RP LOG with cutandlearn | Meet the Parent
It had been one extremely long day and it was now after eleven pm at night. Bella had just spent the last hour and a half talking with Serena and Drew in her office, discussing various options and outcomes in regards to Chris and Rick. Rick had given consent for Bella to access copies of Chris' medical records so she could keep up on his case. Seeing Chris in the condition he had been and after the failed attempt to contact Mrs Deleo, Serena had been in a bad way, almost losing it from worry and lack of sleep. Bella ended up intercepting so she could just talk to Chris' girlfriend and help her at least a little. It seemed to help being able to talk about it and Serena offloaded a little. There was some inevitable guilt there, that she hadn't remained in the OR with him, among other things. But even by the time they finished chatting, Serena was still on edge. Drew had gone off to find some coffee when Serena refused to leave Chris' side just yet, so Bella agreed to keep her company until he returned.
Only, they were just stepping off the elevators at the Surgical ICU when Bella's pager went off. It was one of Rick's nurses. He wasn't feeling well, and Bella needed to assess him. She did have a slight hint of suspicion that it might be just a ruse to get her to his room, but at the same time, he was still too soon post-operatively to take any risks. With a soft squeeze to Serena's arm, she apologised and promised she would be back as soon as she could, leaving Serena standing alone in the corridor... the first time she had been alone since everything took a horrible turn.
Carla's head was aching. It was like it was one of the worst headaches she had ever experienced in her life. After her talk with Dave, the young surgeon eventually had to excuse himself, admitting everything was getting too much and he needed some air. Carla figured that was code for needing a bit of time alone with his girlfriend if he could track her down, and although she really was at a loss how she would cope sitting in Chris' hospital room with nothing to do but stare at his supine unmoving form, and listening to all those beeps, she knew she had to assure Dave she would be fine. She was far from fine, though, and the room got oppressive. The more she stared at the digital numbers ticking over on the screen and watched Chris' pale face that had no response, the more she felt like she was going to go crazy. She needed air herself, or maybe even to just go back to check on Rick. What else was she supposed to do other than just go back and forth between her two sons?
She was close to tears again as she hurried around the corner with her head down, just needing to get away from all those beeps before she cracked up. Only, all she succeeded in doing was banging straight into someone standing right in the middle of the corridor, and it was a miracle they both managed to remain on their feet.
Serena had a burst of pain that seemed to take over her whole body and combined with the lack of sleep, guilt, and worry eating her up she snapped. She nearly growled in response to being smacked into and couldn't help but automatically vent her frustration. "Can't you just watch where you're going?! Is the corridor really that goddamn small that you can't manage to walk anywhere else other than right into me?" She glared at the older woman, not even backing down when she noticed the other blonde was in tears. She was so blinded by her emotions that she didn't even notice any sort of resemblance to her boyfriend, or the fact that she had come out of Chris' room. Serena could only think about getting back to Chris. She'd left him alone in the OR, but she wasn't going to leave him alone for too long in the ICU.
Carla was so shocked at being yelled at out of the blue that for a moment, all she could do was just gape at the small blonde girl screaming at her. She couldn't be more than high school age, and although Carla was a high school teacher and saw all sorts, she couldn't believe the disrespect. "Excuse me for not realising that standing stupidly in the middle of a public walkway was a new past time," she snapped back, piercing the girl with a firm and chasting look. She was the mother of two fiery boys and a school teacher. She had the look down. "In a unit full of extremely ill people, I am astounded at your lack of consideration and understanding. But please, if you actually own this corridor, feel free to put up a big flashing sign declaring to the world that it belongs entirely to a spoilt little girl!" She brushed the tears away from her cheeks angrily, really not remembering the last time her temper had gotten the better of her like this, but she didn't back down once she realised she had just snapped right back.
"Hey, I am not a little girl! I am so sick of people assuming that I'm not capable of anything because I look young. I'm a trauma doctor. In fact, I'm on one the best trauma teams in this hospital, and maybe I am standing in the middle of the walkway but after the last couple days I've had I don't think I can really be blamed for that right now." Serena hugged her arms tightly around herself and silently cursed Bella for leaving her alone. She didn't want to be alone. She pictured Chris lying in his hospital bed and her bottom lip started to tremble, but she still clung to her anger since any emotion was better than the utter despair she felt at the idea of losing her boyfriend.
"Well I have one son with cancer and another who nearly died trying to save his life! Sometimes people could really do without being screamed at for--" Carla stopped abruptly when her brain caught up with her mouth. Tears were streaming down her face when they spilled over in full force again, and she only just absorbed what the girl had said. There was nothing else to do but just stare in shock as she tried to wipe the wetness from her cheeks with her fingertips. "Oh my god, it's you," she gasped through another small sob.
