question

[defensiveeskimo]

i know this guy whose got this girl on his mind for a long, long time. 
i suggested he call her and tell her his feelings, but he was told that when discussed with other people (mostly female) it was best to not call or confess. 
this is mainly so that he wouldn't put her on the spot and have her reject him therefor sacrificing any relation/

Comments

[watchreader]

Confession is not the same thing as asking someone out. I've found that things are a lot less awkward if I just say what I feel. It's something that worked really well with Sarah back in freshman year. I just said something like "look, I can understand if this is uncomfortable and it'll probably make things awkward, but I have a huge crush on you. I can give you distance if you think you need it, but I want you to know and be comfortable with it. When you're ok with it, talk to me." She didn't say anything for awhile, but a few weeks later she started talking to me again, and things have been fine (although not romantic) between us since.

[pinfx]

Has he tried dating? Usually that works pretty well.

[ellybelly]

it depends on the girl. some girls are just lost causes and you just have to "be there for her," until she's ready. I think he'll know when she's ready and when it's okay to make a move. I have a friend who has been close to this one girl for years and recently asked her out, but she rejected him. Now, they are still friends, but he feels as if he can't continue their friendship because he still harbors feelings for her.

goodluck to your friend! :)

it happened to me recently

[lisamariesi]

Hey,

I just had a guy tell me directly how he felt. And in some ways it was good, because it made feel really good. He was really drunk, so it was actually really overwhelming. And while I'm a person who appreciates directness, the fact that he could only talk to me drunk was a big turn off.
So as long as your friend doesn't overwhelm this chick.