Our Secret
Important Note: This oneshot takes place during Hello Baby episode 7 when Minwoo was the daily dad. He came dressed like a doctor, even bringing a real stethoscope. I mentioned this because the stethoscope features in the story. Another thing is that I originally wrote this in first person, but later on changed it to third person. I've checked for mistakes but I'm only human so if you spot any, please let me know.
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Some things are solely between two people. No else needs to know.
“Changing tapes! Fifteen minutes break!”
As soon as the PD’s declaration set in, Yuri leans back heavily on the couch. Everyone else around her starts moving away, whether it is to talk to the staff, each other, or to go somewhere she doesn't really care for right now. All she wants to do is rest. She starts to close her eyes, fully intending to make the best out of these fifteen minutes, but then she stops.
From the flurry of movements around her, she appears. She comes her way, and she’s not even looking at her as she approaches. Almost absently, she sits down on the small space to Yuri’s left even though the one to her right is much bigger. Yuri knows exactly why she did so, but she pretends not to notice. It’s only when she feels her eyes on her, and she always know when this happens, that she turns to look at her.
The smile on her lips is barely noticeable. “Tired?”
There are no cameras rolling right now, but there are way too many eyes. And Yuri is willing to bet some of the staff may still be recording with handheld devices for behind-the-scenes footages.
She shakes her head slightly. “Not anymore.”
Her smile grows just so, before she looks away and Yuri does the same. They probably seem like two strangers sharing the couch. But it’s okay. They love the silence too.
It hasn’t always been this way though.
They weren’t always like this. They used to be all over each other. They were group mates, friends, best friends, sisters, and…heh, spouses too. Though they weren’t the ones who gave themselves that relationship. The fans did. They just played along. After all, fanservice was also part of an idol’s job. Especially in a group as big as theirs. It adds appeal when members pair up with each other. So she was her Kwon seobang. And she had her Sica baby. To whom it concerned, they were in love and completely devoted to each other.
It had been fun in the beginning. They were young, close friends who just really loved spending time together without a care for how it was perceived. Fans immediately picked up on the closeness, and next thing they knew, they had been dubbed a couple. It was amusing. Watching the fans create names for them, and especially watching their reactions to purposely orchestrated fanservice. Not that there was a lot of that to begin with. Just being themselves said so much already. Yes, those were good times.
They knew from the start that this wouldn’t last. One day they’ll grow up, and even if how they regard each other hasn’t changed, they’ll abandon this showy way of affection. When they were young it’s cute. And they get away with a lot of things in this fashion. But as they grow older, mature into their twenties, no one wants to see the lovey dovey-ness anymore. The Soshibond is real. Okay, people get that. No one likes that fact shoved into their faces. People expect them to leave the cute image behind, embrace the sexy, and actually show interest in men even if they aren’t allowed to date. Even if no one actually wants to see them date. For two girls to still be that attached to each other at this point would be weird. It would be suspicious. And they can’t have that.
So yes, they knew it was imminent. It’s a matter of time. Both of them would have to come to terms with it. Enough is enough. They needed to put some space between them. Preferably before someone else tells them to. But Yuri couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to. Why should she?
She couldn’t speak for Jessica’s behalf, but she knew what she felt. Maybe it was the constant stimulus, ‘Kwon seobang’, ‘seobang’, ‘YuSica’, ‘YulSic’; she grew into the role. She had become so accustomed to their make believe relationship to the point that she could no longer trace back to a time when it wasn’t real. It was like the air they breathe. Intangible, but there. Without her realizing, this had become her reality. When? When? She didn't know, but her feelings and thoughts had changed. And out of the blue, just like that, it dawned on her.
She was in love with Jessica. She is in love with Jessica. She loves her.
But it was the kind of love that could ruin them both. And love shouldn’t hurt.
She sighs lightly, thinking Jessica wouldn’t notice, but she does. She doesn’t show it outwardly, she just puts her weight on Yuri’s shoulder. Yuri can’t help but smile. The blonde sure has funny ways of saying ‘are you okay?’ She nudges her off, discreetly poking her side as she does. Jessica immediately squirms away from the contact, hands already over her mouth to muffle her squealing. She throws Yuri her famous icy glare, and it would have worked better except its Yuri, and that Yuri could see her smiling under her palms. A light slap meets Yuri’s arm before she huffs and pretends to shift her attention elsewhere.
She smiles to herself. There is no one more adorable than her. How Yuri wants to hold her now and tell her just that. But there are too many eyes.
She had wanted it to be Jessica. She couldn’t do anything, so she wanted her to. For once, live up to her Ice Princess reputation and tell it to her straight. ‘Yah, Kwon Yuri. Let’s stop this.’ Pull away from her, be distant, be cold because if she doesn’t, she won’t ever want to let go. But that’s the thing. Jessica never did.