Serena's mouth had already fallen open as she listened to the woman, the dots finally connecting. Mrs Deleo looked like Rick, but she could see bits of Chris in her. And now Serena's cheeks warmed instantly from embarrassment. She'd just screamed at her maybe-possibly-at-some-point-in-the-future-mother-in-law. She'd gone to all the trouble to try and call her to get her here for her sons, and now she had just yelled at her for no reason than she needed to release some of the tension holding her body hostage. Serena clapped her hand over her mouth and let out a choked sob. Even more guilt washed over her and she seriously considered trying to hide under one of the chairs lining the walls. "Oh my god... I'm so sorry. I'm--I'm... Shit."
Carla felt torn in about a billion different directions. This was Chris' girlfriend? The one both Rick and Dave sung the praises of? For some reason, Carla was really struggling to see that. It was hard to just ignore the fact she had just abused Carla in the corridor only a few paces from where Chris was lying fighting for his life. Then she couldn't help be momentarily stuck on how young this Serena really did look. The blonde and blue-eyed appearance wasn't a surprise to Carla at all. Chris always liked blonde, where Rick had a tendency to lean towards brunettes. The chalk and cheese factor all over again. It took a lot for her not to give Serena another cold look and just walk away. There was no rule saying she had to approve of the woman just because everyone else did, but instead she just stepped forward and put her arms around the girl and gave her a soft hug.
Serena was confused at first, not sure how to take the hug. Surely Carla should have been chewing her out by now for being such a rude bitch? But then it just felt nice to get a mom hug. She was desperate for a hug from her own mom and it just made her lose it. The choked sob turned into heartbreaking ones and even if Carla meant for the hug to be soft, Serena just clung to her. Mrs Deleo smelt nice and she really wasn't what Serena had been expecting. Chris hardly spoke about her, so for some reason she had been worried his mom would be like the dad, but she wasn't at all. She was beautiful and she felt warm and motherly.
"It's okay, sweetheart," Carla told Serena quietly and rubbed her back. "I know how much it hurts..." she added, the words catching in her throat. She kept picturing Chris lying there so sick. Even just seeing that tube down his throat, it took all her effort not to tear it out because it looked so unnatural and uncomfortable. She wanted him to wake up so she could see his beautiful blue eyes. His eyes always said so much and she would know how he was to look at them. It still hurt that Chris hadn't told her that he was in a relationship, but he wasn't awake right now to call the shots. Rick had kept insisting that this girl was something pretty damn special to Chris, and for that, Carla couldn't deny anything on the face of it. She just still needed to know more. Chris had to have had reasons for hiding so much lately.
Serena tried to slow the sobbing down and on top of yelling at the poor woman, she'd now snotted all over her shirt. She was sure she couldn't make a worse impression on Mrs Deleo if she tried. She didn't even know the woman's first name. She pulled back to wipe at her cheeks and nose, careful to use her left before she offered her right in a handshake. "I'm Serena Warren. I really am sorry about yelling at you, it's just been impossible to sleep and I haven't been able to bring myself to leave the hospital. I just... I was in the OR when Chris--when he--" Serena tripped over the word 'crashed' and had to take a deep breath. "I can't stop seeing him lying there... I'm just glad you're here. I really thought they needed their mom."
By now, Carla's handbag had ended up quite stocked with tissues. One of the nurses had brought her more small packs of them after witnessing Carla with Rick and both of them crying. She was once again pulling a pack from her bag and handed them to Serena before taking some for herself. She wiped her eyes and then took Serena's hand weakly. She knew the whole firm handshake thing, but right now, she just didn't have the energy. "Carla Deleo. It's nice to meet you Serena. I seem to have heard a lot about you in the short time I have been in the Miami district. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about before because I only found out you existed a few hours ago. That's... a common occurence with my boys. With Rick, anyway. Chris, not so much. This is all a learning curve. I have no idea how I'm supposed to take any of it. I-I don't know what to think. In fact, I think I'm mostly incapable of anything but numb anxiety right now."
Serena wasn't exactly feeling strong with her handshake either, but it was the thought that counted. She took the tissues from Carla gratefully and pulled them open to get one out. "Nice to meet you too, Carla, even if I'm about ready to die of embarrassment. I wish I could just start this moment over again. I never meant for this to be a secret from you, and it probably won't make you feel better to hear that my folks aren't any more in the light than you are. Were. I want to apologise too for just calling you out of nowhere, but I had Chris' phone and I was talking to my brother while we were waiting to find out if Chris would survive the surgery and I thought... You needed to be here. Rick needed you, and Chris needed you. It's a lot to take in so the numb anxiety is understandable. I don't think I'll feel okay until Chris is awake."
