Forget Me
Forget Me [4/?]
Kangin/Leeteuk, slight Hangeng/Heechul
PG-13 | Angst, Romance, Drama
Snow, delicate snow, all but a moment's fascination, then ever so slightly, it melts from your mind. Just like love, just like Leeteuk.
Warnings: AU!Kangteuk
01 | 02 | 03
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A/N: I'm sorry for the long update. I went through a phase when I lost confident in my writing and just stopped writing altogether T-T I started writing again and found the muse to write this ^^ Thank you for reading ^^
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The snow kept falling, it never stopped, it just kept falling. Soon, it covered the city with its sheer beauty, something we’re graced with, something we take advantage of.
Kangin spread his hand out, and watch as a snowflake delicately prompt itself on it, snuggling closer to the warmth of his hand. He ravel his hand into a loose fist but no matter how gentle or rough he is, a fist is still a fist, an act of violence, and the snowflake disperse into tiny bits of white remnants. It was a fragile thing, just like love.
“You know what this flower is?” Yoonji asked, pulling out a single peony. It was small and frail, but the flickering red shot out at him. It was a fierce red, a passionate red.
Kangin stared at it. He never had an interest in flowers, the only one he knew was a rose and that was it. “What is it?”
“Peony,” she smiled, holding the flower closer to her chest. She closed her eyes, and took an exaggerated intake of breath and then exhaled. The flower looked as if it was giving her strength, giving her the energy to carry on. She looks beautiful.
“It represents the coyness of a confession, the bashfulness of an ‘I love you.’” She handed him the flower.
“I love you.” She uttered, her voice was small and quiet but like the color of the flower, it was strong and amorous.
“I love you too.” Kangin held on to the flower and he found himself gaining strength. Just like our love.
“Why don’t you get her the peonies then?”
Kangin smiled, grimly. “Maybe another time.”
Leeteuk looked at him strangely, vigilantly. “Is everything okay?”
Kangin drew circles on his temples, adding pressure. “Just stress from exams.”
“Every student goes through that, including me. So don’t worry.” He almost forgot that Leeteuk was a student, just like him. Leeteuk had exams, assignments, teacher butchering him, just like him. He almost forgot that Leeteuk and him weren’t that different after all.
He caresses the petals of a white rose. Purity. Love. Pure love.
“Sometimes, it’s good to be away from the hospital,” Leeteuk arches a brow. “It’s not good to smell disinfectant all the time.” He shrugs and Leeteuk nods, still not quite understanding what was going on.
He grew sick of smelling it, of the familiar sight, the familiar failure, he’s tired. It was hard. Sometimes, he needed fresh air, he needed to break away.
“Sorry, I just needed to get away from it.”
Leeteuk laughs, too loudly but it was a happy laugh, a carefree one. “You could have just said you wanted to get out. I thought there was something wrong.” Leeteuk said, the caring Leeteuk, Leeteuk who cared for everyone, the oldest of his friends, the one whose parents trusted with their precious kids.
“Deciding which movie to watch is very crucial,” Kangin comment. The busy streets, the horns didn’t stay as the background noise anymore; it was louder, much louder. He stared at the cars, the brakes screeching, coercion with the ice. It was disturbing, but he grew use to it every year. The snow falls, the ice forms, everything gets slippery, it’s easier to fall.
“So what movie do you like?”
He doesn’t know how this happened, how this formed, this bond. He would like to call it a tryst, a friendly tryst but there was this strange thing lurking, call it something other than friendly. Kangin doesn’t like it.
“I don’t know, I just want to go out.”
“So you called me out here because you’re bored?” He could see Leeteuk face-palming.
“More or less,” Kangin laughed, “It’s good to stop studying once in a while.”
“I need this scholarship, my marks need-”
“I have a scholarship to keep too, but over-studying isn’t good.”
“I know-”
“Excuse me-” People pushed through, rather rudely-“Hey, watch it.” He spat out through gritted teeth.
