You Think You've Tried Love, I'll Give You More (for electricdino)
Title: You Think You've Tried Love, I'll Give You More
Recipient: electricdino
Rating: R
Word Count: 5.5K
Warning(s): none
Summary: [Art School AU] Jaebum films Jinyoung's life as a dancer for his senior thesis. Jinyoung falls in love along the way.
Jinyoung was ten years old when he first fell in love, the day he saw the king of pop dance across his television screen, body moving in a way Jinyoung didn't even know was humanly possible. He had locked himself in his room for the rest of the night, facing his full length mirror, practicing the famous anti-gravity lean he had just watched. Jinyoung woke up the next morning with dark circles smeared underneath his eyes and extremely bruised knees, but a strange sense of satisfaction.
As a gift for his fifteenth birthday, Jinyoung's parents took him to the expensive theater downtown for a sold out European ballet recital and that's where he fell in love all over again. Jinyoung still remembers how mesmerized he was by the allegros and pirouettes, dancers gliding across the stage and flying through the air, each of them contorting their body so effortlessly to the music. It was different from the Michael Jackson videos he's studied, but a good kind of different. Jinyoung had left the performance awe-struck, thinking that this is what he wants to do some day, dancing on stage underneath burning spotlights, having people from all the over world come watch him.
Three years later, Jinyoung gets accepted into the most prestigious performing arts university in Seoul, qualifying for the school's rigorous dance program. Jinyoung didn't think he could love dancing anymore than he already does, but the way he felt when clutching the acceptance letter in his hands, his heart beating wildly against his chest is something he still can't describe coherently to this day.
The persistent summer heat wave finally breaks on the start of September, providing a warm breezy day for the first day back in school. Jinyoung waves goodbye to his parents as they drop him off at the bottom of the dorm building, declining their offer to help him move in. This is his junior year already, he knows the ropes by now.
Jinyoung finds his way to his room on the fifth floor, relieved to see the university's housing department had granted his request for a single. He's never liked living with a roommate, especially since he's been cursed with two art major students during his freshmen and sophomore year, pretentious little pricks who drove Jinyoung absolutely insane with their constant reminder that a paintbrush can create more art than a body ever can.
He opens his suitcases and begins setting up his room, flinging some sheets onto the bare mattress and propping a few pillows up against the headboard. Jinyoung hangs all of his clothes quickly in the closet and proceeds to set up his stereo system on his desk. It's too minimalistic, the room still looks almost empty even after everything has been unpacked, but this is how Jinyoung likes it. He doubts he will be spending that much time in his room anyway since he will practically be spending every waking moment in the dance studio.
Junior year is supposed to be the hardest year in the dance program and Jinyoung's heard more than enough horror stories.
It's twenty minutes into the start of class when Jaebum sneaks into the classroom for his Senior Film Seminar. The professor barely notices his tardiness as he drones on and on about what the theater department expects from them as seniors and Jaebum sigh inwardly because every film major knows the senior film thesis is pretty much the only thing that stands in the way of their graduation.
After another twenty minutes of the rehearsed monotone speech, the professor finally begins to discuss the senior thesis. He informs the students that they're allowed to pick any subject of interest they want and create a thirty minute film on it while exploring a theme. Frustrated groans start to erupt in the room, but Jaebum doesn't seem bothered as he sits back in his chair. He's been waiting for this opportunity practically since he's been admitted into the university as a film major.
Just then, a buzz comes from his pocket and Jaebum slides his phone out to see a text from his friend, Mark asking him to meet up at the dance building before they head out to lunch. Jaebum gets up from his seat quietly before slipping out of the room. It's not like he needed to sit through the last twenty minutes of class anyway. He's gotten enough information from the professor about the senior thesis and he's more than ready to start shooting his film.
Jaebum makes his way across campus to where the dance department's classes are held. He enters the main building and takes the elevator to the top floor. He walks down the hall, peeking his head into random studios, but the other boy is nowhere to be found. Jaebum sighs as he follows the contrasting sounds of music spilling out from different rooms as he continues his search. By the time he's done with the left wing, Jaebum's about to give up altogether when he hears chords from a contemporary mid-tempo song drift from one of the end studios. He gravitates toward the melody, the song becoming more sensual the longer it plays until Jaebum finds himself staring through the closed ribbed glass doors at a boy dancing alone in front of the mirror, his body almost melting with the rhythm. Jaebum's not a dancer, in fact, he's never really hung out with any dance majors during his four years here, but there's something so enchanting about the way the boy is moving that Jaebum can't tear his eyes away.
And when the boy twists his feet so effortlessly that he almost looks like he's floating on air, Jaebum's pulse increases and he knows he's found the subject of his film. He waits for the song to stop before knocking twice and turning the door knob.
"Hi, sorry to interrupt your practice. My name's Jaebum. I was wondering if I can film you for my senior thesis. I'm a film major."
The words tumble out of Jaebum's mouth in one quick breath before he can even stop himself. Suddenly, he doesn't know why he's there, standing awkwardly in front of a boy with bangs drenched in sweat who clearly has no time or interest for this conversation. Jaebum has lots of friends in other majors that he can ask to help out with his film, he doesn't really need to ask a stranger, but there's something so intriguing about this boy that Jaebum can't pass up the chance.
"You want to film me? Why?" Jinyoung asks as he takes huge gulps of water, trying to even his breathing.
"I don't know," Jaebum shrugs. "You seem really good."
"I'm not even close to being good," Jinyoung scoffs and his words aren't spoken out of modesty. Jaebum senses a hint of bitterness in his tone.
"Well that's fine," Jaebum says. "I can work with that. What type of dance do you focus on?"
"Contemporary hip-hop."
Jinyoung drains the rest of his water bottle and tosses it back into his bag.
"Why don't you try Kim Yugyeom instead. He's a second year. Probably fit into your film better."
Jinyoung doesn't give Jaebum an opportunity to reply as he turns around and hits the play button on the stereo, the next song blaring throughout the room, blocking out the rest of Jaebum's firm protests.
Jaebum spots him easily in the student center's cafe, sitting alone at a table with his face buried in a book, a plate of sandwich half eaten pushed to the side.
"So I found this Kim Yugyeom person you told me about," Jaebum begins as he slides into the empty chair across from Jinyoung.
Jinyoung looks up from where he's going over some notes for his music theory elective. "Perfect dancer, isn't he?"
"He is," Jaebum agrees.
"Did you ask him to be in your film?"
"Nope," Jaebum replies with a simple shake of his head. "I still want you to be in my film."
"What? But you just said-"
"Perfect is boring," Jaebum cuts in. "I want to film something real, you know? Something raw. You look like you have an actual story behind your dancing."
"You don't even know me. How do you know if I have a story or not?"
"Director's instincts, I guess," Jaebum shrugs.
"You don't even know my name," Jinyoung answers pointedly.
"Okay, what's your name?" Jaebum asks, accompanied by an amused grin.
"Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung."
"Well Jinyoung," Jaebum stands up and grabs the pen lying on top of Jinyoung's notebook, scrawling his number across the top of the page. "Just think about it, please. Text me if you change your mind."