"That I find hard to believe. Thank you for trying to placate me, but I know the reasons Chris hasn't told me would be very different to the reasons you haven't told your parents. Rick told me a little information that he could. They seem to forget sometimes that I know them better than I know myself a lot of the time. I gave birth to them, I know what the little expressions on their faces mean, I know when they're happy or sad or hurting. I know that when Chris gets anxious, he makes himself sick. I know when Rick feels helpless in a situation, he runs because that's easier than facing feeling like he can't help. I know that when my baby boy laughs, he gets this cheeky glint in his eyes, and I know when my first born is up to something, his nose scrunches up just a little when he smirks about it. Just somewhere along the way, we slipped and we grew apart. They stopped needing me as much as I needed them. They grew up," Carla said tearfully with a slight laugh as she wiped her eyes again. "I just never thought I would one day be on the end of a phone call like I was from you and your brother."
Serena offered her a watery smile before she used the tissue to try and dry her eyes. Listening to Carla speak made Serena realise she really did love her boys, and now she just wondered why Rick and Chris would keep her at a distance. If they were trying to protect her, it really was a backwards way of going about it. "A secret can just run away from you when it gets started. You get so used to not talking to anyone about it, that it's easy to forget that your parents are the only ones you can always talk to about anything." Serena tucked the tissues into the pocket of her jeans and reached out to touch Carla's arm gently. "I never wanted to be the one making a call like that one, trust me."
Carla's face crumbled again and she pressed the tissue against her eyes to try and catch the tears before they fell. "I don't care about secrets. I'm not upset with either of them, I just want them to be okay. I don't want my baby boy lying in a coma with no one able to even tell me if he has a chance of making it until morning. If one more person tells me he is doing better than he was in the surgery, I will hit them! I can deduce for myself that the fact he is not bleeding to death is 'better', but that does not mean he is going to be okay! He's cold and no one will give him more blankets. They keep saying he isn't feeling pain, but how do they know? How do they know he isn't, and just can't tell them about it? I can't take this. It should be me, not Chris. It should have been me!" she sobbed.
Serena watched Chris' mom fall apart before she moved in to give her a gentle hug. This was one thing she was never going to get used to as a doctor, but this wasn't just anyone's family. It was Chris'. Serena just kept her mouth shut for the moment before she came out with the useless, cliched drivel she usually saved for the family of patients. Chris also wasn't her patient, he was her lover. "The truth is us doctors don't ever like committing to certainties. It's kinda like walking under under a bridge on Friday the 13th. It's just one of those things that can guarantee anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. The surgeons were just starting to gloat about how great the transplant went right before Chris crashed. They're not going to say if he will survive until morning because anything really could happen. They fixed the damage, and he has been stable most of the night so the chances are pretty high that he'll be okay."
Carla nodded as she listened. She wasn't just going to keep offloading onto Serena when the girl was going through so much of her own. But it was still all choked up inside her and it felt hard to even remain upright. "I can't even hug him," she said through a rough gasp of breath. "I can't. They said I can't. Dave... he said I can hold his hand, but I can't hug him. There can't even be any assurances that Rick is going to survive the cancer. Cancer. My boy has cancer."
"I know... It's all I want to do to Chris as well. I'm amazed my hand hasn't welded to his, but then you still need to be able to get to hold it." There was a strange feeling washing over Serena when she realised she didn't just have Chris to herself any more. Of course Dave had been to visit, but there was no one like Carla around. His mom was less likely to leave his side unless it was to visit Rick. It was stupid, and Serena knew she was being selfish even as she had the thoughts. "The transplant gives Rick a really good chance at survival - which I know is probably something you've heard over and over again, but it's true. He needed the healthy organ to keep his body functioning as normal as possible. If he'd been on dialysis it would have taken a lot out of him when he was having the chemo. This way Rick can fight."
Carla was watching Serena intently, even if her eyes were still red and teary. She swallowed heavily and was dragging more tissues from the packet. "I think Rick has a crush on his doctor. Is that even normal? Maybe you should answer that. I'm not exactly up to speed on medical ethics. Apparently Chris shouldn't be falling for one of his residents either. I dream of the day that he'll give his heart to someone, but I just wish it didn't have to all be so hard. They've been through so, so much pain already. This should never have happened to them. I should have protected them."
Serena indicated some seats lining the corridor for Carla and her to sit on. "Well, projection is something that can happen, but, um, to be completely honest I'm not sure that Rick's projecting. I think he genuinely likes Bella. Maybe it's not a normal thing, but you can't always judge when a connection's going to be made. Like with me and Chris. It just... happened. Bella's very professional, though. She's a good doctor." Serena bit down on her lip before she had a chance to spill the pregnancy secret and tugged nervously on the sleeve of her cardigan. "They were too busy trying to protect you instead of thinking about how you could protect them."
