"Enigma (4/16)" - Hobbs/Raydor Fic
Title: Enigma (4/16)
Co-author: sharon_ray
Pairing: Hobbs/Raydor
Rating: T
Word Count: 2, 156
Disclaimer: Not our characters or television show
Summary: Sharon and Andrea's relationship has been balanced on the precipice of friendship and something more for longer than either of them care to admit. Will the ever-present danger of their jobs finally push them over that fine line? Or will it pull them apart?
A/N: Fic starts out in season seven of The Closer, and follows the events (we've taken some liberties of course) of Major Crimes. This fic is complete and chapters will be posted on a weekly basis. On ff.net: Enigma.
Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3,
(graphic made by me with my own screencaps and those taken with permission from MajorCrimesTV.net. Please do not take or re-post.)
Sharon watched the rise and fall of Andrea’s chest as they lay in bed. At some point in the night, they had separated and Andrea now lay on her back with her face turned towards Sharon. One of her hands rested against Sharon’s thigh; even after she’d repositioned, it was clear that she still wanted to be in contact with Sharon. Sharon had barely slept all evening. Her mind had raced through the entire LAPD rulebook, and while there was no rule restricting officers from becoming romantically involved with staff from the DA’s office, she couldn’t help but stumble over the inevitable fact that they were co-workers, not to mention, friends. Romance complicated everything. Sex complicates everything, her mind reminded her; they’d had sex last night. Delicious, fabulous, fulfilling sex, that didn’t automatically mean that they were romantically involved, right?
Andrea stirred in her sleep and rolled over, swinging an arm over Sharon’s torso again. Andrea sighed against Sharon’s shoulder and she caressed Sharon’s stomach in her sleep.
Sharon bit her lip to prevent herself from groaning out loud in frustration. How the hell were they going to move forward? Did Andrea want a relationship? Did she want sex? Did she just want sex last night? Did Sharon even want any of those things? Obviously she had wanted sex last night, but what now?
It had been some time since she’d been involved with a woman, she’d forgotten how complicated these negotiations could be sometimes. Men were easier in a way; she didn’t have many single, straight male friends, so there was no risk in getting involved with a man who was previously her friend. The risk of getting involved with a woman who was previously her friend; now that was an issue, and one that she had just gotten herself tangled up in. Andrea wasn’t easy, she was complicated, unpredictable, messy; it frustrated Sharon just to think about it. Sharon winced as she felt Andrea’s grip on her torso tighten; all she wanted right now was to be out of bed and away from Andrea. She needed to get back to her house and get dressed for work or she was going to be late.
Feeling her tense up, Andrea finally stirred more firmly against Sharon and opened her eyes. “Good morning.” She smiled against Sharon’s shoulder and she brushed her lips against the skin in a soft kiss.
“Good morning,” Sharon managed to mutter stiffly, not daring to make eye contact with Andrea as the younger woman looked up at her. As hard as it was to watch Andrea sleep, Sharon was finding out quickly that she preferred it to Andrea being awake. She had no words; she didn’t know how to fix this, whatever it was. She just had the overwhelming need to leave.
“I was granted the day off, so you may use the shower first if you like. I’m in no rush,” Andrea said as she stretched and propped her head up on a bent arm. “Or we can share it. I’ll make it worth your while,” she purred. Andrea swept her hand across Sharon’s stomach again, but she felt Sharon tense up in response. She pulled her hand away and surveyed the nervous frown on Sharon’s face, the rigid posture of Sharon’s whole body. And then it clicked.
“I really think I should just shower at home, Andrea,” Sharon said carefully, pulling the covers back so she could get out of bed, “I’ve got to be at work in a little while and I’m going to be late if I don’t leave now.” Sharon knew Andrea could see through the excuses.
“Is that really why you’re so anxious to get out of my bed?” Andrea asked softly. “Last night you couldn’t get me in here fast enough, and now...?” she trailed off, unsure how to even phrase how she was feeling.
Sharon sat up in the bed, hugging her bent legs under her chin. “Andrea, last night...I don’t regret it. Being with you was, it was incredible. I just don’t know where we go from here,” she said honestly. “We work together, we’re friends, since when did we ever want something other than what we had? I’m just...reluctant to redefine this.” Sharon looked at her in the eyes for the first time. “My friendship with you is so important to me Andrea, please know that. And our dynamic at work is so important to me too. Is all of that worth potentially sacrificing just for sex?”
