Technically I started this on the 13th...
A message is waiting for Orlando on his answering machine. When he plays it he will hear this:
"Hey Orlando, this is Johnny. I know it's been a while, I've been camping out on that island of mine in the Caribbean and getting it furnished just the way I like it. The kids and I spent Christmas and New Year's here with my Mom and brother and sisters. Vanessa even dropped by for a night. I'm sure you can imagine how the kids liked that late Christmas present.
I hope that you and Will are doing well and that you had a cozy and enjoyable holiday. The kids miss their favorite uncles like crazy and are going to want to be at your door the moment we get home. They also send their love to Julie, Little Elf, and Benji.
Well, the main reason I-" There's a chorus of high-pitched protest in the background here. "Ok, the main reason we called was to wish you a happy 28th birthday. So for your listening tolerance, I'm not sure I could honestly say pleasure, here are Lily-Rose, Jack, and Johnny Depp." The line is quite for a minute before all three Depps break into singing 'Happy Birthday!' into the phone. Johnny and Lily are singing well, but Jack's voice is all over the scale and note range, sometimes he's not even singing the right song. They end on a long, drawn out note and Jack and Lilys breathless giggling can be heard fading away.
"Sorry if we just scared the shit out of you, but the kids kept trying to call you themselves so I finally had to help them out and dial the right number for them. I wish you the best on this day Orlando, and hope that you and Will celebrate right.
On that subject I should tell you to expect your Christmas present. It should be getting there any day now. I hope youll enjoy this, it's a sample crate of wines from the Volcano Winery on Hawai'i. Someone served me some of the Volcano Red and I was hooked. The rest of the wines are good too, I think Will will like the Macadameia Nut Honey, it barely tastes like wine at all, very sweet. You should be getting a bottle of each wine they make. I hope you like them.
Sadly the minutes are ticking by and Lily and Jack are squabbling over something, as usual. Again I wish you a most happy birthday and hope you're both well. Talk to you when we get home!"
~end message~
"Hey Orlando, this is Johnny. I know it's been a while, I've been camping out on that island of mine in the Caribbean and getting it furnished just the way I like it. The kids and I spent Christmas and New Year's here with my Mom and brother and sisters. Vanessa even dropped by for a night. I'm sure you can imagine how the kids liked that late Christmas present.
I hope that you and Will are doing well and that you had a cozy and enjoyable holiday. The kids miss their favorite uncles like crazy and are going to want to be at your door the moment we get home. They also send their love to Julie, Little Elf, and Benji.
Well, the main reason I-" There's a chorus of high-pitched protest in the background here. "Ok, the main reason we called was to wish you a happy 28th birthday. So for your listening tolerance, I'm not sure I could honestly say pleasure, here are Lily-Rose, Jack, and Johnny Depp." The line is quite for a minute before all three Depps break into singing 'Happy Birthday!' into the phone. Johnny and Lily are singing well, but Jack's voice is all over the scale and note range, sometimes he's not even singing the right song. They end on a long, drawn out note and Jack and Lilys breathless giggling can be heard fading away.
"Sorry if we just scared the shit out of you, but the kids kept trying to call you themselves so I finally had to help them out and dial the right number for them. I wish you the best on this day Orlando, and hope that you and Will celebrate right.
On that subject I should tell you to expect your Christmas present. It should be getting there any day now. I hope youll enjoy this, it's a sample crate of wines from the Volcano Winery on Hawai'i. Someone served me some of the Volcano Red and I was hooked. The rest of the wines are good too, I think Will will like the Macadameia Nut Honey, it barely tastes like wine at all, very sweet. You should be getting a bottle of each wine they make. I hope you like them.
Sadly the minutes are ticking by and Lily and Jack are squabbling over something, as usual. Again I wish you a most happy birthday and hope you're both well. Talk to you when we get home!"
~end message~