Fic: What About Me? (Izzy/Denny, AU)
Title: What about Me?
Author: dancinbutterfly
Rating: R for language
Series: First in a series
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy
Spoilers: 17 Seconds
A/N:There's so much potential, so many what ifs. This is one of those what ifs.
Summary: Izzie begs him to let her get him that heart. What if he had answered differently? AU
“What about me? What about me when you go to the light?”
“Izzie,” He tries because he doesn’t want to see her shatter. She’s strong and lovely and this is so wrong. “Iz…”
“No, I get it. Okay, I get it. You’ll be okay, you’ll be fine but what about me?” Her voice breaks and her eyes water and her face falls and she’s still gorgeous even when she cries. “So don’t do it for yourself, do it for me! Please? Please Denny? Please do this for me! Because if you die, oh God. You have to do this. You have to do this for me or I’ll be able never forgive you!”
His heart aches. Not the hurt that he’s used to, that he’s lived with for the last five years that’s like an iron fist around his chest. No, it *aches* as he watches the single most beautiful, brilliant, compassionate woman he has ever met cry herself sick over him. As he watches her literally begging him to let her nearly kill him to save him with a stolen heart.
God, where had she been all his life? He wants to hold those curves beneath him, to fall asleep with her in his king sized bed, to cook breakfast and have babies and share his life with her. He just wishes he could have found her when he was well enough to offer her a real future.
Even so, he doesn’t understand why she is so upset with him for something he has no control over and he can’t stop his voice from shaking.
“For dying?”
“No!” She screams and it takes him aback and her next words threaten to stop his fragile heart. “For making me love you!” And she’s sobbing, a hysterical mess and he just wants to hold her, to make everything right, to protect her and give her everything she wants be he can’t. He just can’t.
“Please?”
“Come here,” he says with a voice that is spiked with sharp tears. He grabs her wrist and pulls her into his arms and she’s made to be their and he hates the way she’s shaking.
“Please do this with me, ok? Please ok?” She begs, her breath coming in gasps and just destroying him. He holds her face with his hand and its smooth and slick with tears she’s weeping for him and it doesn’t stop her so he pulls her against his shoulder. “Please I can’t do this if you don’t-. Please do this for me! Because if you don’t…“
“I…I can’t.” He mumbles because to be the man she loves, the man who he’s worked his whole life to be, the one who is upright and honest and *decent* he can’t let her steal someone else’s heart. “I can’t Izzie. I’m so sorry, but I can’t.”
“Please, Denny. Please let me do this. Please do it, ok? Please? God, *please*!” She hiccups and trembles and then loses words. She lets out a sound he’s never heard before, a keening wordless noise like animals make when they are in pain and dying. And he can’t help but cry with her.
“I love you, Izzie,” He chants through the tears, over and over and over again. It’s his mantra, his anchor, his gravity. She’s become the only thing that matters in his world and he can’t stand her pain. It’s killing him as surely as the heart that refuses to beat on its own.
She cries for so long he loses track time because he weeps with her, for the life they could have if only, the life they *should* have if only... But it’s long enough to know that the heart is gone, in another man who he will find out has kids ages 3 and 5 and he’s still on the LVAD which can give him 2 years. And he can live with that. Two years with Izzie is better than forty with a healthy heart without ever having met her.
“You’re going to get in trouble,” He mumbles later as she hiccups and shivers in his arms. People have to know she’s missing. He won’t let her risk her career over this. It means too much to her.
“Don’t care.”
“You have to care, Izzie.”
“I care about you.”
He sighs as hard as he can with a 130 pound woman on his chest and strokes her hair. He’s waited his entire life for her. And if she wants to stay with him….
“Marry me.”
“That’s not funny.” She sniffs and he smiles. That’s his Izzie. She’s coming back to him, slowly but surely.
“Well that’s good because it’s not a joke.”
She’s sitting up, wiping at her face with the back of her hand and crying a little bit. Her eyes are red but they’re also wide.
“I-“
“Love me. And I love you.” He says and that takes him on the rollercoaster of emotions from despair to elation at the fact that Isobel Stevens loves him. She loves him enough to risk everything, her career and his life, to save him. “And I want to spend the rest of my life, however long it is, with you. I want to fall asleep with you next to me, I want to wake up and have you there, I want to eat with you and talk with you and watch TV with you and play scrabble with you. ‘Til death do us part, whether it’s tomorrow or fifty years from now.”
Her lower lip is practically vibrating and her eyes are watering again as she nods so hard he’s surprised she doesn’t sprain something. It is amazing how fast he’s gone from bleakness to bliss.
And he realizes that she had a point earlier in her argument. Seventeen seconds is nowhere near a decent kiss. And the one his fiancée gives him is definitely a decent kiss.
