my mom is sending me my pilates video...

i really hate this feeling. the feeling that if i was just thinner then my boyfriend would actually pay attention to me. all he does all day is play FUCKING WORLD OF FUCKING WARCRAFT! he doesnt even notice where i go, when i leave the room...when i drink my weight in water and dont eat a thing. he takes for granted that i cook for him and bring him ( Read more... )

ok, so i just bought a new scale today, and i was really scared to weigh myself, cause...well, i havent in a long time, and i had just drank 32oz of water, and im about to get on my period (i always weigh more then) but i did it anyway, and i found out how much i weigh, for real ( Read more... )

alright, so this morning i was woken up by the fact that we were showing the house today (trying to sell it) so we all went to Denny's (FUCK!) but all i had was water, and i tiny bite of my mans pancake, cause he was like "this is SO GOOOD, eat it!" and he knows that i have had food problems, so i didnt want to not and make him angry...so i had a ( Read more... )

So tomorrow i am going to eat an apple and a salad, and THATS it, well, plus some coffee and at least 4 32 oz things of water. i WILL find a scale and post my weight, i WILL do my 50 minute yoga video, i WILL go for a bike ride or walk for at least 30 minutes ( Read more... )

well...ive been off of here for a while, and i think without all the support, i gained, i was at 124 at my smallest, and im at like 138 now, but not so sure, cant find the scale(damnit) and i think tomorrow i shall go buy a new one anyway...starting a F and V fast this whole week, going back to being vegitatarian (well, after i eat my 150 cal lean ( Read more... )

fell so far once again, but im coming back, i think.

reading everything you all have written has started me eating about one half of what ive been lately.

which is still 3 times what my 124 lb self ate. cant beleive i fucked up so bad.

so i was able to fast until 8pm that night, like iwanted to, but once i was done, i ate some chips, 2 crazy bread, adn 12 rollos. it could have been worse, but it was pretty bad ( Read more... )

so...yesterday ( Read more... )

ok...so i am back again, and this time i am serious. i have actaully gotten up to 159lbs before i realized how far i had fallen, but this week, i got down to 152, and i am going strong ( Read more... )