Ary and Tory attempt to discuss House over AIM
(slightly edited for unimportant bits)
otherwise: Poor Chase DDDDD:
otherwise: "Are you getting--um--aroused?" *looks* --D8 *SPLODEY* ....oh.
otherwise: ....*runs away like a wombat*
demonia_eterno: THAT is several kinds of KAY I'MA NOT WORK HERE ANYMORE.
otherwise: "Yes, I am going to go back to the REAL WORLD now. >< The hospital of House's Imagination, NJ is TOO WEIRD."
demonia_eterno: "Though it is slightly less angsty than the pediatric department. Granted, the babies didn't explode. D:"
otherwise: "....MOST of the time."
demonia_eterno: Poor, poor Chase. XO
otherwise: He should just go back to Australia and live on his yacht for the rest of his life. Less things 'splodey.
demonia_eterno: You know that the second he moved back, Australia would blow up.
demonia_eterno: Possibly some koalas first.
otherwise: But only in little pieces. And the little kangaroos would start oozing out of their pouches.
otherwise: Which would infect the mothers and cause them to start spurting blood from random places on their body.
demonia_eterno: The blood would then attract hunstman spiders, who would lay eggs behind the mothers' eyes, causing them to burst out due to the pressure.
otherwise: But the larvae would lodge themselves inside their brains where they would go undetected until they suddenly start causing epilepsies. D: The mothers refuse treatment--until suddenly a new, completely unrelated symptom occurs: All the country's dentists start pooing from their mouths.
demonia_eterno: Chase would then call it quits and head out to Florida, where he would retire quietly amongst the old people who have given up on living to play checkers and wait for their children to call.
otherwise: One of the old people has a be-yooootiful daughter, and Chase is about to get with her--when House decides to butt in to show him an awesome new yo-yo trick he just figured out.
demonia_eterno: Which would prompt Chase to wake up in a cold sweat in House's office under the desk, where he would proceed to whimper uncontrollably for a good ten minutes, hoping against hope that no one will find him so that he may rid himself of the Australian based nightmare in peace. Meanwhile, the dream-daughter has gone off to do some meth.
otherwise: Foreman laughs at him.
demonia_eterno: Cameron berates Foreman for laughing at his obvious discomfort, sneaking little giggles in behind her hand.
otherwise: And then, she starts laughing uncontrollably--she has the Giggling Disease! This is a terminal illness, and so troubled is she by the diagnosis that she refuses to tell herself.
demonia_eterno: Perhaps she would induce amnesia in herself in order to insure that she can't reveal her own impending doom to herself.
otherwise: Inevitably Wilson would inform her. And then move in with her.
demonia_eterno: House would then freak out on Wilson, because Cameron is diseased, but Cameron is HOUSE'S diseased cottage, and Wilson didn't even have the decency to catch the Giggling Disease.
otherwise: Then Cameron would realize that she has become dependent on Wilson and leave him, strongly living out her last days--so impressed is she by her resilience and strong morals that she starts crushing on herself.
otherwise: While Foreman acts like an angry black man for reasons unclear.
demonia_eterno: And Chase continues to have daddy issues.
demonia_eterno: Cuddy sits in her office and ponders why it seemed like such a good idea to let these people in her hospital in her first place. She then proceeds to unlock the Secret Corporate Liquor Cabinet and drink herself into denial. Cuddy has decided that she would rather her potential child develop a high alcohol tolerance early on.
otherwise: House makes fun of Cuddy for drinking so much, and then pops some pills. Remembers that he should be in clinic. Informs Cameron that being near death is no reason for staying home, and makes her do clinic instead.
demonia_eterno: Clinic patients confuse Cameron's fatal giggly state as some new kind of doctor-patient interaction and proceed to wonder what the hell kind of joke they missed, and whether it is going to get them the prescribed birth control pills that they could have just as easily picked up at the drug store.
otherwise: Cameron decides to act like House in clinic. Goes, "Lol masturbation!!" at all the little kids.
