Why?...
What the hell am I doing here? I mean seriously what the hell? Why am I in this black hole of a town in this wasteland of a state doing absolutly nothing?
I'm 25 years old and I look at what some others are doing at my age and what other have accomplished when they were my age. This is the age of turning. This is the age where peoples live change and they cast direction, shrug off the flaws of youth and decide. 25 years have built to this point, my life has been deeply influinced by music, martial arts, theater, comics, animations, and the workings of one or two exstrodinary people. I feel like I know myself more than I ever have in the past, I know what I like.
Life is always dishing out new experience but at this age, most everyone is defined, they have their favorite colors, flavors, styles, music all in a row.
So why am I hear? I sharp sword that has so much potential to be weilded but no handle. While my lifes influences has shaped a wonderful blade a cruel twist of fate in that it didn't come with a handle like other people. No way to weild it. I know what's missing I just don't know what's missing. Is the handle confidence? Self-Discapline? The ability to make things happen? Perhaps a bit of each. Maybe I have the handle but dont' know how it goes on just yet, but instead of trying to get it fitted on I'm instead waiting around for someone hoping THEY will fit it on. It's time that stopped don't you think?
I mean I look around, bloody hell I'm in a gas station in the middle of michigan...living in a town whos population is about uhhhh 3. I mean night after night I see people come in to the store wearing their choice overalls, checkered caps, nascar t-shirts, bear t-shirts. Oh and those lovely tubbies that buy t-shirts 10 sizes too small so they can show the world just how well their gut falls over their pants. Everyone here loves country music, nascar, beer and cigarettes. The average age of a mother is 22. They seem to only know what they see on Good Morning America and have the sence of humor of a brick. Not everyone is like this, but the good ones are like me. Stuck. I don't belong here...WE don't belong here, honey.
A huge part of me wants to quit my job, pack all our things into my car and just go were the road takes us BUT that only works if you have alot of passion and a hell of an idea. I may have passion but the idea is a bit on the lacking side. I could use some input, especially from you sweetheart. What sounds good for US?
The idea of doing what I want may be large and I might not know where to start but there is no great reward without risk. The goal? To do what I love and make a damn good living at it. I'm not here to tend tables, run a register, mop floors...I'm here to entertain using the tool that I've known I had all along....my imagination. Seems like it's been practicing up till now, time to put it to work. I may come off as arrogant, or prideful but if that's the edge I need so be it.
It's time to get started. Time for a bit of adventure.