The streets started to grow busy as the holiday approached. People started to get jumpy, tipsy, pressured from the holiday. Students, high schools, colleges and universities had exams, workers had extra work, and the kids were the only ones enjoying the holiday. A holiday meant having fun but for us, the adults, it meant more work. Funny how the meaning differs so greatly.
A woman walks forward, almost crashing into us. Leeteuk seems slow, his reflexes failing. Kangin pulls Leeteuk back from the woman carrying her groceries. The plastic bag rips, the fruits, the vegetables, everything seep out of the hole. It turns into a mess, a cacophony.
Leeteuk, the caring being he is, warns her. “Hey miss-” He takes a step forward, a lending hand already extended.
Kangin notice something, his eyes grow big at it. It was an immediate effect-Kangin steps out to stop Leeteuk, to help him. “Leeteuk, watch out - Are you okay?!” Too late.
*~*
The snow is beautiful, it covered the city with a soft veil, it prettified it. It also made ice, that disgusting thing. It made the roads more sleek, it made more accidents, the number of patients at the hospital increased during this season. Leeteuk was one of them.
His fingers folded into a fist, then it unravelled, then it folded into a fist again. Kangin was anxious, beyond that even. He wasn’t the usual Kangin. He didn’t recognize himself.
“Youngwoon? What are you doing here?” He turns around, hoping that it was Leeteuk but it wasn’t. It’s a nurse, Jooyeon, Yoonji’s nurse.
He smiled, “Hey Jooyeon. My friend got into an accident, that’s all.”
“I thought you’re here to see Yoonji, but I guess not-” She laughs, rather innocently-“Well, I hope your friend is okay.”
Whenever Kangin was at the hospital, people would always assume it was for Yoonji, it usually is. He didn’t hate that though, Yoonji and him were always together, so it’s expected. But now, he can’t help but feel burden. Kangin wonders if he wanders outside alone, would people question why he wasn’t with her? Or where she was? He wonders if he would always have to be with her. He didn’t like that.
Then, the nurse suddenly steps out from behind the curtain. “Nurse, how is he?!” Kangin jumps out of his seat, and the person initially beside him scowls at the sudden jerk.
“What’s your friend’s name?” He frowns at the word ‘friend.’
“Park Jungsoo.”
“Mister, he’s-”
“Youngwoon.” Kangin turn around; Leeteuk was standing there, his coat over his shoulders, a bandaged wrist.
Leeteuk reaches out to help, to help the lady before anything happens-like someone stealing her fruits, or the lady slipping. But something happens, but it’s none of the latter that happens, not to her at least. He feels his leg slip on something-ice or the fruits- he sees the world in a strange angle, and a searing pain hits his wrist as it comes in contact with the sidewalk.
“I think you need to go to the hospital,” Leeteuk wince at the mentions of the hospital. It seems like they were bounded to the hospital in some sort of way. Leeteuk didn’t like it, but who were they to fight against fate.
Kangin ran over, almost too hastily. “Are you okay?” He holds onto Leeteuk's arm, tighter than he would have liked or expected. Leeteuk flinches at the sudden intimacy. Leeteuk looks uncomfortable under Kangin’s gaze as Kangin looks at him more closely, to see if Leeteuk was wounded or hurt in any way. Kangin notice the slight blush on his face and pulls away, in embarrassment.
“I’m okay,” Leeteuk reaches to scratch his head with his bandaged wrist-stops and winces a bit. “Really.”
“I guess no movies today then.”
“You think?” He stands awkwardly.
“A walk in the park would do,” Kangin offers a dim smile, it seems to be enough for Leeteuk.
“Wait, I have to go pay for the medical stuff.”
“I already paid for you.”
“I’ll pay you back,” Leeteuk reaches into his pocket, Kangin stops him.
“You don’t have to, and it’s partially my fault, if I didn’t suggest-”
“It’s not your fault,” Leeteuk remarks, “But I think I have to go to the washroom first.”