“Our friendship is important to me too, Sharon,” she said, “but is it necessarily a bad thing if we redefine it?” It stung to hear Sharon refer to what they’d shared the night before as just sex. Granted, they’d been a bit blinded by passion, by the heat of the moment. They had neglected to have any sort of meaningful conversation, in which they had been able to define what had happened between them. But she could have sworn that they had shared something deeper, especially because of how right things had felt when she’d fallen asleep in Sharon’s arms.
Sharon ran her hands through her messy curls frustratedly. “I don’t know Andrea, all I know is that we run an equal chance of ruining what we have as we do making it better. Is that a risk you want to take?”
“Is it a risk you’re willing to take?” Andrea asked.
Sharon took in Andrea’s appearance. Her hair was a riot from their tryst the night before, she wore no make-up so the slight bruise on her cheek was still visible, as were the countless scratches and bite marks across her arms, shoulders, and neck. The bite marks she had placed there, last night, in a fit of passion, of need, of desire for Andrea. But most noticeable of all, was the raw vulnerability in Andrea’s eyes.
Sharon was at a loss for words.
“You don’t take risks,” Andrea stated quietly, answering her own question.
Sharon shook her head solemnly, “I don’t. You know me too well,” she chuckled sadly.
Andrea regarded her seriously. “So where does that leave us then? What do we chalk last night up to? Tension? Fear? Stress?”
“You almost died yesterday. I needed to see you after work, I wanted to talk to you at work but I couldn’t...I just couldn’t. I knew that as soon as I approached you I was going to lose it. You’re a beautiful woman Andrea, I won’t lie, you’ve always been so, so beautiful to me,” Sharon said. “I guess...I guess I needed to see you so badly, I needed to make sure you were okay and maybe I let my appreciation of you get the better of me.”
Appreciation. That’s all it had been, Sharon’s appreciation of her getting in the way. Andrea’s face burned hotly with anger and embarrassment; she’d been foolish to think Sharon could have honestly wanted anything else with her.
“I don’t want to lose you as my friend,” Sharon said quietly. “And I don’t want to sacrifice what we have at work either," she repeated.
Andrea sat up in bed and reached for a t-shirt on her dresser. She suddenly felt the need to cover herself in front of Sharon; anything to put a barrier between them. “I don’t want to lose you as my friend, either,” she muttered, the disappointment obvious in her voice. I didn’t want to lose you as my lover either though, she thought.
Sharon sighed as she watched Andrea dress herself. If this was what she wanted, why did it feel so terrible? “I think... I know, that right now I cannot do anything but be your friend, Andrea. But I don’t want to lose that. I can’t lose that. I’m so sorry if I led you on, or hurt you in any way. Please know that it was never my intention to do that.” There was a desperation in Sharon’s voice that Andrea had never heard before.
“You won’t lose that,” Andrea said, sighing. She meant it, she really did; she didn’t want to lose the companionship that she’d come to treasure so dearly. Surely they could get back to the easy friendship they once had, right? “I can’t promise that things won’t be, awkward, for a bit, but...” she shrugged, blushing deeply. “I’m going to need some space,” she said.
Sharon nodded and crossed her arms over her chest as she made her way out of Andrea’s bed to collect her clothes, which were still scattered haphazardly down the hallway. “I think that’s a fair compromise... I don’t know how to work this out from here, but I know that I’d like to. And I understand that it may take us some time to...” Sharon trailed off, unsure of exactly what she wanted to say. “To... recover, I guess, from last night. And I know that you’re probably pissed at me for...” she trailed off, shrugging.
Andrea avoided Sharon’s gaze as she contemplated Sharon’s choice in words. “We’ll figure it out. Now, you should probably get home and get ready for work,” she sighed, trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible, given the circumstances. She really was ready for Sharon to be out of her house.
“Right...” Sharon muttered. She regarded Andrea one last time before she left the room to collect the rest of her things. She opted for getting dressed in the guest bathroom to give Andrea her space and only approached the master bedroom again when she was fully clad in her outfit from the night before.
“Well, I am going to go, Andrea,” she announced from the doorway, uncertain of whether Andrea wanted her in her bedroom again or not.
Andrea had pulled her pants back on and was fidgeting with the hem of her flannel bottoms. “I’ll walk you out,” she said awkwardly.
