Fic: Harry Potter; G; McGonagall Monologues
Title: Sid
Author: mariana_oconnor
Rating: G
Pairings: None
Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Professor Minerva McGonagall.
Spoilers: small ones for Deathly Hallows
Era: MWPP
Disclaimer: J K Rowling owns Sirius, James and Professor McGonagall. I merely own my fic, and I'm not getting any money from them.
Summary: The boys find themselves back in Professor McGonagall's Office.
Author's Note: The second fic in my 'McGonagall Monologues'. The first being What Happened This Time?.
Mr Potter! Mr Black! My office… Now, Mr Black!
That two members of my house should have… I am highly disappointed in both of you.
You had better be able to explain, Mr Black.
A falling wardrobe?
A flying wardrobe?
Yes, Mr Black, I am fully aware that there is a charm which could do that… there are, in fact, several, and a number of transfigurations which would have the same effect. I am, however, unable to see why anyone would wish to use one of those methods to make a large piece of mahogany furniture pursue you around the dungeon.
I was wondering when Mr Snape’s name would come up. What terrible ordeal did you subject him to this time that caused him to think up such a punishment?
Mr Black, unlike much of the teaching population of this school I am well able to see past your looks of contrived innocence.
Don’t bother to look injured Mr Potter… please turn out your pockets.
I am your head of house; this is not an infringement of your civil liberties.
Mr Black, if you do not turn out your pockets in thirty seconds I will be forced to remove twenty points from Gryffindor.
I do not like taking points from my own house, Mr Black.
Two galleons, fourteen knuts, five dung bombs and a lizard? The dungbombs are confiscated and I suggest you return the poor reptile whence it came.
Now the other one…
… I’m waiting.
A rock? Stop laughing, Mr Potter.
Why, tell me, do you have a rock named Sid in your pocket?”
A pet rock… not content with the lizard and your owl?
I am sure Sid is a great conversationalist. Are you confident that he is not, perhaps, hiding something?
Maybe inanimate objects do find it difficult to keep secrets, but students do not.
You seem a little pale, Mr Black… Is there something you would like to say?
Mr Potter?
…
No? Then if I were to perform a reverse transfiguration on Sid here neither of you believes anything would happen?
Gentlemen, volumes could be written about the contents of your silence.
Reverso Incantatem
How unexpected! Does either of you recognise this book?
Maybe it would help if we were to look inside.
‘To Sev, Happy 16th, hope you have a wonderful day, Lily.’ It would appear that this book belongs to Mr Snape. The very same person who enchanted a large wardrobe to attack you. What an improbable coincidence.
Indeed Mr Potter. Has either of you any idea how it could possibly have ended up as a stone in Mr Black’s pocket?
A case of mistaken identity?
I’m sure that wherever Sid is, if he does, in fact, exist, he is perfectly happy and in no immediate danger.
Mr Potter, do you not find it more likely that Mr Black merely mislaid his rock?
Calling in the aurors for a case of unsubstantiated and unlikely rocknapping seems a little extreme.
Mr Potter, please calm Mr Black down.
If you could just stop him from wailing it might be helpful.
Mr Black, if you do not cease your catawauling immediately you will be in detention for the next two weeks…
… and banned from watching Saturday’s quidditch game.
Thank you.
Two points from Gryffindor for each of the dungbombs, ten from Mr Black for stealing the possession of another student, ten from Mr Potter for helping him and ten points from Gryffindor for magic outside of the classroom.
I shall return it to Mr Snape.
No, I don't believe a poster campaign would be a good idea. I'm sure Sid will find his own way back.
Then you shall have to wait for a ransome note.
Oh… and, Mr Potter.
Impressive transfiguration.
-
Author: mariana_oconnor
Rating: G
Pairings: None
Characters: James Potter, Sirius Black, Professor Minerva McGonagall.
Spoilers: small ones for Deathly Hallows
Era: MWPP
Disclaimer: J K Rowling owns Sirius, James and Professor McGonagall. I merely own my fic, and I'm not getting any money from them.
Summary: The boys find themselves back in Professor McGonagall's Office.
Author's Note: The second fic in my 'McGonagall Monologues'. The first being What Happened This Time?.
Mr Potter! Mr Black! My office… Now, Mr Black!
That two members of my house should have… I am highly disappointed in both of you.
You had better be able to explain, Mr Black.
A falling wardrobe?
A flying wardrobe?
Yes, Mr Black, I am fully aware that there is a charm which could do that… there are, in fact, several, and a number of transfigurations which would have the same effect. I am, however, unable to see why anyone would wish to use one of those methods to make a large piece of mahogany furniture pursue you around the dungeon.
I was wondering when Mr Snape’s name would come up. What terrible ordeal did you subject him to this time that caused him to think up such a punishment?
Mr Black, unlike much of the teaching population of this school I am well able to see past your looks of contrived innocence.
Don’t bother to look injured Mr Potter… please turn out your pockets.
I am your head of house; this is not an infringement of your civil liberties.
Mr Black, if you do not turn out your pockets in thirty seconds I will be forced to remove twenty points from Gryffindor.
I do not like taking points from my own house, Mr Black.
Two galleons, fourteen knuts, five dung bombs and a lizard? The dungbombs are confiscated and I suggest you return the poor reptile whence it came.
Now the other one…
… I’m waiting.
A rock? Stop laughing, Mr Potter.
Why, tell me, do you have a rock named Sid in your pocket?”
A pet rock… not content with the lizard and your owl?
I am sure Sid is a great conversationalist. Are you confident that he is not, perhaps, hiding something?
Maybe inanimate objects do find it difficult to keep secrets, but students do not.
You seem a little pale, Mr Black… Is there something you would like to say?
Mr Potter?
…
No? Then if I were to perform a reverse transfiguration on Sid here neither of you believes anything would happen?
Gentlemen, volumes could be written about the contents of your silence.
Reverso Incantatem
How unexpected! Does either of you recognise this book?
Maybe it would help if we were to look inside.
‘To Sev, Happy 16th, hope you have a wonderful day, Lily.’ It would appear that this book belongs to Mr Snape. The very same person who enchanted a large wardrobe to attack you. What an improbable coincidence.
Indeed Mr Potter. Has either of you any idea how it could possibly have ended up as a stone in Mr Black’s pocket?
A case of mistaken identity?
I’m sure that wherever Sid is, if he does, in fact, exist, he is perfectly happy and in no immediate danger.
Mr Potter, do you not find it more likely that Mr Black merely mislaid his rock?
Calling in the aurors for a case of unsubstantiated and unlikely rocknapping seems a little extreme.
Mr Potter, please calm Mr Black down.
If you could just stop him from wailing it might be helpful.
Mr Black, if you do not cease your catawauling immediately you will be in detention for the next two weeks…
… and banned from watching Saturday’s quidditch game.
Thank you.
Two points from Gryffindor for each of the dungbombs, ten from Mr Black for stealing the possession of another student, ten from Mr Potter for helping him and ten points from Gryffindor for magic outside of the classroom.
I shall return it to Mr Snape.
No, I don't believe a poster campaign would be a good idea. I'm sure Sid will find his own way back.
Then you shall have to wait for a ransome note.
Oh… and, Mr Potter.
Impressive transfiguration.
-