Carla sat down and her feet felt like they started to tingle just from the sheer relief of being off them. She hunched forward and started to anxiously tear at the tissues a little, her hands shaking. "They've always been like that. Chris especially. Rick was more the ostrich of the family. Get the hell out of there as quick as he can to find some sand to bury his head into. Probably involving alcohol, women and getting in bar fights. Chris always wanted to try and get in the middle and rescue me, but he was never really able to. His father... he... I would say he didn't have a good relationship with him, but they really had no relationship at all. Not when his father was drunk. He seemed to use Chris as a scapegoat for blaming everything on. When he was sober and off the booze, they got along okay. Chris always tried to forge a relationship, just like with Rick, but he always ended up getting kicked in the teeth when his father fell off the wagon again. Chris was always more like me, see. Their father struggled to understand how a flesh and blood son of his could be so different to him..."
Serena sat down beside Carla, perched on the edge of her chair. She couldn't help it. She was restless even if she was tired. Not to mention the nerves she was feeling at even having a conversation with Carla Deleo. This was Chris' mom. She wanted to make a good impression but right now she wasn't even sure she could remember her own name half of the time. "He really doesn't like talking about his dad. I guess I can't really blame him from what I've heard. He's told me a little. He's still like that. He's the genius cowboy. He's legendary around here. He's a really amazing trauma surgeon. He's... He's something to watch. Him and Rick have worked really hard to get back on track, to get a relationship. I don't think it'll ever happen with his dad."
Carla bit down on her lower lip and swallowed heavily as she shook her head. "Chris won't ever have anything to do with his father. He... something happened and he swore he never would again. Since that day, he won't even talk about him unless it's brought up in conversation for some reason. He'll do that fancy sidestepping in a conversation he can be so good at. He's straight about most things in life, but that's not one of them. I think it's a lot of why he wanted to have some sort of something with Rick, because he never really had much of a father." She hesitated for a moment and then reached to take Serena's hand and gave it a soft squeeze with a tiny, faint smile. "I know he's amazing. Some days I'm in awe he even came out of me. I feel that way about both of them. Gorgeous boys. I'm very blessed. I just... I miss them so much."
"Maybe you could stay," Serena suggested as she looked from their joined hands to Carla's face. "They're going to need you. Chris asked me to move in with him, and Rick's staying with him. I can always just stay at my apartment with my brother if you wanted to be there with them. I think it's important you're there. You're their mom. It's time to stop missing them..."
Carla wet her lips and shook her head with a small smile. "No... no... I can see they're in good hands here. They have a large support network and I'm not going to intrude on that. Besides, I need to go back to work. I still need an income. School's not long gone back and my students need me. I'll stay in a hotel for a few days... I'll stay until Chris wakes up and I can see with my own eyes that he is okay. But no one needs their mom hanging around and cramping their style."
Serena shook her head again as she shifted to fish out Chris' set of keys from her jeans pocket. She held them out for Carla. "Stay at Chris'. Please. Don't pay for a hotel, that's just stupid. He wouldn't want you paying for one either, I'm sure of it. It's not like I'll be going back there much. I'll just catch sleep when I can."
Carla wasn't going to take the keys and insist on her original plan when a keychain dangling between the keys caught her eye. She took them off Serena and turned the bundle over in her palm to get a better look. It was a small perspex photoframe with a picture of Chris and Serena. One of those sort that were taken candidly in a photo booth. Chris was kissing her cheek and she was laughing happily, like he had taken her by surprise with it. With a tiny glance back up at Serena, Carla went back to looking at the picture of her youngest. He looked so happy... happy quite unlike she had ever seen before, and she realised she was maybe seeing for the first time ever, evidence that her son was finally in love. She had never been convinced before that it was something he had truly experienced. "You should get some sleep and rest," she advised quietly. "Or he'll be pissed off to wake up and find you looking like hell."
The keychain had been a big part of why Serena had been hanging onto her boyfriend's keys. She loved the photo, and it had been one of the first things that Chris had done when they'd gone public. Serena wasn't just wallet photo material, she was keychain material. It had made her giggle and comment on Chris' dorkiness but the truth was she loved it. She loved him. She reached up to rub her hand over her face and gave a nod. "Not that he'll be in much position to judge, you're right. Plus I did promise Drew... At least I know Chris will be in good hands with you here. I'm sorry about how the phone call went down, and what happened before. It really is nice to meet you, Mrs Deleo."
With a small smile, Carla handed her son's keys back to his girlfriend. "... it was nice to meet you too, despite the start," she murmured. She really didn't know what she was going to do next. Probably hang around the halls not too far from either boys' hospital room and drink a lot of coffee to keep herself going. She wasn't going to rest easy until she knew Rick's system had truly accepted that kidney, and until Chris woke up and she could speak to him. She let out a shaky breath and stood up. "I should... go make sure David went home. He said he would. Can't ever really shake being a mom at heart. Thank you for taking care of my baby. I'm sure he couldn't be in better hands, even if I know he'll always keep you on your toes."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Serena revealed as she stood up as well and gave Carla a brief hug. She glanced back towards Chris' room and pointed her thumb behind her. "I think I might just go and say goodbye to him... Just one last check up. Can't shake being a doctor at heart either. Just let me know if you change your mind about staying that the apartment, okay?" She gave Carla a small wave before she turned on her heels and made her way to her boyfriend's room. It was going to be hard to drag herself away from the hospital, but she knew her brother would be doing cartwheels to hear that she was going home to rest and sleep. Even if she would still be replaying the meeting with Mrs Deleo over and over as she internally kicked herself.