“Oh, okay,” Sharon said, surprised, still balanced in the doorway. Andrea raised an eyebrow at Sharon and waited for her to move. She was not going to touch her again. Sharon paused, then startled slightly as she caught the hint. She moved quickly, allowing Andrea to walk in front of her down the hallway.
Andrea dug Sharon’s jacket and purse out of her closet in the front of her home as Sharon stepped back into her heels. “Here you go,” she said as she offered them to Sharon.
Sharon took the items and smiled. “Thank you. Um, if you need anything, if you start to feel unwell or if the painkillers are making you dizzy-”
“I’ll be fine, thank you,” Andrea said coolly.
“Right, well, I’ll see you later?” Sharon reached out to embrace Andrea, but she felt the younger woman stiffen, so her embrace turned into an awkward arm pat. Sharon let her go quickly and hitched her purse over her shoulder, trying to hide the disappointment and sadness she knew were apparent on her face. She was the one who said they couldn’t be anything other than friends. She was responsible for this. Andrea was pissed at her, and she had every right to be. “Well, bye then,” Sharon muttered as she walked out the door, not bothering to look back at Andrea as she went. Andrea had made it clear she wanted to be left alone and she needed to allow her that.
Andrea watched from the front door as Sharon got into her car and pulled out of her driveway. She leaned against the doorframe as she watched her drive down the street. Andrea had not anticipated the last twenty-four hours to go as they had; she didn’t think Sharon would come over, she certainly hadn’t expected them to sleep together. She really didn’t expect Sharon to leave her. Her heart sank as Sharon’s car disappeared from her view. Andrea laughed darkly to herself as she dragged her body away from the door and back towards her bed. It was stupid of her to be surprised by Sharon’s decision. At the end of the day, remaining friends was the only sensible decision, and the only kind of decisions Rulebook Raydor ever made were sensible. Sharon didn’t take risks. She didn’t make decisions while being led by irrationality or random whims; that was part of what Andrea had always admired so much about her, though right now, she hated that quality.
Friends. That’s what Sharon wanted; friendship was safe, easy, and comfortable for her. It was what Andrea wanted too, truly; she couldn’t imagine not having Sharon in her life as a support both personally and professionally. She wasn’t sure if they could ever get back to the friendship they used to have, but surely, like all good things, it was worth fighting for? If not, Andrea was going to have to find a way to live without Sharon altogether.
Co-author: sharon_ray
Pairing: Hobbs/Raydor
Rating: T
Word Count: 2, 156
Disclaimer: Not our characters or television show
Summary: Sharon and Andrea's relationship has been balanced on the precipice of friendship and something more for longer than either of them care to admit. Will the ever-present danger of their jobs finally push them over that fine line? Or will it pull them apart?
A/N: Fic starts out in season seven of The Closer, and follows the events (we've taken some liberties of course) of Major Crimes. This fic is complete and chapters will be posted on a weekly basis. On ff.net: Enigma.
Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3,
(graphic made by me with my own screencaps and those taken with permission from MajorCrimesTV.net. Please do not take or re-post.)
Sharon watched the rise and fall of Andrea’s chest as they lay in bed. At some point in the night, they had separated and Andrea now lay on her back with her face turned towards Sharon. One of her hands rested against Sharon’s thigh; even after she’d repositioned, it was clear that she still wanted to be in contact with Sharon. Sharon had barely slept all evening. Her mind had raced through the entire LAPD rulebook, and while there was no rule restricting officers from becoming romantically involved with staff from the DA’s office, she couldn’t help but stumble over the inevitable fact that they were co-workers, not to mention, friends. Romance complicated everything. Sex complicates everything, her mind reminded her; they’d had sex last night. Delicious, fabulous, fulfilling sex, that didn’t automatically mean that they were romantically involved, right?
Andrea stirred in her sleep and rolled over, swinging an arm over Sharon’s torso again. Andrea sighed against Sharon’s shoulder and she caressed Sharon’s stomach in her sleep.
Sharon bit her lip to prevent herself from groaning out loud in frustration. How the hell were they going to move forward? Did Andrea want a relationship? Did she want sex? Did she just want sex last night? Did Sharon even want any of those things? Obviously she had wanted sex last night, but what now?
It had been some time since she’d been involved with a woman, she’d forgotten how complicated these negotiations could be sometimes. Men were easier in a way; she didn’t have many single, straight male friends, so there was no risk in getting involved with a man who was previously her friend. The risk of getting involved with a woman who was previously her friend; now that was an issue, and one that she had just gotten herself tangled up in. Andrea wasn’t easy, she was complicated, unpredictable, messy; it frustrated Sharon just to think about it. Sharon winced as she felt Andrea’s grip on her torso tighten; all she wanted right now was to be out of bed and away from Andrea. She needed to get back to her house and get dressed for work or she was going to be late.
