poetry: lub-dub

[delightedly]

This my second extremely nerdy love poem! :) haha. I like the general effect but I'm not sure whether it seems to be missing a verse. Hm. Either way, I'll count it as "done" for now, haha.

Comments/Con-crit always appreciated.

i told you that if my heart
were as wide as your arms to the embrace of your
mathematical equations
i would take you in,

Comments

comments

[ohsopasse]

I SEE SOMEONE'S GETTING THEIR NERD ON!

"were as wide as your arms to the embrace of your"
-maybe add something about brackets instead of embrace to stay on the whole mathematical scheme?

but other than that, i think it's very nicely put together. :D

Re: comments

[delightedly]

hm. That's an interesting idea, but I think the point is his/her adoration of mathematics, so it would be kind of a moot point to use brackets? Lol I know, I make no sense.

Thanks though :]

[nepheligenous]

I think its awesome that you don't like math and you're not really in love, but you write the most romantic poems that all involve math terminology. For that I think you should have included the word exponential somewhere. Hehehe ;D WONDERFUL KAI!

[delightedly]

Hahaha I know right? I lead a contradictory life. ;)

Thank you ♥