of a lot of things, like, not harassing me about my non-existent sex life with Im Jaebum."
"First of all, stop calling him by his full name. It's gonna be so weird when Jaebum-hyung has a hand on your cock and I'm really invested in you not embarrassing yourself in bed."
"Oh god," Youngjae shrinks into himself further. Jinyoung understands his pain all too well.
"And anyway, fantasies are healthy for growing boys," says Jackson, almost sounding bored. "Like, I'm sexually attracted to you sometimes but that doesn't mean I have to act on it." Everyone stares at Jackson for that. "What, it was just an example!"
"You what," Jinyoung chokes out, still caught somewhere in between the words Jaebum and cock and really, Jackson??? He's in some kind of fucked up alternate dimension. He's sure of it.
"Not helpful, hyung," says Youngjae, vaguely looking traumatized. All that's left of his coffee is sludge, the dredges as murky as Jackson's heart, no doubt. "No one wants to hear about these things. Like, I know Mark-hyung indulges you and Jinyoung-hyung's merry band of brats think everything is hilarious, but I, for one, would really like to go through this without dry heaving into my food."
"Oh my god," Jinyoung whimpers.
"Focus, Jinyoung," says Jackson, snapping his fingers. "Stop thinking with your dick."
"I can't," says Jinyoung, dismayed. "I can't stop thinking about your dick now that you've brought it up. You disgust me. Who's going to pay for my therapy now?"
"That's not really the issue, though, isn't it?" Jackson says loudly over Youngjae and Jinyoung's combined despair. "You wouldn't feel this uncomfortable thinking about Jaebum-hyung's dick, would you?"
Jinyoung opens his mouth. Closes it. Then he closes his eyes instead.
"I hope you realize that I can never show my face to Im Jaebum again," says Jinyoung, sounding as dead as he feels.
"Me too, hyung," Youngjae chimes in, matching his unhappy slouch as Jackson cackles. "Me too."
one | two | part three | four | five | six