An anger shown within the flames An unknown wanted sacrifice An oceans worth, his eyes have teared
I really like these lines. Very nice descriptions.
I've read it a few times and I initially thought there was somthing about stanza 3 that needed to be changed because it 'felt' a little different and flowed differently to me. But upon further reading it seems ok. Perhaps I was stuck on the 'A beautiful soul that's never sinned..' because I don't think of 'never' when it comes to sinning .. because we can do things not quite right and so we sin somewhat ... I'd use 'rarely' instead of 'never' but I don't know your new friend.
I can't say he is perfect but he always tries to fix his mistakes. He has an amazing soul. I guess that's why I wrote that line. Thanks for the comments. *hugs*
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An unknown wanted sacrifice
An oceans worth, his eyes have teared
I really like these lines. Very nice descriptions.
I've read it a few times and I initially thought there was somthing about stanza 3 that needed to be changed because it 'felt' a little different and flowed differently to me. But upon further reading it seems ok. Perhaps I was stuck on the 'A beautiful soul that's never sinned..' because I don't think of 'never' when it comes to sinning .. because we can do things not quite right and so we sin somewhat ... I'd use 'rarely' instead of 'never' but I don't know your new friend.
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Thanks for the comments.
*hugs*
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