There’s a stethoscope in Jessica’s hands now, the one Minwoo oppa brought. Yuri wonders where she got that from. The floor? Jessica fiddles with it with an almost childlike innocence. Then she giggles. Most likely recalling the fun they all had with the instrument. Yuri didn’t get the worst of it, but she had been told that Sunny and Yoona had been particularly mean.
The shorter girl hands Yuri the ear piece and she takes it, because she’s giving her that look. No, not that shut-up-and-do-as-I-instruct-you-to look, but that look. Yuri will never forget that look. It was the same one she saw in the dorm that day. She will never forget that day either.
“Seobang.”
Both of them sprawled on the couch, Jessica’s head on Yuri’s lap, Yuri’s fingers combing Jessica’s hair, them looking into each other’s eyes, using affectionate names, all that was normal. But when Jessica’s hand reached up to stroke Yuri’s cheek, it ceased to be normal. Something told Yuri to pull away. Something else told her not to, because it’s just the two of them in the dorm, and because she doesn’t know how much longer they can keep this up. That little voice whispered into her, enjoy it while it lasts.
She’s not sure if she moved, or Jessica pulled, but suddenly their faces were so close she could feel icy breath on her skin. Yuri tried to pretend that she didn’t know what was going on for some sense of self protection, tried to ignore how close Jessica was to her. But all that was crushed when she saw that look in her eyes. Kiss me. NOW.
So she did.
Her lips were warmer than Yuri expected. Softer and sweeter than she had imagined. And she loved it.
She hadn’t had enough of her, its not possible to, but Jessica’s already broken the kiss. Part of her wanted to crush their lips back together, to kiss her again and again until they’re both breathless and dizzy. But another part of her, the rational part that wasn’t seeing Sica like some sort of forbidden fruit she wanted to ravage, needed to know what just happened. Why it happened.
Jessica smiled at her almost lazily, her hand slowly tracing Yuri’s jaw line. Yuri found it hard to focus when they were still so close Jessica’s breath was on her nose.
“Sica-yah.”
“I don’t want things to change. I want to stay with you like this.”
Jessica looked Yuri right in the eyes. Her tone was deliberate. She had given this some thought. And this had been her conclusion. She wanted the same thing Yuri did.
“Then let’s not change. No one has to know, Sica. Just you and me.”
And that’s the case right now. That’s been the case for the past several months. They make do with little touches, meaningful glances, secret meetings. But when everyone is looking, they’ll see Jessica with Tiffany and Yuri with Yoona. The less attention they call upon themselves, the better. It isn’t always easy hiding it from the girls, but ignorance is bliss. What they don’t know can’t hurt them.
Yuri looks at the stethoscope’s ear piece in her hands and not knowing what else to do with it, she puts it in her ears. There is nothing but silence to be found. She turns to see what the other is doing with the chest piece. Does she trust her to not put it on her throat and attempt to burst her eardrums?
“Don’t look at me.”
Yuri turns away immediately. Apparently she does.
“Just listen.”
There’s some noise indicating that Jessica’s moving the chest piece around, and then Yuri hears her breath in her ear. Jessica puts the piece to her mouth. Yuri smiles, and closes her eyes to sharpen her ears. The bustling around her, the staff’s chatter and movements, the sound of equipments being transported around, Yoona’s laughter in a distance, Sooyoung and Hyoyeon’s bickering in the kitchen, Tiffany’s random singing somewhere nearby, she tunes them all out.
She focuses only on one voice.
“Yuri.”
“Can you hear me?”
It’s breathy and soft, but she can. She nods her head. Yuri swears she hears Jessica smile. Isn’t that strange? Smiles don’t come with sound.
“Good…listen carefully.”
The taller girl feels her shifting about and then Jessica’s right knee touches her left. It probably looks like nothing. But she knows better. There’s always something to expect when Jessica gives her that look. With a quick inhalation, Jessica speaks.
“I…”
She pauses. Tiffany hits a high note. Didn’t she just have an endoscopy?
“Love…”
Another pause. Sunny joins the bickering in the kitchen.
“You…”
Yuri opens her eyes when another weight settles to her right. It’s the maknae, oblivious to what transpired between Sica and her. But of course. She couldn’t hear anything.
The commotion around them grows louder suddenly. It’s an indication their break is almost up. The PD and staff resume their positions. Everyone else gather back on the carpet. No one pays them any mind. But of course.
Jessica kisses the chest piece, smiling knowingly as a blush creeps up Yuri’s face.
It’s their secret.