Word Count | 4,693
Only, they were just stepping off the elevators at the Surgical ICU when Bella's pager went off. It was one of Rick's nurses. He wasn't feeling well, and Bella needed to assess him. She did have a slight hint of suspicion that it might be just a ruse to get her to his room, but at the same time, he was still too soon post-operatively to take any risks. With a soft squeeze to Serena's arm, she apologised and promised she would be back as soon as she could, leaving Serena standing alone in the corridor... the first time she had been alone since everything took a horrible turn.
Carla's head was aching. It was like it was one of the worst headaches she had ever experienced in her life. After her talk with Dave, the young surgeon eventually had to excuse himself, admitting everything was getting too much and he needed some air. Carla figured that was code for needing a bit of time alone with his girlfriend if he could track her down, and although she really was at a loss how she would cope sitting in Chris' hospital room with nothing to do but stare at his supine unmoving form, and listening to all those beeps, she knew she had to assure Dave she would be fine. She was far from fine, though, and the room got oppressive. The more she stared at the digital numbers ticking over on the screen and watched Chris' pale face that had no response, the more she felt like she was going to go crazy. She needed air herself, or maybe even to just go back to check on Rick. What else was she supposed to do other than just go back and forth between her two sons?
She was close to tears again as she hurried around the corner with her head down, just needing to get away from all those beeps before she cracked up. Only, all she succeeded in doing was banging straight into someone standing right in the middle of the corridor, and it was a miracle they both managed to remain on their feet.
Serena had a burst of pain that seemed to take over her whole body and combined with the lack of sleep, guilt, and worry eating her up she snapped. She nearly growled in response to being smacked into and couldn't help but automatically vent her frustration. "Can't you just watch where you're going?! Is the corridor really that goddamn small that you can't manage to walk anywhere else other than right into me?" She glared at the older woman, not even backing down when she noticed the other blonde was in tears. She was so blinded by her emotions that she didn't even notice any sort of resemblance to her boyfriend, or the fact that she had come out of Chris' room. Serena could only think about getting back to Chris. She'd left him alone in the OR, but she wasn't going to leave him alone for too long in the ICU.
Carla was so shocked at being yelled at out of the blue that for a moment, all she could do was just gape at the small blonde girl screaming at her. She couldn't be more than high school age, and although Carla was a high school teacher and saw all sorts, she couldn't believe the disrespect. "Excuse me for not realising that standing stupidly in the middle of a public walkway was a new past time," she snapped back, piercing the girl with a firm and chasting look. She was the mother of two fiery boys and a school teacher. She had the look down. "In a unit full of extremely ill people, I am astounded at your lack of consideration and understanding. But please, if you actually own this corridor, feel free to put up a big flashing sign declaring to the world that it belongs entirely to a spoilt little girl!" She brushed the tears away from her cheeks angrily, really not remembering the last time her temper had gotten the better of her like this, but she didn't back down once she realised she had just snapped right back.
"Hey, I am not a little girl! I am so sick of people assuming that I'm not capable of anything because I look young. I'm a trauma doctor. In fact, I'm on one the best trauma teams in this hospital, and maybe I am standing in the middle of the walkway but after the last couple days I've had I don't think I can really be blamed for that right now." Serena hugged her arms tightly around herself and silently cursed Bella for leaving her alone. She didn't want to be alone. She pictured Chris lying in his hospital bed and her bottom lip started to tremble, but she still clung to her anger since any emotion was better than the utter despair she felt at the idea of losing her boyfriend.
"Well I have one son with cancer and another who nearly died trying to save his life! Sometimes people could really do without being screamed at for--" Carla stopped abruptly when her brain caught up with her mouth. Tears were streaming down her face when they spilled over in full force again, and she only just absorbed what the girl had said. There was nothing else to do but just stare in shock as she tried to wipe the wetness from her cheeks with her fingertips. "Oh my god, it's you," she gasped through another small sob.
Serena's mouth had already fallen open as she listened to the woman, the dots finally connecting. Mrs Deleo looked like Rick, but she could see bits of Chris in her. And now Serena's cheeks warmed instantly from embarrassment. She'd just screamed at her maybe-possibly-at-some-point-in-the-future-mother-in-law. She'd gone to all the trouble to try and call her to get her here for her sons, and now she had just yelled at her for no reason than she needed to release some of the tension holding her body hostage. Serena clapped her hand over her mouth and let out a choked sob. Even more guilt washed over her and she seriously considered trying to hide under one of the chairs lining the walls. "Oh my god... I'm so sorry. I'm--I'm... Shit."
