(Untitled)

[depleti]

Prologue

The boy sobbed as the boat rocked back and forth in the violent waves.  His wrists were tied behind him, the rope digging into huge red cuts up and down his forearms.  Blood seeped through the bandages and stitches holding his skin together.  He could barely move his hands.

Two men sat in the boat with him.

Comments

[hannah_mcgill]

Ignatius origin story ftw!

This was pretty polished already. If it were me writing this, I'd expand on how powerful the ocean waves were when the poor kid was trying to swim, but I liked the peril that was implied when he couldn't form his hands into flippers and was basically just flailing. The random bits of sparks were good too.

...And by 'liked' I mean as in the trouble with the water made the story exciting and interesting. XD; I do not care for when people actually drown, so when he made it to shore, that was good.

[depleti]

Haha! Yeah drowning Ignatius would be bad! Thank you for reading and responding. :3 What I wrote is pretty much a first pass so I'll definitely look at it again later and see if I want to add any more.

[kibethsbark]

I like this as a prologue! :) I do have a question, though; in this sentence, who is the "him" in the second part, Ignatius or the skeleton man? "He looked up in horror, cowered and covered his face, then a large branch pummeled him to the sand."

Also, with the last two sentences, if you want to imply that more time passed between Derek and Madeline caring for Ignatius and Ignatius telling them what happened to him, maybe put it on a new line (and/or add "Eventually,") - assuming, of course, that he didn't tell them straight away. Which would make more sense to me, given how much trauma he's already been through. But that's just my 2 cents ;)

[depleti]

Oh yeah that's supposed to be the skeleton man. I'll go back to this bit after some time away and see what might be confusing or need explanation. I like your idea of intimating the passage of time! Could add some more foreboding aspects too.

Thank you for reading! <33 I'm three chapters away from the end of editing. >D