Letters.
Hey God,
You may remember me from such events as the Beijing Student Masacre and the Fall of Rome.
Just thought you should know, your anal angel Sean has been decreeing that empathy and compassion are things to be earnt and deserved, not things that every being are entitled to regardless of their situation. He's being very heavy handed and has also rewritten several of Your original rules and laws. Just thought you should know.
Cheers,
Claudia.
Dear Claudia,
Thank you for bringing this to Our Lord's attention. He was quite sad to hear this, for as you know, Our Lord is a kind and compassionate God, loving each and every creature and their pain is His pain. We are investigating the matter. Thank you for bringing it to our attention. Dare we hope that you will be returning to the heavenly fold?
In love and compassion,
Archangel Gabriel.
Yo, Gabe,
Hows it goin'? Great to hear from ya! Good to hear you lot are taking anal angel to task. He seems to feel that he's the Divine Maker himself, and that's just not on. Do you see any of us pretending to be The Morningstar? That'd be da shite, man, true. No way.
Thanks for your wishes, but nah, I like hell. Hope heaven isn't too boring for ya.
Cheers and beers,
Claudia.
Dear Claudia,
I am glad you are well, yet sad you are not returning to the Heavenly Fold. Thank you for your correspondence.
With love and compassion,
Archangel Gabriel.
Fuck, I love being me. *snickers*