Re: The Anti-Gann
In response to http://darkcanine.livejournal.com/83895.html since I can't post such a long comment.
So, let's filter through the random insults and get to why anything happened in this kind of regard.
I used to call him "my best friend" but no more! He shirks responsibility and seems to do everything he can to remain a loser.
Insult.
He has no plans to move out of his parents' house thus far and, in fact, he refuses to think about the future at all. When questioned if he would want to get a place with me, he became vague with, "I haven't really thought about that, yet." and changed the subject.
Because it's pretty far in the future, and without a steady, PLANNED source of income, I can't even begin to make decisions like that. Plus, I have had 4 different people ask me that question, and if I'm not sure, I'm certainly not going to give anyone a definite answer about it.
He's twenty-one years old and has no real motivation to stay in college (quit twice) or get a job.
Four or five times, actually.
He's been presented with many jobs (at least eight dollars per hour) that may be dead-end jobs, but it's MONEY and nothing is ever stopping him from quitting. Dead-end jobs are good for having a salary and accumulating work experience; something to put on your application under "Past Employment".
I'd answer this, but I'll just leave it at me being a lazy-ass that doesn't want to work, because that's all anyone really is willing to think anyway. I mean, that's my dad's opinion, so naturally it must be good enough for someone who's been such a top-notch friend to me.
So all he does is play Final Fantasy Eleven. All. He does. Doesn't talk to me, doesn't talk to Danielle, doesn't even talk to his girlfriend, Megan, unless they're out together. Even then, it's debatable for actual conversations since i'm not there. They sure don't talk when i'm around.
Yeah, I play video games all the time. I'm obsessed with them.
What do you do all day, again?
He also likes to portray himself as the victim whenever I (or anyone else, for that matter. Just the other day a good friend, Blu, was thrown out of his residence and Gann was called as a last ditch effort to see if he knew anyone or could take him somewhere. The response was, according to Danielle, "I'm at the Family Fun Center right now, but I can't take him anywhere.") ask things of him.
I didn't act like a victim of anything in that case. I knew what I was able to do, and I knew most of my friends were either working, too far away, or didn't care at all.
I've given up trying to talk to him on the phone since it's always Blah Blah Blah about Final Fantasy Eleven and it's ALWAYS THE SAME STORIES. No one cares about the game, anymore! Especially not the same trite stories over and over.
Maybe because I enjoyed the game, and because you talk about the game you're currently playing all the time as well, and I was maybe trying to get you to play it... But OH YEAH... When I gave you the 30 day trial I had pretty much spent the money on, for the specific package that it came in, so that you could maybe try the game for a while.... What was it that happened... Oh, you registered your account, didn't even install the game, then promptly forgot the login information so I couldn't even give the account to someone else.
Thanks again for that.
And when I do call him it's a 1/15 chance he'll actually pick up. And if I really need to talk to him or ask something (advice or a ride or whatever) and he didn't answer the first time it's always, "What'd I tell you about calling so much?" in a snappy tone. He says that if he doesn't answer the phone the first time, it's because he doesn't want to talk. THE PROBLEM WITH THIS IS: How the fuck does someone discern what reason you didn't answer your cellular phone for?
A) You weren't near it/didn't get to it in time.
B) Didn't hear/feel the ring tone/vibration.
C) You don't want to talk.
Right? Right. If you don't want to talk, PICK UP THE PHONE AND SAY YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK. Don't get snippity with me for no reason.
I don't answer my phone very often. Leave a message. If it's not random chatter and/or you asking me for something, I might talk to you.
Continuing: So I've given up chatting with him and now only call him on the phone if I want a ride somewhere.
DING: This is where any points you may or may not have had go out the window.
This only occurs on Friday or Saturday: Days I know he's going out with Megan so I cause the least amount of inconvenience. He gets mad at me as if I'm asking him to carry me piggy-back instead of with a car.
My parents actually told me a long time ago I'm not ALLOWED to do you any more favors, but I have for several months despite getting yelled at and risking losing my car every time I've done it.
And that's the big reason why i've come to the decision that he's no longer my friend: I went back to Gallatin for the weekend and he didn't want to hang out with me at all. Didn't even show any signs of eagerness to see me.
I don't hang out with anyone anymore. You know that. I don't have a job, I don't have a life at the moment, and all I DO have is my girlfriend. I'm sorry that asking my parents for money or gas to go play video games with good ol' Jonathan, whose life is in such better shape and a much more responsible place than mine is, isn't exactly the first thing on my mind at any point in time.
