Searing Shots - Oneshot
Title: Searing Shots
Pairing: Demi/Selena
Rating: M. Language, Angst, whatever
A/N: Just angst. And anger. Warning you now. So if you're looking for something happy then I guess you should skip this one for now if you want.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. This is for creative purposes. I don't mean any detriment to these people. Don't sue me.
Selena never was a vengeful person.
She tried to be the person she wanted to be, kind and caring to those around her. She was graceful even in the face of hurtful comments scouring the gossip blogs, calling her almost every negative and degrading word in the book. She's done so ever since she burst onto the limelight, graceful and demure for the past two years in the face of scrutiny and harsh whispers.
She's never been more of a wreck.
The cold air sliced at her skin, her cheeks reddened by the chilliness as she stared with wild eyes. She felt tears threatening to fall, falling like they had two years ago at the tender age of 16. Hands trembled before clenching into fists, her eye sight blurring as every harsh breath escaped her lips.
"What the hell are you doing here?", she whispered harshly, her eyes shooting daggers at the sight in front of her.
Lips trembling, the nearly nineteen year old felt tears stream down her face, eyes looking pleadingly. "Len-Selena.. I-"
"You what?" She snapped, voice filled with anger and hate as her shoulders shook with rage, "What do you want from me, Demetria?"
"Lena please-"
"DON'T." Swallowing harshly, Selena took a step back, her eyes moving downwards to stare at the wet cement she was standing on. "You lost the right to call me that two years ago. Why won't you leave me alone now? Why do you keep showing up," she continued, her voice raising as anger coursed within her, "Why can't you just let me be?! Why do you keep doing this?!"
Fingers adorned with rings tangled through black hair, a look of utter despair finding it's way onto her face. Her throat clamped shut, the emotional confrontation eating at her heart. Gazing back at her longingly, Demi finally spoke, her voice more quiet that it has ever been. "I needed to see you."
Snorting in disgust, Selena took another step back, her back nearing the building door she had just exited from. "You needed to see me."
"Yes. I did."
"For what? Hoping to get a quicky to add to your list?"
"Selena!" Demi shouted, her voice cracking as she finally let out a sob, eyes wide and wounded. Shaking her head, Demi crossed her arms in hopes of controlling herself. "I miss you," she whispered, her tears almost making the words barely recognizable. It's been two years and-"
"Yeah," Selena whispered, her jaw clenching as she interrupted, eyes cold as she stared back. "Yeah, it has been two years."
"Selena-"
"Two FUCKING years-"
"Please-"
"Since you cheated."
Silence caved around them, the only sound the shaking breath escaping Demi's lips, the battle finally lost as more tears escaped dark brown eyes. Suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the sight, Selena pushed back her instinctual need to hold the crying girl in front of her and held back the sobs begging to escape. Clenching her eyes shut, Selena shook her head before letting out a ragged breath.
"Two years since you cheated. Two years since we broke up. And two years now that you keep showing up, just when I'm finally on my feet, just to see me fall down and become a wreck again-"
"NO!" Demi shouted, eyes filled with a mixture of emotions, sorrow prevalent in them. Shaking her head, Demi took a step forward, only to quickly stop as Selena took another step back. "I never wanted that, Selena. I'm so-"
"Sorry?" Selena said, her tone full of disbelief. "I've heard this before. Plenty of times. Now I have to go home-"
"Baby, please-"
"YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT! JUST LEAVE ME-"
"I LOVE YOU!" Demi shouted, her voice hoarse as the sobs took over, her hands shaking as she pushed back her grown out bangs from her face.
Staring silently, she couldn't stop the first tear from falling down, her heart slicing once again. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have hurt me so bad."
Sniffling, Demi looked down, her teeth biting down on her lower lip, pain barely registering in her brain. "I wish I could take it back. I wish...I wish I could take everything back. I was scared... we were sixteen. And everyone...everyone was watching us. And our parents..." Demi swallowed harshly. "I was scared of what they'll think, Selena. I was scared...of what being gay would mean. I know it's not an excuse. I'm not trying to give you one. I hurt you...there's no excuse. But...I still love you. I'll never stop loving you-"
"STOP!" Selena shouted, her voice shaking and tears finally falling faster than ever. Pressing her forehead against her palm, she tried to think of anything but this moment. "Just stop."
Stepping closer, Demi gazed at her, her eyes flooded with need and despair. "I can't," she whispered, finally closing the distance between them. Trembling hands cupping wet cheeks, she moved closer, voice wavering. "I can't. I love you." Moving closer, Demi closed her eyes, her breathing now becoming shuddering puffs in the cool air. "I love you,"she whispered. Lips edging closer, she forgot for a split second. All the anger, the betrayal, the constant pain.