Carla felt torn in about a billion different directions. This was Chris' girlfriend? The one both Rick and Dave sung the praises of? For some reason, Carla was really struggling to see that. It was hard to just ignore the fact she had just abused Carla in the corridor only a few paces from where Chris was lying fighting for his life. Then she couldn't help be momentarily stuck on how young this Serena really did look. The blonde and blue-eyed appearance wasn't a surprise to Carla at all. Chris always liked blonde, where Rick had a tendency to lean towards brunettes. The chalk and cheese factor all over again. It took a lot for her not to give Serena another cold look and just walk away. There was no rule saying she had to approve of the woman just because everyone else did, but instead she just stepped forward and put her arms around the girl and gave her a soft hug.
Serena was confused at first, not sure how to take the hug. Surely Carla should have been chewing her out by now for being such a rude bitch? But then it just felt nice to get a mom hug. She was desperate for a hug from her own mom and it just made her lose it. The choked sob turned into heartbreaking ones and even if Carla meant for the hug to be soft, Serena just clung to her. Mrs Deleo smelt nice and she really wasn't what Serena had been expecting. Chris hardly spoke about her, so for some reason she had been worried his mom would be like the dad, but she wasn't at all. She was beautiful and she felt warm and motherly.
"It's okay, sweetheart," Carla told Serena quietly and rubbed her back. "I know how much it hurts..." she added, the words catching in her throat. She kept picturing Chris lying there so sick. Even just seeing that tube down his throat, it took all her effort not to tear it out because it looked so unnatural and uncomfortable. She wanted him to wake up so she could see his beautiful blue eyes. His eyes always said so much and she would know how he was to look at them. It still hurt that Chris hadn't told her that he was in a relationship, but he wasn't awake right now to call the shots. Rick had kept insisting that this girl was something pretty damn special to Chris, and for that, Carla couldn't deny anything on the face of it. She just still needed to know more. Chris had to have had reasons for hiding so much lately.
Serena tried to slow the sobbing down and on top of yelling at the poor woman, she'd now snotted all over her shirt. She was sure she couldn't make a worse impression on Mrs Deleo if she tried. She didn't even know the woman's first name. She pulled back to wipe at her cheeks and nose, careful to use her left before she offered her right in a handshake. "I'm Serena Warren. I really am sorry about yelling at you, it's just been impossible to sleep and I haven't been able to bring myself to leave the hospital. I just... I was in the OR when Chris--when he--" Serena tripped over the word 'crashed' and had to take a deep breath. "I can't stop seeing him lying there... I'm just glad you're here. I really thought they needed their mom."
By now, Carla's handbag had ended up quite stocked with tissues. One of the nurses had brought her more small packs of them after witnessing Carla with Rick and both of them crying. She was once again pulling a pack from her bag and handed them to Serena before taking some for herself. She wiped her eyes and then took Serena's hand weakly. She knew the whole firm handshake thing, but right now, she just didn't have the energy. "Carla Deleo. It's nice to meet you Serena. I seem to have heard a lot about you in the short time I have been in the Miami district. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about before because I only found out you existed a few hours ago. That's... a common occurence with my boys. With Rick, anyway. Chris, not so much. This is all a learning curve. I have no idea how I'm supposed to take any of it. I-I don't know what to think. In fact, I think I'm mostly incapable of anything but numb anxiety right now."
Serena wasn't exactly feeling strong with her handshake either, but it was the thought that counted. She took the tissues from Carla gratefully and pulled them open to get one out. "Nice to meet you too, Carla, even if I'm about ready to die of embarrassment. I wish I could just start this moment over again. I never meant for this to be a secret from you, and it probably won't make you feel better to hear that my folks aren't any more in the light than you are. Were. I want to apologise too for just calling you out of nowhere, but I had Chris' phone and I was talking to my brother while we were waiting to find out if Chris would survive the surgery and I thought... You needed to be here. Rick needed you, and Chris needed you. It's a lot to take in so the numb anxiety is understandable. I don't think I'll feel okay until Chris is awake."
"That I find hard to believe. Thank you for trying to placate me, but I know the reasons Chris hasn't told me would be very different to the reasons you haven't told your parents. Rick told me a little information that he could. They seem to forget sometimes that I know them better than I know myself a lot of the time. I gave birth to them, I know what the little expressions on their faces mean, I know when they're happy or sad or hurting. I know that when Chris gets anxious, he makes himself sick. I know when Rick feels helpless in a situation, he runs because that's easier than facing feeling like he can't help. I know that when my baby boy laughs, he gets this cheeky glint in his eyes, and I know when my first born is up to something, his nose scrunches up just a little when he smirks about it. Just somewhere along the way, we slipped and we grew apart. They stopped needing me as much as I needed them. They grew up," Carla said tearfully with a slight laugh as she wiped her eyes again. "I just never thought I would one day be on the end of a phone call like I was from you and your brother."