demonia_eterno: Little kids giggle, mothers across the world are horrified and vow never to return. House rubs his hands together in his office, glad to know his plans to reduce his clinic time have succeeded.
otherwise: Plays with his little bouncy ball.
otherwise: Bouncy ball hits Foreman on his way in. Foreman has come to a conclusion, "All black people are bastards and criminals! Including me!"
demonia_eterno: House deadpans with some racial comment and Foreman doesn't knock his head off his scrawny British shoulders. House does, of course, know cane-fu, so Foreman could just be being wary.
otherwise: Cameron is so offended by this racist talk that she stops laughing. SHE IS CURED.
otherwise: Wilson is sad. D:
demonia_eterno: House is gleefull on the inside, because once again people other than himself are miserable, and he can take the credit for the super cure which he only partially contributed to. Chase is missing on all the action because he hasn't had anything to do, anyway.
Cameron has, however, grown attached to her constant state of chuckles, and so lapses into depression and regret. This depression and regret is gone within twenty four hours.
demonia_eterno: Wilson looks for more dying people to sleep with, and the cycle renews.
otherwise: Zoom in on: House is eating a food. FADE TO BLACK. .....ON NEXT WEEK'S 'HOUSE'....
demonia_eterno: SOMEONE IS SICK, BUT IT'S NOT THE PERSON YOU ARE INITIALLY LED TO BELIEVE. THEY DIAGNOSE THE SAME THINGS THEY'VE ALWAYS DIAGNOSED UNTIL SOMETHING UNBELIEVABLE HAPPENS. THERE'S A LOT OF DRAMATIC STARING. HOUSE WILL INEVITABLY BE A BASTARD, BUT YOU'LL WATCH IT ANYWAY. CAMERON MAY BECOME UPSET, AND FOREMAN MAY BE BLACK.
otherwise: Chase . . . is STILL under the desk. Crying.
demonia_eterno: Crying wombat tears. Cuddy is still drunk and locked in her office.
demonia_eterno: The audience is wondering wtf just happened.
[/Tory]
otherwise: Poor Chase DDDDD:
otherwise: "Are you getting--um--aroused?" *looks* --D8 *SPLODEY* ....oh.
otherwise: ....*runs away like a wombat*
demonia_eterno: THAT is several kinds of KAY I'MA NOT WORK HERE ANYMORE.
otherwise: "Yes, I am going to go back to the REAL WORLD now. >< The hospital of House's Imagination, NJ is TOO WEIRD."
demonia_eterno: "Though it is slightly less angsty than the pediatric department. Granted, the babies didn't explode. D:"
otherwise: "....MOST of the time."
demonia_eterno: Poor, poor Chase. XO
otherwise: He should just go back to Australia and live on his yacht for the rest of his life. Less things 'splodey.
demonia_eterno: You know that the second he moved back, Australia would blow up.
demonia_eterno: Possibly some koalas first.
otherwise: But only in little pieces. And the little kangaroos would start oozing out of their pouches.
otherwise: Which would infect the mothers and cause them to start spurting blood from random places on their body.
demonia_eterno: The blood would then attract hunstman spiders, who would lay eggs behind the mothers' eyes, causing them to burst out due to the pressure.
otherwise: But the larvae would lodge themselves inside their brains where they would go undetected until they suddenly start causing epilepsies. D: The mothers refuse treatment--until suddenly a new, completely unrelated symptom occurs: All the country's dentists start pooing from their mouths.
demonia_eterno: Chase would then call it quits and head out to Florida, where he would retire quietly amongst the old people who have given up on living to play checkers and wait for their children to call.
otherwise: One of the old people has a be-yooootiful daughter, and Chase is about to get with her--when House decides to butt in to show him an awesome new yo-yo trick he just figured out.
demonia_eterno: Which would prompt Chase to wake up in a cold sweat in House's office under the desk, where he would proceed to whimper uncontrollably for a good ten minutes, hoping against hope that no one will find him so that he may rid himself of the Australian based nightmare in peace. Meanwhile, the dream-daughter has gone off to do some meth.