And then she remembered.
Using all her strength, she pushed Demi away, her eyes flashing with pain as her emotions finally won.
"No! Just stop it! Just let me be! You don't get to do this again. You aren't allowed to!"
Her face full of pain, Demi stared back, eyes desperate. "Selena-"
"Don't you get it?! You hurt me! You hurt me every single day! You think I don't think about us everyday? That I'm just happy and nice all the time? That I don't cry myself to sleep sometimes after waking up because of a memory? Because of your face?"
"Selena...I-"
"I fucking loved you!" She cried out, sobs taking over as she stared desperate and broken at the girl in front of her. "A part of me still loves you!"
A small glimmer of hope lighting in teary eyes, Demi stepped forward again, hands reaching out towards the girl she wished she never hurt. "Then why can't we take another chance-"
"Because I hate myself for still loving you!" Selena yelled, destroying any glimmer of hope Demi had in her body. "Don't you get it? You hurt me. You took a gun and shot my heart. That's what happened when I saw you with him." Stepping back again, she finally gazed back into Demi's broken eyes. "And you keep doing it. You keep sending me shots. Searing shots to my heart. You BROKE me. You broke my heart and took a piece. I can never have that back. And now you keep sending me these searing shots. Every drunken call. Every confrontation. Every plea to talk to me. All so spaced out. Just when I find my balance, another searing shot...my heart can't take anymore shots," Selena whispered, her voice so low and pained.
Demi stood there, shocked and inconsolable. "Selena...I never wished to hurt you-"
"You still are, Demi." Looking up, Selena stared at her with defeated eyes. "Do you swear you love me still?"
"I swear! Selena...I will always love you."
"Then let me go." Feeling her voice escape her, Demi stared at her, eyes fearful as a noise of disbelief and sadness escaped her lips. Staring right back, Selena continued. "Just let me be. Just stop sending me searing shots."
She stood still as she watched her gaze lower, tears overcoming her whole being with those last words she spoke. She slowly walked past, her eyes brimming with tears as she heard the sobs wracking the body of the girl who made no motion. She slowly walked away, head lowering down as she walked towards her car in the parking lot. She walked away.
And all the while she let her be.
Pairing: Demi/Selena
Rating: M. Language, Angst, whatever
A/N: Just angst. And anger. Warning you now. So if you're looking for something happy then I guess you should skip this one for now if you want.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. This is for creative purposes. I don't mean any detriment to these people. Don't sue me.
Selena never was a vengeful person.
She tried to be the person she wanted to be, kind and caring to those around her. She was graceful even in the face of hurtful comments scouring the gossip blogs, calling her almost every negative and degrading word in the book. She's done so ever since she burst onto the limelight, graceful and demure for the past two years in the face of scrutiny and harsh whispers.
She's never been more of a wreck.
The cold air sliced at her skin, her cheeks reddened by the chilliness as she stared with wild eyes. She felt tears threatening to fall, falling like they had two years ago at the tender age of 16. Hands trembled before clenching into fists, her eye sight blurring as every harsh breath escaped her lips.
"What the hell are you doing here?", she whispered harshly, her eyes shooting daggers at the sight in front of her.
Lips trembling, the nearly nineteen year old felt tears stream down her face, eyes looking pleadingly. "Len-Selena.. I-"
"You what?" She snapped, voice filled with anger and hate as her shoulders shook with rage, "What do you want from me, Demetria?"
"Lena please-"
"DON'T." Swallowing harshly, Selena took a step back, her eyes moving downwards to stare at the wet cement she was standing on. "You lost the right to call me that two years ago. Why won't you leave me alone now? Why do you keep showing up," she continued, her voice raising as anger coursed within her, "Why can't you just let me be?! Why do you keep doing this?!"
Fingers adorned with rings tangled through black hair, a look of utter despair finding it's way onto her face. Her throat clamped shut, the emotional confrontation eating at her heart. Gazing back at her longingly, Demi finally spoke, her voice more quiet that it has ever been. "I needed to see you."
Snorting in disgust, Selena took another step back, her back nearing the building door she had just exited from. "You needed to see me."
"Yes. I did."
"For what? Hoping to get a quicky to add to your list?"
"Selena!" Demi shouted, her voice cracking as she finally let out a sob, eyes wide and wounded. Shaking her head, Demi crossed her arms in hopes of controlling herself. "I miss you," she whispered, her tears almost making the words barely recognizable. It's been two years and-"
"Yeah," Selena whispered, her jaw clenching as she interrupted, eyes cold as she stared back. "Yeah, it has been two years."