It's almost three in the morning when Jaebum's phone lights up in the dark and he's greeted with the words okay i'll be in your film when he wakes up.
Jaebum follows Jinyoung to dance practice a week later, adjusting the camera that sits snugly on top of the tripod as he zooms in on Jinyoung stretching in the corner of the studio.
“Okay, just practice like how you would normally. Pretend like I’m not even here.”
“Kind of difficult to do that,” Jinyoung grumbles as he goes over to the stereo system to plug his ipod in. “But anyways, this is one of the short pieces I’m doing for my end of semester dance showcase."
A simple tune with a steady haunting beat fills the room and Jinyoung begins to dance. Jaebum situates himself behind his camera, making sure the tiny red button is flashing and Jinyoung’s in focus. He watches intensely as the other boy glides across the room on the tiny playback panel on his camera, movements so smooth and fluid, it’s like every bone in his body matches the beat. It doesn't take an expert to tell that Jinyoung must have gone through this routine at least a thousand times already. The way he moves is almost too familiar and routined.
The verse ends a minutes later and Jinyoung looks over towards Jaebum, waiting expectantly. Jaebum opens his mouth, but no words come out. He isn't sure if Jinyoung's seeking a compliment or a critique so he plays it safe.
“That was really good,” Jaebum praises honestly, only to receive a dismissive wave from Jinyoung.
“No it wasn’t. Again,” Jinyoung replies hastily as he motions for Jaebum to hit the play button on the stereo.
Jinyoung starts again and Jaebum’s back behind the camera. They continue like this for what seems like eternity, Jinyoung ending each run with a negative comment, some long, some short, signaling for Jaebum to replay the song.
By the time Jinyoung collapses onto the hardwood floor, his t-shirt drenched in sweat, Jaebum’s lost count of how may times they’ve run through the choreography. He must have well more than an hour of footage of Jinyoung dancing the same routine. The room’s eerily quiet except for Jinyoung’s harsh breathing.
“Too calculated,” Jaebum mumbles to himself as he watches the replay on his camera.
“Excuse me?" Jinyoung sits up.
“Your moves are too calculated,” Jaebum repeats as he glances up. There’s no malice in his tone and he doesn’t say it in a way that’s meant for it to be degrading, but Jinyoung tenses at the remark anyway before an unpleasant look spreads across his face.
“And what do you know about dance that gives you the right to give me tips?"
“Jinyoung, I didn’t-I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
“You’re a film major, yeah? Just stick to what you know."
Jinyoung lifts himself up from the floor to get another water bottle, downing the liquid in five huge gulps. Jaebum can tell from the way Jinyoung's rummaging through the contents of his bag that he's pissed.
“Well this is a good start,” Jaebum cautiously states when he realizes Jinyoung won’t be the one making any conversation. “I think I got some good footage I can use. You want to go grab a bite to eat or something? We’ve been here for forever.”
Jinyoung shakes his head, but doesn't turn around to look at Jaebum. “No, it’s after seven. I can’t eat after seven.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I have to follow a very strict diet. All the dancers do.”
“Oh,” Jaebum nods reluctantly. “Well you want to come with me anyway? I don’t really like eating alone.” Jaebum gives him a sheepish grin, just enough to show the faint outline of his teeth, which Jinyoung finds almost oddly endearing. Jaebum looks tired and Jinyoung feels a hint of guilt stir from within. He knows he hasn't been exactly the most ideal candidate to work with and he's surprised Jaebum didn't run out the second he turned off the camera.
“Sure,” Jinyoung agrees, giving Jaebum a slight smile in return. “I can do that.”
They find themselves at a tiny noodle shop within walking distance of the campus, seated opposite of each other on a wooden bench and table.
“You were right, you know. What you said before,” Jinyoung comments absentmindedly as he watches Jaebum take a bite of his jjapchae.
“Right about what?”
“About my moves being too calculated. You’re right, they are. I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. It’s just frustrating that even a stranger who doesn’t know anything about dance can tell,” Jinyoung laughs bitterly. "That means everyone else can too.”
“It’s not a bad thing really,” Jaebum shrugs around a mouthful of noodles. “I mean, you have the choreography down cold, isn’t that good?”
“I know I lack emotions when I dance. That’s always been my biggest struggle. I can do these routines in my sleep, but they don’t mean anything. I want to be a dancer that’s able to dance a piece that means something to someone, you know? A dancer that’s able to make the audience think more than just wow, he’s really good or the choreography was great.”
“I get it,” Jaebum nods as he sets his chopsticks down. “It’s the same with me and film. How do I make a movie that makes people feel something when they watch it? How do I get them to say more than just yeah, the acting was good or that was shot nicely. It’s tough. I’m not a dancer, but trust me, I know.”
“Yeah?” Jinyoung asks quietly, his eyes curving softly and pretty, the menacing guard he’s been fronting all day slowing coming down.
“Yeah,” Jaebum replies as he picks up a little bundle of noodles. “You’ll get it though.”
Jaebum offers Jinyoung a bite of his food, holding up the pair of chopsticks to him, but Jinyoung politely declines.
Jinyoung does take Jaebum’s offer to walk him back to his dorm.
Their little arrangement continues everyday for the following week, Jaebum showing up to Jinyoung's solo dance practices located in the same corner studio. Jinyoung usually stays there into the late hours of the night, accompanied by his ipod and piles of water bottles and occasionally Jaebum himself if he decides to stay late as well. Sometimes, Jaebum brings his laptop to begin his film editing and those days, both end up so engrossed in their own pieces of work, Jaebum clicking away while Jinyoung choreographs random dances in front of the mirror, that they don't even realize when the sun's rising.
It's a typical Thursday evening when Jaebum enters the studio, waving a pair of tickets in the air.
"Hey Jinyoung, let's skip practice and filming for today. My friend works at the theater downtown and managed to get me two tickets for this dance performance tonight. It's no one that famous, just a local group, but I thought you might be interested in going?"
Jinyoung stares at Jaebum's extended palm before shaking his head slowly.
"Sorry, but I can't really afford to skip practice. I still have several pieces I need to choreograph and practice for the showcase."
"Are you sure?" Jaebum presses. "Come on, it will be fun. You practice everyday anyway, I'm sure missing one day won't hurt."
"Trust me, it will hurt," Jinyoung answers firmly as he makes his way to the corner of the room to begin his stretching. "Maybe you can go with someone else."
"None of my friends are interested in dance. That's why I'm asking you." Jaebum's perfectly stubborn when he wants to be as he thrusts the tickets back into Jinyoung's face.
"I can't go, Jaebum," Jinyoung grits out. "I need to practice."
"You practice so much already."
"There's people in my year who practice twice as much as me."
"But how hard can it be?" Jaebum retorts impatiently. "It's just dancing."
Jaebum realizes how careless and condescending his words sound after they leave his mouth and he regrets it immediately when he sees anger and pain flash across Jinyoung's face. The last thing he wants Jinyoung to think is that dancing is a trivial activity and the blood, sweat and tears Jaebum's seen him pour into his art is a waste. He knows Jinyoung's talented. Insecure, but so amazingly talented and Jaebum hates himself for making Jinyoung doubt that for even a second.