Serena offered her a watery smile before she used the tissue to try and dry her eyes. Listening to Carla speak made Serena realise she really did love her boys, and now she just wondered why Rick and Chris would keep her at a distance. If they were trying to protect her, it really was a backwards way of going about it. "A secret can just run away from you when it gets started. You get so used to not talking to anyone about it, that it's easy to forget that your parents are the only ones you can always talk to about anything." Serena tucked the tissues into the pocket of her jeans and reached out to touch Carla's arm gently. "I never wanted to be the one making a call like that one, trust me."
Carla's face crumbled again and she pressed the tissue against her eyes to try and catch the tears before they fell. "I don't care about secrets. I'm not upset with either of them, I just want them to be okay. I don't want my baby boy lying in a coma with no one able to even tell me if he has a chance of making it until morning. If one more person tells me he is doing better than he was in the surgery, I will hit them! I can deduce for myself that the fact he is not bleeding to death is 'better', but that does not mean he is going to be okay! He's cold and no one will give him more blankets. They keep saying he isn't feeling pain, but how do they know? How do they know he isn't, and just can't tell them about it? I can't take this. It should be me, not Chris. It should have been me!" she sobbed.
Serena watched Chris' mom fall apart before she moved in to give her a gentle hug. This was one thing she was never going to get used to as a doctor, but this wasn't just anyone's family. It was Chris'. Serena just kept her mouth shut for the moment before she came out with the useless, cliched drivel she usually saved for the family of patients. Chris also wasn't her patient, he was her lover. "The truth is us doctors don't ever like committing to certainties. It's kinda like walking under under a bridge on Friday the 13th. It's just one of those things that can guarantee anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. The surgeons were just starting to gloat about how great the transplant went right before Chris crashed. They're not going to say if he will survive until morning because anything really could happen. They fixed the damage, and he has been stable most of the night so the chances are pretty high that he'll be okay."
Carla nodded as she listened. She wasn't just going to keep offloading onto Serena when the girl was going through so much of her own. But it was still all choked up inside her and it felt hard to even remain upright. "I can't even hug him," she said through a rough gasp of breath. "I can't. They said I can't. Dave... he said I can hold his hand, but I can't hug him. There can't even be any assurances that Rick is going to survive the cancer. Cancer. My boy has cancer."
"I know... It's all I want to do to Chris as well. I'm amazed my hand hasn't welded to his, but then you still need to be able to get to hold it." There was a strange feeling washing over Serena when she realised she didn't just have Chris to herself any more. Of course Dave had been to visit, but there was no one like Carla around. His mom was less likely to leave his side unless it was to visit Rick. It was stupid, and Serena knew she was being selfish even as she had the thoughts. "The transplant gives Rick a really good chance at survival - which I know is probably something you've heard over and over again, but it's true. He needed the healthy organ to keep his body functioning as normal as possible. If he'd been on dialysis it would have taken a lot out of him when he was having the chemo. This way Rick can fight."
Carla was watching Serena intently, even if her eyes were still red and teary. She swallowed heavily and was dragging more tissues from the packet. "I think Rick has a crush on his doctor. Is that even normal? Maybe you should answer that. I'm not exactly up to speed on medical ethics. Apparently Chris shouldn't be falling for one of his residents either. I dream of the day that he'll give his heart to someone, but I just wish it didn't have to all be so hard. They've been through so, so much pain already. This should never have happened to them. I should have protected them."
Serena indicated some seats lining the corridor for Carla and her to sit on. "Well, projection is something that can happen, but, um, to be completely honest I'm not sure that Rick's projecting. I think he genuinely likes Bella. Maybe it's not a normal thing, but you can't always judge when a connection's going to be made. Like with me and Chris. It just... happened. Bella's very professional, though. She's a good doctor." Serena bit down on her lip before she had a chance to spill the pregnancy secret and tugged nervously on the sleeve of her cardigan. "They were too busy trying to protect you instead of thinking about how you could protect them."
Carla sat down and her feet felt like they started to tingle just from the sheer relief of being off them. She hunched forward and started to anxiously tear at the tissues a little, her hands shaking. "They've always been like that. Chris especially. Rick was more the ostrich of the family. Get the hell out of there as quick as he can to find some sand to bury his head into. Probably involving alcohol, women and getting in bar fights. Chris always wanted to try and get in the middle and rescue me, but he was never really able to. His father... he... I would say he didn't have a good relationship with him, but they really had no relationship at all. Not when his father was drunk. He seemed to use Chris as a scapegoat for blaming everything on. When he was sober and off the booze, they got along okay. Chris always tried to forge a relationship, just like with Rick, but he always ended up getting kicked in the teeth when his father fell off the wagon again. Chris was always more like me, see. Their father struggled to understand how a flesh and blood son of his could be so different to him..."