Author: dancinbutterfly
Rating: R for language
Series: First in a series
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy
Spoilers: 17 Seconds
A/N:There's so much potential, so many what ifs. This is one of those what ifs.
Summary: Izzie begs him to let her get him that heart. What if he had answered differently? AU
“What about me? What about me when you go to the light?”
“Izzie,” He tries because he doesn’t want to see her shatter. She’s strong and lovely and this is so wrong. “Iz…”
“No, I get it. Okay, I get it. You’ll be okay, you’ll be fine but what about me?” Her voice breaks and her eyes water and her face falls and she’s still gorgeous even when she cries. “So don’t do it for yourself, do it for me! Please? Please Denny? Please do this for me! Because if you die, oh God. You have to do this. You have to do this for me or I’ll be able never forgive you!”
His heart aches. Not the hurt that he’s used to, that he’s lived with for the last five years that’s like an iron fist around his chest. No, it *aches* as he watches the single most beautiful, brilliant, compassionate woman he has ever met cry herself sick over him. As he watches her literally begging him to let her nearly kill him to save him with a stolen heart.
God, where had she been all his life? He wants to hold those curves beneath him, to fall asleep with her in his king sized bed, to cook breakfast and have babies and share his life with her. He just wishes he could have found her when he was well enough to offer her a real future.
Even so, he doesn’t understand why she is so upset with him for something he has no control over and he can’t stop his voice from shaking.
“For dying?”
“No!” She screams and it takes him aback and her next words threaten to stop his fragile heart. “For making me love you!” And she’s sobbing, a hysterical mess and he just wants to hold her, to make everything right, to protect her and give her everything she wants be he can’t. He just can’t.
“Please?”
“Come here,” he says with a voice that is spiked with sharp tears. He grabs her wrist and pulls her into his arms and she’s made to be their and he hates the way she’s shaking.
“Please do this with me, ok? Please ok?” She begs, her breath coming in gasps and just destroying him. He holds her face with his hand and its smooth and slick with tears she’s weeping for him and it doesn’t stop her so he pulls her against his shoulder. “Please I can’t do this if you don’t-. Please do this for me! Because if you don’t…“
“I…I can’t.” He mumbles because to be the man she loves, the man who he’s worked his whole life to be, the one who is upright and honest and *decent* he can’t let her steal someone else’s heart. “I can’t Izzie. I’m so sorry, but I can’t.”
“Please, Denny. Please let me do this. Please do it, ok? Please? God, *please*!” She hiccups and trembles and then loses words. She lets out a sound he’s never heard before, a keening wordless noise like animals make when they are in pain and dying. And he can’t help but cry with her.
“I love you, Izzie,” He chants through the tears, over and over and over again. It’s his mantra, his anchor, his gravity. She’s become the only thing that matters in his world and he can’t stand her pain. It’s killing him as surely as the heart that refuses to beat on its own.
She cries for so long he loses track time because he weeps with her, for the life they could have if only, the life they *should* have if only... But it’s long enough to know that the heart is gone, in another man who he will find out has kids ages 3 and 5 and he’s still on the LVAD which can give him 2 years. And he can live with that. Two years with Izzie is better than forty with a healthy heart without ever having met her.
“You’re going to get in trouble,” He mumbles later as she hiccups and shivers in his arms. People have to know she’s missing. He won’t let her risk her career over this. It means too much to her.
“Don’t care.”
“You have to care, Izzie.”
“I care about you.”
He sighs as hard as he can with a 130 pound woman on his chest and strokes her hair. He’s waited his entire life for her. And if she wants to stay with him….
“Marry me.”
“That’s not funny.” She sniffs and he smiles. That’s his Izzie. She’s coming back to him, slowly but surely.
“Well that’s good because it’s not a joke.”
She’s sitting up, wiping at her face with the back of her hand and crying a little bit. Her eyes are red but they’re also wide.
“I-“
“Love me. And I love you.” He says and that takes him on the rollercoaster of emotions from despair to elation at the fact that Isobel Stevens loves him. She loves him enough to risk everything, her career and his life, to save him. “And I want to spend the rest of my life, however long it is, with you. I want to fall asleep with you next to me, I want to wake up and have you there, I want to eat with you and talk with you and watch TV with you and play scrabble with you. ‘Til death do us part, whether it’s tomorrow or fifty years from now.”
Her lower lip is practically vibrating and her eyes are watering again as she nods so hard he’s surprised she doesn’t sprain something. It is amazing how fast he’s gone from bleakness to bliss.
And he realizes that she had a point earlier in her argument. Seventeen seconds is nowhere near a decent kiss. And the one his fiancée gives him is definitely a decent kiss.