Anthony, whom I was staying with, wanted to go home, but I wanted to hang out with Danielle, Blu, Ricky, and others for a little while longer. I called Jonathan Gann to see if I could hitch a ride with him back to Gallatin (The mall is in Goodletsville) and (didn't outright say this part. Figured it'd be inherent) hang out and chat on the way back. Maybe even chill at his house for a while and see what witty, new, flash animations he found or whatever the crap. No. He breathes out all harried-like and thinks for a moment and then says that he'll do it. Upon which he adds, "Never do this again. I hate being forced into being your only ride home." Whoa whoa whoa. When did I force you to do this?
Well, I refuse this one last time and you're not my friend, apparently that's some sort of terms-of-friendship or something to you.
I asked politely if I -COULD- hitch a ride back with you. It shouldn't be that obtrusive since i'm ON THE WAY. Secondly, I never said you were my only ride. I could have easily gone with someone else or, heck, went home right then with Anthony. Which is what I did. But I CHOSE you because I wanted to hang out with you! You should, too, if there is any truth to what you've said a few times, "You're like a little brother to me". If I am anything like that to him, then Gann should care a little bit more about me, my feelings and intentions, and everyone else's associated with me that how much he does, now.
I thought/think I am your only ride because... Well, how many times have you begged me because of that reason? How many times have you acted like a helpless child, because you got a ride to go see your girlfriend and you didn't quite think through your exit plans?
And yes. You ARE like a little brother to me. But there have been a lot of angles to that comparison over the past time. At first it was because we hung out all the time, and you helped me at the arcade, and we had a good old time. Then, it was because you were having personal issues and I felt morally obliged to help you through them, to offer my advice and help. For a while I felt like I was the brother that occasionally picked up the younger from school and took him home because it was 'on the way'. Now, I honestly don't have a good brotherly comparison anymore. If you want any chance of a friendship to end, fine, but don't don't conveniently leave crap out just so you look like some sort of victimized ex-wife or something. I'm sorry I can't be there all the time, I'm sorry I am a pretty shitty friend sometimes, but I would expect someone who likes to throw around the title of 'friend' to TRY to understand the fact that my life is in the shitter, whether by my own hand or not, and might understand why I'm not exactly gung-ho to do favors whenever I'm called upon.
Sorry you decided to end on this note, bud.
I could have thrown in a lot more counter-insults, but I feel moral high ground is a nice place to be. Unlike most people, I don't TRY to look like a total douche.
So, let's filter through the random insults and get to why anything happened in this kind of regard.
I used to call him "my best friend" but no more! He shirks responsibility and seems to do everything he can to remain a loser.
Insult.
He has no plans to move out of his parents' house thus far and, in fact, he refuses to think about the future at all. When questioned if he would want to get a place with me, he became vague with, "I haven't really thought about that, yet." and changed the subject.
Because it's pretty far in the future, and without a steady, PLANNED source of income, I can't even begin to make decisions like that. Plus, I have had 4 different people ask me that question, and if I'm not sure, I'm certainly not going to give anyone a definite answer about it.
He's twenty-one years old and has no real motivation to stay in college (quit twice) or get a job.
Four or five times, actually.
He's been presented with many jobs (at least eight dollars per hour) that may be dead-end jobs, but it's MONEY and nothing is ever stopping him from quitting. Dead-end jobs are good for having a salary and accumulating work experience; something to put on your application under "Past Employment".
I'd answer this, but I'll just leave it at me being a lazy-ass that doesn't want to work, because that's all anyone really is willing to think anyway. I mean, that's my dad's opinion, so naturally it must be good enough for someone who's been such a top-notch friend to me.
So all he does is play Final Fantasy Eleven. All. He does. Doesn't talk to me, doesn't talk to Danielle, doesn't even talk to his girlfriend, Megan, unless they're out together. Even then, it's debatable for actual conversations since i'm not there. They sure don't talk when i'm around.
Yeah, I play video games all the time. I'm obsessed with them.
What do you do all day, again?
He also likes to portray himself as the victim whenever I (or anyone else, for that matter. Just the other day a good friend, Blu, was thrown out of his residence and Gann was called as a last ditch effort to see if he knew anyone or could take him somewhere. The response was, according to Danielle, "I'm at the Family Fun Center right now, but I can't take him anywhere.") ask things of him.
I didn't act like a victim of anything in that case. I knew what I was able to do, and I knew most of my friends were either working, too far away, or didn't care at all.
I've given up trying to talk to him on the phone since it's always Blah Blah Blah about Final Fantasy Eleven and it's ALWAYS THE SAME STORIES. No one cares about the game, anymore! Especially not the same trite stories over and over.