But it's too late.
"Oh, is that what people tell you?" Jinyoung spits out. "How hard can it be? Don't you just sit behind a camera? Fuck off Jaebum, if you're going to talk down about my major, you can go find someone else to film."
"Jinyoung, I"m sorry," Jaebum sighs. "I didn't mean it like that."
"You say a lot of things that you don't mean like that."
"And you take everything the wrong way," Jaebum suddenly snaps. "Can you for once stop thinking that everyone's insulting you? Maybe then you'll see just how talented you are? And that a lot of us appreciate your talents. You know what? Forget it. I was trying to do something nice for you but if you're just going to be an ass about it, fine, we can just do the usual practice."
Jinyoung flinches at Jaebum's equally harsh words and he doesn't know which part rings louder in his ear, the compliment or the criticism. He can feel goosebumps slowly rise over his skin. It's been almost a month since Jaebum came into his life and Jinyoung hasn't seen the other boy lose his temper even once despite all the attitude he throws Jaebum's way. He feels terrible, a gut wrenching feeling sloshing around in his stomach as Jinyoung watches Jaebum fiddle with his bag, shoving his camera inside.
"Actually, I'll just see you tomorrow. Not really in the mood to film anymore," Jaebum grumbles as he makes his way towards the door.
"Don't go," Jinyoung whispers. It's barely audible but he hopes Jaebum hears him. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. You're always so nice to me and you surprise me today with tickets to the performance and all I ever do is complain about how nothing is good enough. I understand if you don't want me in your film anymore."
Jinyoung pauses to take a deep breath.
"But before you back out, will you go to the performance with me? If you'll have me that is."
He looks up to give Jaebum a shaky smile and to his relief, Jaebum spins around to face him, answering his question with a soft curve of his own lips.
"Of course I'll have you."
Jaebum walks Jinyoung home after the performance, listening contently to Jinyoung's animated play by play of what happened. It's the first time Jaebum's heard Jinyoung talk this much, his words filled with excitement and his eyes crinkling whenever he brings up a specific move one of the dancers did. It's nice to see Jinyoung like this, Jaebum thinks, happy and passionate about dance, just like how it should be.
By the time they reach Jinyoung's dorm building, it's almost eleven at night, the surrounding area empty of students.
"I really appreciate the tickets," Jinyoung thanks Jaebum gratefully. The dim lights outside the building casts a nice glow around Jinyoung and Jaebum thinks the other boy looks absolutely beautiful. "I had a nice time. I hope you did too."
"It's no problem," Jaebum replies. "I liked seeing you smile. I mean, I like seeing you smile."
Jinyoung ducks his head and chuckles lightly, unsure of how to respond to Jaebum's comment. "Yeah well, see you tomorrow," he finally answers and turns to head into the building.
"Hey," Jaebum murmurs quietly as he catches Jinyoung's arm, thumb running softly over the protruding vein along his wrist. Jaebum thinks if he presses down hard enough, he can feel Jinyoung's pulse vibrate in his hand. "Can I kiss you?"
"Kiss me?" Jinyoung swallows hard, taken back that Jaebum would ask such a thing. He drops his head and runs his foot over the dark rugged concrete, Jaebum's overwhelming presence too much for him to handle. "Why would you want to do that?"
"Looks like you could use it," Jaebum whispers back as he reaches out his other hand and tilts up Jinyoung's face, two fingers placed lightly under his chin. Jinyoung's face is so close to his, Jaebum can count the individual eyelashes framing his eyes. "And because I really want to," he confesses the last line so quietly, Jinyoung almost doesn't hear him.
"Okay," Jinyoung nods, letting out a shaky breath he wasn't even aware he was holding. "Okay, you can kiss me."
So Jaebum does. He leans forward and covers Jinyoung's mouth with his own, coaxing him into their first kiss. It's short, but the way Jaebum's lips move against Jinyoung's own still manages to push all the oxygen out of the younger boy's lungs as he grabs a fistful of Jaebum's shirt to steady himself, enveloping himself into Jaebum's undeniable warmth.
"Good night," Jaebum smiles when he pulls away and rests his forehead against Jinyoung's. "See you tomorrow."
"Wait," Jinyoung calls out just as Jaebum's about to turn around and it's his turn to grab Jaebum's hand this time. "Kiss me again."
The three words echo repeatedly in Jaebum's ear and when he finally registers what Jinyoung has said, he breaks out into a stunning smile, pearly whites unbelievably radiant even in the darkness of the night. He pulls Jinyoung back in by the nape of his neck and kisses him harder this time, backing him up against the brick wall. And when Jinyoung gasps and parts his lips, Jaebum wastes no time in curling their tongues together.
Jinyoung's lips taste like intoxicating citrus mixed with hope and promises of forever that Jaebum doesn't think he can ever stop.
It's hard to not get distracted from practice once Jaebum starts being a permanent in Jinyoung's life. Jaebum is completely the opposite of Jinyoung, but maybe that's why they work, completing each other like pieces in a puzzle.
Jaebum loves to explore, never able to sit still for more than an hour, always dragging Jinyoung out at all hours of the day despite his protests of needing to practice.
"I think you're a bad influence on me," Jinyoung jokes one day when they're tangled on his tiny dorm bed listening to music because Jaebum's too lazy to walk back to his off campus apartment.
"Please, I'm a good influence," Jaebum snorts as he buries his head into the crook of Jinyoung's neck. "I'm teaching you how to balance work and play."
"Play."
"Yes, play," Jaebum repeats and attacks Jinyoung into the mattress, kissing him senseless.
It's a welcoming distraction, Jinyoung thinks, because it's Jaebum who calms him down when he's having yet another meltdown at practice, it's Jaebum who reminds him that he needs to eat and sleep in order to actually have enough energy to dance, and it's Jaebum who soothes all his anxiety away with feather like kisses placed gently on his forehead.
Jaebum's the constant in Jinyoung's life that's filled with uncertainty and Jinyoung couldn't be more glad to have him there.
Jaebum invites Jinyoung to come over to his apartment a couple weeks later, telling him that the beginning few minutes of the film is done and edited and if he wants to take a look. Jinyoung graciously accepts the invitation and skips practice for the night without beating himself up over it, arriving at Jaebum's doorstep promptly at eight.
"Hey," Jaebum greets him when he opens the door, giving Jinyoung a quick peck on the lips. "Come in."
Jinyoung turns a light shade of dusty pink as he follows Jaebum inside, toeing off his shoes at the door. Jaebum's apartment is small, but clean and cozy, the living room containing a simple sofa, coffee table and TV.
"You live here alone?" Jinyoung asks as he looks around, taking in his surroundings.
"Nah, I have a roommate. His name's Jackson, but he's been holed up in the sound studios all week for a project. He's a music production major."
"Sounds better than the pretentious art majors I had to live with."
"Yeah well, no one likes the art majors," Jaebum rolls his eyes. "You want something to drink?"
"Just water is fine."