“Okay, I’ll wait here.” Kangin watch Leeteuk leave and he turn back to his seat. Jooyeon was still standing there, and from the impassive look on her face, she saw them. Kangin couldn’t stop the shame as it rushes over him, drowning him. He found it difficult to breathe, and he wanted to drown in it forever. But life wasn’t fair. He could feel embarrass, but only he would feel embarrass, no one else would. If he wanted to run, he couldn’t, people would stare at him, in disgust, in disgrace.
“Youngwoon.”
“Yes, Jooyeon?” Kangin ignore the warning in her voice.
“I hope you visit Yoonji soon,” she smiles, too warm for his liking. Then she gives him a courteous nod, and walks off into the direction of Yoonji’s room, where he should be heading.
He stares at her figure, disappearing. He thinks she knows, she knows about his "friendship" with Leeteuk. She was warning him about something, something he doesn’t want to think about. It was too complicated and headache inducing. There wasn’t anything worth warning him about so he shrugged it off.
Then Leeteuk came out from the washroom, him oblivious to all of this. Kangin wanted it to stay that way.
Leeteuk looks surprise. “Let’s go, Kangin.”
Like that, they switch from Jungsoo and Youngwoon to Leeteuk and Kangin.
*~*
“So, your replacement of a movie is to go to a park and watch the snow fall?” Leeteuk chuckles, but extends his hand out for the snowflake to nestle on his glove.
“It’s snowing a lot lately, don’t you think?”
Leeteuk nods, “It could be a good thing.”
“It looks nice, but it’s cold to the touch,” Kangin feels the frostiness seeping through his gloves and sending frosty bites to his palm. He didn’t shrivel away at the feeling; he wanted to warm up to it.
“Then watching it is fine, you don’t need to feel it.” Leeteuk sounded different, he seemed different. Leeteuk reminded him of Jooyeon, with her warning. These subtle messages never work, they were either hard to understand or too easy to pretend that he didn’t notice or see.
“But it seems so cruel, just watching something so beautiful but you have to restrain yourself.” Kangin shrugs.
“Restrain yourself?”
“Don’t you want to be a part of something beautiful? Tempting?” Kangin ask, reaching out again, seeing if the snow would ever land on his palm, to grace his presence.
“It’s tempting, but it’s a matter of resisting it.” Leeteuk looks at him, strangely, but with knowledge. Valuable knowledge.
“One’s resistance sometimes strain.”
Leeteuk sighs. “It’s easier to resist if one has something worth it, worth a person to resist for so long.” Kangin thinks everyone has ‘something worth resisting for.’ Leeteuk pulls his hand back, far from the snow.
Kangin laughs, gauchely. “I feel like we’re not talking about the snow anymore.”
“It’s a pretext.” None of them ask what it was a pretext for. They already knew.
*~*
“Jungsoo?”
Leeteuk looked up from his arms to Heechul. “Hmm?”
“What’s bothering you?” He pulls a chair from his desk and drags it to Leeteuk’s bed.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing my ass. I’ve been calling you for exactly-” He steals a glance at his watch, “24 seconds now. The first time was three Leeteuks and one Jungsoo.”
“I think my friendship isn’t a friendship anymore.” The memories replay, over and over again. Scenes of how they first met, to their steady friendship until today. Leeteuk always knew that Kangin and him would match, but he didn’t think it would border on anything other than friendship. One-sided love is always tragic; Kangin’s girlfriend added more to the tragedy.
“I don’t think it ever was,” Heechul jeers.
“Thanks Heechul,” Leeteuk reply bitterly, much to Heechul’s laughter.
“I tried giving you warnings.”
“You can’t give warnings about things like this, the person’s practically blind.”
“You mean you’re blind.”
Leeteuk curls up his knees and hug them. “I don’t know, it feels wrong to be near him. He has a girlfriend for heaven’s sake.”
“Love-”
“It’s not love.”
“Well, whatever you feel for this stranger then, I don’t think you should be ashamed of it but happy that you could experience it.”
