I never did call you back. :( Things kept popping up all weekend.
I agree and disagree about the explaining thing. While yeah, if you are just being you and someone keeps getting upset over it.. that gets really old. But also, I can't help but think it's silly to assume someone knows what's going on in your mind when something you're doing may be similar to another bad experience you've had.
And you date the guy and stop dating the guy... and I still haven't found out who? *raises eyebrow*
*grinz about that last statement* That's what makes memories special. And one thing Sarracenia did point out to me, it is unfair to hold people up to the experiences and expectations you formed with someone else. If you wanted those, then you should go back with that other person or at least not be after the person you're feeling that with.
Don't know if any of this made sense. I'm cold and starting to get sleepy.
Yeah, no big deal really... just a whole lot of things converged to a thunderhead and exploded for me into a billion little shards of what wasn't right about it all.
On one hand one person feels everything is right - and while he was feeling everything was right - I kept feeling something gnawing at me - something that wasn't right. *shrug* it's sad that the lines could be crossed that bad. he's a great person - just not made for me. :)
On the other hand, I can't go back to where I had those things I live for. That one has royally fucked any chance of that happening up. I'm mad about it - but I dun hate him. We have free will, and we can change what we want and what paths we take. He chose his path. I just want him to be happy. Now I have to change what I want in order to continue on. Otherwise I will keep falling back into this and fail to move forward.
At least I tried, and now I know I'm not ready to do the dating thing yet. I thought I was - but I'm not.
A good friendship can mean more than a binding relationship. Still friendships have to be nurtured as well. And that can be pretty damn hard... I know. I often make mistakes or say things I didn't mean. That doesn't mean I try to scare people away or want to make them feel bad. In the end it always takes two to tango... relationship or friendship. We have to ask ourselves the value of these things.
Re: SometimesdemonflowerDecember 14 2004, 08:04:49 UTC
*nods* In this particular instance I realized I couldn't be what this person needs. I'm too harsh without really meaning to be. I care about them a lot, and I found that what I want and need can't be provided by him as well. Even as I sat hurting all he could think about was what he wanted - giving no care to how I was feeling. *sigh* Live and learn I suppose.
Some people simply refuse to see things for what they are - and instead try to embellish it and candy coat it to their pre-conceived notions and expect it to just be that way.
LOL. Oddly enough, I read that as... I am saying no relationships but IF relationship, then I want something specific to me and vague to people. LOL. *ducks!!!* Same as every human.
Perhaps, but then I have a bad way of expressing what I mean - most ppl interpret everything according to their own bias - even I do that.
I don't want a relationship, first and foremost.
However, if I find myself spiraling into one, it will be cause it's balanced and good for me and the person I join myself to and not destructive.
I don't want it vague to anyone. I just don't want to be in a situation where it's obvious there's a conflict or something going on and the other person expect me to drop everything to suit their fancy without first trying to understand, find out, or help me out. That just appears selfish to me.
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I know what I want....
I'm going to wait as long as I have to, I'll just have to busy myself with other things till then.
Congratz on yer man! :)
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I agree and disagree about the explaining thing. While yeah, if you are just being you and someone keeps getting upset over it.. that gets really old. But also, I can't help but think it's silly to assume someone knows what's going on in your mind when something you're doing may be similar to another bad experience you've had.
And you date the guy and stop dating the guy... and I still haven't found out who? *raises eyebrow*
*grinz about that last statement* That's what makes memories special. And one thing Sarracenia did point out to me, it is unfair to hold people up to the experiences and expectations you formed with someone else. If you wanted those, then you should go back with that other person or at least not be after the person you're feeling that with.
Don't know if any of this made sense. I'm cold and starting to get sleepy.
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On one hand one person feels everything is right - and while he was feeling everything was right - I kept feeling something gnawing at me - something that wasn't right. *shrug* it's sad that the lines could be crossed that bad.
he's a great person - just not made for me. :)
On the other hand, I can't go back to where I had those things I live for. That one has royally fucked any chance of that happening up. I'm mad about it - but I dun hate him. We have free will, and we can change what we want and what paths we take. He chose his path. I just want him to be happy.
Now I have to change what I want in order to continue on. Otherwise I will keep falling back into this and fail to move forward.
At least I tried, and now I know I'm not ready to do the dating thing yet. I thought I was - but I'm not.
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Some people simply refuse to see things for what they are - and instead try to embellish it and candy coat it to their pre-conceived notions and expect it to just be that way.
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shooman out
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I don't want a relationship, first and foremost.
However, if I find myself spiraling into one, it will be cause it's balanced and good for me and the person I join myself to and not destructive.
I don't want it vague to anyone. I just don't want to be in a situation where it's obvious there's a conflict or something going on and the other person expect me to drop everything to suit their fancy without first trying to understand, find out, or help me out. That just appears selfish to me.
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