Jaebum heads over to the connecting kitchen, taking out a water filter from the fridge and pouring a glass to the brim. He walks back over to Jinyoung and leans in half way, waiting expectantly. Butterflies easily find their way into Jinyoung's stomach as he meets Jaebum in the middle, touching their lips and he can feel Jaebum grinning into the kiss. Jaebum's lips feel soft and plump, sliding deliciously against his own. When they finally pull apart, Jinyoung's left breathless and Jaebum drops the glass into his hand.
"Sit, let me show you what I have so far."
Jaebum disappears into his room, emerging a few seconds later with his laptop. He settles down next to Jinyoung on the couch, pulling up his movie editing program and pressing the play button. The introduction is a fast paced minute of random cuts of Jinyoung dancing with a heavy staccato beat looped in the background.
"Wow, that was really good," Jinyoung gapes at the screen when it's finished. "You're really talented. Maybe you can film my real dance reel."
"Sure, but that might have to wait until my thesis is done," Jaebum laughs.
Jinyoung's heart does a weird flip in his chest at the melodic sound and he's suddenly aware of how close Jaebum is, burning from his body heat. Jinyoung leans forward and captures Jaebum's mouth in a kiss, which the other boy eagerly reponds to.
Jaebum ends up pinning Jinyoung down on the couch, hands boldly roaming down Jinyoung's torso before he finally slips his fingertips underneath his shirt. He grazes his nails further down until he's teasingly toying with the band of Jinyoung's boxers.
"Wait," Jinyoung gasps as he surfaces for air, lips red and swollen.
"Sorry," Jaebum apologizes. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."
"No, it's not that. It's just-bed," Jinyoung simply points past Jaebum towards the general direction of the bedroom.
"Are you sure?" Jaebum asks nervously and Jinyoung nods.
Jaebum drags Jinyoung forward by the magnetic pull of their lips and leads him towards the bedroom, their mouths never once disconnecting. Jaebum only moves away long enough to pull Jinyoung's flimsy t-shirt over his head. Jinyoung lands with a soft thud on Jaebum's mattress, the older boy hovering over him, ghosting his lips across the smooth expanse of Jinyoung's lean muscles, exploring and mapping out every inch, every curve, every line. It's Jinyoung's turn this time now to bury his fingers underneath Jaebum's shirt, seeking warmth and comfort and everything that Jaebum could possibly give.
It's overwhelming the way Jaebum stares down at him, eyes so full of genuine love and sincerity that Jinyoung has to shut his own eyes to calm his erratically beating heart. Jaebum leans down to kiss him with so much passion, as if the only way to breathe is through him, and Jinyoung thinks this must be the explosive feeling books and moves write about.
Jaebum rocks into Jinyoung nice and slow that night, giving him the most pleasure possible until the other boy is a writhing mess underneath him, their bodies twisting in such perfect harmony, movements more beautiful than anything Jinyoung could ever choreograph. Breathy whispers of fuck spill out of Jinyoung's mouth uncontrollably and Jaebum swallows it all including the throaty moan that the younger boy lets out when he reaches his orgasm.
When they're drifting off to sleep that night, Jaebum wrapped tightly and safely around him, Jinyoung wonders how he managed to get so lucky to have Jaebum stumble into his life without any intentions of ever leaving. He reaches out a hand to caress Jaebum's face, making sure he's not dreaming and that the boy lying next to him is actually real. Jaebum stirs in his sleep and Jinyoung snatches his hand back, breathing ragged and yes, Jaebum's real, this feeling is real, everything is real and raw and perfect.
Jinyoung didn't think he could love anything as much as dancing until Jaebum came into his life.
It's snowing by the time the fall semester draws to a close, pretty white diamonds covering the city in a layer of white. Jinyoung has been a nervous wreck for the past week, stressing over his showcase, asking Jaebum over and over if he'll be there until eventually Jaebum had to shut him up in the form of kisses, reassuring Jinyoung that he wouldn't miss it for the world.
The day of the showcase, Jaebum finds Jinyoung backstage a few minutes before the performance is due to start.
"You aren't supposed to be here," Jinyoung chides when he spots Jaebum's head poking in around the dressing room door.
"Well I just want to let you know that I'll be proud of you no matter what."
"You're sweet," Jinyoung blushes as he gives Jaebum a quick kiss. "I'll look for you when I'm on stage."
A good number of students perform before it's Jinyoung's turn and by the time he takes the stage, Jaebum's already super restless in his seat. Jinyoung looks good, his silhouette outlined in a simple pair of red converses, fitted jeans and white v-neck. A single spotlight shines down on him as the music begins to play, the same song that Jaebum had spent over an hour filming him practice on the very first day. The choreography is still the same, but there's something different about the way Jinyoung moves this time, more liberating, conscious and passionate.
Jinyoung had put together a breathtaking ten minute routine with a nice variety of songs, some fast, some slow, that has the audience cheering on their feet by the time he hits his final pose at the end.
Jaebum keeps his distance when he goes to find Jinyoung after the performance, letting his parents, friends and fellow classmates crowd around him first. Jaebum knows he doesn't have to be caught in between all of them for Jinyoung to notice him. Jinyoung's practically glowing as he gets showered by compliments and flowers and Jaebum's chest rises with a sense of pride.
"Hey," Jinyoung's eyes crinkle up around the edges when he finally catches spots Jaebum and rushes over.
"Congrats babe," Jaebum kisses Jinyoung as he hands over his own bouquet of flowers. "You were amazing. Definitely the best one."
"You're not saying that cause you're biased?" Jinyoung jokes.
"Well maybe I am. Anyways, can I take you out to dinner? I made reservations at that sushi restaurant you've been wanting to try."
"Sure, but come meet my parents first?"
Before Jaebum can protest, Jinyoung already has a tight grip around his hand, dragging him towards the exit where his parents are waiting. Jinyoung didn't warn him that it was meet the parents day. Jaebum thanks his lucky stars he's at least dressed semi-formally for the event.
"Mom, Dad, this is Jaebum. My boyfriend," Jinyoung announces proudly.
Jaebum's breath catches for a moment before he extends a nervous hand. They've been official for awhile now, but he still gets flustered whenever Jinyoung refers to him as his boyfriend, especially in front of his parents no less.
"Oh, Jaebum!" Jinyoung's mom gushes as she clasps his hand. "It's so wonderful to finally meet you."
"Pleasure's all mine, Mr. and Mrs. Park," Jaebum bows politely. "Your son's really talented."
"And we have you to thank for that. Jinyoung's told us so much about how you brought the joy back in dancing for him."
Jaebum looks at Jinyoung out of his peripheral vision and the other boy turns away, embarrassed.
"Well, as long as Jinyoung's happy, I'm happy."
Jinyoung beams in response.
Jinyoung was ten years old when he thought there was nothing better in this world than dancing. He was ten years old when he first fell in love, with the art created by mere body movements brought to life under bright stage lights. Jinyoung's twenty now and he still thinks there's nothing better in this world than dancing except for a boy with an infectious smile and a heart made out of gold. Jinyoung's twenty now and he doesn't think he will ever love anything or anyone harder than he loves Im Jaebum.
Jinyoung's dance pieces inspired by Brian Puspos's choreo to Chris Brown's Wet The Bed and Kyle Hanagami's choreo to Mike Posner's Falling.