Serena sat down beside Carla, perched on the edge of her chair. She couldn't help it. She was restless even if she was tired. Not to mention the nerves she was feeling at even having a conversation with Carla Deleo. This was Chris' mom. She wanted to make a good impression but right now she wasn't even sure she could remember her own name half of the time. "He really doesn't like talking about his dad. I guess I can't really blame him from what I've heard. He's told me a little. He's still like that. He's the genius cowboy. He's legendary around here. He's a really amazing trauma surgeon. He's... He's something to watch. Him and Rick have worked really hard to get back on track, to get a relationship. I don't think it'll ever happen with his dad."
Carla bit down on her lower lip and swallowed heavily as she shook her head. "Chris won't ever have anything to do with his father. He... something happened and he swore he never would again. Since that day, he won't even talk about him unless it's brought up in conversation for some reason. He'll do that fancy sidestepping in a conversation he can be so good at. He's straight about most things in life, but that's not one of them. I think it's a lot of why he wanted to have some sort of something with Rick, because he never really had much of a father." She hesitated for a moment and then reached to take Serena's hand and gave it a soft squeeze with a tiny, faint smile. "I know he's amazing. Some days I'm in awe he even came out of me. I feel that way about both of them. Gorgeous boys. I'm very blessed. I just... I miss them so much."
"Maybe you could stay," Serena suggested as she looked from their joined hands to Carla's face. "They're going to need you. Chris asked me to move in with him, and Rick's staying with him. I can always just stay at my apartment with my brother if you wanted to be there with them. I think it's important you're there. You're their mom. It's time to stop missing them..."
Carla wet her lips and shook her head with a small smile. "No... no... I can see they're in good hands here. They have a large support network and I'm not going to intrude on that. Besides, I need to go back to work. I still need an income. School's not long gone back and my students need me. I'll stay in a hotel for a few days... I'll stay until Chris wakes up and I can see with my own eyes that he is okay. But no one needs their mom hanging around and cramping their style."
Serena shook her head again as she shifted to fish out Chris' set of keys from her jeans pocket. She held them out for Carla. "Stay at Chris'. Please. Don't pay for a hotel, that's just stupid. He wouldn't want you paying for one either, I'm sure of it. It's not like I'll be going back there much. I'll just catch sleep when I can."
Carla wasn't going to take the keys and insist on her original plan when a keychain dangling between the keys caught her eye. She took them off Serena and turned the bundle over in her palm to get a better look. It was a small perspex photoframe with a picture of Chris and Serena. One of those sort that were taken candidly in a photo booth. Chris was kissing her cheek and she was laughing happily, like he had taken her by surprise with it. With a tiny glance back up at Serena, Carla went back to looking at the picture of her youngest. He looked so happy... happy quite unlike she had ever seen before, and she realised she was maybe seeing for the first time ever, evidence that her son was finally in love. She had never been convinced before that it was something he had truly experienced. "You should get some sleep and rest," she advised quietly. "Or he'll be pissed off to wake up and find you looking like hell."
The keychain had been a big part of why Serena had been hanging onto her boyfriend's keys. She loved the photo, and it had been one of the first things that Chris had done when they'd gone public. Serena wasn't just wallet photo material, she was keychain material. It had made her giggle and comment on Chris' dorkiness but the truth was she loved it. She loved him. She reached up to rub her hand over her face and gave a nod. "Not that he'll be in much position to judge, you're right. Plus I did promise Drew... At least I know Chris will be in good hands with you here. I'm sorry about how the phone call went down, and what happened before. It really is nice to meet you, Mrs Deleo."
With a small smile, Carla handed her son's keys back to his girlfriend. "... it was nice to meet you too, despite the start," she murmured. She really didn't know what she was going to do next. Probably hang around the halls not too far from either boys' hospital room and drink a lot of coffee to keep herself going. She wasn't going to rest easy until she knew Rick's system had truly accepted that kidney, and until Chris woke up and she could speak to him. She let out a shaky breath and stood up. "I should... go make sure David went home. He said he would. Can't ever really shake being a mom at heart. Thank you for taking care of my baby. I'm sure he couldn't be in better hands, even if I know he'll always keep you on your toes."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Serena revealed as she stood up as well and gave Carla a brief hug. She glanced back towards Chris' room and pointed her thumb behind her. "I think I might just go and say goodbye to him... Just one last check up. Can't shake being a doctor at heart either. Just let me know if you change your mind about staying that the apartment, okay?" She gave Carla a small wave before she turned on her heels and made her way to her boyfriend's room. It was going to be hard to drag herself away from the hospital, but she knew her brother would be doing cartwheels to hear that she was going home to rest and sleep. Even if she would still be replaying the meeting with Mrs Deleo over and over as she internally kicked herself.
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