---
A/N - This oneshot was inspired by this scene below, from Hello Baby X-file 7 as well as the FMV under the screencap. The scene plus the song used instantly made me think that Jessica was saying 'I love you'.
---
Some things are solely between two people. No else needs to know.
“Changing tapes! Fifteen minutes break!”
As soon as the PD’s declaration set in, Yuri leans back heavily on the couch. Everyone else around her starts moving away, whether it is to talk to the staff, each other, or to go somewhere she doesn't really care for right now. All she wants to do is rest. She starts to close her eyes, fully intending to make the best out of these fifteen minutes, but then she stops.
From the flurry of movements around her, she appears. She comes her way, and she’s not even looking at her as she approaches. Almost absently, she sits down on the small space to Yuri’s left even though the one to her right is much bigger. Yuri knows exactly why she did so, but she pretends not to notice. It’s only when she feels her eyes on her, and she always know when this happens, that she turns to look at her.
The smile on her lips is barely noticeable. “Tired?”
There are no cameras rolling right now, but there are way too many eyes. And Yuri is willing to bet some of the staff may still be recording with handheld devices for behind-the-scenes footages.
She shakes her head slightly. “Not anymore.”
Her smile grows just so, before she looks away and Yuri does the same. They probably seem like two strangers sharing the couch. But it’s okay. They love the silence too.
It hasn’t always been this way though.
They weren’t always like this. They used to be all over each other. They were group mates, friends, best friends, sisters, and…heh, spouses too. Though they weren’t the ones who gave themselves that relationship. The fans did. They just played along. After all, fanservice was also part of an idol’s job. Especially in a group as big as theirs. It adds appeal when members pair up with each other. So she was her Kwon seobang. And she had her Sica baby. To whom it concerned, they were in love and completely devoted to each other.
It had been fun in the beginning. They were young, close friends who just really loved spending time together without a care for how it was perceived. Fans immediately picked up on the closeness, and next thing they knew, they had been dubbed a couple. It was amusing. Watching the fans create names for them, and especially watching their reactions to purposely orchestrated fanservice. Not that there was a lot of that to begin with. Just being themselves said so much already. Yes, those were good times.
They knew from the start that this wouldn’t last. One day they’ll grow up, and even if how they regard each other hasn’t changed, they’ll abandon this showy way of affection. When they were young it’s cute. And they get away with a lot of things in this fashion. But as they grow older, mature into their twenties, no one wants to see the lovey dovey-ness anymore. The Soshibond is real. Okay, people get that. No one likes that fact shoved into their faces. People expect them to leave the cute image behind, embrace the sexy, and actually show interest in men even if they aren’t allowed to date. Even if no one actually wants to see them date. For two girls to still be that attached to each other at this point would be weird. It would be suspicious. And they can’t have that.
So yes, they knew it was imminent. It’s a matter of time. Both of them would have to come to terms with it. Enough is enough. They needed to put some space between them. Preferably before someone else tells them to. But Yuri couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to. Why should she?
She couldn’t speak for Jessica’s behalf, but she knew what she felt. Maybe it was the constant stimulus, ‘Kwon seobang’, ‘seobang’, ‘YuSica’, ‘YulSic’; she grew into the role. She had become so accustomed to their make believe relationship to the point that she could no longer trace back to a time when it wasn’t real. It was like the air they breathe. Intangible, but there. Without her realizing, this had become her reality. When? When? She didn't know, but her feelings and thoughts had changed. And out of the blue, just like that, it dawned on her.
She was in love with Jessica. She is in love with Jessica. She loves her.
But it was the kind of love that could ruin them both. And love shouldn’t hurt.
She sighs lightly, thinking Jessica wouldn’t notice, but she does. She doesn’t show it outwardly, she just puts her weight on Yuri’s shoulder. Yuri can’t help but smile. The blonde sure has funny ways of saying ‘are you okay?’ She nudges her off, discreetly poking her side as she does. Jessica immediately squirms away from the contact, hands already over her mouth to muffle her squealing. She throws Yuri her famous icy glare, and it would have worked better except its Yuri, and that Yuri could see her smiling under her palms. A light slap meets Yuri’s arm before she huffs and pretends to shift her attention elsewhere.
She smiles to herself. There is no one more adorable than her. How Yuri wants to hold her now and tell her just that. But there are too many eyes.
She had wanted it to be Jessica. She couldn’t do anything, so she wanted her to. For once, live up to her Ice Princess reputation and tell it to her straight. ‘Yah, Kwon Yuri. Let’s stop this.’ Pull away from her, be distant, be cold because if she doesn’t, she won’t ever want to let go. But that’s the thing. Jessica never did.