"Selena-"
"Two FUCKING years-"
"Please-"
"Since you cheated."
Silence caved around them, the only sound the shaking breath escaping Demi's lips, the battle finally lost as more tears escaped dark brown eyes. Suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the sight, Selena pushed back her instinctual need to hold the crying girl in front of her and held back the sobs begging to escape. Clenching her eyes shut, Selena shook her head before letting out a ragged breath.
"Two years since you cheated. Two years since we broke up. And two years now that you keep showing up, just when I'm finally on my feet, just to see me fall down and become a wreck again-"
"NO!" Demi shouted, eyes filled with a mixture of emotions, sorrow prevalent in them. Shaking her head, Demi took a step forward, only to quickly stop as Selena took another step back. "I never wanted that, Selena. I'm so-"
"Sorry?" Selena said, her tone full of disbelief. "I've heard this before. Plenty of times. Now I have to go home-"
"Baby, please-"
"YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT! JUST LEAVE ME-"
"I LOVE YOU!" Demi shouted, her voice hoarse as the sobs took over, her hands shaking as she pushed back her grown out bangs from her face.
Staring silently, she couldn't stop the first tear from falling down, her heart slicing once again. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have hurt me so bad."
Sniffling, Demi looked down, her teeth biting down on her lower lip, pain barely registering in her brain. "I wish I could take it back. I wish...I wish I could take everything back. I was scared... we were sixteen. And everyone...everyone was watching us. And our parents..." Demi swallowed harshly. "I was scared of what they'll think, Selena. I was scared...of what being gay would mean. I know it's not an excuse. I'm not trying to give you one. I hurt you...there's no excuse. But...I still love you. I'll never stop loving you-"
"STOP!" Selena shouted, her voice shaking and tears finally falling faster than ever. Pressing her forehead against her palm, she tried to think of anything but this moment. "Just stop."
Stepping closer, Demi gazed at her, her eyes flooded with need and despair. "I can't," she whispered, finally closing the distance between them. Trembling hands cupping wet cheeks, she moved closer, voice wavering. "I can't. I love you." Moving closer, Demi closed her eyes, her breathing now becoming shuddering puffs in the cool air. "I love you,"she whispered. Lips edging closer, she forgot for a split second. All the anger, the betrayal, the constant pain.
And then she remembered.
Using all her strength, she pushed Demi away, her eyes flashing with pain as her emotions finally won.
"No! Just stop it! Just let me be! You don't get to do this again. You aren't allowed to!"
Her face full of pain, Demi stared back, eyes desperate. "Selena-"
"Don't you get it?! You hurt me! You hurt me every single day! You think I don't think about us everyday? That I'm just happy and nice all the time? That I don't cry myself to sleep sometimes after waking up because of a memory? Because of your face?"
"Selena...I-"
"I fucking loved you!" She cried out, sobs taking over as she stared desperate and broken at the girl in front of her. "A part of me still loves you!"
A small glimmer of hope lighting in teary eyes, Demi stepped forward again, hands reaching out towards the girl she wished she never hurt. "Then why can't we take another chance-"
"Because I hate myself for still loving you!" Selena yelled, destroying any glimmer of hope Demi had in her body. "Don't you get it? You hurt me. You took a gun and shot my heart. That's what happened when I saw you with him." Stepping back again, she finally gazed back into Demi's broken eyes. "And you keep doing it. You keep sending me shots. Searing shots to my heart. You BROKE me. You broke my heart and took a piece. I can never have that back. And now you keep sending me these searing shots. Every drunken call. Every confrontation. Every plea to talk to me. All so spaced out. Just when I find my balance, another searing shot...my heart can't take anymore shots," Selena whispered, her voice so low and pained.
Demi stood there, shocked and inconsolable. "Selena...I never wished to hurt you-"
"You still are, Demi." Looking up, Selena stared at her with defeated eyes. "Do you swear you love me still?"
"I swear! Selena...I will always love you."
"Then let me go." Feeling her voice escape her, Demi stared at her, eyes fearful as a noise of disbelief and sadness escaped her lips. Staring right back, Selena continued. "Just let me be. Just stop sending me searing shots."
She stood still as she watched her gaze lower, tears overcoming her whole being with those last words she spoke. She slowly walked past, her eyes brimming with tears as she heard the sobs wracking the body of the girl who made no motion. She slowly walked away, head lowering down as she walked towards her car in the parking lot. She walked away.
And all the while she let her be.