(no subject)
This is a new edition of the 'Gross Details of My Sex Life', yay!
So, I almost had sex this weekend XD And fanfics really did not prepare me for how difficult it is XD Now fanfics where virgins immediately have perfect sex will be forever ruined to me because that's just unrealistic.
First we tried to do it in the normal missionary position, but it hurt so much and I think I had some sort of muscle cramps, so he couldn't even get it in, and eventually got limp because he said that the thought of hurting me was totally turning him off (kind of sweet, when you think about it).
So I tried sucking his dick (in a condom, so that was all very hygienic) and that went marginally better. It's actually kind of fun because it's like you get to see the result of your work immediately, unlike, say, at your actual work XDD
So then he tried penetration from behind, and it was like throwing a sausage down a hallway XD I couldn't even feel when he was in, and when he was, he didn't feel anything either, so he asked me to clench some muscles or something, but I didn't know which XDD So that basically didn't work, either, and he just finished his job manually, while I didn't even want to do anything sexual anymore.
And then we just lay in bed, disappointed and dissatisfied, and then had cake and watched Adventure Time. And now he hasn't written to me all day, what if he doesn't want to be friends anymore because of the whole comparatively disappointing experience? Well, ok, he is not really that sort of person who would just stop communicating, I think he would let me know if he didn't want to be friends anymore. And anyhow, it was not like it was 100% my fault that things didn't work out, it was his first time too XD I guess I'm just unhappy about all of that because I hoped that some sort of magical instinctive copulation knowledge will activate and things will work out somehow - but that didn't happen.
Also, it is kind of worrying to me now that one position hurts like a bitch and I don't feel a thing in the other. What if my vagina is installed backwards or something? D: I kind of googled about that and found out so many conditions and syndromes and other horrible stuff that happens to female genitals that I have completely creeped myself out now. I guess we should try sex again (if we are still friends, that is), and if that doesn't work, I should go to the doctor T_T
But let's look at the bright side, he baked me a cake and wore kitty ears and tail for me (ok, that was just so ridiculous, I could barely keep my face straight and not roll down on the floor laughing like a maniac XD He is into the whole cat ear thing, so he hoped I would find it cute... Well, I find it cute that he wanted to do something cute, but his choice of activity, I just can't XDD I feel like laughing even now XDD). So if nothing else, what I got out of this experience was a lot of calories that are probably not very good for me, and an amusing and cute memory, and also some more knowledge about how sex works.
So even if he does decide that the whole deflowering thing is too high-maintenance, and he prefers women who are easier to deal with, it was fun while it lasted, and I am satisfied with the overall result.
So, I almost had sex this weekend XD And fanfics really did not prepare me for how difficult it is XD Now fanfics where virgins immediately have perfect sex will be forever ruined to me because that's just unrealistic.
First we tried to do it in the normal missionary position, but it hurt so much and I think I had some sort of muscle cramps, so he couldn't even get it in, and eventually got limp because he said that the thought of hurting me was totally turning him off (kind of sweet, when you think about it).
So I tried sucking his dick (in a condom, so that was all very hygienic) and that went marginally better. It's actually kind of fun because it's like you get to see the result of your work immediately, unlike, say, at your actual work XDD
So then he tried penetration from behind, and it was like throwing a sausage down a hallway XD I couldn't even feel when he was in, and when he was, he didn't feel anything either, so he asked me to clench some muscles or something, but I didn't know which XDD So that basically didn't work, either, and he just finished his job manually, while I didn't even want to do anything sexual anymore.
And then we just lay in bed, disappointed and dissatisfied, and then had cake and watched Adventure Time. And now he hasn't written to me all day, what if he doesn't want to be friends anymore because of the whole comparatively disappointing experience? Well, ok, he is not really that sort of person who would just stop communicating, I think he would let me know if he didn't want to be friends anymore. And anyhow, it was not like it was 100% my fault that things didn't work out, it was his first time too XD I guess I'm just unhappy about all of that because I hoped that some sort of magical instinctive copulation knowledge will activate and things will work out somehow - but that didn't happen.
Also, it is kind of worrying to me now that one position hurts like a bitch and I don't feel a thing in the other. What if my vagina is installed backwards or something? D: I kind of googled about that and found out so many conditions and syndromes and other horrible stuff that happens to female genitals that I have completely creeped myself out now. I guess we should try sex again (if we are still friends, that is), and if that doesn't work, I should go to the doctor T_T
But let's look at the bright side, he baked me a cake and wore kitty ears and tail for me (ok, that was just so ridiculous, I could barely keep my face straight and not roll down on the floor laughing like a maniac XD He is into the whole cat ear thing, so he hoped I would find it cute... Well, I find it cute that he wanted to do something cute, but his choice of activity, I just can't XDD I feel like laughing even now XDD). So if nothing else, what I got out of this experience was a lot of calories that are probably not very good for me, and an amusing and cute memory, and also some more knowledge about how sex works.
So even if he does decide that the whole deflowering thing is too high-maintenance, and he prefers women who are easier to deal with, it was fun while it lasted, and I am satisfied with the overall result.