There’s a stethoscope in Jessica’s hands now, the one Minwoo oppa brought. Yuri wonders where she got that from. The floor? Jessica fiddles with it with an almost childlike innocence. Then she giggles. Most likely recalling the fun they all had with the instrument. Yuri didn’t get the worst of it, but she had been told that Sunny and Yoona had been particularly mean.
The shorter girl hands Yuri the ear piece and she takes it, because she’s giving her that look. No, not that shut-up-and-do-as-I-instruct-you-to look, but that look. Yuri will never forget that look. It was the same one she saw in the dorm that day. She will never forget that day either.
“Seobang.”
Both of them sprawled on the couch, Jessica’s head on Yuri’s lap, Yuri’s fingers combing Jessica’s hair, them looking into each other’s eyes, using affectionate names, all that was normal. But when Jessica’s hand reached up to stroke Yuri’s cheek, it ceased to be normal. Something told Yuri to pull away. Something else told her not to, because it’s just the two of them in the dorm, and because she doesn’t know how much longer they can keep this up. That little voice whispered into her, enjoy it while it lasts.
She’s not sure if she moved, or Jessica pulled, but suddenly their faces were so close she could feel icy breath on her skin. Yuri tried to pretend that she didn’t know what was going on for some sense of self protection, tried to ignore how close Jessica was to her. But all that was crushed when she saw that look in her eyes. Kiss me. NOW.
So she did.
Her lips were warmer than Yuri expected. Softer and sweeter than she had imagined. And she loved it.
She hadn’t had enough of her, its not possible to, but Jessica’s already broken the kiss. Part of her wanted to crush their lips back together, to kiss her again and again until they’re both breathless and dizzy. But another part of her, the rational part that wasn’t seeing Sica like some sort of forbidden fruit she wanted to ravage, needed to know what just happened. Why it happened.
Jessica smiled at her almost lazily, her hand slowly tracing Yuri’s jaw line. Yuri found it hard to focus when they were still so close Jessica’s breath was on her nose.
“Sica-yah.”
“I don’t want things to change. I want to stay with you like this.”
Jessica looked Yuri right in the eyes. Her tone was deliberate. She had given this some thought. And this had been her conclusion. She wanted the same thing Yuri did.
“Then let’s not change. No one has to know, Sica. Just you and me.”
And that’s the case right now. That’s been the case for the past several months. They make do with little touches, meaningful glances, secret meetings. But when everyone is looking, they’ll see Jessica with Tiffany and Yuri with Yoona. The less attention they call upon themselves, the better. It isn’t always easy hiding it from the girls, but ignorance is bliss. What they don’t know can’t hurt them.
Yuri looks at the stethoscope’s ear piece in her hands and not knowing what else to do with it, she puts it in her ears. There is nothing but silence to be found. She turns to see what the other is doing with the chest piece. Does she trust her to not put it on her throat and attempt to burst her eardrums?
“Don’t look at me.”
Yuri turns away immediately. Apparently she does.
“Just listen.”
There’s some noise indicating that Jessica’s moving the chest piece around, and then Yuri hears her breath in her ear. Jessica puts the piece to her mouth. Yuri smiles, and closes her eyes to sharpen her ears. The bustling around her, the staff’s chatter and movements, the sound of equipments being transported around, Yoona’s laughter in a distance, Sooyoung and Hyoyeon’s bickering in the kitchen, Tiffany’s random singing somewhere nearby, she tunes them all out.
She focuses only on one voice.
“Yuri.”
“Can you hear me?”
It’s breathy and soft, but she can. She nods her head. Yuri swears she hears Jessica smile. Isn’t that strange? Smiles don’t come with sound.
“Good…listen carefully.”
The taller girl feels her shifting about and then Jessica’s right knee touches her left. It probably looks like nothing. But she knows better. There’s always something to expect when Jessica gives her that look. With a quick inhalation, Jessica speaks.
“I…”
She pauses. Tiffany hits a high note. Didn’t she just have an endoscopy?
“Love…”
Another pause. Sunny joins the bickering in the kitchen.
“You…”
Yuri opens her eyes when another weight settles to her right. It’s the maknae, oblivious to what transpired between Sica and her. But of course. She couldn’t hear anything.
The commotion around them grows louder suddenly. It’s an indication their break is almost up. The PD and staff resume their positions. Everyone else gather back on the carpet. No one pays them any mind. But of course.
Jessica kisses the chest piece, smiling knowingly as a blush creeps up Yuri’s face.
It’s their secret.
---
A/N - This oneshot was inspired by this scene below, from Hello Baby X-file 7 as well as the FMV under the screencap. The scene plus the song used instantly made me think that Jessica was saying 'I love you'.
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