Feeling her tense up, Andrea finally stirred more firmly against Sharon and opened her eyes. “Good morning.” She smiled against Sharon’s shoulder and she brushed her lips against the skin in a soft kiss.
“Good morning,” Sharon managed to mutter stiffly, not daring to make eye contact with Andrea as the younger woman looked up at her. As hard as it was to watch Andrea sleep, Sharon was finding out quickly that she preferred it to Andrea being awake. She had no words; she didn’t know how to fix this, whatever it was. She just had the overwhelming need to leave.
“I was granted the day off, so you may use the shower first if you like. I’m in no rush,” Andrea said as she stretched and propped her head up on a bent arm. “Or we can share it. I’ll make it worth your while,” she purred. Andrea swept her hand across Sharon’s stomach again, but she felt Sharon tense up in response. She pulled her hand away and surveyed the nervous frown on Sharon’s face, the rigid posture of Sharon’s whole body. And then it clicked.
“I really think I should just shower at home, Andrea,” Sharon said carefully, pulling the covers back so she could get out of bed, “I’ve got to be at work in a little while and I’m going to be late if I don’t leave now.” Sharon knew Andrea could see through the excuses.
“Is that really why you’re so anxious to get out of my bed?” Andrea asked softly. “Last night you couldn’t get me in here fast enough, and now...?” she trailed off, unsure how to even phrase how she was feeling.
Sharon sat up in the bed, hugging her bent legs under her chin. “Andrea, last night...I don’t regret it. Being with you was, it was incredible. I just don’t know where we go from here,” she said honestly. “We work together, we’re friends, since when did we ever want something other than what we had? I’m just...reluctant to redefine this.” Sharon looked at her in the eyes for the first time. “My friendship with you is so important to me Andrea, please know that. And our dynamic at work is so important to me too. Is all of that worth potentially sacrificing just for sex?”
“Our friendship is important to me too, Sharon,” she said, “but is it necessarily a bad thing if we redefine it?” It stung to hear Sharon refer to what they’d shared the night before as just sex. Granted, they’d been a bit blinded by passion, by the heat of the moment. They had neglected to have any sort of meaningful conversation, in which they had been able to define what had happened between them. But she could have sworn that they had shared something deeper, especially because of how right things had felt when she’d fallen asleep in Sharon’s arms.
Sharon ran her hands through her messy curls frustratedly. “I don’t know Andrea, all I know is that we run an equal chance of ruining what we have as we do making it better. Is that a risk you want to take?”
“Is it a risk you’re willing to take?” Andrea asked.
Sharon took in Andrea’s appearance. Her hair was a riot from their tryst the night before, she wore no make-up so the slight bruise on her cheek was still visible, as were the countless scratches and bite marks across her arms, shoulders, and neck. The bite marks she had placed there, last night, in a fit of passion, of need, of desire for Andrea. But most noticeable of all, was the raw vulnerability in Andrea’s eyes.
Sharon was at a loss for words.
“You don’t take risks,” Andrea stated quietly, answering her own question.
Sharon shook her head solemnly, “I don’t. You know me too well,” she chuckled sadly.
Andrea regarded her seriously. “So where does that leave us then? What do we chalk last night up to? Tension? Fear? Stress?”
“You almost died yesterday. I needed to see you after work, I wanted to talk to you at work but I couldn’t...I just couldn’t. I knew that as soon as I approached you I was going to lose it. You’re a beautiful woman Andrea, I won’t lie, you’ve always been so, so beautiful to me,” Sharon said. “I guess...I guess I needed to see you so badly, I needed to make sure you were okay and maybe I let my appreciation of you get the better of me.”
Appreciation. That’s all it had been, Sharon’s appreciation of her getting in the way. Andrea’s face burned hotly with anger and embarrassment; she’d been foolish to think Sharon could have honestly wanted anything else with her.
“I don’t want to lose you as my friend,” Sharon said quietly. “And I don’t want to sacrifice what we have at work either," she repeated.