Recipient: electricdino
Rating: R
Word Count: 5.5K
Warning(s): none
Summary: [Art School AU] Jaebum films Jinyoung's life as a dancer for his senior thesis. Jinyoung falls in love along the way.
Jinyoung was ten years old when he first fell in love, the day he saw the king of pop dance across his television screen, body moving in a way Jinyoung didn't even know was humanly possible. He had locked himself in his room for the rest of the night, facing his full length mirror, practicing the famous anti-gravity lean he had just watched. Jinyoung woke up the next morning with dark circles smeared underneath his eyes and extremely bruised knees, but a strange sense of satisfaction.
As a gift for his fifteenth birthday, Jinyoung's parents took him to the expensive theater downtown for a sold out European ballet recital and that's where he fell in love all over again. Jinyoung still remembers how mesmerized he was by the allegros and pirouettes, dancers gliding across the stage and flying through the air, each of them contorting their body so effortlessly to the music. It was different from the Michael Jackson videos he's studied, but a good kind of different. Jinyoung had left the performance awe-struck, thinking that this is what he wants to do some day, dancing on stage underneath burning spotlights, having people from all the over world come watch him.
Three years later, Jinyoung gets accepted into the most prestigious performing arts university in Seoul, qualifying for the school's rigorous dance program. Jinyoung didn't think he could love dancing anymore than he already does, but the way he felt when clutching the acceptance letter in his hands, his heart beating wildly against his chest is something he still can't describe coherently to this day.
The persistent summer heat wave finally breaks on the start of September, providing a warm breezy day for the first day back in school. Jinyoung waves goodbye to his parents as they drop him off at the bottom of the dorm building, declining their offer to help him move in. This is his junior year already, he knows the ropes by now.
Jinyoung finds his way to his room on the fifth floor, relieved to see the university's housing department had granted his request for a single. He's never liked living with a roommate, especially since he's been cursed with two art major students during his freshmen and sophomore year, pretentious little pricks who drove Jinyoung absolutely insane with their constant reminder that a paintbrush can create more art than a body ever can.
He opens his suitcases and begins setting up his room, flinging some sheets onto the bare mattress and propping a few pillows up against the headboard. Jinyoung hangs all of his clothes quickly in the closet and proceeds to set up his stereo system on his desk. It's too minimalistic, the room still looks almost empty even after everything has been unpacked, but this is how Jinyoung likes it. He doubts he will be spending that much time in his room anyway since he will practically be spending every waking moment in the dance studio.
Junior year is supposed to be the hardest year in the dance program and Jinyoung's heard more than enough horror stories.
It's twenty minutes into the start of class when Jaebum sneaks into the classroom for his Senior Film Seminar. The professor barely notices his tardiness as he drones on and on about what the theater department expects from them as seniors and Jaebum sigh inwardly because every film major knows the senior film thesis is pretty much the only thing that stands in the way of their graduation.
After another twenty minutes of the rehearsed monotone speech, the professor finally begins to discuss the senior thesis. He informs the students that they're allowed to pick any subject of interest they want and create a thirty minute film on it while exploring a theme. Frustrated groans start to erupt in the room, but Jaebum doesn't seem bothered as he sits back in his chair. He's been waiting for this opportunity practically since he's been admitted into the university as a film major.
Just then, a buzz comes from his pocket and Jaebum slides his phone out to see a text from his friend, Mark asking him to meet up at the dance building before they head out to lunch. Jaebum gets up from his seat quietly before slipping out of the room. It's not like he needed to sit through the last twenty minutes of class anyway. He's gotten enough information from the professor about the senior thesis and he's more than ready to start shooting his film.
Jaebum makes his way across campus to where the dance department's classes are held. He enters the main building and takes the elevator to the top floor. He walks down the hall, peeking his head into random studios, but the other boy is nowhere to be found. Jaebum sighs as he follows the contrasting sounds of music spilling out from different rooms as he continues his search. By the time he's done with the left wing, Jaebum's about to give up altogether when he hears chords from a contemporary mid-tempo song drift from one of the end studios. He gravitates toward the melody, the song becoming more sensual the longer it plays until Jaebum finds himself staring through the closed ribbed glass doors at a boy dancing alone in front of the mirror, his body almost melting with the rhythm. Jaebum's not a dancer, in fact, he's never really hung out with any dance majors during his four years here, but there's something so enchanting about the way the boy is moving that Jaebum can't tear his eyes away.
And when the boy twists his feet so effortlessly that he almost looks like he's floating on air, Jaebum's pulse increases and he knows he's found the subject of his film. He waits for the song to stop before knocking twice and turning the door knob.
"Hi, sorry to interrupt your practice. My name's Jaebum. I was wondering if I can film you for my senior thesis. I'm a film major."
The words tumble out of Jaebum's mouth in one quick breath before he can even stop himself. Suddenly, he doesn't know why he's there, standing awkwardly in front of a boy with bangs drenched in sweat who clearly has no time or interest for this conversation. Jaebum has lots of friends in other majors that he can ask to help out with his film, he doesn't really need to ask a stranger, but there's something so intriguing about this boy that Jaebum can't pass up the chance.
"You want to film me? Why?" Jinyoung asks as he takes huge gulps of water, trying to even his breathing.
"I don't know," Jaebum shrugs. "You seem really good."
"I'm not even close to being good," Jinyoung scoffs and his words aren't spoken out of modesty. Jaebum senses a hint of bitterness in his tone.
"Well that's fine," Jaebum says. "I can work with that. What type of dance do you focus on?"
"Contemporary hip-hop."
Jinyoung drains the rest of his water bottle and tosses it back into his bag.
"Why don't you try Kim Yugyeom instead. He's a second year. Probably fit into your film better."
Jinyoung doesn't give Jaebum an opportunity to reply as he turns around and hits the play button on the stereo, the next song blaring throughout the room, blocking out the rest of Jaebum's firm protests.
Jaebum spots him easily in the student center's cafe, sitting alone at a table with his face buried in a book, a plate of sandwich half eaten pushed to the side.
"So I found this Kim Yugyeom person you told me about," Jaebum begins as he slides into the empty chair across from Jinyoung.
Jinyoung looks up from where he's going over some notes for his music theory elective. "Perfect dancer, isn't he?"
"He is," Jaebum agrees.
"Did you ask him to be in your film?"
"Nope," Jaebum replies with a simple shake of his head. "I still want you to be in my film."
"What? But you just said-"
"Perfect is boring," Jaebum cuts in. "I want to film something real, you know? Something raw. You look like you have an actual story behind your dancing."
"You don't even know me. How do you know if I have a story or not?"
"Director's instincts, I guess," Jaebum shrugs.
"You don't even know my name," Jinyoung answers pointedly.
"Okay, what's your name?" Jaebum asks, accompanied by an amused grin.
"Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung."
"Well Jinyoung," Jaebum stands up and grabs the pen lying on top of Jinyoung's notebook, scrawling his number across the top of the page. "Just think about it, please. Text me if you change your mind."
It's almost three in the morning when Jaebum's phone lights up in the dark and he's greeted with the words okay i'll be in your film when he wakes up.