Maybe because I enjoyed the game, and because you talk about the game you're currently playing all the time as well, and I was maybe trying to get you to play it... But OH YEAH... When I gave you the 30 day trial I had pretty much spent the money on, for the specific package that it came in, so that you could maybe try the game for a while.... What was it that happened... Oh, you registered your account, didn't even install the game, then promptly forgot the login information so I couldn't even give the account to someone else.
Thanks again for that.
And when I do call him it's a 1/15 chance he'll actually pick up. And if I really need to talk to him or ask something (advice or a ride or whatever) and he didn't answer the first time it's always, "What'd I tell you about calling so much?" in a snappy tone. He says that if he doesn't answer the phone the first time, it's because he doesn't want to talk. THE PROBLEM WITH THIS IS: How the fuck does someone discern what reason you didn't answer your cellular phone for?
A) You weren't near it/didn't get to it in time.
B) Didn't hear/feel the ring tone/vibration.
C) You don't want to talk.
Right? Right. If you don't want to talk, PICK UP THE PHONE AND SAY YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK. Don't get snippity with me for no reason.
I don't answer my phone very often. Leave a message. If it's not random chatter and/or you asking me for something, I might talk to you.
Continuing: So I've given up chatting with him and now only call him on the phone if I want a ride somewhere.
DING: This is where any points you may or may not have had go out the window.
This only occurs on Friday or Saturday: Days I know he's going out with Megan so I cause the least amount of inconvenience. He gets mad at me as if I'm asking him to carry me piggy-back instead of with a car.
My parents actually told me a long time ago I'm not ALLOWED to do you any more favors, but I have for several months despite getting yelled at and risking losing my car every time I've done it.
And that's the big reason why i've come to the decision that he's no longer my friend: I went back to Gallatin for the weekend and he didn't want to hang out with me at all. Didn't even show any signs of eagerness to see me.
I don't hang out with anyone anymore. You know that. I don't have a job, I don't have a life at the moment, and all I DO have is my girlfriend. I'm sorry that asking my parents for money or gas to go play video games with good ol' Jonathan, whose life is in such better shape and a much more responsible place than mine is, isn't exactly the first thing on my mind at any point in time.
Anthony, whom I was staying with, wanted to go home, but I wanted to hang out with Danielle, Blu, Ricky, and others for a little while longer. I called Jonathan Gann to see if I could hitch a ride with him back to Gallatin (The mall is in Goodletsville) and (didn't outright say this part. Figured it'd be inherent) hang out and chat on the way back. Maybe even chill at his house for a while and see what witty, new, flash animations he found or whatever the crap. No. He breathes out all harried-like and thinks for a moment and then says that he'll do it. Upon which he adds, "Never do this again. I hate being forced into being your only ride home." Whoa whoa whoa. When did I force you to do this?
Well, I refuse this one last time and you're not my friend, apparently that's some sort of terms-of-friendship or something to you.
I asked politely if I -COULD- hitch a ride back with you. It shouldn't be that obtrusive since i'm ON THE WAY. Secondly, I never said you were my only ride. I could have easily gone with someone else or, heck, went home right then with Anthony. Which is what I did. But I CHOSE you because I wanted to hang out with you! You should, too, if there is any truth to what you've said a few times, "You're like a little brother to me". If I am anything like that to him, then Gann should care a little bit more about me, my feelings and intentions, and everyone else's associated with me that how much he does, now.
I thought/think I am your only ride because... Well, how many times have you begged me because of that reason? How many times have you acted like a helpless child, because you got a ride to go see your girlfriend and you didn't quite think through your exit plans?
And yes. You ARE like a little brother to me. But there have been a lot of angles to that comparison over the past time. At first it was because we hung out all the time, and you helped me at the arcade, and we had a good old time. Then, it was because you were having personal issues and I felt morally obliged to help you through them, to offer my advice and help. For a while I felt like I was the brother that occasionally picked up the younger from school and took him home because it was 'on the way'. Now, I honestly don't have a good brotherly comparison anymore. If you want any chance of a friendship to end, fine, but don't don't conveniently leave crap out just so you look like some sort of victimized ex-wife or something. I'm sorry I can't be there all the time, I'm sorry I am a pretty shitty friend sometimes, but I would expect someone who likes to throw around the title of 'friend' to TRY to understand the fact that my life is in the shitter, whether by my own hand or not, and might understand why I'm not exactly gung-ho to do favors whenever I'm called upon.
Sorry you decided to end on this note, bud.
I could have thrown in a lot more counter-insults, but I feel moral high ground is a nice place to be. Unlike most people, I don't TRY to look like a total douche.