“I know, I should but I’m practically a ‘third party.’” Leeteuk made air quotes.
“Well, you didn’t know, and I’m not saying it’s a good thing either but it seems like he feels the same way. It’s a miracle when two people like each other. So, you should cherish it.”
“So, you’re telling me to go after this man, even if I’m the third party? It seems-” Leeteuk bites his bottom lip, “Selfish.”
“We’re all selfish, you’re just too kind.” Heechul replies.
Heechul watches as Jungsoo lets the words sink in. He doesn’t know the true meaning of ‘selfish.’ Just because someone knows the definition of it, it doesn’t mean they understand it. Jungsoo didn’t understand it. He’s too kind and likes to complicate things. If he likes Kangin, then pursue this love. Love is a selfish thing. Heechul understands that.
“Jungsoo, when I tell you things, I’m not thinking for Kangin or his girlfriend, I’m thinking for you. I want you to be happy.”
“I know, but I’m not like that. I can’t just think of myself, Chul.”
“Sometimes, I wish you did. You’d be a lot happier.”
*~*
“You’re not going to see your mystery man?” Heechul teases. He expected to come face-to-face with a pillow or Jungsoo’s timid laughter but instead, it’s Jungsoo shaking his head.
“No, I’m going to set things right.” Even if it doesn’t make me happy. His eyes add.
He nods, understanding him. Jungsoo chose Kangin over himself.
This happens for a few days, then it turns into a week. Soon enough, Jungsoo starts turning off his phone with the excuse, “I need to study.” Heechul knew that it was a lie, everyone knew, even naïve Ryeowook.
After a week and few days, Heechul decides that it has to end. Jungsoo has to be happy.
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I don't know if anyone still reads this, I apologize for the time it took to update this. If anyone still does, and I promise to give you a spot in this, please tell me if you're still interested ^^ I made some changes to the summary and the format as a way to signify a new start sort of :3
I thank you for sticking by this fanfic for so long.
-Deleaah
Kangin/Leeteuk, slight Hangeng/Heechul
PG-13 | Angst, Romance, Drama
Snow, delicate snow, all but a moment's fascination, then ever so slightly, it melts from your mind. Just like love, just like Leeteuk.
Warnings: AU!Kangteuk
01 | 02 | 03
-------
A/N: I'm sorry for the long update. I went through a phase when I lost confident in my writing and just stopped writing altogether T-T I started writing again and found the muse to write this ^^ Thank you for reading ^^
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The snow kept falling, it never stopped, it just kept falling. Soon, it covered the city with its sheer beauty, something we’re graced with, something we take advantage of.
Kangin spread his hand out, and watch as a snowflake delicately prompt itself on it, snuggling closer to the warmth of his hand. He ravel his hand into a loose fist but no matter how gentle or rough he is, a fist is still a fist, an act of violence, and the snowflake disperse into tiny bits of white remnants. It was a fragile thing, just like love.
“You know what this flower is?” Yoonji asked, pulling out a single peony. It was small and frail, but the flickering red shot out at him. It was a fierce red, a passionate red.
Kangin stared at it. He never had an interest in flowers, the only one he knew was a rose and that was it. “What is it?”
“Peony,” she smiled, holding the flower closer to her chest. She closed her eyes, and took an exaggerated intake of breath and then exhaled. The flower looked as if it was giving her strength, giving her the energy to carry on. She looks beautiful.
“It represents the coyness of a confession, the bashfulness of an ‘I love you.’” She handed him the flower.
“I love you.” She uttered, her voice was small and quiet but like the color of the flower, it was strong and amorous.
“I love you too.” Kangin held on to the flower and he found himself gaining strength. Just like our love.
“Why don’t you get her the peonies then?”
Kangin smiled, grimly. “Maybe another time.”
Leeteuk looked at him strangely, vigilantly. “Is everything okay?”
Kangin drew circles on his temples, adding pressure. “Just stress from exams.”
