I've always been the kind of person who rushed to the defense of people I cared for, whether they were wrong or right. I generally think the person or persons I'm defending are in the right, but even if they aren't, I can't stand to see somebody else attacking them. It hurts me and I want to make it stop. I've gotten involved in big kerfluffles on account of it and as sad as some of the results of those kerfluffles have made me, I wasn't sorry that I got involved. I guess, I just thought that's the way you should be if you're friends.
Amen. To all of it. I'm glad that I am not the only one who feels this way. Sometimes I think because I am older (31) that I should have already figured this shit out, you know? And it's damn hard when that same sort of friendship isn't returned to you.
I think everyone needs to be validated. It's not simply enough to have someone say "Oh you know I love you". It SHOULD be but sometimes it isn't. Sometimes we do need to hear that.
Thank you for sharing that. It definitely made me see you on another
You DO matter. I mean it does hurt to be left out of things or not being included. I think that's part of the reason why the whole unfriending thing hurts - because it's saying that what you feel or think doesn't matter at all. *snuggle*.
I mean -- fandom is made up of people and people are always going to be people -- and it always hurts to be on the outside looking in, even if you wanted it that way :(
I'm always amazed at how...clearly you express your thoughts in these posts. Makes me envious.
I have no clue what happened tonight, but I can probably guess. I can tell you that I've unfriended a lot of people because of it, not because I wanted to stop being their friend, but because I couldn't take the constant reminders that where I was isn't where I am, and I'm not welcome in a place I once called heaven.
And they? From what I understand, most of them have chosen to forget the good times. Maybe it's because they just can't forgive me, or maybe because they can't figure me out, or--just maybe--I did matter--and they need to forget I once played there, too, so they can forget their grief.
Well, I think there was a misunderstanding on both sides.
I felt excluded but that wasn't really happening and wasn't intentional. And, I wasn't trying to say that anyone had said or acted like I don't matter - I was trying to work out why I was upset in the first place, one way or the other.
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Amen. To all of it. I'm glad that I am not the only one who feels this way. Sometimes I think because I am older (31) that I should have already figured this shit out, you know? And it's damn hard when that same sort of friendship isn't returned to you.
I think everyone needs to be validated. It's not simply enough to have someone say "Oh you know I love you". It SHOULD be but sometimes it isn't. Sometimes we do need to hear that.
Thank you for sharing that. It definitely made me see you on another
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Making a mountain out of a molehill and feeling yicky and making other people feel yicky too.
Just, yick.
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I mean -- fandom is made up of people and people are always going to be people -- and it always hurts to be on the outside looking in, even if you wanted it that way :(
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But, I do think that fandom often seems to promote that sort of thing.
Thank you though.
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(The comment has been removed)
*hugs back*
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I have no clue what happened tonight, but I can probably guess. I can tell you that I've unfriended a lot of people because of it, not because I wanted to stop being their friend, but because I couldn't take the constant reminders that where I was isn't where I am, and I'm not welcome in a place I once called heaven.
And they? From what I understand, most of them have chosen to forget the good times. Maybe it's because they just can't forgive me, or maybe because they can't figure me out, or--just maybe--I did matter--and they need to forget I once played there, too, so they can forget their grief.
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I felt excluded but that wasn't really happening and wasn't intentional. And, I wasn't trying to say that anyone had said or acted like I don't matter - I was trying to work out why I was upset in the first place, one way or the other.
Thank you for caring.
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