the reappearing disappearing me...

Nov 27, 2012 03:34

 i miss you all ( Read more... )

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Comments 23

seawasp November 27 2012, 11:13:27 UTC
I wish I knew words to help.

But if it's real depression (and it sounds like it) the right medication can often help at least give you the ability to see the direction out of the hole, see that there IS a direction. I know, I've seen it work on two of my family.

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denelian November 27 2012, 12:14:36 UTC
define "real"

it's not chronic depression. it's PAIN depression.

also, i can't take SSRIs. porphyria+SSRIs = BADBADBAD

and MAOIs don't work. neither do tricyclics. because it's not a chemical imbalance. it's pain.

but thank you.

[i totally forgot you'd see that. sigh. sorry]

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seawasp November 27 2012, 12:32:47 UTC
I was thinking of clinical depression. Depression from chronic pain is a different matter, and with your health issues you're obviously not able to avail yourself of some of the more obvious solutions.

Don't suppose acupressure would help at all? I've found it gives me relief for a while from various pains.

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denelian November 27 2012, 14:51:38 UTC
*shudder* it just hurts more. acupuncture is even worse.

the meds only help to a point. the difference between an 8 and a 9 is astronautical, but an 8 isn't really livable. and it's the best i get.

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rowangolightly November 27 2012, 14:14:35 UTC
Oh sweetie! I've been wondering where and how you were doing! Pain management is one of the most depressing things there is; I get this. It's hard to think of anything else or make future plans when one is dealing with chronic pain.

I don't have solutions for you but lots of sympathy and hugs!

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denelian November 27 2012, 14:57:48 UTC
thanks :)

i just. it's NOT managed. sigh

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rowangolightly November 27 2012, 23:12:46 UTC
I get that, I do. *moar hugs*

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denelian November 28 2012, 07:11:35 UTC
da. thank you.

i do rather enjoy spelling it "moar", cuz i'm a dork...

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mrs_sweetpeach November 27 2012, 16:35:34 UTC
Well crud. My knees are shot and I'd be in chronic pain if it weren't for the moderate dose of tramadol I take twice a day. And my mood would be pretty bleak if it weren't for my daily dose of cymbalta. And you can't take cymbalta and I have no idea if any pain meds exist that are strong enough to counteract your level of pain and that won't mess you up in some other way. So once again, crud.

It seems to me the key will be coping with or interrupting your pain. Have you tried hypnosis? I seem to recall a conversation long ago with someone who had a deal with pain through hypnosis and convincing it (the pain) that it was reasonable to trade increased levels of pain while he was asleep for lower levels while he was awake. No idea how he accomplished this (and I haven't seen this guy in twenty years) but at the time he said it was working for him.

Does temperature (ambient or otherwise) effect your pain? Do heat or cold packs help? At all?

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denelian November 27 2012, 19:28:51 UTC
i can't be hypnotised. [major trust issues] so...

cold hurts. period. sometimes heat helps, but it often makes me nauseous. so i can't do it much.

i just. yeah. sigh.

but thank you.

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mitrian November 28 2012, 00:05:06 UTC
Unmanaged pain sucks, too badly to put into coherent words.

Pain-depression is a bitch, and she lies. All. The. Fucking. Time.

I don't know what I can say that would help - probably nothing, since words can't take away pain. But I do want you to know that there are some people who think that their lives are better for having you in them, even if just in a small way.

I miss you, and love you, and will be here (and on FB, and rav, and email, and phone/text).

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denelian November 28 2012, 07:13:16 UTC
thank you. love you, too...

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tapati November 28 2012, 11:37:44 UTC


I miss you too! {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

I know the feeling that you don't have a future, a purpose, or HOPE. It's difficult to understand unless you've been there.

You have a right to your feelings, always, no matter what anyone says.

I hope you can find an ounce of joy or pleasure to give you some tiny respite.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

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denelian November 28 2012, 13:20:40 UTC
thank you. sometimes, reading - but i can't read 100% of the time.

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