Jaebum follows Jinyoung to dance practice a week later, adjusting the camera that sits snugly on top of the tripod as he zooms in on Jinyoung stretching in the corner of the studio.
“Okay, just practice like how you would normally. Pretend like I’m not even here.”
“Kind of difficult to do that,” Jinyoung grumbles as he goes over to the stereo system to plug his ipod in. “But anyways, this is one of the short pieces I’m doing for my end of semester dance showcase."
A simple tune with a steady haunting beat fills the room and Jinyoung begins to dance. Jaebum situates himself behind his camera, making sure the tiny red button is flashing and Jinyoung’s in focus. He watches intensely as the other boy glides across the room on the tiny playback panel on his camera, movements so smooth and fluid, it’s like every bone in his body matches the beat. It doesn't take an expert to tell that Jinyoung must have gone through this routine at least a thousand times already. The way he moves is almost too familiar and routined.
The verse ends a minutes later and Jinyoung looks over towards Jaebum, waiting expectantly. Jaebum opens his mouth, but no words come out. He isn't sure if Jinyoung's seeking a compliment or a critique so he plays it safe.
“That was really good,” Jaebum praises honestly, only to receive a dismissive wave from Jinyoung.
“No it wasn’t. Again,” Jinyoung replies hastily as he motions for Jaebum to hit the play button on the stereo.
Jinyoung starts again and Jaebum’s back behind the camera. They continue like this for what seems like eternity, Jinyoung ending each run with a negative comment, some long, some short, signaling for Jaebum to replay the song.
By the time Jinyoung collapses onto the hardwood floor, his t-shirt drenched in sweat, Jaebum’s lost count of how may times they’ve run through the choreography. He must have well more than an hour of footage of Jinyoung dancing the same routine. The room’s eerily quiet except for Jinyoung’s harsh breathing.
“Too calculated,” Jaebum mumbles to himself as he watches the replay on his camera.
“Excuse me?" Jinyoung sits up.
“Your moves are too calculated,” Jaebum repeats as he glances up. There’s no malice in his tone and he doesn’t say it in a way that’s meant for it to be degrading, but Jinyoung tenses at the remark anyway before an unpleasant look spreads across his face.
“And what do you know about dance that gives you the right to give me tips?"
“Jinyoung, I didn’t-I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
“You’re a film major, yeah? Just stick to what you know."
Jinyoung lifts himself up from the floor to get another water bottle, downing the liquid in five huge gulps. Jaebum can tell from the way Jinyoung's rummaging through the contents of his bag that he's pissed.
“Well this is a good start,” Jaebum cautiously states when he realizes Jinyoung won’t be the one making any conversation. “I think I got some good footage I can use. You want to go grab a bite to eat or something? We’ve been here for forever.”
Jinyoung shakes his head, but doesn't turn around to look at Jaebum. “No, it’s after seven. I can’t eat after seven.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I have to follow a very strict diet. All the dancers do.”
“Oh,” Jaebum nods reluctantly. “Well you want to come with me anyway? I don’t really like eating alone.” Jaebum gives him a sheepish grin, just enough to show the faint outline of his teeth, which Jinyoung finds almost oddly endearing. Jaebum looks tired and Jinyoung feels a hint of guilt stir from within. He knows he hasn't been exactly the most ideal candidate to work with and he's surprised Jaebum didn't run out the second he turned off the camera.
“Sure,” Jinyoung agrees, giving Jaebum a slight smile in return. “I can do that.”
They find themselves at a tiny noodle shop within walking distance of the campus, seated opposite of each other on a wooden bench and table.
“You were right, you know. What you said before,” Jinyoung comments absentmindedly as he watches Jaebum take a bite of his jjapchae.
“Right about what?”
“About my moves being too calculated. You’re right, they are. I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. It’s just frustrating that even a stranger who doesn’t know anything about dance can tell,” Jinyoung laughs bitterly. "That means everyone else can too.”
“It’s not a bad thing really,” Jaebum shrugs around a mouthful of noodles. “I mean, you have the choreography down cold, isn’t that good?”
“I know I lack emotions when I dance. That’s always been my biggest struggle. I can do these routines in my sleep, but they don’t mean anything. I want to be a dancer that’s able to dance a piece that means something to someone, you know? A dancer that’s able to make the audience think more than just wow, he’s really good or the choreography was great.”
“I get it,” Jaebum nods as he sets his chopsticks down. “It’s the same with me and film. How do I make a movie that makes people feel something when they watch it? How do I get them to say more than just yeah, the acting was good or that was shot nicely. It’s tough. I’m not a dancer, but trust me, I know.”
“Yeah?” Jinyoung asks quietly, his eyes curving softly and pretty, the menacing guard he’s been fronting all day slowing coming down.
“Yeah,” Jaebum replies as he picks up a little bundle of noodles. “You’ll get it though.”
Jaebum offers Jinyoung a bite of his food, holding up the pair of chopsticks to him, but Jinyoung politely declines.
Jinyoung does take Jaebum’s offer to walk him back to his dorm.
Their little arrangement continues everyday for the following week, Jaebum showing up to Jinyoung's solo dance practices located in the same corner studio. Jinyoung usually stays there into the late hours of the night, accompanied by his ipod and piles of water bottles and occasionally Jaebum himself if he decides to stay late as well. Sometimes, Jaebum brings his laptop to begin his film editing and those days, both end up so engrossed in their own pieces of work, Jaebum clicking away while Jinyoung choreographs random dances in front of the mirror, that they don't even realize when the sun's rising.
It's a typical Thursday evening when Jaebum enters the studio, waving a pair of tickets in the air.
"Hey Jinyoung, let's skip practice and filming for today. My friend works at the theater downtown and managed to get me two tickets for this dance performance tonight. It's no one that famous, just a local group, but I thought you might be interested in going?"
Jinyoung stares at Jaebum's extended palm before shaking his head slowly.
"Sorry, but I can't really afford to skip practice. I still have several pieces I need to choreograph and practice for the showcase."
"Are you sure?" Jaebum presses. "Come on, it will be fun. You practice everyday anyway, I'm sure missing one day won't hurt."
"Trust me, it will hurt," Jinyoung answers firmly as he makes his way to the corner of the room to begin his stretching. "Maybe you can go with someone else."
"None of my friends are interested in dance. That's why I'm asking you." Jaebum's perfectly stubborn when he wants to be as he thrusts the tickets back into Jinyoung's face.
"I can't go, Jaebum," Jinyoung grits out. "I need to practice."
"You practice so much already."
"There's people in my year who practice twice as much as me."
"But how hard can it be?" Jaebum retorts impatiently. "It's just dancing."
Jaebum realizes how careless and condescending his words sound after they leave his mouth and he regrets it immediately when he sees anger and pain flash across Jinyoung's face. The last thing he wants Jinyoung to think is that dancing is a trivial activity and the blood, sweat and tears Jaebum's seen him pour into his art is a waste. He knows Jinyoung's talented. Insecure, but so amazingly talented and Jaebum hates himself for making Jinyoung doubt that for even a second.