“Every student goes through that, including me. So don’t worry.” He almost forgot that Leeteuk was a student, just like him. Leeteuk had exams, assignments, teacher butchering him, just like him. He almost forgot that Leeteuk and him weren’t that different after all.
He caresses the petals of a white rose. Purity. Love. Pure love.
“Sometimes, it’s good to be away from the hospital,” Leeteuk arches a brow. “It’s not good to smell disinfectant all the time.” He shrugs and Leeteuk nods, still not quite understanding what was going on.
He grew sick of smelling it, of the familiar sight, the familiar failure, he’s tired. It was hard. Sometimes, he needed fresh air, he needed to break away.
“Sorry, I just needed to get away from it.”
Leeteuk laughs, too loudly but it was a happy laugh, a carefree one. “You could have just said you wanted to get out. I thought there was something wrong.” Leeteuk said, the caring Leeteuk, Leeteuk who cared for everyone, the oldest of his friends, the one whose parents trusted with their precious kids.
“Deciding which movie to watch is very crucial,” Kangin comment. The busy streets, the horns didn’t stay as the background noise anymore; it was louder, much louder. He stared at the cars, the brakes screeching, coercion with the ice. It was disturbing, but he grew use to it every year. The snow falls, the ice forms, everything gets slippery, it’s easier to fall.
“So what movie do you like?”
He doesn’t know how this happened, how this formed, this bond. He would like to call it a tryst, a friendly tryst but there was this strange thing lurking, call it something other than friendly. Kangin doesn’t like it.
“I don’t know, I just want to go out.”
“So you called me out here because you’re bored?” He could see Leeteuk face-palming.
“More or less,” Kangin laughed, “It’s good to stop studying once in a while.”
“I need this scholarship, my marks need-”
“I have a scholarship to keep too, but over-studying isn’t good.”
“I know-”
“Excuse me-” People pushed through, rather rudely-“Hey, watch it.” He spat out through gritted teeth.
The streets started to grow busy as the holiday approached. People started to get jumpy, tipsy, pressured from the holiday. Students, high schools, colleges and universities had exams, workers had extra work, and the kids were the only ones enjoying the holiday. A holiday meant having fun but for us, the adults, it meant more work. Funny how the meaning differs so greatly.
A woman walks forward, almost crashing into us. Leeteuk seems slow, his reflexes failing. Kangin pulls Leeteuk back from the woman carrying her groceries. The plastic bag rips, the fruits, the vegetables, everything seep out of the hole. It turns into a mess, a cacophony.
Leeteuk, the caring being he is, warns her. “Hey miss-” He takes a step forward, a lending hand already extended.
Kangin notice something, his eyes grow big at it. It was an immediate effect-Kangin steps out to stop Leeteuk, to help him. “Leeteuk, watch out - Are you okay?!” Too late.
*~*
The snow is beautiful, it covered the city with a soft veil, it prettified it. It also made ice, that disgusting thing. It made the roads more sleek, it made more accidents, the number of patients at the hospital increased during this season. Leeteuk was one of them.
His fingers folded into a fist, then it unravelled, then it folded into a fist again. Kangin was anxious, beyond that even. He wasn’t the usual Kangin. He didn’t recognize himself.
“Youngwoon? What are you doing here?” He turns around, hoping that it was Leeteuk but it wasn’t. It’s a nurse, Jooyeon, Yoonji’s nurse.
He smiled, “Hey Jooyeon. My friend got into an accident, that’s all.”
“I thought you’re here to see Yoonji, but I guess not-” She laughs, rather innocently-“Well, I hope your friend is okay.”
Whenever Kangin was at the hospital, people would always assume it was for Yoonji, it usually is. He didn’t hate that though, Yoonji and him were always together, so it’s expected. But now, he can’t help but feel burden. Kangin wonders if he wanders outside alone, would people question why he wasn’t with her? Or where she was? He wonders if he would always have to be with her. He didn’t like that.