Andrea sat up in bed and reached for a t-shirt on her dresser. She suddenly felt the need to cover herself in front of Sharon; anything to put a barrier between them. “I don’t want to lose you as my friend, either,” she muttered, the disappointment obvious in her voice. I didn’t want to lose you as my lover either though, she thought.
Sharon sighed as she watched Andrea dress herself. If this was what she wanted, why did it feel so terrible? “I think... I know, that right now I cannot do anything but be your friend, Andrea. But I don’t want to lose that. I can’t lose that. I’m so sorry if I led you on, or hurt you in any way. Please know that it was never my intention to do that.” There was a desperation in Sharon’s voice that Andrea had never heard before.
“You won’t lose that,” Andrea said, sighing. She meant it, she really did; she didn’t want to lose the companionship that she’d come to treasure so dearly. Surely they could get back to the easy friendship they once had, right? “I can’t promise that things won’t be, awkward, for a bit, but...” she shrugged, blushing deeply. “I’m going to need some space,” she said.
Sharon nodded and crossed her arms over her chest as she made her way out of Andrea’s bed to collect her clothes, which were still scattered haphazardly down the hallway. “I think that’s a fair compromise... I don’t know how to work this out from here, but I know that I’d like to. And I understand that it may take us some time to...” Sharon trailed off, unsure of exactly what she wanted to say. “To... recover, I guess, from last night. And I know that you’re probably pissed at me for...” she trailed off, shrugging.
Andrea avoided Sharon’s gaze as she contemplated Sharon’s choice in words. “We’ll figure it out. Now, you should probably get home and get ready for work,” she sighed, trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible, given the circumstances. She really was ready for Sharon to be out of her house.
“Right...” Sharon muttered. She regarded Andrea one last time before she left the room to collect the rest of her things. She opted for getting dressed in the guest bathroom to give Andrea her space and only approached the master bedroom again when she was fully clad in her outfit from the night before.
“Well, I am going to go, Andrea,” she announced from the doorway, uncertain of whether Andrea wanted her in her bedroom again or not.
Andrea had pulled her pants back on and was fidgeting with the hem of her flannel bottoms. “I’ll walk you out,” she said awkwardly.
“Oh, okay,” Sharon said, surprised, still balanced in the doorway. Andrea raised an eyebrow at Sharon and waited for her to move. She was not going to touch her again. Sharon paused, then startled slightly as she caught the hint. She moved quickly, allowing Andrea to walk in front of her down the hallway.
Andrea dug Sharon’s jacket and purse out of her closet in the front of her home as Sharon stepped back into her heels. “Here you go,” she said as she offered them to Sharon.
Sharon took the items and smiled. “Thank you. Um, if you need anything, if you start to feel unwell or if the painkillers are making you dizzy-”
“I’ll be fine, thank you,” Andrea said coolly.
“Right, well, I’ll see you later?” Sharon reached out to embrace Andrea, but she felt the younger woman stiffen, so her embrace turned into an awkward arm pat. Sharon let her go quickly and hitched her purse over her shoulder, trying to hide the disappointment and sadness she knew were apparent on her face. She was the one who said they couldn’t be anything other than friends. She was responsible for this. Andrea was pissed at her, and she had every right to be. “Well, bye then,” Sharon muttered as she walked out the door, not bothering to look back at Andrea as she went. Andrea had made it clear she wanted to be left alone and she needed to allow her that.
Andrea watched from the front door as Sharon got into her car and pulled out of her driveway. She leaned against the doorframe as she watched her drive down the street. Andrea had not anticipated the last twenty-four hours to go as they had; she didn’t think Sharon would come over, she certainly hadn’t expected them to sleep together. She really didn’t expect Sharon to leave her. Her heart sank as Sharon’s car disappeared from her view. Andrea laughed darkly to herself as she dragged her body away from the door and back towards her bed. It was stupid of her to be surprised by Sharon’s decision. At the end of the day, remaining friends was the only sensible decision, and the only kind of decisions Rulebook Raydor ever made were sensible. Sharon didn’t take risks. She didn’t make decisions while being led by irrationality or random whims; that was part of what Andrea had always admired so much about her, though right now, she hated that quality.
Friends. That’s what Sharon wanted; friendship was safe, easy, and comfortable for her. It was what Andrea wanted too, truly; she couldn’t imagine not having Sharon in her life as a support both personally and professionally. She wasn’t sure if they could ever get back to the friendship they used to have, but surely, like all good things, it was worth fighting for? If not, Andrea was going to have to find a way to live without Sharon altogether.