But it's too late.
"Oh, is that what people tell you?" Jinyoung spits out. "How hard can it be? Don't you just sit behind a camera? Fuck off Jaebum, if you're going to talk down about my major, you can go find someone else to film."
"Jinyoung, I"m sorry," Jaebum sighs. "I didn't mean it like that."
"You say a lot of things that you don't mean like that."
"And you take everything the wrong way," Jaebum suddenly snaps. "Can you for once stop thinking that everyone's insulting you? Maybe then you'll see just how talented you are? And that a lot of us appreciate your talents. You know what? Forget it. I was trying to do something nice for you but if you're just going to be an ass about it, fine, we can just do the usual practice."
Jinyoung flinches at Jaebum's equally harsh words and he doesn't know which part rings louder in his ear, the compliment or the criticism. He can feel goosebumps slowly rise over his skin. It's been almost a month since Jaebum came into his life and Jinyoung hasn't seen the other boy lose his temper even once despite all the attitude he throws Jaebum's way. He feels terrible, a gut wrenching feeling sloshing around in his stomach as Jinyoung watches Jaebum fiddle with his bag, shoving his camera inside.
"Actually, I'll just see you tomorrow. Not really in the mood to film anymore," Jaebum grumbles as he makes his way towards the door.
"Don't go," Jinyoung whispers. It's barely audible but he hopes Jaebum hears him. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. You're always so nice to me and you surprise me today with tickets to the performance and all I ever do is complain about how nothing is good enough. I understand if you don't want me in your film anymore."
Jinyoung pauses to take a deep breath.
"But before you back out, will you go to the performance with me? If you'll have me that is."
He looks up to give Jaebum a shaky smile and to his relief, Jaebum spins around to face him, answering his question with a soft curve of his own lips.
"Of course I'll have you."
Jaebum walks Jinyoung home after the performance, listening contently to Jinyoung's animated play by play of what happened. It's the first time Jaebum's heard Jinyoung talk this much, his words filled with excitement and his eyes crinkling whenever he brings up a specific move one of the dancers did. It's nice to see Jinyoung like this, Jaebum thinks, happy and passionate about dance, just like how it should be.
By the time they reach Jinyoung's dorm building, it's almost eleven at night, the surrounding area empty of students.
"I really appreciate the tickets," Jinyoung thanks Jaebum gratefully. The dim lights outside the building casts a nice glow around Jinyoung and Jaebum thinks the other boy looks absolutely beautiful. "I had a nice time. I hope you did too."
"It's no problem," Jaebum replies. "I liked seeing you smile. I mean, I like seeing you smile."
Jinyoung ducks his head and chuckles lightly, unsure of how to respond to Jaebum's comment. "Yeah well, see you tomorrow," he finally answers and turns to head into the building.
"Hey," Jaebum murmurs quietly as he catches Jinyoung's arm, thumb running softly over the protruding vein along his wrist. Jaebum thinks if he presses down hard enough, he can feel Jinyoung's pulse vibrate in his hand. "Can I kiss you?"
"Kiss me?" Jinyoung swallows hard, taken back that Jaebum would ask such a thing. He drops his head and runs his foot over the dark rugged concrete, Jaebum's overwhelming presence too much for him to handle. "Why would you want to do that?"
"Looks like you could use it," Jaebum whispers back as he reaches out his other hand and tilts up Jinyoung's face, two fingers placed lightly under his chin. Jinyoung's face is so close to his, Jaebum can count the individual eyelashes framing his eyes. "And because I really want to," he confesses the last line so quietly, Jinyoung almost doesn't hear him.
"Okay," Jinyoung nods, letting out a shaky breath he wasn't even aware he was holding. "Okay, you can kiss me."
So Jaebum does. He leans forward and covers Jinyoung's mouth with his own, coaxing him into their first kiss. It's short, but the way Jaebum's lips move against Jinyoung's own still manages to push all the oxygen out of the younger boy's lungs as he grabs a fistful of Jaebum's shirt to steady himself, enveloping himself into Jaebum's undeniable warmth.
"Good night," Jaebum smiles when he pulls away and rests his forehead against Jinyoung's. "See you tomorrow."
"Wait," Jinyoung calls out just as Jaebum's about to turn around and it's his turn to grab Jaebum's hand this time. "Kiss me again."
The three words echo repeatedly in Jaebum's ear and when he finally registers what Jinyoung has said, he breaks out into a stunning smile, pearly whites unbelievably radiant even in the darkness of the night. He pulls Jinyoung back in by the nape of his neck and kisses him harder this time, backing him up against the brick wall. And when Jinyoung gasps and parts his lips, Jaebum wastes no time in curling their tongues together.
Jinyoung's lips taste like intoxicating citrus mixed with hope and promises of forever that Jaebum doesn't think he can ever stop.
It's hard to not get distracted from practice once Jaebum starts being a permanent in Jinyoung's life. Jaebum is completely the opposite of Jinyoung, but maybe that's why they work, completing each other like pieces in a puzzle.
Jaebum loves to explore, never able to sit still for more than an hour, always dragging Jinyoung out at all hours of the day despite his protests of needing to practice.
"I think you're a bad influence on me," Jinyoung jokes one day when they're tangled on his tiny dorm bed listening to music because Jaebum's too lazy to walk back to his off campus apartment.
"Please, I'm a good influence," Jaebum snorts as he buries his head into the crook of Jinyoung's neck. "I'm teaching you how to balance work and play."
"Play."
"Yes, play," Jaebum repeats and attacks Jinyoung into the mattress, kissing him senseless.
It's a welcoming distraction, Jinyoung thinks, because it's Jaebum who calms him down when he's having yet another meltdown at practice, it's Jaebum who reminds him that he needs to eat and sleep in order to actually have enough energy to dance, and it's Jaebum who soothes all his anxiety away with feather like kisses placed gently on his forehead.
Jaebum's the constant in Jinyoung's life that's filled with uncertainty and Jinyoung couldn't be more glad to have him there.
Jaebum invites Jinyoung to come over to his apartment a couple weeks later, telling him that the beginning few minutes of the film is done and edited and if he wants to take a look. Jinyoung graciously accepts the invitation and skips practice for the night without beating himself up over it, arriving at Jaebum's doorstep promptly at eight.
"Hey," Jaebum greets him when he opens the door, giving Jinyoung a quick peck on the lips. "Come in."
Jinyoung turns a light shade of dusty pink as he follows Jaebum inside, toeing off his shoes at the door. Jaebum's apartment is small, but clean and cozy, the living room containing a simple sofa, coffee table and TV.
"You live here alone?" Jinyoung asks as he looks around, taking in his surroundings.
"Nah, I have a roommate. His name's Jackson, but he's been holed up in the sound studios all week for a project. He's a music production major."
"Sounds better than the pretentious art majors I had to live with."
"Yeah well, no one likes the art majors," Jaebum rolls his eyes. "You want something to drink?"
"Just water is fine."
