I could break things!!!!
I am sooooooooooooo angry right now. My mind is spiraling in different directions.
To you, J***, how dare you!? How dare you blame me for the way things ended! I made you feel small? I hurt you? Yeah, well guess what, you made me cry myself to sleep night after night. You made me sit and think that there was something wrong with me! I sat there trying to figure out what I did wrong, why you weren't happy with me, what I could've done differently! Well it wasn't my fault! You were an asshole and you're well aware of it! Yeah, you're right, it wasn't fair of you to start things with me when there were other "issues" that you had to contend with! You should be sorry. And you know, I'm glad you miss me!
Now to you, J***! How could you call me after all these months and act like nothing! When I ask "Wow, you remembered I exist?" (with of course, my trademark sarcastic tone) Don't answer so casually "Yeah." I hope you heard me ream you through your cell phone of static. Yeah, thanks for calling me on my birthday, though I called you TWICE on your birthday in hopes I could see you for the first time in over a year. Oh wait, not in a year, 9 months because the last time I saw you I dropped EVERYTHING I was doing so that I could pick you up from the bus stop and take you all the way to your apartment because you had no ride. Yeah, that's what a good friend I am. Can the same be said for you? You have no idea what I've been going through for the past 4 months, but yes, tell me how wonderful everything is going for you! ***NOTE TRADEMARK SARCASTIC TONE AT THE END***
OOohh, for you Mr. J***, what you did was a while ago but, I have just discovered your betrayal over the weekend! I mean, it wasn't a big deal but, I can't believe you went behind my back and told them what I told you. It's not like the reprecussions of what was said has hurt me in anyway, I just can't believe that you did what you did. My trust in you has diminished. And this may not be a big deal, but you got trapped in with all the other J's this weekend, so you must be included.
And finally, J****. You know, I blamed myself at first. I thought I pushed you away and I regretted doing so. Then you came back and I hadn't pushed you away at all. We both just got busy with life, which happens sometimes. And I was happy you were back. Now...you're gone, again. Don't tell me you want to start something up and never follow through with it. You really got my hopes up and I thought things were going to go well. Guess not. Why did you call me? Why did you tell me you wanted to spend time with me? Why is it that you're always the one to initiate things and then never follow through with them? Figure out what you want!
Does anyone notice the trend in "J" names? Yeah, I seem to have had that problem all my life. The J's haunt me. I've moved on from the J's. I have. I have met C****. Well, not met, per se, he was already there. He just came back (sounds like a previous journal entry but, I hope the results don't turn out the same). C**** is a really great guy and I hope I don't fuck things up with him, again. I have the tendency to do that with him. C****, I apologize. I know I hurt you before. I let things go last time because the chance with someone else came along and I thought that's what I wanted. Well, that ended up biting me in the ass. I'm going to try to not let that happen this time. I'm glad you're back in my life and I hope this turns out well.
To you, J***, how dare you!? How dare you blame me for the way things ended! I made you feel small? I hurt you? Yeah, well guess what, you made me cry myself to sleep night after night. You made me sit and think that there was something wrong with me! I sat there trying to figure out what I did wrong, why you weren't happy with me, what I could've done differently! Well it wasn't my fault! You were an asshole and you're well aware of it! Yeah, you're right, it wasn't fair of you to start things with me when there were other "issues" that you had to contend with! You should be sorry. And you know, I'm glad you miss me!
Now to you, J***! How could you call me after all these months and act like nothing! When I ask "Wow, you remembered I exist?" (with of course, my trademark sarcastic tone) Don't answer so casually "Yeah." I hope you heard me ream you through your cell phone of static. Yeah, thanks for calling me on my birthday, though I called you TWICE on your birthday in hopes I could see you for the first time in over a year. Oh wait, not in a year, 9 months because the last time I saw you I dropped EVERYTHING I was doing so that I could pick you up from the bus stop and take you all the way to your apartment because you had no ride. Yeah, that's what a good friend I am. Can the same be said for you? You have no idea what I've been going through for the past 4 months, but yes, tell me how wonderful everything is going for you! ***NOTE TRADEMARK SARCASTIC TONE AT THE END***
OOohh, for you Mr. J***, what you did was a while ago but, I have just discovered your betrayal over the weekend! I mean, it wasn't a big deal but, I can't believe you went behind my back and told them what I told you. It's not like the reprecussions of what was said has hurt me in anyway, I just can't believe that you did what you did. My trust in you has diminished. And this may not be a big deal, but you got trapped in with all the other J's this weekend, so you must be included.
And finally, J****. You know, I blamed myself at first. I thought I pushed you away and I regretted doing so. Then you came back and I hadn't pushed you away at all. We both just got busy with life, which happens sometimes. And I was happy you were back. Now...you're gone, again. Don't tell me you want to start something up and never follow through with it. You really got my hopes up and I thought things were going to go well. Guess not. Why did you call me? Why did you tell me you wanted to spend time with me? Why is it that you're always the one to initiate things and then never follow through with them? Figure out what you want!
Does anyone notice the trend in "J" names? Yeah, I seem to have had that problem all my life. The J's haunt me. I've moved on from the J's. I have. I have met C****. Well, not met, per se, he was already there. He just came back (sounds like a previous journal entry but, I hope the results don't turn out the same). C**** is a really great guy and I hope I don't fuck things up with him, again. I have the tendency to do that with him. C****, I apologize. I know I hurt you before. I let things go last time because the chance with someone else came along and I thought that's what I wanted. Well, that ended up biting me in the ass. I'm going to try to not let that happen this time. I'm glad you're back in my life and I hope this turns out well.