Real life rantage of a relationship-y sort. And no, not mine. :P
I have to rant here, because there is not enough space on my Facebook and this is seriously a long pissy one, so if you're gonna bother to read, better get comfy.
Dear Jerky McJerkface, Ph.D in Jerkology and General Assholeism:
Your ex-girlfriend is one of the closest friends I have. She's almost like a sister to me. We've been through a lot together and even though a year and a half of college, with the two of us at different universities, has gone by, we're still as close as ever. That goes too for the rest of this amazing lady's friends. We're all a tight-knit bunch, and we all think the world of each other.
So, of course, we are going to disapprove of your decision to break up with her and get together with a boring less awesome infuriatingly sane dull different girl. We are not going to tell you that we give you our blessing to date someone else barely a month after breaking up with our friend. We are going to be pissed on her behalf, and we are going to tell you that your new girlfriend sucks and that you will never again do better than our friend.
If you honestly expected us to be perfectly okay with your callous dumpage, you must have been dropped on your head as a baby one too many times.
Eventually, as your ex-girlfriend began to recover from your breakup, we would have also stopped being mad at you. See, I don't know if you know this, but it's general courtesy to be mad at a friend's ex only so long as that friend is mad. And seeing as you expressed your intent to retain the close friendship you two had before you got together, we all thought the drama would be over soon enough.
But then, you decided to play a chick-flick card and send my friend freaking mixed signals. You call her on what was supposed to have been your anniversary, and generally act as though you haven't broken up. That's not on, Mr. McJerkface. That is so not on.
See, you, being a jerk, probably did know this but took advantage of it anyway, but my friend still had slight feelings for you, even after you broke up with her, and she's going to be confused by this sudden attention and maybe think that there's a chance that you two will get back together.
And then you crush her hopes by continuously posting updates on your Facebook about your brand new relationship.
Not only is it extremely cheap to put declarations of love on your Facebook wall, it is also highly insensitive, considering you and my friend are friends on Facebook and she will most likely see this. Honestly? The impression I--and it's not just me, mind your fucking face--got was that you were intentionally posting these updates to spite my friend. It certainly seemed that way.
And then you whine and complain and blather when she confronts you about it.
And when other people start agreeing with my friend, saying that it was in extremely poor taste for you to flaunt your new girlfriend in the face of your old one, who still has feelings for you, by the way, and who you've repeatedly said you'd like to stay friends with, YOU FREAKING DELETE THEM FROM YOUR FACEBOOK?
Talk about an epic flounce.
You, Jerky McJerkface, deleted your ex-girlfriend and most of her friends who agreed with her on this issue from your Facebook because you, apparently, cannot take it as well as you can dish it out.
Whatever happened to "I still love her and still want her in my life"? Or was that just a fallacy to make you feel better about yourself?
Also, I just remembered--due to your wooage and whatnot, you haven't texted or talked to two of your very good friends, one of whom also happens to be a very dear friend of mine. And the first time you contact them in a long while, it's so that you can ask for load? SHAMELESS BASTARD. Ang kapal ng mukha mo.
Rot in hell, you son of a bitch.
Rot. In. Hell.
Dear Jerky McJerkface, Ph.D in Jerkology and General Assholeism:
Your ex-girlfriend is one of the closest friends I have. She's almost like a sister to me. We've been through a lot together and even though a year and a half of college, with the two of us at different universities, has gone by, we're still as close as ever. That goes too for the rest of this amazing lady's friends. We're all a tight-knit bunch, and we all think the world of each other.
So, of course, we are going to disapprove of your decision to break up with her and get together with a boring less awesome infuriatingly sane dull different girl. We are not going to tell you that we give you our blessing to date someone else barely a month after breaking up with our friend. We are going to be pissed on her behalf, and we are going to tell you that your new girlfriend sucks and that you will never again do better than our friend.
If you honestly expected us to be perfectly okay with your callous dumpage, you must have been dropped on your head as a baby one too many times.
Eventually, as your ex-girlfriend began to recover from your breakup, we would have also stopped being mad at you. See, I don't know if you know this, but it's general courtesy to be mad at a friend's ex only so long as that friend is mad. And seeing as you expressed your intent to retain the close friendship you two had before you got together, we all thought the drama would be over soon enough.
But then, you decided to play a chick-flick card and send my friend freaking mixed signals. You call her on what was supposed to have been your anniversary, and generally act as though you haven't broken up. That's not on, Mr. McJerkface. That is so not on.
See, you, being a jerk, probably did know this but took advantage of it anyway, but my friend still had slight feelings for you, even after you broke up with her, and she's going to be confused by this sudden attention and maybe think that there's a chance that you two will get back together.
And then you crush her hopes by continuously posting updates on your Facebook about your brand new relationship.
Not only is it extremely cheap to put declarations of love on your Facebook wall, it is also highly insensitive, considering you and my friend are friends on Facebook and she will most likely see this. Honestly? The impression I--and it's not just me, mind your fucking face--got was that you were intentionally posting these updates to spite my friend. It certainly seemed that way.
And then you whine and complain and blather when she confronts you about it.
And when other people start agreeing with my friend, saying that it was in extremely poor taste for you to flaunt your new girlfriend in the face of your old one, who still has feelings for you, by the way, and who you've repeatedly said you'd like to stay friends with, YOU FREAKING DELETE THEM FROM YOUR FACEBOOK?
Talk about an epic flounce.
You, Jerky McJerkface, deleted your ex-girlfriend and most of her friends who agreed with her on this issue from your Facebook because you, apparently, cannot take it as well as you can dish it out.
Whatever happened to "I still love her and still want her in my life"? Or was that just a fallacy to make you feel better about yourself?
Also, I just remembered--due to your wooage and whatnot, you haven't texted or talked to two of your very good friends, one of whom also happens to be a very dear friend of mine. And the first time you contact them in a long while, it's so that you can ask for load? SHAMELESS BASTARD. Ang kapal ng mukha mo.
Rot in hell, you son of a bitch.
Rot. In. Hell.