Jaebum heads over to the connecting kitchen, taking out a water filter from the fridge and pouring a glass to the brim. He walks back over to Jinyoung and leans in half way, waiting expectantly. Butterflies easily find their way into Jinyoung's stomach as he meets Jaebum in the middle, touching their lips and he can feel Jaebum grinning into the kiss. Jaebum's lips feel soft and plump, sliding deliciously against his own. When they finally pull apart, Jinyoung's left breathless and Jaebum drops the glass into his hand.
"Sit, let me show you what I have so far."
Jaebum disappears into his room, emerging a few seconds later with his laptop. He settles down next to Jinyoung on the couch, pulling up his movie editing program and pressing the play button. The introduction is a fast paced minute of random cuts of Jinyoung dancing with a heavy staccato beat looped in the background.
"Wow, that was really good," Jinyoung gapes at the screen when it's finished. "You're really talented. Maybe you can film my real dance reel."
"Sure, but that might have to wait until my thesis is done," Jaebum laughs.
Jinyoung's heart does a weird flip in his chest at the melodic sound and he's suddenly aware of how close Jaebum is, burning from his body heat. Jinyoung leans forward and captures Jaebum's mouth in a kiss, which the other boy eagerly reponds to.
Jaebum ends up pinning Jinyoung down on the couch, hands boldly roaming down Jinyoung's torso before he finally slips his fingertips underneath his shirt. He grazes his nails further down until he's teasingly toying with the band of Jinyoung's boxers.
"Wait," Jinyoung gasps as he surfaces for air, lips red and swollen.
"Sorry," Jaebum apologizes. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."
"No, it's not that. It's just-bed," Jinyoung simply points past Jaebum towards the general direction of the bedroom.
"Are you sure?" Jaebum asks nervously and Jinyoung nods.
Jaebum drags Jinyoung forward by the magnetic pull of their lips and leads him towards the bedroom, their mouths never once disconnecting. Jaebum only moves away long enough to pull Jinyoung's flimsy t-shirt over his head. Jinyoung lands with a soft thud on Jaebum's mattress, the older boy hovering over him, ghosting his lips across the smooth expanse of Jinyoung's lean muscles, exploring and mapping out every inch, every curve, every line. It's Jinyoung's turn this time now to bury his fingers underneath Jaebum's shirt, seeking warmth and comfort and everything that Jaebum could possibly give.
It's overwhelming the way Jaebum stares down at him, eyes so full of genuine love and sincerity that Jinyoung has to shut his own eyes to calm his erratically beating heart. Jaebum leans down to kiss him with so much passion, as if the only way to breathe is through him, and Jinyoung thinks this must be the explosive feeling books and moves write about.
Jaebum rocks into Jinyoung nice and slow that night, giving him the most pleasure possible until the other boy is a writhing mess underneath him, their bodies twisting in such perfect harmony, movements more beautiful than anything Jinyoung could ever choreograph. Breathy whispers of fuck spill out of Jinyoung's mouth uncontrollably and Jaebum swallows it all including the throaty moan that the younger boy lets out when he reaches his orgasm.
When they're drifting off to sleep that night, Jaebum wrapped tightly and safely around him, Jinyoung wonders how he managed to get so lucky to have Jaebum stumble into his life without any intentions of ever leaving. He reaches out a hand to caress Jaebum's face, making sure he's not dreaming and that the boy lying next to him is actually real. Jaebum stirs in his sleep and Jinyoung snatches his hand back, breathing ragged and yes, Jaebum's real, this feeling is real, everything is real and raw and perfect.
Jinyoung didn't think he could love anything as much as dancing until Jaebum came into his life.
It's snowing by the time the fall semester draws to a close, pretty white diamonds covering the city in a layer of white. Jinyoung has been a nervous wreck for the past week, stressing over his showcase, asking Jaebum over and over if he'll be there until eventually Jaebum had to shut him up in the form of kisses, reassuring Jinyoung that he wouldn't miss it for the world.
The day of the showcase, Jaebum finds Jinyoung backstage a few minutes before the performance is due to start.
"You aren't supposed to be here," Jinyoung chides when he spots Jaebum's head poking in around the dressing room door.
"Well I just want to let you know that I'll be proud of you no matter what."
"You're sweet," Jinyoung blushes as he gives Jaebum a quick kiss. "I'll look for you when I'm on stage."
A good number of students perform before it's Jinyoung's turn and by the time he takes the stage, Jaebum's already super restless in his seat. Jinyoung looks good, his silhouette outlined in a simple pair of red converses, fitted jeans and white v-neck. A single spotlight shines down on him as the music begins to play, the same song that Jaebum had spent over an hour filming him practice on the very first day. The choreography is still the same, but there's something different about the way Jinyoung moves this time, more liberating, conscious and passionate.
Jinyoung had put together a breathtaking ten minute routine with a nice variety of songs, some fast, some slow, that has the audience cheering on their feet by the time he hits his final pose at the end.
Jaebum keeps his distance when he goes to find Jinyoung after the performance, letting his parents, friends and fellow classmates crowd around him first. Jaebum knows he doesn't have to be caught in between all of them for Jinyoung to notice him. Jinyoung's practically glowing as he gets showered by compliments and flowers and Jaebum's chest rises with a sense of pride.
"Hey," Jinyoung's eyes crinkle up around the edges when he finally catches spots Jaebum and rushes over.
"Congrats babe," Jaebum kisses Jinyoung as he hands over his own bouquet of flowers. "You were amazing. Definitely the best one."
"You're not saying that cause you're biased?" Jinyoung jokes.
"Well maybe I am. Anyways, can I take you out to dinner? I made reservations at that sushi restaurant you've been wanting to try."
"Sure, but come meet my parents first?"
Before Jaebum can protest, Jinyoung already has a tight grip around his hand, dragging him towards the exit where his parents are waiting. Jinyoung didn't warn him that it was meet the parents day. Jaebum thanks his lucky stars he's at least dressed semi-formally for the event.
"Mom, Dad, this is Jaebum. My boyfriend," Jinyoung announces proudly.
Jaebum's breath catches for a moment before he extends a nervous hand. They've been official for awhile now, but he still gets flustered whenever Jinyoung refers to him as his boyfriend, especially in front of his parents no less.
"Oh, Jaebum!" Jinyoung's mom gushes as she clasps his hand. "It's so wonderful to finally meet you."
"Pleasure's all mine, Mr. and Mrs. Park," Jaebum bows politely. "Your son's really talented."
"And we have you to thank for that. Jinyoung's told us so much about how you brought the joy back in dancing for him."
Jaebum looks at Jinyoung out of his peripheral vision and the other boy turns away, embarrassed.
"Well, as long as Jinyoung's happy, I'm happy."
Jinyoung beams in response.
Jinyoung was ten years old when he thought there was nothing better in this world than dancing. He was ten years old when he first fell in love, with the art created by mere body movements brought to life under bright stage lights. Jinyoung's twenty now and he still thinks there's nothing better in this world than dancing except for a boy with an infectious smile and a heart made out of gold. Jinyoung's twenty now and he doesn't think he will ever love anything or anyone harder than he loves Im Jaebum.
Jinyoung's dance pieces inspired by Brian Puspos's choreo to Chris Brown's Wet The Bed and Kyle Hanagami's choreo to Mike Posner's Falling.