Then, the nurse suddenly steps out from behind the curtain. “Nurse, how is he?!” Kangin jumps out of his seat, and the person initially beside him scowls at the sudden jerk.
“What’s your friend’s name?” He frowns at the word ‘friend.’
“Park Jungsoo.”
“Mister, he’s-”
“Youngwoon.” Kangin turn around; Leeteuk was standing there, his coat over his shoulders, a bandaged wrist.
Leeteuk reaches out to help, to help the lady before anything happens-like someone stealing her fruits, or the lady slipping. But something happens, but it’s none of the latter that happens, not to her at least. He feels his leg slip on something-ice or the fruits- he sees the world in a strange angle, and a searing pain hits his wrist as it comes in contact with the sidewalk.
“I think you need to go to the hospital,” Leeteuk wince at the mentions of the hospital. It seems like they were bounded to the hospital in some sort of way. Leeteuk didn’t like it, but who were they to fight against fate.
Kangin ran over, almost too hastily. “Are you okay?” He holds onto Leeteuk's arm, tighter than he would have liked or expected. Leeteuk flinches at the sudden intimacy. Leeteuk looks uncomfortable under Kangin’s gaze as Kangin looks at him more closely, to see if Leeteuk was wounded or hurt in any way. Kangin notice the slight blush on his face and pulls away, in embarrassment.
“I’m okay,” Leeteuk reaches to scratch his head with his bandaged wrist-stops and winces a bit. “Really.”
“I guess no movies today then.”
“You think?” He stands awkwardly.
“A walk in the park would do,” Kangin offers a dim smile, it seems to be enough for Leeteuk.
“Wait, I have to go pay for the medical stuff.”
“I already paid for you.”
“I’ll pay you back,” Leeteuk reaches into his pocket, Kangin stops him.
“You don’t have to, and it’s partially my fault, if I didn’t suggest-”
“It’s not your fault,” Leeteuk remarks, “But I think I have to go to the washroom first.”
“Okay, I’ll wait here.” Kangin watch Leeteuk leave and he turn back to his seat. Jooyeon was still standing there, and from the impassive look on her face, she saw them. Kangin couldn’t stop the shame as it rushes over him, drowning him. He found it difficult to breathe, and he wanted to drown in it forever. But life wasn’t fair. He could feel embarrass, but only he would feel embarrass, no one else would. If he wanted to run, he couldn’t, people would stare at him, in disgust, in disgrace.
“Youngwoon.”
“Yes, Jooyeon?” Kangin ignore the warning in her voice.
“I hope you visit Yoonji soon,” she smiles, too warm for his liking. Then she gives him a courteous nod, and walks off into the direction of Yoonji’s room, where he should be heading.
He stares at her figure, disappearing. He thinks she knows, she knows about his "friendship" with Leeteuk. She was warning him about something, something he doesn’t want to think about. It was too complicated and headache inducing. There wasn’t anything worth warning him about so he shrugged it off.
Then Leeteuk came out from the washroom, him oblivious to all of this. Kangin wanted it to stay that way.
Leeteuk looks surprise. “Let’s go, Kangin.”
Like that, they switch from Jungsoo and Youngwoon to Leeteuk and Kangin.
*~*
“So, your replacement of a movie is to go to a park and watch the snow fall?” Leeteuk chuckles, but extends his hand out for the snowflake to nestle on his glove.
“It’s snowing a lot lately, don’t you think?”
Leeteuk nods, “It could be a good thing.”
“It looks nice, but it’s cold to the touch,” Kangin feels the frostiness seeping through his gloves and sending frosty bites to his palm. He didn’t shrivel away at the feeling; he wanted to warm up to it.
“Then watching it is fine, you don’t need to feel it.” Leeteuk sounded different, he seemed different. Leeteuk reminded him of Jooyeon, with her warning. These subtle messages never work, they were either hard to understand or too easy to pretend that he didn’t notice or see.
“But it seems so cruel, just watching something so beautiful but you have to restrain yourself.” Kangin shrugs.
