Dream 01
Warning: child abuse, whipping, quoting the Holy Bible
Dream effects: nothing much, just knowing that everything's taken from the perceptive of a little boy.
Small hands grip the white sheets for dear life, anticipating the sound of the whip. It follows, breaking more barriers than sound, and the hand almost almost lets go.
"Continue," says the man. The boy dares not look back. He need not look back. Faith dictates that he believe his father was there, with his kind smile and his kind whip and all his promises of redemption. He did not order him. It was a request. The boy could stop if he wanted to, but he knows the consequences that he must face.
And so with all the dignity he could muster, he obeys.
"In You our fathers trusted;
They trusted and You delivered them."
His voice cracks as his father rubs antiseptic on his back. It was meant to prevent infection, not the necessary pain.
"To You they cried out and were delivered
In You they trusted and were not disappointed."
The boy feels the whip brush past his foot like a snake and he knows that he'll be hit again. But he knows the next lines. He knows the whole Psalm by heart, just as his father wanted him to.
"But--"
The whip hits sharp and true.
"But--"
But all words leave him come the second blow. Wounds still raw from the last round, all he can think about was the pain. He screams.
"Forgive me," he sobs. "Father, please forgive me."
"But that's why I'm doing this." His father's voice was calm. "You want me to forgive you." His father raises his head with the whip and points to the crucifix that they hung above his bed. "You want Him to forgive you."
He nods. There was something at the back of his mind, a small voice, that tells him that this is all wrong. That he doesn't need to be hurt to be forgiven. But again, all thoughts leave him as the whipping starts again. And the only words he can hear himself screaming were a mishmash of "I'm sorry" and "forgive me" and "I love you" and "Father, please", in a manner that was as coherent as the bleating of a lamb set to slaughter.
He screams until his voice is raw. His hands grip the sheets until they to bled from the pressure from his nails.
And then the whipping stops. It just stops. He looks back and sees that his father wasn't there. All he sees is darkness, the bed that he's lying on and the door.
"Father?" He calls out.
"Father, where are you?" Nobody answers.
He leaves the bed and walks towards the door. Every step felt like something was choking him, like something was pulling him half a step back. He trips as he was halfway there and is made to crawl the rest of the way. He reaches out for the doorknob and...
------
Jizabel sits up from his bed, naked save for the blanket that covers him. He reaches out for his glasses, which is right next to the Dreamberry on the bedside table, and puts it on. He sighs. He covers his face with his hands. He tries to collect his thoughts.
Failing at this, he decides to stand up and get himself a glass of water, mumbling the next lines to that Psalm.
"But I am a worm and not a man, A reproach of men and despised by the people..."
All responses to this dream will be done once he's clothed and he's realizes that the Dreamberry recorded it.
-----
[Canon notes, etc. Alexis Hargreaves had a tendency to abuse his children, first Jizabel then Cain, under the premise that this was to gain God's forgiveness. While Cain managed to live a life without their father, Jizabel's pretty much attached to the man's hip.
Bible quote taken from Psalm 22 and I could be less redundant.]