otherwise: Foreman laughs at him.
demonia_eterno: Cameron berates Foreman for laughing at his obvious discomfort, sneaking little giggles in behind her hand.
otherwise: And then, she starts laughing uncontrollably--she has the Giggling Disease! This is a terminal illness, and so troubled is she by the diagnosis that she refuses to tell herself.
demonia_eterno: Perhaps she would induce amnesia in herself in order to insure that she can't reveal her own impending doom to herself.
otherwise: Inevitably Wilson would inform her. And then move in with her.
demonia_eterno: House would then freak out on Wilson, because Cameron is diseased, but Cameron is HOUSE'S diseased cottage, and Wilson didn't even have the decency to catch the Giggling Disease.
otherwise: Then Cameron would realize that she has become dependent on Wilson and leave him, strongly living out her last days--so impressed is she by her resilience and strong morals that she starts crushing on herself.
otherwise: While Foreman acts like an angry black man for reasons unclear.
demonia_eterno: And Chase continues to have daddy issues.
demonia_eterno: Cuddy sits in her office and ponders why it seemed like such a good idea to let these people in her hospital in her first place. She then proceeds to unlock the Secret Corporate Liquor Cabinet and drink herself into denial. Cuddy has decided that she would rather her potential child develop a high alcohol tolerance early on.
otherwise: House makes fun of Cuddy for drinking so much, and then pops some pills. Remembers that he should be in clinic. Informs Cameron that being near death is no reason for staying home, and makes her do clinic instead.
demonia_eterno: Clinic patients confuse Cameron's fatal giggly state as some new kind of doctor-patient interaction and proceed to wonder what the hell kind of joke they missed, and whether it is going to get them the prescribed birth control pills that they could have just as easily picked up at the drug store.
otherwise: Cameron decides to act like House in clinic. Goes, "Lol masturbation!!" at all the little kids.
demonia_eterno: Little kids giggle, mothers across the world are horrified and vow never to return. House rubs his hands together in his office, glad to know his plans to reduce his clinic time have succeeded.
otherwise: Plays with his little bouncy ball.
otherwise: Bouncy ball hits Foreman on his way in. Foreman has come to a conclusion, "All black people are bastards and criminals! Including me!"
demonia_eterno: House deadpans with some racial comment and Foreman doesn't knock his head off his scrawny British shoulders. House does, of course, know cane-fu, so Foreman could just be being wary.
otherwise: Cameron is so offended by this racist talk that she stops laughing. SHE IS CURED.
otherwise: Wilson is sad. D:
demonia_eterno: House is gleefull on the inside, because once again people other than himself are miserable, and he can take the credit for the super cure which he only partially contributed to. Chase is missing on all the action because he hasn't had anything to do, anyway.
Cameron has, however, grown attached to her constant state of chuckles, and so lapses into depression and regret. This depression and regret is gone within twenty four hours.
demonia_eterno: Wilson looks for more dying people to sleep with, and the cycle renews.
otherwise: Zoom in on: House is eating a food. FADE TO BLACK. .....ON NEXT WEEK'S 'HOUSE'....
demonia_eterno: SOMEONE IS SICK, BUT IT'S NOT THE PERSON YOU ARE INITIALLY LED TO BELIEVE. THEY DIAGNOSE THE SAME THINGS THEY'VE ALWAYS DIAGNOSED UNTIL SOMETHING UNBELIEVABLE HAPPENS. THERE'S A LOT OF DRAMATIC STARING. HOUSE WILL INEVITABLY BE A BASTARD, BUT YOU'LL WATCH IT ANYWAY. CAMERON MAY BECOME UPSET, AND FOREMAN MAY BE BLACK.
otherwise: Chase . . . is STILL under the desk. Crying.
demonia_eterno: Crying wombat tears. Cuddy is still drunk and locked in her office.
demonia_eterno: The audience is wondering wtf just happened.
[/Tory]