“Restrain yourself?”
“Don’t you want to be a part of something beautiful? Tempting?” Kangin ask, reaching out again, seeing if the snow would ever land on his palm, to grace his presence.
“It’s tempting, but it’s a matter of resisting it.” Leeteuk looks at him, strangely, but with knowledge. Valuable knowledge.
“One’s resistance sometimes strain.”
Leeteuk sighs. “It’s easier to resist if one has something worth it, worth a person to resist for so long.” Kangin thinks everyone has ‘something worth resisting for.’ Leeteuk pulls his hand back, far from the snow.
Kangin laughs, gauchely. “I feel like we’re not talking about the snow anymore.”
“It’s a pretext.” None of them ask what it was a pretext for. They already knew.
*~*
“Jungsoo?”
Leeteuk looked up from his arms to Heechul. “Hmm?”
“What’s bothering you?” He pulls a chair from his desk and drags it to Leeteuk’s bed.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing my ass. I’ve been calling you for exactly-” He steals a glance at his watch, “24 seconds now. The first time was three Leeteuks and one Jungsoo.”
“I think my friendship isn’t a friendship anymore.” The memories replay, over and over again. Scenes of how they first met, to their steady friendship until today. Leeteuk always knew that Kangin and him would match, but he didn’t think it would border on anything other than friendship. One-sided love is always tragic; Kangin’s girlfriend added more to the tragedy.
“I don’t think it ever was,” Heechul jeers.
“Thanks Heechul,” Leeteuk reply bitterly, much to Heechul’s laughter.
“I tried giving you warnings.”
“You can’t give warnings about things like this, the person’s practically blind.”
“You mean you’re blind.”
Leeteuk curls up his knees and hug them. “I don’t know, it feels wrong to be near him. He has a girlfriend for heaven’s sake.”
“Love-”
“It’s not love.”
“Well, whatever you feel for this stranger then, I don’t think you should be ashamed of it but happy that you could experience it.”
“I know, I should but I’m practically a ‘third party.’” Leeteuk made air quotes.
“Well, you didn’t know, and I’m not saying it’s a good thing either but it seems like he feels the same way. It’s a miracle when two people like each other. So, you should cherish it.”
“So, you’re telling me to go after this man, even if I’m the third party? It seems-” Leeteuk bites his bottom lip, “Selfish.”
“We’re all selfish, you’re just too kind.” Heechul replies.
Heechul watches as Jungsoo lets the words sink in. He doesn’t know the true meaning of ‘selfish.’ Just because someone knows the definition of it, it doesn’t mean they understand it. Jungsoo didn’t understand it. He’s too kind and likes to complicate things. If he likes Kangin, then pursue this love. Love is a selfish thing. Heechul understands that.
“Jungsoo, when I tell you things, I’m not thinking for Kangin or his girlfriend, I’m thinking for you. I want you to be happy.”
“I know, but I’m not like that. I can’t just think of myself, Chul.”
“Sometimes, I wish you did. You’d be a lot happier.”
*~*
“You’re not going to see your mystery man?” Heechul teases. He expected to come face-to-face with a pillow or Jungsoo’s timid laughter but instead, it’s Jungsoo shaking his head.
“No, I’m going to set things right.” Even if it doesn’t make me happy. His eyes add.
He nods, understanding him. Jungsoo chose Kangin over himself.
This happens for a few days, then it turns into a week. Soon enough, Jungsoo starts turning off his phone with the excuse, “I need to study.” Heechul knew that it was a lie, everyone knew, even naïve Ryeowook.
After a week and few days, Heechul decides that it has to end. Jungsoo has to be happy.
-------
I don't know if anyone still reads this, I apologize for the time it took to update this. If anyone still does, and I promise to give you a spot in this, please tell me if you're still interested ^^ I made some changes to the summary and the format as a way to signify a new start sort of :3
I thank you for sticking by this fanfic for so long.
-Deleaah