karmic meltdown and Im freaking out

[demongrrly]

Im seriously freakin out..like not in the yelling, panicing way of freaking out that is associated with the worst most times but the quiet slowly building don't know what to do kind. I honestly can't believe today. Or the yesterday or the last freaking 2 years for that matter. Either somewhere along the line I've done something very very bad or

Comments

[riftrunner]

Babe, I sympathize. It's a hard situation to deal with, Im sure. Don't look at me stupid here, but there's a quote from a book I have - which pretty much sums up the story of my life really, and it kinda goes like this. "You ever see the commercial for garbage bags? YOu know, the one where they try to test the strength of the bag by seeing how much pressure the can put on it before it breaks? Well that's Jardine. A garbage bag, hooked up to a hydraulic press, trying to hold his shape in spite of the guy who keeps turning the knob up." I know what it's like to have a life where you're trying to keep control in a situation that's rapidly going OUT of control. And wondering if you're going to come out of it with anything that's halfway approaching sanity. Or not choking people out. Pretty much lived this way since my mom.. well, passed the mortal coil 5 years ago. Somehow it'll all work itself out. Sooner or later. I can't say when.. or even how. But it all comes out in the wash sooner or later. At least, that's the hope I have. Else we'

[ft_7]

Hey Lady, that's really rough. I'm sorry to hear that your situation has gotten so insane lately. I don't think you could become like that though, you're too warm of a person (does that make any sense?). And besides, I think if you did start acting strangely, you have enough friends around to slap some sense into you. I'm sorry I missed hanging out with you this weekend, kinda sounds like you needed some down time. Have a better week lady...

[resident_pink]

Hey Sabz, ma chica *hugs* I recognize alot of the stuff you're feeling. Not in relation to my mother so much but to my grandmother. Including the whole thing with beating yourself up with stuff like "I should be stronger than this" "people have coped with much worse things" and all that.. What I'm trying to learn myself is that's really irrelevant. No matter what others feel you're still entitled to feel the way YOU do. We (you and me, everyone else too) need to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else all the time. We weren't made to be perfect copies of some virtually unattainable ideal. We're human and we try our best (we really do, regardless of what our self-degrading selves tell us ok?). I know it's tough and I wish I had some awesome, liberating words of wisdom to share, but I'm still struggling my way through this myself. Just remember that I don't mind listening if you ever want to rant. You've listened to me, so don't hesitate to pay back ok? ;) You're an awesome chica and I care alot about you, so you're not alone :) *HUG*