i really liked this a lot. the idea is very interesting and your images very haunting. it makes me so glad you've been writing again, because i've always respected your writing.
i miss you!
i tried to call you today but couldn't get though! let's talk soon, okay? i have a few pictures of you up in my room and every time i sit in a certain chair i see them, and every time i see them i think it's a sin we haven't talked in so long. much love to you, hope all is well! *x* shelley
thanks for the comments shell- i appreciate your input. i'm playing around with the fourth line- do you prefer:
they are the color of old blood. or the color of pure iodine.
OR something entirely different?
also- what about the last line? considering "you- dried up and disappearing, too"
sorry to bombard you. just want criticism. (really! pretend you're workshopping it!)
i miss you too shell- thanks for trying to call today. my cell phone is MIA, so my home phone is the best way to reach me. 503-227-1425. i need you phone number too since i lost my phone and don't have my address book on my computer either. lordy.
starxstar to you and do call again if you don't hear from me first. cori
ps> come to portland. really. you must for a long weekend or something. (its a sin i haven't visited there and you haven't visited here!)
wow- long time no talk. thanks for the comments. i'm taking a poetry class this term and loving it, though i hated writing a sonnet. i'd love to read yours sometime. i actually never went to dominican though i do have a friend who went there-- i've moved from the bay area to portland, oregon and am going to portland state right now. how about you? it sounds like you're not at davis anymore...? crazy. its been years.
Comments 4
you look really cute right now, on the floor with the bunnies. much much love to my poet-goddess-of-wonder.
Reply
i miss you!
i tried to call you today but couldn't get though! let's talk soon, okay? i have a few pictures of you up in my room and every time i sit in a certain chair i see them, and every time i see them i think it's a sin we haven't talked in so long. much love to you, hope all is well! *x*
shelley
Reply
do you prefer:
they are the color of old blood.
or
the color of pure iodine.
OR something entirely different?
also- what about the last line? considering "you- dried up and disappearing, too"
sorry to bombard you. just want criticism. (really! pretend you're workshopping it!)
i miss you too shell- thanks for trying to call today. my cell phone is MIA, so my home phone is the best way to reach me. 503-227-1425. i need you phone number too since i lost my phone and don't have my address book on my computer either. lordy.
starxstar to you and do call again if you don't hear from me first.
cori
ps> come to portland. really. you must for a long weekend or something.
(its a sin i haven't visited there and you haven't visited here!)
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
thanks for the comments. i'm taking a poetry class this term and loving it, though i hated writing a sonnet.
i'd love to read yours sometime.
i actually never went to dominican though i do have a friend who went there--
i've moved from the bay area to portland, oregon and am going to portland state right now.
how about you? it sounds like you're not at davis anymore...?
crazy. its been years.
Reply
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